All Comments on 'Saturday Morning Cartoons'

A little corny, a little sweet - enjoyed the disparate interior dialogue playing off the spoken - all inspersed with toon' talk. Not the hottest story I've read today but probably the most ambitious &t fullest realization of potential

I liked your story and hope you write a follow up to it. They were so close. Do they do the deed or not?

I was going to give you a four until I read this oxymoron:

( I would like to thank patientlee for her time editing this story. Any mistakes you see are still all mine. )

This makes no sense what-so-ever. If it WAS edited, it was done very poorly. So, you either had a crappy editor, you're lying about having an editor, or, after your so called editor worked so hard on doing what ever it is they wanted you to believe they did, you went behind their backs and either changed what they did or add shit that they never saw/or got a chance to re edit.

Don't get me wrong. This was a good story and has a lot of potential. Just don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. If you bothered to read through the story yourself, you would have (maybe) seen the mistakes and corrected them yourself. A writer with as many titles as you have should be nearly error free. So that tells me you don't really care about what you put on the page.

Yet again, an engrossing tale filled with wit and sexual tension thick enough to carve for a meal. Your lack of physical description, or rush to unveil details of the parties draws a reader in. Something I have a fondness for. A second more intense chapter is surely coming so I don't need to ask for one. I only hope you enjoy writing these as much as we do reading. Thanks MsTarot.

I thoroughly enjoyed that.

Thank you.

Your style is very well done. The story is stimulating and takes on the notion that it could be real. Happy Trails.

I love your writing style. I feel like I'm reading a real life story. And truthfully? I wish I were the lucky guy. To have that kind of love with that kind of passion - truly amazing. Thanks for sharing your talent.

Very nicely done. This was one of the better stories I have read on this site. As always you right a remarkable story that has not only humor but passion built in. Keep up the good work.

I had to favourite this story as it is the best you have written IMHO.

More please, more......Wonderful story and interesting characters and a twisted situation.

please write more . this story is so life like , and could of happened . thank you , you made me think that there is true relationships out there

You have a very good command of dialogue. It makes the story seem much more realisitic. A lot of stories on Literotica struggle with dialogue or have none at all so its very refreshing to read a story where it is done very well. Good job!

The way you put the words together to show what was happening in their minds not just their bodies was awesome. Plus the occasional throw in of the cartoons from their background made it seem so real. I'm looking forward to the rest of this story !

It was a fun read.

You could teach some of the other writers a thing or two, about telling a story. Please keep your great work going. Thank you for this read.

I usually don't much like stories that begin with oral, and especially anal, (both are fine later) but this was truly a great STORY, beautifully developed with the truth that it is really up to the woman what happens in sex. Except in rape, of course. So where do we go from here? Please continue, and please have genital sex before the anal. Gwen needs both to compare her brother's capacities each way - and her own likes. Maybe she will prefer the oral, after such tremendous climaxes. Let her find out as they continue their adventure. Remember, it's up to her, no matter how much a guy thinks he is in control.

but took to long to get there then finished to quick,next chapter ASAP

GIVE ME MORE!!!! This is the greatest story I have read. I'm definitely coming back.

hands down the most incredible story i have ever read, this is a piece of literary art. Please come out with a chapter two.

Had me wanting to drive her just the way the brother did. Getting to the finale will be a fun time.

RS

Brilliant story! I hope we get to hear more from them. Maybe when their parents are sleeping or something!

Thanks! One of the best stories I've read all week, had everything needed for a great story and was very hot without the tasteless fuck and suck huge cock and tits stories that have been written this week.

More chapters are not only wanted but needed.

Great read as always MSTarot. Another chapter please.

Please that is an amazing start I can't wait to read more

am ready for the next chapter!

Really HOT story...loved it and want more...please!!!!

Great story! I want to read a follow-up!

