Screwed by Wall Street Pt. 02

"Gloria, you are VP-Public Relations, and responsible for the Foundation's leasing activities. Nail down the loose ends at the hotel, start on the property listings for something a rich Austrian male would rent on Long Island, and help Joan extricate herself from the apartment. Take over the media hassle from Pat. And tell me what I need to do to keep you out of trouble at school."

"Roy, you are VP-Plans and Strategy. Try to make sense out of what I said at the beach, and scout the relevant organizations. Find a lawyer we can trust. Pat may have some leads. Don't show your entire hand, say you are exploring options for a new charitable foundation to be funded by an inheritance."

"Tony, you are VP-Global Affairs, which is a cover for your security work. Find one of your buddies who can be my shadow for at least a week. See if $1000 a day will keep me alive and his hands out of my underwear. He probably should be armed, since we don't know who is behind the surveillance in the apartment."

Pat was standing behind my chair, wielding a brush. "It's sure nice to have the old intense Joan back once in a while." She bent and kissed my ear.

I rose, "It bugs me that we can't be seen together in Manhattan, at least for now. Is this a safe haven?"

I looked at Tony, "Get us a couple of sets of anonymous cell phones. Everyone use their regular phones as you normally do, but don't discuss our new scheme on the phone. When Joan leaves town, the old phones disappear too."

I grabbed Gloria and Pat, "Come with me."

They helped me make the bed, asking if the new foundation paid for maid service.

"Lie down there, close your eyes, and shut up." I sat at the foot of the bed and massaged their feet. "You are going to be angry with me in a minute, but I promise to make it up to you later. We need a fake Joan, and a fake friend of Joan's, female, to take a trip to the South Pacific. All expenses paid for three weeks, provided they maintain the disguise and don't get arrested for public sex or something like that. Do you know any likely suspects?"

"Likely suspects?!" they screamed, looking daggers at me.

"I know, this is terrible. But what about Mallorca in the fall? Or the Amalfi coast?"

They tried to snatch their feet back, but I hung on tight. "Admit it. We need to do something like this to get rid of the media and other lowlifes."

After a long silence, they giggled and attacked. Gloria said, "There is a tall willowy black girl in my class who works so damn hard it makes me cry. She will be the perfect PA for Joan on this trip."

Pat smiled and said, "My cousin Joan just finished college and is looking for a job until grad school starts in the fall. She has a mountain of student loan debt, and if we paid some of that off, she would do almost anything for us."

"My god, a real Joan. The two of you take them to lunch somewhere out of the way and describe the plan in general terms. Don't mention my name yet. Do tell them there is loan repayment as part of the package. I rely on the two of you to decide how much. If it hangs together after the lunch, tell them we will be in touch and get ready to leave within ten days."

Gloria sat on my thighs, folded up my dress and pounded my ass. "Damn, you have good ideas. I am going to beat you black and blue if that trip in the fall doesn't happen."

Pat and I went to the apartment to play act one of our sessions. Tony escorted us and said his friend Johnny K would take over duty when we got to the building, while Tony wrapped up some loose ends.

Johnny K was 6-1, 220 and all muscle. We entered the elevator and I asked Tony to stop it between floors.

"Johnny, this week you are escorting a rich bitch who just got canned from her CEO job and is mad at the world. A conceited rich bitch who can't understand what happened. You are from an unnamed security service, serving as her bodyguard, and you address her as 'Yes, Miss, and No, Miss.' My apartment has been planted with cameras and maybe mics, which we only discovered the other day. Inside, it is strictly according to the script. Think you can handle a week of that? Tony is supposed to keep your wallet happy."

He smiled, looking down at me, "Yes, Miss."

I laughed and kissed him full on the lips. "By the way, whoever is doing this may try some rough stuff. Make sure you are prepared and that your arrangement with Tony covers combat pay. Also, before we get off the elevator, tell me a new name to call you."

"Yes, Miss. You may call me Clyde."

"Clyde, when this is over, maybe you and I can have a date. Or would I be poaching?"

His laugh was deep and hearty. "You are something else, woman. I don't understand about poaching."

Tony punched my arm with a smile and went back down in the elevator. When we were in the apartment, I said in my old Joan voice, "Clyde, please check the whole apartment, and then perhaps you could make everyone coffee. The maid has terminated, but there should be the makings in the kitchen."

