Saving Me From Helen

"Come on baby, we have some catching up to do."

I just could not believe the sexual appetite of that woman. She was always ready, always after me to do it, "just one more time baby, please?" I got to thinking I'd like to see her with the two guys who had watched us and maybe even a half dozen more just to see if she had a limit. I was in hog heaven; a great looking woman was fucking my brains out and giving me all the sex I could handle and I didn't even have to leave the house to get it.

But something was missing and that something was Helen.

I missed her smile, I missed sitting and holding here and being held by her and I missed all of those little things that you never seem to notice at the time. The way she would reach over and move a stray lock of hair on my forehead, smile, look into my eyes and tell me she loved me. I missed the way she would rub her foot on my ankle when we were sitting and watching TV or talking; the way she would lay her head on my chest and trace little patterns on my stomach with her fingernails after we'd made love. I missed the way that she could never seem to be in a room with me without having to touch me in some way. I just flat assed missed her.

It was the day after my dad left on his trip and it was mom's week to open the restaurant in the morning. She woke me with a blow job, we had a spirited session on my bed and then she had showered, dressed and gone to work. I didn't need to be to work until two so I was lying in bed relaxing in that warm after glow you get after good sex. The doorbell rang and I looked over at the clock and saw it was ten after nine in the morning. I put on a robe and went to answer the door. It was Helen's aunt. As soon as the door was opened she pushed her way past me saying, "I need to talk to you boy." I debated just going on outside and getting in my car and going for a drive until she got tired of waiting and left, but curiosity finally got the best of me and I closed the door and followed her into the living room. She cut right to the chase.

"Why did you break that poor girls heart? She hasn't slept and barely eats a bite and her eyes are staying red from crying all the time. How in the name of our Lord could you do that to her?"

"Apparently she has told you what I did, but did she tell you why?"

"She did and it don't matter none. You were the first good thing to ever happen to that poor child and she gave you her heart and you stomped on it. I just wanted to come over here, look you in the eye and tell you what a rotten bastard you are and that I hope that you rot in hell."

And with that she stomped out of the house, got in her car and drove away. What a nice way to start the day I thought, but it wasn't over yet. I was just leaving for work when the phone rang and it was Helen's cousin Rocs.

"Any chance we can get together for a talk?"

"If it is going to be more fire and brimstone like I just got from your mother no thanks.'

"Mom can get a little excited at times, but no, I just need to talk."

I made arrangements to meet her after work at a bar not too far from where I work.

She was sitting in a booth when I got there. We exchanged pleasantries and then I said, "What's this about Rocs?"

"You're not stupid, you know it is about Helen."

"Thank you, but I've already gotten the "You are a rotten bastard" speech from your mother."

"Yeah, well like I said, mom does get a little carried away sometimes. I'm not here to call you names. I just wanted to know why you did what you did to Helen. There has to be more to it than what she is saying."

"What is she saying?"

"That you got upset because she was kissing some guy."

"That's it?"

"She said a guy drove her home from work one night and you saw here kissing him and the next day you broke up with her."

"Well, you are right, there is a little bit more to the story than that" and I proceeded to lay it all out for her. "So, there you have it. Putting the hotel history together with the steamy make out session I watched for over half an hour gave me the picture of a girl that I decided wasn't right for me."

She looked at me silently for a bit and then, "Has Helen ever told you about what life was like in the hollows of West Virginia and what she had to look forward to there?"

I shook my head no.

"First, there is the abject poverty, a poverty so pervasive that it makes the slums of Detroit look like the Promised Land. Next is the culture. Most girls that live back in those hollows have lost their virginity before they even reach puberty and it has normally been taken by a family member - father, brother, uncle or cousin - and most of them end up pregnant because of it. It is a world where first cousins marry and families inter-breed and it isn't uncommon for a girl to reach her eighteenth birthday with four or five kids clutching at the hem of her skirt. Helen was lucky. Her father is a God fearing man who also happens to be big and mean and he put out the word that he would kill any man who touched her and everyone who heard him knew that he meant it. But even with an over protective father to keep her from harm it was a place she knew she had to get away from.

"I'm going to give you the worst. She got out by sneaking out behind her father's back and giving herslf to men for money. As soon as she had enough for a bus ticket she ran. I'm not surprised to hear about the Lafayette. She sold her body to save herself so what was one more time? She is a survivor and she will do whatever she has to do keep herself going. I do know that she hasn't been with any man other than you since the day she came to live with mom and me. As for the guy she necked with? I don't know, but I can make a pretty good guess. No girl wants to be standing alone at a bus stop in Detroit at one in the morning if she can help it. If this guy kept giving her a ride home and wanted to keep doing it she was certainly going to let him.