I hope this story continues

Good start hope to read more.

great story hope there is another chapter

I like the slow building pace of your story! Add to it soon before you wander off to your other stories (or you can knit into it other idea(s) and make a sweet series!) Keep writing

Wasn't the usual bang bang bang stories that are frequent on here. Nice build up and well written to make the scene quite believable instead of a low budget porn script.

But, "Where's the KABOOM, I was expecting an earth shattering KABOOM?"

It got me dripping wet.

Great story so far. There's obviously openings for more (pun intended). You definitely should continue with this.

Keep writing. Mom and Dad can go away again. Give the young man a healthy dusting of hair on his great masculine chest. Something for his sister to run her fingertips through!

I've read a lot of your stories. All of them are not the drop down on the floor and lets fuck stories. There is a plot. And you do something I wish I could do. Write dialogue. That is a talent. The other thing is you don't give your characters over exaggerated body dimensions. Huge breasts or baseball bats for cocks. You left it to our imagination. The story was believable. I'd like to see you continue this particular story.

You don't need to worry about the spelling, in most cases it's the grammar. The story line was very good yet the ending left something to be desired, perhaps a sequel. I'm a professional editor though not working at present (I'm retired.) Yhave something, perhaps a god given talent for writing. Keep it up.....I'll be watching (and reading.)

Great story

I liked how the plot was realistic, and how talking about sex got them involved sexually. The first pussy I ate was my older sister's. I stepped into her room to ask her about a question on my home work and she was naked, I just stood there looking at her with my mouth open, stunned. She said never saw a pussy before?

I just gawked at her full tits and bare pussy, and she laughed at me.

The next thing I knew, she walked over to me, pulled me over to her bed sat down then opened her legs an told me to take a good look. She put my face in front of her open pussy, and said smell it, lick it, and taste it. I did and that was the start of our sexual relationship.

As the editor below commented, you are a good writer! I worked in printing/advertising for a long time and it's always nice to see someone on here that can write well and bothers to read their own work and realize that it doesn't look or sound right.

The story had a beautifully smooth transition from situation to sex (unlike the last horrid story I was reading!) and was wonderfully told :)

Setting aside the story, the thing I usually find most annoying is people writing dialog that isn't how we normally talk. The big one is new writers not using contractions. If you've read lots on here you know what I mean! Failure to use contractions makes the actor sound like a robot and ruins the story.

...anyway awesome job! Think I'll checkout your other stuff!

I'll be reading more of your work.

it doesn't matter how good a story or writer is if the story is left unfinished it is a piece of shit. ALWAYS FINISH WHAT YOU START AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. IDEALLY THE WHOLE STORY SHOULD BE WRITTEN OUT IN ROUGH FORM INCLUDING CHAPTERS BEFORE YOU EDIT OR POST ANYTHING, THAT WAY READERS DON'T HAVE TO WAIT FOREVER FOR NEW CHAPTERS AND DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT YOU GETTING A BRAIN FART.

Last poster:

...well I guess it's a good thing that most writers on here are writing to entertain themselves and don't have to give a rats ass wether or not you're happy! This author, hell most of the authors on here for that matter, probably write like I do... Purely off the top of my head, usually in the spur of the moment with an idea and no clue where it's going till the pen is moving on the paper. Planning ahead is typically the next paragraph!

...now if you're writing for a living or are writing about something you've been thinking about for a long time, well that's different. Personally I *hate* formatting a story, planning out chapters, blah blah... Thats more like WORK and sucks the fun out of writing for me. Yeah, some folks enjoy that, some folks like eating okra too. Most of us don't. ;)

...and while we're on the subject of work... QUIT YELLING LIKE YOU ARE HIS EIGHT YEAR OLD BOSS AND EXPECTING RESULTS!!

...I won't put up with my parents yelling at me, and I love them! My boss? I'd press harassment and verbal assault charges in a heartbeat. (Or at least tell His Boss that and let him fix the asshat). ...

