All Comments on 'Save Maddie's Cherry for Me'

There must be a future ceremony where she is impregnated by her Daddy and follow-up ones as her belly swells.

Change your justification to Left. Too awkward to read so skipped to here.

Hot story with lots of opportunities to expand

...in the Church of the Kinky Mind. As someone who went to Catholic Church (and school) for the first 18 years of my life, I can't say I ever experienced that type of "salvation". But I do confess to having spent too much time gazing at the female form with unholy thoughts in my head, and the "spirit" rising between my legs. :)

While this story could be considered sacrilegious (among other things), I thought it was unbelievable hot. It did indeed suck me through the divine portal of eroticism, directly to the blessed alter of incestuous delights. Well done, naughty Chloe.

That was a glitch that snuck in. Editing and resubmitting - that was urkkkk

Definitely want to read about her losing her anal cherry, being impregnated by her dad, and raising the next generation to me goid sluts

Ms Tzang,

Hi Chloe,

You were right, it was so worth the wait.

Biggest problem is the time and effort you put into your stories and they flash past my eyes so quickly. But then again they now live in my memory and some everyday event brings a word, sentence, paragraph or the whole theme flooding back.

Again, all I can do is hit 5 stars and thank you, which doesn't seem enough.

Terry

Solid writing and the whole church ceremony thing was pretty interesting. Comparing this against Save the Last Dance..., I found Aimee's story more compelling (for me). I guess I didn't really find it as arousing all the males sharing Maddie like that. I recognize that you can't have it both ways---she can't be in this Order *AND* be exclusive with just her Dad...but personally for me...it dampened my arousal. Would have preferred Maddie's character be more of a Daddy's girl --- but I totally understand why you would want to explore a different storyline (no need to rewrite Save the Last Dance again...).

One of my fetishes is incest pregnancies, and unfortunately, with all these MMMMMMF interaction, Kurt's chances just got a lot slimmer :-) . At least Mimi's Dad wisely gave him and his daughter some couples time before sharing her with the whole lot.

That pervert Father Auyeung also seemed to inject himself WAY too often into the thick of every action.

Would have preferred it if it was just between Kurt, Maddie, Aimee, and Jim.

Anyway, I still liked it... but it would probably go in my calibre library with a rating of 3 / 5. I'd rate Daddy's Hands, Save the Last Dance, September Blue as 5 / 5.

Thanks for writing. I really appreciate all that you do.

The center justification didn't bother me, thought it was you flexing your stylistic muscles again.

Very good, once again. You have a fervent imagination combined with excellent wordsmithing.

Not Catholic, but kept waiting for the punishment for sacrilege to fall upon all of us.

Hi Ms.Tzang,

I love this story. The thoughts and emotions of these characters are always amazing. I hope you do continue with your Frost Ball Story line. I just love that story along with the plot. I know that you put a lot of effort into each one of your stories. That the time it takes to write them is tedious.

Thanks,

-S

Heads down in the next chapter of Jenny Park’s First Frosh Ball now, and it’s NEVER tedious. I love writing! I love writing erotica! It’s such fun😺 - what can I say 🤷🏻‍♀️. Just keep encouraging me with the lovely comments and thank you everyone 🥰

Awsome fucking story ive never orgasamed so many times to one story before wow

Loved the story line, but there are so many continuity errors it really bugs.

Please invest in an editor, it will drive your story telling to gold standard.

I'm not into the incest genre or liking the church angle. But the descriptions are so good with the virginity loss told from the first person, it's still a great read for me.

It was an interesting story arc. A quick view at a perverts family life. Please take my criticisms without malice, because none is intended.

The style was a little odd. Two steps forward, one step back. It felt like you were drawing it out only for the word count.

The story has many avenues if it continues in the future, and I hope you do continue it. Give the story some flesh and bones. It's time to learn about the characters.

and for gods sake, let someone proofread it. My OCD almost caused me a panic attack.

xiexie

Pure raw sex. Certainly in the proper category. It appears that Chinese men can come more times in an evening then Caucasian men.

