All Comments on 'Satyr Play 02 Pt. 01'

Always write awesome stories. Loved the first and I am positive this one will be great as well. Thanks Burnt

I started rereading Satyr Play last night and when I woke up what do I find? I can't wait to get into this story. I know it will be great just like all of your other stories. So thank you in advance for another Satyr story.

The wait was long.

Truly great writing, eclipsing some of the supernatural novels I've read from professional authors. I am jealous of your talent, man. Waiting on pins and needles for part 2.

Thanks for this "fix" of your memorable and unique story! As always, await each episode of your tall tales and am never disappointed!

The wait was long but well worth it, definitely looking forward to part 2. I'm curious about a lot of things but i'll keep my thoughts to myself in case i say utter an accidental spoiler (ye just gotta hate spoilers) Nice work man.

Not the way I was expecting it to go. It’s even better than I thought it would be. When do you plan to release part 2? I’ll go back and reread the first two installments while I wait.

There's several pronoun swaps, and vrl it sorted vrs a couple of times. Kind of ruins the impact of the story when you stop and have to question what you just read. But this red of the piece makes up for it.

That's what I got from this story. Two days of exciting reading, laughing out loud and giggling with excitement at times. Thanks so much for a great story.

I can't believe that was 28 pages... I was nowhere near ready for that story to reach the end...

Now you're going to have me chomping at the bit waiting for the next chapter...

I read it straight through and felt like I'd hit a brick wall when I got to the end of the final page. This story has a real sense of momentum to it, which is impressive. Looking forward to the next installment when you get around to it.

Marvelous continuation of the story, very good development of characters. Looking forward to seeing what's next.

Can not wait for the next part!

Thanks!

thank you for this sequel!

chaotic quick pacing by your standards. am enjoying it; so satyr play 02 pt.02 is on the way? :)

I am so glad that you decided to try writing fantasy. A truly engaging story.

I would recommend using a good editor as the occasional grammar and spelling errors (i.e. the ‘docs’ at the marina, or working at VRT) did distract a bit from the flow, but still an exceptional tale well told. I am definitely looking forward to the next installment!

I’m so glad to see you continue this story! It’s a classic and very well written! My only problem with it is your pacing, it jumps around to too many different people, some seem important but others don’t, and sometimes it was impossible to keep up with them all! A few too many extras... I still am hoping Marisa and Henry finally admit their in love and end up together, and not Nate and Marisa... not that I don’t like him but Henry is the man for her. As well as everything working out for our original main cast :) keep up the good work!

The storyline with Nate was great. While his origin story was not a favorite, I liked that you brought him in so seamlessly and hope to see more of him. He and Stanley would make a great team for so many issues. Nate and Mab would be an interesting showdown.

Mary is a great storyline and an awesome character. The other detective was a huge loss, but it added so much to Mary. I could almost see her trying not to retch before turning to flee.

Some of the military people and assassins are starting to get a little confusing. I need to reread to make sure that I get them straight. If you can find a good way to help keep them straight, it would be useful. You have added a lot of minor characters in this installment, and it just became difficult to figure out which ones needed to be remember.

The editing problems that you mention in your biography do show up, but I think you fixed the worst of them.

For fantasy not being your genre, you do a hell of a job with it. I hope you will do more of it . . . after you finish this one!

Loving the fast pace, the intricate weaving of story threads, and the good natured bumbling of the protagonist. The gradual enhancement of Henry's friends is intriguing. Not sure why Roger has any friends after all the problems he causes, but his character does grease the wheels of "making bad shit happen" rather well. I'm sure he means well! Very nice work!

Amazingly well paced story and great characters. Even though you claim to not know much about magic you seem to have figured out a good methodology to its existence. You have a very similar style to Eoin Colfer who mixes magic with the normal world and heaps of humour to help it all come together. Great writing and can't wait for more. Maybe put it in slices of 10 chapters to help the wait?? 5 stars all day long. Thank you for the gift of the story

Brilliant. Can hardly wait for the next chapter.

