All Comments on 'Secrets of the Suburbs Ch. 01'

A promising start to a good story. I look forward to the remaining chapters

This looks like it's going to be a fun read! I like stories that use catalysts to get people to do things that are immoral and wrong, I find most people don't have sex with their relatives and so a story works better when there is a reason people who wouldn't normally have sex, start having sex. It's going to be fun seeing how your new family get drawn into what seems like a really close knit group! Great start!

there are indeed a few little typos, a sentence that was completly out of place here and there bt other then that a pritty good read.

the thing i do take issue with though is the fact he sees EVERYTHING from inside that bin with just the two holes to see out of. the entire patio, the scene in the pool, every aspect of here body no matter her orientation.

what i also find strange is the 'scent' thing. smelling a womans arousel from quite a distance away??? i duno, i Always feel thats kinda weird.

i like the fact you dont go over the top with penis size...i can only hope that this is not a setup to have your protagonist have an unrealisticly big 'cock' like 8 inches or something...look at average penis size...you'll understand what im talking about :)

i gave 4 stars because of well written but with a little room for improvement. all in all good job!

Incest is all over, it's nice to learn not all think it's wrong. Hope all give in to desires in next chapter and enjoy

Loved it, and can't wait for the additional chapters.

This is the first one of your stories I have read and I will be adding you to my favorites list and enjoying more stories . Yes there were a few mistakes but nothing that distracts from the story if one can just read through them and fully enjoy the plot . Thanks for sharing with us .

Wowww... I really like the build of the story so far.... And I like the words (language) you use very much... Please keep up your awesome work... I'm waiting impatiently for the next chapters...

A great read, cant wait for the next chapter

Nicely done to use voyeurism as the mechanism to introduce the neighborhood secret. Can't wait to read the next chapters. Especially how Frankie introduces the topic to his mom or sister.

One of the best that I have every read,keep it going!

I like the long run up. I get bored with the quick stroke story. I want to care about the characters. Thanks.

I'll be watching for future episodes of this neighborhood ... great start.

Wow that was awesome loved the story can't wait for part 2!!

Favorited the story and you as well. I'm always glad when I like a story from an author I haven't read before, because if gives me their entire works page to read through. Great Story I'll probably read A Vision of God next while waiting for the next chapter.

This was a grear start looking forward to more.

great start thanks for your efforts

Great start to what will hopfully be a much, much longer story of life in the suburbs. Can't wait to see where things lead from here...

much more please - very nicely paced

Keep it going!

Very well written and so far I like very much and looking forward to the next Ch. as I do like the way you write plus I put you in my Favorite Author & Story.!**

Thank you for being you.^

Great start of a story line, and sexy scenes - was really expecting that at the very last the mother and son would reach over and lift the lid of the basket ...Knowing Frankie was there all along. But I definitely like the 'adult' incest activities, guess partly because my sister and I had a very special relationship 'too'. She was 13 months younger than me. ...btw SHE was the initiator of our original encounters, but that's another story - of real life.

Thanks for a great read. And, as for Crawler, maybe he should stick to NY bestsellers for his reading material. He can spend his hard earned monies on error proof, professionally edited published books - verses Free erotic stories by people who just like to write for the fun enjoyment of his/her readers of good porn.

Just can't understand people who willingly accept your free contributions And enjoy the 'story', I assume, but then pay with a whole line of criticisms instead of a simple Thank You. Guess ya just have to consider 'the source'. Oh, sorry - 'ya' should be 'you'.

Thank You!

A great start to what looks like an epic story. Your description of the events as they happen are such a turn on.

I look forward to the following chapters and their revelations.

I had never thought about my girlfriend giving me a blow job as I floated on her hands but now I want it.

Five stars

You have a lot of stories with the red H, so you don't need advice from me, however the one who pointed out the weakness of his seeing so much from inside the container did have a point.

Please continue--you have so many ways you can go from here. Good Luck!

While I love the theme/subject matter (mother/son) and the flow of the story, but I absolutely hate mother/son stories when the boy calls his mother "Mommy." I'm a 50-yo male and I've never met ANY young man who still calls his mother "Mommy." How about just calling her Mom?

A great beginning with a very titillating premise! I suspect that in the coming chapters daughter Alyssa's derisive "Mom, we are adults. We don't need play dates," remark will be turned around, and she along with her brother Frankie and mother Susan will all be very much looking forward to their "play dates" with the neighbors... and one another!

Grammar errors notwithstanding, the story and the development of the erotic scene were done in a real professional manner, with an added innocently vouyeristic twist that grabs you and won't let go. You have got me hooked.

Your story is really enjoyable. It's well written, has good characters and I love the descriptions almost as much as the sex. However, I'm really impressed with your P.S..

Steve

P.S. I had a production company - Pick Two Productions. Our slogan was "Cheap... Fast... Funny... Pick Two".

And looking forward to reading the other chapters. Only "negative" comment I can say is that I find it very unlikely that a young man of over 6' tall can have his tongue stuffed in his mothers mouth, while at he same time have his cock buried in her tits.

Other than that I am off to read the other chapters!

You ask for feed back so here's some constructive criticism. Your story is off to a great start but I see more than a few missing or mis-used words. I can tell it's more a typo error and could easily be corrected by proof reading. When we're editing our own work we tend to breeze though thus missing errors that detract from the story. When I read a story with multiple chapters I wait unti the last chapter to rate it...like I said it's off to a great start!

Excellent writing. Erotic. Just wish the into had been somewhat shorter.

Hott

Amazing build up and execution. Well written story.

not really a fan of an 18 or 19 year old dude saying Mommy you also hit the tip of my dick. and sounding like a little child. I just dont get why authors make an 18+ year old seem so dumb to the world of sex and dirty talk. Just a tip, if the person you are with wants you to sound like a child then turn around and go the other way