by Myakkaeast
Good premise for a story but the writing is terrible. Use some quotation marks for the dialogue, check your spelling (wholly shit?) and clean up the grammar.
What was that? No story just a random bunch of words. So the female character is a cheating skank. Does its husband know she is cheating is that what the video is for? 1☆
I'm glad you started by saying that she was your wife. It still wasn't enough to make this a Loving Wives story, but it puts you a step above quite a few of the other clueless newbies who post inappropriate stories in this category...
What the hell was that? How does it feel to piss away the opportunity to introduce yourself with a decent story? No, you choose another worthless cheating skank story with so many mistakes I couldn't get past the first half page. Come up with something interesting to write and get an editor. Maybe people will read more of what you submit.
Well, a good story/imagination, but you REALLY need to get someone to help you with the writing. No way would you have passed my 7th grade writing class
I agree with most of the other comments. Writing was simplistic and primitive. Not erotic. Not even interesting. Gave you 2 stars for the idea. Not going to bother reading your other story. Moving on