OUTSTANDING!!! AMAZING!!! First thing you need to know before I go on is, I REALLY hate Sci-Fi/Fantasy. For some reason your writing skill keeps me hooked, Thank You! OK, one confusing spot for me. Maybe this all gets cleared up in your next installment. Nate has learned through personal experience that after having sex with human women he leaves them as wack jobs – so to speak – so a condom is his answer (with humans). Camila finds that Nate is a good lover but “less potent” than Henry in the wild magic area. Henry has sex with the human Mary (or is she another one that just thinks she is human?) whom becomes stronger and more aggressive but not a nut job like Nate experienced with humans. Seems to me that Mary should have become a babbling brook. I'm not complaining as the story is nowhere near the end yet but, I am curious.

Thank You!!!

but...

I've been reading stories like this for over a decade on this site... and for this kind of story, consider the following criticism

Henry a bubble, the innermost ring, I guess. He is the core of the story. Then around that bubble there is the plot of the story. This touches Henry and the outer ring. that ring being the intimacy between Henry and the rest of the characters in this story. not just sex, but love. emotion. intimate emotional interactions between Henry and the rest of the cast that drive character development. It feels like this outer ring only touches the plot and does not/or extremely sparely touches Henry.

It ends up feeling like the intimacy is shoehorned in and most of the time exists only to drive the plot forward. hence my analogy. This also ends up feeling like there is no rest between one set of events and the next so there ends up being no time to develop the characters interactions with each other, but only the overarching plot of the series.

If you see this I very much hope you consider it constructive feedback. Look at how lptc writes "Endangered"

I like that Nate is in this story. Hopefully he gets to meet Henry and become Henry's friend in part 2, as well as learn more about the Hidden Races.

As I read the second half of this story, I kept waiting for the NSA people to show up at VRL and/or keep attacking the company's computers. This didn't happen, even though the first half of the story led me to think they would keep up their attack on the computers.

Hopefully, part 2 will also explain what happened to Mary and how she's changed after her encounter with Henry. Is she still human or not quire human any more?

You’ve created likable, sexy characters in a believable, internally logical world. When Henry is in small scenes discussing personal relationships (on dates, watching Casablanca), that’s when the story pops and crackles with magic. The layer upon layer of secret machinations between various global factions is tiring. “Social Caterpillar/Computer Nerd thrown into a World of Magic and Hot Sex” is an interesting enough story. The fate of the world doesn’t need to be on his shoulders. Why Roy, Queen Mab, the High Council, or Camila (all these people who have a direct interest in keeping Henry safe) haven’t assigned him a Personal Security Team is beyond me.

Roger needs to die in a fire. He can die heroically, rescuing babies or something. But he needs to die. If he’s still part of the Circle of Friends after spiking Henry’s drink, meh. Those aren’t friends. What he did was a betrayal, monstrous even.

I'm of two minds of this story. The first one was very good and kept me interested the entire time. This one....was a bit hit or miss. It felt like a majority of the time our MAIN character was out of commission, either recovering from grief or just out cold. The middle was kind of a chore to read through in my opinion. With Henry out of commission for a lot of it, I struggled to read through the accounts of characters who, while I somewhat care for, aren't my focus. I like to see Henry within the action and NOT getting knocked out in some way. The story of this part implied it revolved around Henry but the content itself was anything but. I'm also just not interested in Nate's story. Maybe I'm alone on that opinion but he's just irrelevant to me. Otherwise, the beginning and end pages of this story were pretty good. The plot was furthered a bit more there which actually kept me engaged. I hope future parts focus a bit more around Henry.

Even a triple shot of rum shouldn't hit Henry that hard (maybe if it was seriously overproof, but it would be unlikely any club would serve doubles of that). An ordinary triple (3-4 oz) would definitely be felt, but it shouldn't totally incapacitate him. For the sake of argument, the magic amplifies the effect of alcohol and not only makes Henry lose control of his inhibitions (Tish/Sandy) and pheromones (club orgy), it makes him black-out drunk when he passes out.

I don't know why I care about trivial things like this in such a huge and entertaining story, but it just felt odd to me that such a strong creature could be felled so easily by something a college kid would drink for breakfast.

