All Comments on 'Searching for that Spark Ch. 01'

wow ,this story has some great potential',interesting characters and plot..looking forward to more . :)

Great story keep going!!

So beautiful, keep this story going please!!

Moved from "straight" to anal sex too quickly and easily to be realistic. What? No self-doubt? No hesitation? No questioning?

Interesting storyline, but I think you're rushing it and the characters. You've given Ashton no time to think or wonder about his desires. He showers and notices other naked guys in the shower. Fuck, it's a college dorm! I don't find Calvin's and Ashton's actions believable at the fast pace you put them through. Ashton and Nate bumping into each other just seemed like filler. You did have a stupendous laugh with Riley, the RA commenting to Ashton that he had something (cum) on his face. Try slowing the overall pace down a bit and the character's actions will become more believable.

This writer has postd a very good first effort. I give it a 4

But the initiation of sex seems a bit too rushed to be believable.

A college dorm with community shower facilities is an ideal spot for a young man to come to grips with his sexual orientation but my experience and observation has been that it is usual for a new boy to take several weeks to realize the kind of relationships described here.

The writing is representative of first class pornographic fiction but, in my opinion, the action comes a little to soon.

The alphamale shows great promise and I'm confident that his next submission will merit 5 stars and I encourage him to post it soon.

but i also feel it is a little rushed. The sex scenes are hot, but the situation is unrealistic.

You say that Calvin knows Ashton is a virgin...how? They never even had that conversation. If i was Calvin, I'd think Ashton was very experienced with how easily and comfortably he took to gay sex

Hey guys! Thanks for all the feedback, I really do appreciate it! Yes, the story seems a bit rushed and unrealistic, but I made it that way for a reason. I'm still writing the next chapter and it will include a little of the aftermath of this chapter's events. I'd glad you guys like the story and I can't wait to share more of it :)

One other thing I'd like to mention is your use of "lied comfortably in his arms", It should be "lay comfortably in his arms", depending on tense or point of view you could also say "he laid comfortably in his arms", lied is past tense of someone telling 'lies'. Im pointing this out as I have noticed you doing this a few times this chapter and also in your other stories.

I know it may seem picky but I find it really jarring as it changes what the sentence means.

Hot Start. I just found your stories from Insatiable Boy and am loving them. Look forward to reading this series and then all your others. I like your writing and love the sex!

Brilliant story, passion and erotic all in one thank you.

Fantastic… please more