I used to run heating and air conditioning service calls. When a customer yelled at me, cussed me or made threats, where do you think they went on my priority 0list of things to fix? Too funny! The last customer that cussed me out? I'd stayed out three hours past the end of my shift,on a lovely 105 degree day after climbing in attics all day (can you say 150 degrees?) with no dinner just so I could get everyone on my list done and not have to push them to the next day.

...I had called my customers letting them know I was going to be late (contrary to consumer belief, equipment doesnt fix itself in 30 minutes when I show up just so I can be on my merry way at the end of the hour!), I pulled up to my last call, 8:05pm, Im backing the truck up to the curb when a guy comes outside, he's on the phone. He walks up to me with a resigned look of despair on his face and says "my wife wants to talk to you." And hands me the phone. I knew where this was going already... He did too, looking back, heh.

She proceeds to cuss at me, blaming me for the world coming to an end, my inability to control time and teleport (or tesseract, if you prefer), and a number of other things. I asked her politely not to cuss at me, explained the nature of the work in relation to time and explained thats why I give Four Hour windows,not to innocence people but because thats just how it works sometimes. ...all to no avail, hell she got madder when I asked her not to cuss at me!!

I silently let her rant for a while then hit end on the phone and gave it back to the man. He didn't bat an eye. "You hang up on her?" 'Yep.' (Looked as if he had been there) "...you leaving?" 'Yep." He turned around and walked back in the house sadly shaking his head. She was a raving lunatic and she wasn't even the one home with out cold air! ...So I fired the customer!

The moral of the story is this: The author probably already has the next chapter written and ready to go but somebody went and pissed him off so he's either sitting on it for fun or decided it wasn't worth posting just for an ass to read ;)

...whew! THAT was fun to write ;)

Author, thanks for the story, good stuff!!

Man oh man have you got a winner for a great story here. I have a feeling if this goes on that little sister is going to drive bubba crazy! Good read. Loved the cartoon analogies.

Glad I found this story, Thanks for writting. Hope you pen more!

OMG DUDE! This was AWESOME!!! I loved the Saturday morning cartoon's "roll" in the story. The way you integrated them into the dialogue and actions of the characters was EPIC O.O I love watching cartoons...

Please consider writing more about these two. Your descriptions on the inner workings of the minds of men and women were refreshingly accurate and artfully expressed.

who knows, they might even find out they are the ones for each other. if not they will have a wonderful learning experience till then.

I like more the longer stories, with a lot of build-up, but still, I loved your story. I think you rushed things a little too much when the action started, but the real gem in here is the insight the guy has. I would like to believe that there are some truly good guys out there, I know I considered myself one of those. Until, of course, something similar than what happened to him happened to me. It is disturbing how similar your character and I both are. Appart from the physical description, the fact that I am not as successful with girls as he seems to be (sister included) and the level of honesty he shows with his sister (just a little too honest for me) I think that you got him pretty much as a part of me. And I mention this because I think the character was very well formed in the story. So bottom line: cheers for the great work you did here mate! Very enjoyable work of literature!

I really enjoyed the story which had a very realistic touch between 2 people who know & trust each other. Like other comments, it would have been much more erotic if the actual sexual interaction was a bit more drawn out, but I guess there's plenty of room for that in upcoming chapters... Look forward to the continuation!

Please write a sequel to Saturday Morning Cartoons. The characters were well developed and believable. It started out a little slow but was Hot at the end. That said,,the way you ended it left left me feeling only half full, unsatisfied as a reader and wanting more.. Please write a chapter 2, and finish the story at a more natural point. The hard part (developing the characters and plot line) is already done.

Everything they said and then some more......... Chapters, that is....... ;-)

Great story...... I loved it........ It's heart breaking, it's soft, it's sweet, it's sexy and I suspect they fall in love....... they seem to be made for each other.....

Fantastic story great build up good advice. Don not leave us hanging.

A chapter 2 please - with a nice, fairytale ending.