I very much liked how many different scenes and characters you incorporated in order to let the audience know what is happening all around the globe and how the main characters are tied to whatever they're tied to. However, i dont see why Part 1 should have stopped here. Soo many questions and almost 0 answers. Im sure every1 and all your scenes will most likely tie into Henry, Baba Yaga, and/or Nate? And that is a lot of exciting potential. But it's still a lot. Your audience is going to need a LOT of answers to a lot of the problems you brought up in this part of the story. It's just a big assignment you've made 4 yourself as a writer and im just hoping every conflict and sub conflict brought into this story can be resolved smoothly in future parts of your satyr story. Because so far i seriously love all the parts you're adding! And i have no clue how it's all gona fit or crash together! More!! 😎

But needs work. I remember the first one being better written. You need to work on clarity.

There was a bit to much jumping around I know it was necessary to explain what was happening around the world but I found myself getting bored and skimming those bits. I do love the world you created hope the next one doesn't jump around so much

Everything about Mahati is bizarre to the point of being immersion breaking. Why is she still there? We're supposed to believe she wasn't thrown out on her ass after attempting to kill Henry? As well, every scene involving Nate makes me want to start skipping ahead to somewhere I don't see his name. What purpose does he even serve?

I am really enjoying this series, it is a seriously great read. There are a couple of issues but they aren't going to stop my pleasure of reading it.

I read the first installment a while back and I was so pleased when I tumbled to there being a new two part continued story for me to thrill to. You are a wonderful teller of stories that also contains some lovely sex scenes, but would still be a very good tale without them. Please keep sending these incredible and erotic stories our way, and I thank you. TTFN

Love the stories you write. One small error I noticed in the middle of the story during one of Henry’s dreams, due to being former military. A Senior Airman would never be at the controls of a military aircraft. That is an enlisted rank not an officer, only officers are trained to fly aircraft (besides drones). I know it’s not exactly common knowledge as most people think almost everybody flies planes in the Air Force. Other than that small quibble I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the story you’ve told and look forward to more of pretty much anything you write.

Really liking this series, which is strange because I've never before liked or continued to read any story with 'magic' or/and mythical creatures in it. They just leave me cold or bored. But this one sucked me in and I'm loving it. Great story so far. (I thought from the name it would be about a normal human guy who just had a hight sex drive LOL.)

Another strange thing, for me, is that I have a hard time with names, remembering them, both in real life and when I'm reading. And in reading fiction with large casts I often have a hard time remembering who is who. So I usually don't go for stories with large casts, but I've not had any trouble remembering who everyone is in this story.

I guess the reason for me enjoying this in spite of my above reasons for not usually liking stories with large casts and mythical creatures is that this story is VERY well written and both has good spelling and grammar AND a really good plot.

I'm bummed that there's only one more chapter.

OH yeah, just read the previous anon comment from a year ago about Senior Airmen being enlisted and in the US Air Force only commissioned officers are pilots. In the Army, at least when I was in it back in the early seventies, the Helicopter pilots were often warrant officers.

But that's about the only thing that strung an odd note. Everything else is great, and that's a minor thing that didn't bother me, just something I noted. And it's the Author's universe, so maybe in that universe pilots ARE senior airmen.

I see someone already made a comment about Air Force ranks, so I shan’t belabor it.

Otherwise, the only flaw that bothered me was the reference to someone being “given free reign” to do whatever. It is supposed to be “free rein”, and why so many authors cannot tell rein from reign from rain is one of the great mysteries in life. Mr. Redstone clearly used the words correctly up until this instance, or I’d have noticed.

Still, even with his having an Airman flying jets and the reign/rein/rain issue, he rates an easy 5* ****, writing better than the majority of 5-star writers on this or any site.

Excellent story bar the minor mistakes we civilians can make re mil-speak etc (and I married into a Mil family!), otherwise I’m lovin’ it and I want more! Thanks to BurntRedstone for writing and posting for our FREE enjoyment!

Hang on. Let me get this straight. He has a ring that, if he turns it, will kill the entire Human race, and he goes out and gets fall down drunk? Just goes to prove, that really smart people can be absolute morons too. One absent minded, drunken fiddle with that and BOOM! Everyone's dead. You'd think he would be aware of this little problem.

Roger is an ass!

Great story. Love the reference to Fort McMurray!

I agree with one of the comments on the main character, Henry! I know, I know he's as smart as a whip but very Immature, like a new born! I quit drinking and watching TV 25 years ago. He could at least stay away from the spirits and Sigrid and Joe should get him into some self defense classes, hahaha! Still, an excellent story to give more praise to one of the best Authors ever on Literotica! Another 5 BIG FAT FUCKING FLAMING STARS! Thank you Burnt Red Stone!

