All Comments on 'Savage Hearts'

This was exhausting to read. I felt as if I was reading a text book instead of a story. What's with all the black space.

If you had developed your characters, taken the time to write a long piece, you could have written something called dialogue instead of all that narative.

In addition to the earlier comment, I must say the story is rather dry and devoid of any development. It was a lazy slapstick job. The author shouldstickto reading stories and watching videos. He should not quit his day job either.

Not a bad start, but as others noted a little dry and mechnical. Expand on the character's past to give a better look into his dark sadistic soul. In fact I'd say this could develop into a full blown multi-chapter about the 'birth' of a BDSM rapist. If this was a true story I'd be concerned with the level of anger demonstrated toward women, almost to the point of going too far with a victim. Keep working on it.

At the risk of playing devil's advocate on this one, I must confess that I think there's plenty in this story worth praising. Particularly, the authentic voice of your narrator: his rage, his hunger, his calculated attack, and attempt (albeit misguided) to reconcile his sense of loneliness. While not without flaws, you give it a decent run.

I admire any author/writer who's willing to push the envelope on their writing, so I can respect where you are coming from. The thing I disliked the most, however, was you naming the chick "Fifi." I instantly though of a poodle and couldn't get the image of you fucking a dog out of my head.

The guy seemed so sure of himself, but the little girl wound up getting what she wanted in the end. Thanks for the well written and fast reading post.

I hate rapists, whether real or imaginary. Any man who is, makes no grades with me. Try again, but with more consideration for the effect your writing has on other men, and teens who happen to read your writing.

Some aspects, writing-wise I wasn't so fond of... I also don't know that, even in a set up like that, that the woman would be entirely just letting it happen if she wanted it to be more of a "rape" type of thing.

None the less, I thought it was a pretty good read, and liked the extended thoughts by the narrator. I am one of those girls who is rather turned on by rape scenarios --the planned and "in control" ones. I've been in both the good rape scenario and bad, so I do know there is a difference....but anyways, I especially liked the end after all the lust and physical aspect that they spent V-day together and not alone.

Hey, don't care what others think, but this story gave me a bit of a buzzz down, uhrm, there. Some might think it vanilla, but take it from a practising sadist - a rape fetish does not necessarily have to encompass hate or even a dislike for the other person involved. Happily married couples frequently indulge and are the better for it. Lust and an understanding of 'sex and submission' would be first and foremost in my description when it comes to this type of role-play. The writer is more than nestled in his accuracy when describing a suitable scenario for a short story in this context.