Pat and I spent thirty minutes going over the things we were used to going over, adding the parts about being out of my old office last Friday, and agreeing with each other that we would abandon the apartment for a hotel when the lease was up at the end of the week. I asked Clyde to find a cab and buzz us when he was ready.

It was an act, but the relief at winding down the ugly finish of Calabrese Trucking was genuine. I wondered how we were going to identify the people spying on us, and who was behind them.

In the cab, I squeezed Clyde's enormous thigh and said, "Thank you, that went well. You and I will sleep there two or three nights this week, and then I am gone from that place forever."

Pat reached across and pounded his thigh, "Clyde, that doesn't mean in her bed. I may have to come along as chaperone."

He took both of our hands between his and said, "I am already enjoying this. Tony didn't tell me there were nice ladies involved. Does Clyde's girlfriend get to slip into his bedroom? Tony can vouch for her."

Pat hesitated for a moment, and then launched into a thin story about how obnoxious the media were and that Joan Middleton needed a new identity.

"Clyde, do you know any German?"

"Some. My grandmother grew up in Poland and learned German as a child. She taught me."

Pat immediately shifted to German, explaining how Erica had just arrived for a yearlong visit financed by her rich father. She rattled on until Clyde reached over and pushed her head in my lap. "Some, Pat!"

I squeezed him harder and asked, "What is your real birth name?"

"Richard Wyzinski. My father was killed in the first Gulf war and my mom's black relatives took us in. That's where the Johnny K comes from. My dad's Polish relatives are in Watertown. I used to spend summers there." He looked uncomfortable.

"What did your grandmother call you?"

"Richard. Pronounced with a hard k sound."

"When you don't need to be Clyde, can we call you Rickard?"

"That would be nice. Caroline will thank you. She hates Johnny K."

"Can the two of you join us for dinner tonight? At Roy and Gloria's."

He looked at me with surprise. "You don't need to do that for a bodyguard."

I dug my fingers into Pat's shoulders and got a nice moan back. "Pat and I are onto you, Clyde. You went to a good college someplace. How come Tony snagged you for this assignment?"

Pat sat up. "Wait. Let's invite them both for lunch. At Agatha's."

The cab was pulling up at the clothing shop run by Gloria's aunt. When we went in, Aunt Eartha exclaimed, "They're here! And will you look at him. My god..."

The dozen women in the store seemed paralyzed by the sexy tough bulk of Clyde. Erica spoke up in accented English and asked him to be inconspicuous. Pat whispered to him to call Caroline.

Pat explained to Eartha, with a wink, "Erica needs several new outfits that will look good in Manhattan. Look good eating out and going to clubs."

We were escorted to a private area in the back and Pat stripped me of dark glasses, wig, and clothes.

"Well, look at this. Erica, haven't I seen you on TV? "

She went on, in a low voice, "Gloria told me. She said you were a visitor wanting to be social but not slutty."

I leaned over and whispered, "Gloria has taken charge of my sex life. I'm a different person! But let's not make Erica look like she wants to go to bed with every guy she meets."

Eartha quickly had several armloads of clothes deposited in the room. She and Pat looked at me in my bra and panties, discussing my assets.

"A little light on top. Could use a little more beef in the butt. Shoulders are too muscular..."

I thought of the thousands of dollars that went into the gym sculpting of my body. Aargh.

Four outfits and three sets of fancy lingerie later, with fashion sneakers, flats and heels to match, they called in Clyde for an opinion.

In very rusty German, he said, "Mein Gott," and added some admiring words, mostly in the wrong gender. We laughed and hugged him. "Clyde! You are wonderful. Come. It's time for lunch."

Pat surprised Eartha by insisting on a bill, and peeling off hundreds to cover it, and a nice tip. That generated a brilliant smile and a pat on the rump for me. "Please come back. Your wardrobe is not finished!"

Agatha's was a Harlem neighborhood restaurant on 135th street with great food. The patrons worked to keep the reputation from spreading and attracting tourists and swells from the financial district. Clyde was greeted as Johnny K with a hug and a smile from Agatha. "You big hunk, what are you doing with these nice ladies?"

Pat and I jumped in, saying Johnny was our guide to New York. Agatha gave Clyde the evil eye and led us to the rear table we had requested. Clyde was jittery, worrying about Caroline, and also about his clients being recognized. In a few minutes, a tallish woman with a slender athletic build entered and looked around. Clyde was hard to miss and she headed our way, all smiles.