Seriously, this has all the makings of an awesome TV show. Maybe for HBO. The characters are interesting, there is considerable growth in them, and there are plenty of twists and turns to make you keep guessing. The X-rated bits would have to be toned down a bit of course, but otherwise it would make an amazing ride!

Great stories. Very enjoyable, just one thing I noticed: Stanley/Harry doesn’t pass on Wild Magic when in his human form, yet Officer Mary is changed while he was in his human form.

Whoops. No big deal.

Another great story!!!!!!!!! 5 stars all the way!!!

@Anonymous: Great stories...

.

Stanley didn't pass on wild magic when in his human form, but Henry does. Stanley became human when twisting the ring. He can't use that anymore because of the curse, so the Fae made him a glamor instead.

.

Henry uses a glamor now which means he is ALWAYS a Satyr, 24/7, which means he can pass wild magic all the time. Baba Yaga's spell actually made him human for most of the time, but a glamor only changes his appearance, he is always the Satyr underneath.

As im sure this tale will continue in such quality, extra terrestrial or ital quality, i ill print it made a hardcover and will exchange some famous bestseller riders to make space for this ..... Hope this will explain how insane fabulous this tale is

Thank you for sharing

Ten stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🦄👿🍀

You are doing somethings, so funny that people are not picking up on. The name of the pilots that got lost was Major Tom. They kept referring to the person he was speaking to as controller. If you think about it, another way of saying this is “grounds control to Major Tom“.

You have been quoting, famous movies, or songs throughout this entire story, and I laugh every time I see one!

Well done! Just another way that you are showing your artistic virtuosity to your storytelling.

Sincerely

Daniel

Wonderful! ... and I too caught the Major Tom reference, very cute, ... my only nit-pick would be the way I became lost and had to regroup a bit when some things were left unexplained or just glossed over, like the way Henry can pass on the wild magic seems to alter from oral to any form of contact, ... but it was my fault for making false assumptions, ... I had to rethink at that point, ... oh well, outstanding tale, I am riveted! ;-) TTFN

I can understand, this was only Part 1, but it was of considerable length and complexity, still it leaves wide open the Q of the Glass Man, the Northern Lights, the wandering USAF pilot(s)?, the numbers of folks getting killed, whether by Fae hit teams, accidents, or VRL security. Is Mary another member of a Hidden Race? Will she be promoted to Detective? How many more Lycanthrope Weremembers will we meet besides the pack of wolves and an occasional panther? Will Roger ever get his comeuppance?

Your story telling is great, but your writing is often confused by erroneous auto-misspellings, which in the theoretically simplistic matter of giving us a 'he' instead of 'she' totally confuses the storyline as to who said what to whom. And the extremely weak punctuation of a ten-month story construction should definitely be given to an editor for a couple days' work.

@ nighthawk22204adnauseum.

LMAO @ U TWAT

Before you run around with your pants in a knot, Ohhh woe is me the grammar is !!!!!

The confusion the utter chaos in my mind.

It’s obvious you’ve never heard read or " listened " to any Story, Lore, or Song pertaining to the wee folk.

Take a pinch of salt, a slice of lemon and kiss a rose….relax.

Id recommend the book fiction but gives an honest account of the sub-genre and the

The Fairie Tale. By raymond e fiest

He's a typical "I'm a good person" MC a fucking pussy.

But overall pretty solid story ngl with very complex world-building

Boosting the rating for this story up to the highest score possible, 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thanks BRS, you're the BEST!

Good story

This chapter/story was all "two's" Too long, too complex, too many viewpoints, too many confusing plot lines and too many damn characters. Not up to the level of your better work for sure. 3*

OK. This is starting to get like a very bad horror flick. Six or eight different groups out to get Henry so, I know, let’s leave him the fuck alone, unprotected. Then maybe we’ll all go to Freddy Krueger’s house and SPLIT UP…because that never ends badly.

Started out so good.

You've got a 24 yr old boy/man that spends at least part of each day... crying. I'm beginning to think he may also be mentally retarded, high functioning to be sure, but well below avg intelligence. Still, 5 stars.

Fantastic, amazing tales.