Being you are in my top three of Literotica authors, this was superb! Love, love LOVE your descriptions of the sex and everything involved with it!

Chloe,

Thank you for a very good read... You had just the right amount of detail to allow the imagination to run with it. I would love to meet someone like Maddie, Aimee or Mimi.

Talk about hot!

Thank you for taking the time to share your story and your imagination. I gave you five stars because it was better than a four, but because of the mistakes it shouldn't really have been a five.

The following I write in hope it will help with your future output. This story would have been truly amazing if it had been heavily edited. There was far too much repetition and the priest's expositions were too long. It got to the point that when his dialogue started I skipped to the next paragraph.

The final scene in the chapel should have been shorter - there's only so many times I can read how stretched she was before I lose interest.

What I really enjoyed was the setup and the transition stages of the story. You wrote Maddie's character very well and I wanted to read more about her journey into womanhood. More of her thoughts and less of her feelings would have made this a Literotica classic.

Absolutely loved the story! Great work, not sure if you plan to continue this storyline or not, but I would be very interested in reading more. The main advice I would give you is to try and enlist a proofreader to catch the little errors that can be speed bumps to the reader in the moment.

There were some things that were repetitious but it didn’t take me out of it—in fact, it kind of fit the “ritual” scheme of things. Though I say this isolated to just this story and not your other works (yet), so I don’t know if it was something deployed for this as a motif or if it is a tendency for your writing as a whole.

Again, thank you for sharing this wonderfully dirty story. I will be looking into more of your work in the future!

I enjoyed this story. One of the very best I have read on the site. It has a story line that flowed well with out any wild course changes. Characters we can identify with, and lots of the "erotica" part as well.

Chloe has an imaginative mind. I wonder how much is her desire to be used like Maddie and Mimi are used in the story.

so hot, but would love to have had the girls fuck each other intimately afterwards.

It's great, please add more chapters to it, Maddie could do Porn Films, end up as a stripper, & attend Church Parties etc.

Good story.

I enjoyed the earlier story of Aimee far more. A coming of age story for a bereft family. This one left me put off by the excessive tearing down of rituals of sacrifice of the maidens and the patriarchal lechery of so many fathers. Then when you went into ball-gags and leather harnesses, I realized I couldn't go with the SM stuff. It was no longer uplifting but more like the writing of those 50 year old men indulging in lechery rather than loving. Sorry, but I think that was too derogatory of these beautiful young women.

Hi Chloe. Five stars. I would give it ten if I could. I am new to Literotica as both a reader and a author. You are by far the best writer I have come across here. Your stories are brilliantly conceived, well executed in all areas and your writing style is inventive, daring, and frequently fascinating (e.g. stream of consciousness). Plus I am really glad to find stories written by women. It helps give me a better understanding of female sexuality. And hot, oh so hot. Plus I love touches like the brilliant satire of a certain sexually-repressive church in this story. Of course, I may be biased because I am a victim of yellow fever myself. The love of my life lives in China where I worked for many years and whom I have not been able to see for three years because of covid. My story Expressions of Love is a tribute to and memoir of her loving sexuality (though somewhat de-Chinese-ified for Literotica).

As a writer I would like to ask you a question regarding your use of copyrighted song lyrics. I am currently writing a story in which I want to include brief excerpts of some romantic ballads. You do this quite often. Have you determined that there are no copyright infringement issues doing so? I’ve read about Fair Use but still worry about a copyright owner bringing an unjustified action because it didn’t like the lyrics being used in erotic literature.

In any event, keep up the good work. I look forward to reading all of your stories, if I live long enough. ; > )

And another one of your stories goes into my favorites list. I love all your stuff.

Don't like dad's swapping their kids to friends or whatever.

This is the best of Lit erotica. Remins me of all the opportunites I have past up.

I'm sorry. Lots of great writing. Way too much oppression for me. It got kinda gross and sad.