We were introduced and she said, "Rickard said this was urgent and I could speak German!"

Caroline was a dancer with the New York City Opera before it folded and had studied in Berlin when her father was stationed there. In moments, three of us were chattering away in Deutsch and Rickard was looking unhappy. "Lina, you are leaving me in the dust," he complained.

"It's only girl talk," she responded with a smile and a squeeze of his enormous hand. One look and you knew he had fallen hard for this extraordinary woman. I leaned over and whispered to Pat, "I think we are recruiting. Ask them to dinner." I excused myself to the ladies.

When I returned, Caroline was looking pleased at sudden new friends. Little did she know.

Pat and I looked at each other, and noticed Clyde was grinning. Too many names floating around. I decided on the direct approach. "Caroline, your boyfriend is already proving he is a perfect bodyguard. He is grinning at us because the story is complicated. All will be explained at dinner. For now, call me Erica and speak German with me. Viennese German."

She looked at me, shocked, and burst into laughter. "Oh my god, a young wench from Vienna looking for trouble." She checked out the new clothes and added, "That outfit will get you all the trouble you can handle. I suppose Rickard is supposed to guard your virtue too?"

I slumped in my chair and covered my eyes as they laughed. I stared at Clyde and said, "Tell her your bodyguard name."

He leaned over and whispered in her ear. She looked up with a frown. "I should have known, you big oaf." Her arm arced around his neck followed by a kiss on the cheek. They were a couple for sure.

Lunch plates were served and we dug in. Not real soul food, but I'd settle for Agatha's pulled pork barbeque sandwich any day. Pat started the conversation, "I'm a little embarrassed to say this, but when we discovered our big bruiser of a bodyguard was seriously bright and a college grad, we immediately started to adjust our plans. We are even happier to meet you, Caroline, with your terrific body and smarts. Erica and her friends are forming a new organization and searching for helpers. We would like to discuss specifics this evening over dinner, if that is agreeable."

Caroline laughed, "Starving dancers will take a free meal any day. Especially with mysterious people like you, who have hired Clyde at a fancy fee to keep little Miss Erica safe." She poked a pink tip of tongue at me.

The rest of the meal was relaxed and we walked out with a bounce to our step. Caroline had to run to a rehearsal. Pat said she needed to check in with her helpers and also get some banking matters dealt with. She nudged my bodyguard, "Clyde, that's some woman you are romancing. We are impressed."

Walking immediately behind us, the effect on passersby was interesting. The looks suggested confusion over whether the big man was with us, or after us. When one old lady stopped in her tracks, I smiled and took Clyde's hands in mine. As we passed, I heard, "I'll be damned."

Clyde said in a low voice, "This is fun but too conspicuous. We will be remembered. I'll hail a taxi."

We dropped Pat off and the driver asked where Clyde and I wanted to go. I gave him the address of the bugged apartment, and said to let us out a block north.

I put his arm through mine and walked slowly. "We are going to start packing up the apartment. Talk openly with me about moving to the hotel."

I squeezed his hand and asked, "If you got an attractive job offer tonight, could you accept?"

He squeezed back and responded, "Did anyone ever say you are an attractive ball of fire who can be very persuasive?"

"You are supposed to remember you are escorting a conceited rich bitch who is mad at the world."

"I don't work for those kinds of people."

I hesitated, and apologized. "Clyde, I am being stupid. Forgive me. The old Joan is going to disappear in two weeks. The new Joan, older and wiser and with a new name, is the person trying to recruit you."

His arm dropped around my shoulders. "Conditionally, I am open to suggestion, as long as it involves Caroline too. But you have to understand, my family spent the last seventy-five years being treated badly by the world. There has to be a real game plan that has a place for us. A place that has challenge and a decent amount of money."

I kissed his cheek and we walked into the building to find Tony on duty, smirking at us. "Clyde, how did you get to kisses from the client so fast?"

"Man, what are you doing still cooling your heels here?"

Tony looked uncomfortable. "The owner said there would be a bigger severance check if I worked a couple of shifts this week."

I lunged at him and kissed his cheek. "I love you both. Clyde and Caroline are coming to dinner."

"Damn, Clyde, she's got her hooks into you already."

I walked into the elevator with both of them laughing behind me.

Moving is ugly, no two ways about it. I asked Clyde to get on the phone with Tony and have boxes brought up.