"I'm not stupid and neither are you. We both know what he was after - he wanted to get between her legs - and she knew that too. But how to keep getting rides without giving up what he was after? She had to lead him on a little at a time, give him a little something to keep him coming around until she had enough money saved up to buy her a car. So she necked with him and I wouldn't be a bit surprised to find out that she didn't slap him when he tried to cop a feel, but he was never going to hit pay dirt. He didn't know it, but he never had a chance in hell of getting into her pants. Helen's heart, body and soul belonged to you.

"I can't even count the number of times we sat on my bed and talked the night away and it was mostly about you and how wonderful you were and how God must really love her to have sent her to you. She really believes that. She is certain that God sent her to Detroit and to that restaurant looking for a job for the specific purpose of getting the two of you together. I hate laying the burden on you, but you destroyed that girl."

"If her necking session was so innocent or if it was like you said why didn't she tell me?"

"You would have listened? She knew it was a lost cause when you threw the hotel at her at the same time you threw the necking at her. Helen has a lot of pride and it will not let her beg, or plead for forgiveness. She has survivor's traits - she is strong willed and she will face what gets thrown at her, learn from it and move on. She will eventually get over you, but it will take a long, long time and leave a lot of scars."

She finished her drink and got up.

"That's it? You just wanted to ask a couple of questions?"

"What did you expect, that I was here to plead her case? Sorry, I learned a long time ago not to get involved in other people's problems. I just wanted to know how something so good could go totally to shit in such a short time. You let the best thing that ever happened to you get away and I just hope for your sake that the rest of your life isn't going to be as fucked up."

After Rocs was gone I sat in the bar and drank several more beers and thought about what she'd said, what Helen had done, what I had done and mostly what my thoughts about her had been. By the time last call came around I had boiled it all down to three things: -Could I crawl back to her -Would she take me back and -What was my mother going to say

Mom was waiting up for me when I got home.

"Where have you been? I've been keeping something warm for you."

"Stopped for a beer or two after work."

"Well come on baby, I need to get up early to go to work."

"You go ahead and go on to bed mom. I'm not ready and I've got some things on my mind that I have to work through."

"You turning me down mister? After I've waited up for you? I don't think so. When we are done and I am sleeping you can lie there in bed and work through whatever for as long as you want."

"Has anyone lately told you that you are an insatiable slut?"

"No, and you shouldn't talk to me like that; after all, I am your mother. Now come along" and she took my hand and pulled me along behind her to the bedroom. For someone who wanted to get some sleep before getting up to go to work she sure wasn't in any hurry to quit. Three times, with a blow job between each of the first two and she still wanted me to get up again. I pushed her away and told her to get some rest.

"I don't want you so tired that you spill hot coffee in some poor guys lap."

She grumbled, but she got out of my bed and went to her bedroom.

Mom had gotten in the habit of waking me up in the morning with a blow job, but I was still awake and staring at the ceiling when she came into my room.

"Haven't you been to sleep?"

"No, no I haven't."

"Just what is this weighty problem that has you so concerned?"

"You won't like it."

"But from the way you just said that I gather that it is something I'm going to eventually have to know so out with it."

I told her about the visit from Helen's aunt, my talk with Rocs and about all the thoughts I'd been having. She just looked at me without saying a word until I was finished.

"Well baby, I won't say that I like it or that I'm happy about it, but I can understand it. Little things like those you mentioned are just like the feelings I have for your father. I had hoped that I could screw the memory of Helen out of you, but I guess that I didn't."

"Oh be honest mom. You just used Helen as an excuse. I saw the way you looked at those two guys who watched us. More than anything you wanted them in the car and if I hadn't been there it probably would have happened. You are hitting your sexual peak and dad is never home. I'm betting you were on the very edge of starting to go out looking when the Helen thing came along and gave you an excuse. 'What better way to get what I need with someone from someone who absolutely has to keep his mouth shut about it." Am I right?"

"Can't put nothing over on you, can I?"

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I honestly don't know."

"I'm going to have to go out and hit the bars after all huh?"

"No way. Give up my insatiable slut? Not a chance, at least not until I'm married."

"Hey baby, I won't hold that against you. They say that married men make the best lovers. How about showing me what you got before I have to go to work."

I asked the hostess to seat me in Helen's section and I saw her raise an eyebrow. Every woman in the place probably knew what an asshole I'd been by now. When Helen came to wait on the table and saw that it was me she said, "Oh, it's you. I'll get you another waitress" and she started to walk away.

