All Comments on 'Secrets Untold Ch. 04'

I loved the first part of this series and thought Michael was perfect for Rachel. A follow up to their story made me excited to see where they were in life. Just because incest is involved it doesn't mean the people involved have to be disgusting or cheaters. You've turned a beautiful love story into a trivial mess. I hope Rachel leaves him and I really hope you don't try to fix it by making it out to be a threesome free for all. Michael can't really be in love with Racheal because you don't cheat on someone you love.

Sadiebratt, your complaint is provincial. You are judging the turn of this story based on your rather unsophisticated mores. Yes it was a bad segue, but not because he "cheated" but because it is trite.

Furthermore, while the story is cute, it too is unsophisticated in style. It takes more than a good story to make one a good author. You should pass this manuscript by your High School Grammar teacher. That aspect of it is so bad as to be distracting, causing me to wince two or three times on each page.

Try expanding the descriptions of the passionate scenes spending two or three paragraphs on, for instance, what it was like for him to shoot his load down her throat, what it tasted like, the texture, the aroma, the emotion, etc. If you don't know, go find out.

To use an old phrase I heard years ago; The feller done shit and fell back in it. I have to agree the other guy. I've been giving fives for the story. NOT it's presentation. The story, itself, deserves a Much better treatment.

I gotta say I agree with the other comments. The grammar issues throughout the series could have been easily spotted if you proof read.

And I'm so sick of people writing "love stories" and then the whole family getting busy together. If you have true love with your sister or whoever why would you want/need anyone else??? Just because it's erotic it ruins the rest of the story by ruining the special love story it started out as.

If you love someone you should not want someone else. This story is stupid. If you want to fix it delete the parts where the grandma is involved and just have it between the brother and sister.

Now Michael looks like such a disgusting creep!! And it started out as such a nice love story. Why did u have to go and spoil the story by involving the granny ??? Totally agree with the others. Plz delete the Beth parts because by keeping this you killed the original essence of the story and made it into a cheapskate,

I wish I hadn't left that good comment on the other story cause now you have gone and fucked up one good story by writing this crap. Fix it.

surely you are going to finish this. He certainly did fuck up big time. We need to know if he can fix this.

I really do hope you would find time to finished this story...

Love the story so far.. especially the blend in pacing your use of themes..that echoe thru the story.. I personally liked the reveal of beth/William, saw it when he made comment bout her age/appearance.. but curious how or when it would come.

Superb ckiff hanger..Please don't leave it here..for long

Definitely looking fwd to nxt ch/installment..especially since this was way more than petting (flash back to her reaction to the hs girl).. so I'm curious wether she cheats on him or how has able to sooth her back this time. I do hope she doesnt crash in her mad rush to get away.. but hopefully your nxt installments will settle everything

.*keep up good work

I read the first part and loved how the story went, was very heart warming to see them live their life, the sequel is another story, don't like the fact Michael and Beth are now fooling around, could barely read the sequel only because I did not find it exciting at all and it lost its appeal to me, I'm sure there are people who are enjoying it, sadly the sequel kinda ruined it for me. Sadly I more than likely won't continue reading this story as I just lost interest on how the sequel went.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOOK YOU THREE YEARS TO WRITE THIS CRAP AND IT HAS BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE, YOU HAVE NOT COMPLETED THE STORY. THE FIRST SERIES WAS REAL GOOD, THE SECOND SERIES JUST DUMPED ON THE FIRST SERIES.

Opps, now what to do. A three way with your grams and your wife. 5/5 stars.