A lot of old Joan was going to Goodwill. I made a circle of boxes and more or less segregated things. In the middle of the circle, an ever larger pile of discards grew.

"Clyde, when you are bought out, which is a euphemism for thrown out, there is a lot of trash left over."

He looked at me and smiled, "Nice trash. Do you mind if my aunt and her sisters visit? They look after an extended family with a lot of needs."

I walked over and hugged him. "Call them now. And keep me from crying, please. I thought I was successfully running the company my father built."

Clyde's aunt Cerise was a thirtyish ball of fire. The sisters were younger and the three of them fell on the discard pile with a vengeance. I guided Cerise quietly into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"There are bugs and cameras in the apartment. Don't say anything about the rest of your family or where you live. Take anything you want that isn't already in a box. Johnny will explain."

She kissed me full on and said, "You are an angel. We have to talk later."

By five-thirty, Cerise and sisters had departed with armloads of stuff in a van called by Tony. I called Pat. "There are about twenty boxes of salvage. It needs to go to temporary storage while I travel. Will you see to it, please?"

She answered briskly and said the two of us would be in the hotel the day after tomorrow. Nothing but PA efficiency in her voice. I had Clyde in the walkin wardrobe, punching him and smiling. He listened to no nonsense Pat and smiled back. As soon as we rang off, he lifted me under the arms as high as he could, and growled into my crotch.

"I'm sure glad you have a fine girlfriend, or I would be breaking all the bodyguard etiquette rules."

He kissed me, lightly and delicately, and said, "I think I am getting pre-sold on that offer you are going to make tonight."

I whispered, "Put me down before I'm dropping my panties."

I got us to the door and locked it, saying loudly, "Clyde, I have a dinner appointment with some old friends. Please take me to their place and then you are free until around ten. I'll give you a call to pick me up."

"Yes, Miss."

In the lobby, he was one step behind and signaling Tony for a taxi. My security chief was having a difficult time keeping a straight face. "Will you be back tonight, Miss Middleton?"

"Yes, Tony. I'll be moving to the hotel on Friday. It will be sad, leaving you and the rest of the staff."

"We will miss you."

Outside, Clyde was definitely in charge. Tony had us a taxi and Clyde got in after me with crisp directions to the driver. He named a bar two blocks from Roy and Pat's apartment.

We stood on the sidewalk and he said, "Bodyguards don't call taxis. Too hazardous. Do you need a drink or should we just go to the apartment?"

I took his arm in mine and started walking, checking with Pat to see where she was.

"I'm in our suite. Very nice. Almost ready. Dedicated Internet line goes in tomorrow. Roy is home, go ahead and I'll catch up."

I was clicking off as Clyde transferred me rapidly to the far inside of the sidewalk to give attention to two punks taking up space as they headed our way. One shrug of those shoulders and two young men were carefully easing by. "Watch where you hold those shivs, we don't need that act in our neighborhood."

"Yes sir, don't mean no harm."

As we resumed walking, Clyde said under his breath, "In this part of town, tough answers to tough."

I squeezed his arm and made sure his hip felt mine touching quickly. I said to him in German, slowly, "Erica appreciates your looking out for her. New York is a wonderful city, but dangerous also!"

He responded in German, "I followed Caroline to Vienna when we were first going out. Couldn't stand to let her out of my sight. She knew the ballet director and went to rehearsal. Came back with tickets for Idomeneo in the State Opera House. I was on cloud nine. When we got back to the hotel, she threw off her clothes and attacked me. Said if I was going to take her to cities with opera houses, and feed her well, she guessed she was my girlfriend."

"Clyde, you may find this hard to believe, but Joan Middleton never had a boyfriend. Here I am, walking down the street with a guy who is not my boyfriend, but it sure is nice holding on to your arm."

"Tony filled me in about Gloria and Pat doing a makeover on you."

"The old Joan is disappearing. Did you know that the old Joan, or at least someone with her passport, is leaving for Tahiti next week?"

"What about someone who is holding my arm?"

We were climbing the stairs of Pat and Roy's place and I laughed gaily, "That is why you and Caroline are coming to dinner! To find out."

Chapter 6 - Clyde and Caroline are the new hires

Gloria was in the kitchen working on dinner when we arrived. "Hi, this is going in the oven in a minute. Make yourself at home. Are you Joan or Erica this evening?"