"No, I don't want another waitress, I asked for your section."

"Why?"

"Look Helen, I've never had to crawl before so I don't know how. Can you help me out here?"

"Why should I?"

I was at a loss as how to answer that. This damned sure wasn't the girl who Rocs and her Aunt Ada said cried herself to sleep every night. I don't know what I had expected when I came into the restaurant, but it sure wasn't the cold, detached indifference that I was getting. I stared at her for several seconds and then said, "You're right, why should you. I'll have coffee and the special."

She took the order, wrote it down on her pad and left me sitting there wondering why I had even bothered. When she returned with my meal she set it down in front of me without a word and went to wait on other customers. I ate my meal, dropped enough money on the table to cover the tab and a tip and then I got up and left the restaurant. Helen was standing next to my car when I got to the parking lot. I stopped and looked at her and waited to see what she was going to do.

"If you want to talk you can meet me at my aunts when I get off work."

"Why don't I just pick you up?"

I already have a ride and no way to get in touch with him to cancel."

"Oh. Should I bother?"

"That's strictly up to you" and she went back into the restaurant.

I was sitting in my car across the street from Helen's aunt's house when she pulled up. Her ride was the same guy she had been necking with. They sat in his car and talked for almost five minutes before they leaned together and kissed. It was a long kiss and I was reaching for the ignition key to start the car and drive off when Helen got out of the car and came over and got in mine. She cut right to it.

"So, what's with this crawl nonsense?"

"Just that I guess - nonsense. I've spent the last several days realizing that I love you, want to be with you and all the rest of that bullshit. After being yelled at by your aunt and talking to your cousin Rocs they left me with the impression that you felt the same way so I came to crawl and beg only to find out that your cousin and your aunt were obviously mistaken. It is evident from what I just saw that I was quickly replaced. Sorry to have wasted your time."

I started the car and waited for her to get out, but she just sat there looking at me and then she reached over and turned the ignition off.

"You haven't been replaced because you can't be replaced. You are my other half, the yin to my yang. When you left me you left a hole in my soul that can never be filled by someone else, but one of my many faults is that I am brutally honest - I won't lie to anyone about anything and I certainly won't lie to you. That little display in Doug's car was for your benefit although Doug doesn't know that. You say that you came crawling, but what you don't realize is that you just might not want me anymore once you know the truth. You hurt me when you walked away from me. I cried my heart out for two days and then I told myself to stop with the self pity, to suck it up and get on with my life.

"But I was angry and when I'm angry I strike out. You didn't want me any more because to you I was a whore so okay, fuck you, and I'll be a whore and see that it gets back to you. Three days ago I fucked Doug's brains out and last night I gave him a blow job in the restaurant parking lot. Doug is a loud mouthed braggart and I knew he would tell every one and that it would get back to you. Just to make sure it got back to you I sucked his cock in the parking lot. Enough people knew about it so it was a sure bet that it would get to your mother and through her to you. That was my way of putting you out of my thoughts and out of my life. You would hear about it, be disgusted and wouldn't ever come into the restaurant any more as long as I worked there. I would never have to worry about seeing you again.

"Doug doesn't mean shit to me; all he was was a stick to poke you in the eye with. So, there you are."

Well this was certainly a different kettle of fish. Catching her necking hot and heavy with some guy was a whole lot different than knowing g that she was sucking and fucking some other guy, but as I saw her reach for the door handle I realized that it didn't mean any more than the guys in the hotel. We weren't married and what she did after we took our vows is all that would matter.

"Where are you going?"

"Getting out of your car. I'm sure that the odor of whore is offensive to you."

"Did you take money for fucking him?"

"No, of course not."

Then you aren't a whore. A slut maybe, and an easy piece of ass from Doug's perspective, but not a whore. It will probably cause me some problems when Doug tells all and guys start swarming around my wife looking to get laid or get a quick parking lot blow job, but I'll just have to deal with it."

"What are you saying?"

"Just what you have already said; I'm the yin to your yang. We were meant to be. So, unless you fell in love with Doug's cock and don't want me around any more, it is just one of life's problems that we will have to work through."

"You really mean that?"

"I do."

And then she was crying and I was holding her.

"There is one major problem that you will have to face on your own."

"What's that baby?"

"Well, you still work with my mother and now that we are back together you will have to face her every day knowing that she knows you give out parking lot blow jobs."

"All I can say to that is "Fuck her!"

And for some reason I had to smile at that.