Please wright a second chapter soon. thanks in advance

Lets step right on in there and pump out a few more chapters.Come on now lets get with the program.

this deserves a negative vote for failure to finish and for failure to properly edit before posting. a real writer would be ashamed to post an unfinished, unedited story like this.

Yeah, someone should be flogged for not having another chapter after that fucking awesome teaser! Lol. ...but I didn't notice enough to bother with bitching about editing. Hell, you should have seen the last travesty I read on here, lol.

Close call, had me there with you. Now for those leaving negative comments.....Go Fuck yourselves!! Remember these are fantasy stories, why poo poo any kind of fantasy? Do chapter two by tying up dad with a fish stuffed in his mouth while you throat fuck his`wife!!?? Claim sis and mom, no sharing, only pussies share their women. If I didn't like your story I would have said ....."it gave me a soft-on" I couldn't write anything clever enough to get two paragraphs. Tweek the "vanilla" sex a bit....turn your sisters ex lover into one of your "tricks" who worships your cock just to help her "get over" her sadness.

Great idea with how they slipped into having sex together. I loved how he told her the truth about guys and how every word of it rang true. That's just how guys are!

You might want to start a new category called tutorial. This would be the study guide. 5 star all the way.

wait is that all???

i wish he would make a series out of this, it would be so very good

I would pay to see this one continue!!!

She breathed in deep the steam (AWKWARDLY EXPRESSED THIS WAS!!!!) (YODA????)

skinny dipping (skinny-dipping)

any more (anymore)

eying my coffee with a near lust (POORLY WORDED!!!!)

you naught girl (naughty)

drug junky (CLUMSY!!!!)

tossed it back in one long (-sip) (gulp)

half-a-pot (a half pot)

boyfriends (boyfriend’s)

roof tops (rooftops)

through (-to) door (the)

out (of) the way

blushed beautiful (beautifully)

met (meet)

Drama (drama)

straight up questing (questioning)

it's hood (its)

over powering (overpowering)

over stuffed pillowed cushions (overstuffed pillow)

striped it off (stripped)

I'm one of those, "I've been a long time Literotica reader and have never commented on a story" guys. This is, by far, my favorite story to date. You are an amazing writer and I can vividly picture everything I read. Keep on being amazing! And also, will there be a part 2?

where do they go from here. Gwen did say "later" and I would love to read that

sexy but a lot of fun - well done!

Good job, well put together dude

I've now read four of your delightful stories. Five stars all. I thought the interspersing of cartoon dialogue was quite effective. And who says incest is a serious matter?!

Please continue this story? I really want to know if they get together.

I absolutely love reading your stories and as always, I just want more and more.

When a man compliments you, he can never lie...

LOL. Such wisdom. I did have to roll my eyes at a few points. Don't worry, Mr. Tarot, five stars. I knew a guy or two who would talk like that. They seemed to do all right with the ladies.

Truly EXCELLENT! I was repeating Marvin the Martian’s lines as I read them. I truly feel bad for kids today. No great cartoons on Saturday, nor any other day.

Regarding the story, I sure hope there is more coming, as he hasn’t poked her yet. And you just know as much as she enjoyed his eating er, she will really get off on a good old fashioned pronging! Especially after that self centered @#,!! Er. Used her for his pleasure regardless of hers.

Jerks like that should get ONE chance to straighten up, or be castrated so he will ever damage an innocent girl again.

Great story. I will be reading more of your works!

Amazingly written and HOT

[09.11.22]

Cute 'n' Fun!

11/10!!!!!

Nice little story.

Very Funny...Very Fun...and VERY HOT!!

I loved the cartoon references (even tho' I very much dislike Marvin the Martian...ick!!)

Brother licks sister, butt and pussy...my sister does not know what she misses out on, from me!!

Five Stars...💫💫💫💫💫🔥🌋💯

Very sweet and intimate!!