by other2other1
A great short story. Looking forward to a lengthy story from you in the near future
These short ones are the hardest ones to do well. I think you nailed it. 5*
Loved it, great the way you flipped the perception of the free person in so few paragraphs :)
Nice, you had me. I thought she was visiting him. Really clever the way you switched it so quickly. Great work Mr. Other.
I have never sprained my neck from reading a story. Until now. Love the blindside. As always 5&FAV
I know your style well enough that it was her behind bars, but you hid it well. Great short! while it would be nice to read more detail behind the storyline, this work is complete on its own. 4.8*
this should be a great exclamation point in a longer telling of this story. well done for a short story challenge.
Being an expressive person, 750 words was quite a challenge. But I enjoyed this. And yes, there is a lot to the story that is inferred. But I’m betting everyone can imagine how it all came together, what she is in jail for and what desert he ended up with ;)
Because I love your work, I had a sneaky suspicion that I shouldn't make presumptions about the characters until you revealed all. As usual, it was worth the (short) wait.
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In spite of the word cap, I had hoped you would work in a reference to your beautiful Sunshine Coast. You had 750 whole words! How many does it take?
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Ah, well; maybe I should just 'presume' that there are no prisons in paradise.
A good story, as usually when written by you, but way to short, but what can you do when the limit is 750 words?
Still, a very good job.
For someone who writes long novellas, this fucking rocks. Must have been a real challenge to create this. Now can you write a sequel/prequel series around this?
As usual, you don't disappoint. Great story. But who wrote it? Obviously, it wasn't you. It was only 750 words. Thanks. Loved it.
The BEAR
I'm like The BEAR - shocked this 750 wonder came from this author. Love it!
Hard to do a really good, 5 star story, that is also really short. You did it, and tied up everything that needed tied up.
Nice shift at the end. I'm sure 99% of the people assumed he was serving time for assaulting his boss and she was visiting him. I certainly did. Well done.
Thanks for sharing...
750 words is a understandable challenge, in my reading experience it’s about 1 in 50 that actually work, Normally because of the humanistic aspect. A bit like telling a joke I suppose. But how do I rate this & what do I compare it too? You’re a good writer for the segment & I enjoy your stories, however, there should be a separate segment for 750 words plague.
So who was in jail? Clarification is needed. It is obvious that the wife and the boss were cheaters.
I guessed it was the wife who was in prison but it was a very well executed story.
Another shot and honest tale with a realistic husband immediately reacting with a male brain to the demented behaviour of his slut wife. No need for tens of pages of psycho-blabbering for the husband seeking help from his mommy, in a totally irrealistic childish way: "what can I do, what can I do ?". It lacks at least one paragraph about the lover, completing this good short BTB tale with the BurnTheBastard part. The only one today, among 10+ fempov-cheating-cuck-raac tales, to deserve a good rating: 5 stars !
Another rare realistic tale with a little twist in the ending: who was in jail ? It is really difficult to find tales, in this LW category, where the husbands are not painted like submissive sheeps, as required by the endless femdom men-hater propaganda, so, for this little cup of fresh air, the full prize: five full stars.
Come on who didn’t guess that she was the prisoner by the first sentence (pun intended).
I agree with lot of others. Until almost the end I was thinking that he was in.
WERY CLEVER WRITING, WELL DONE. 5
Too many unanswered questions. This always happens and its why this event blows when it comes around every year.
As memere would say, can't put lipstick on a pig
She's the one in prison and she still blamed her husband. What a delusional woman. Thank you for sharing @other2other1.
Ok, the was a great story. The setup was perfect, Peter in prison visiting with his wife. But he the one that’s free literally and gets it all. Thanks for writing. 5🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
See, you can actually write a story without repeating yourself! Normally, you say the same thing over and over again at least 750 times per story. I’m proud of you. 5*
Ok...there was a story here...somewhere. I hate it when authors sit on the toilet..write a story and other people lick their *@**##.
Write a story. A whole story. I can't even rate this because there is nothing here to even rate.
Most excellent!
5*
Nice and compact. The picture was clear for me. Thank you!
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Be well!
Dave, a great story. One problem is that the MC stated he wouldn't be a cuckold. The mere fact that she had sex with someone else makes him a cuck. Wanting it to be anything else doesn't change a thing. Just because you don't like being what the word means doesn't change the meaning of the word. This erroneous idea that your attitude can change the meaning of a word is baffling.
You got me. I incorrectly assumed that Peter was in jail until the last three paragraphs. A great story. Thank you.
Tricky with this story. Good twist. Glad to see you writing. I love your work. Thanks.
You sly devil! You caught me hook, line, and sinker. What a delightful ending! 5*****!
Brilliant. Good to see you take the 750 challenge.
I like how you infered a lot of the story. Was he there for assault, no, she was there for fraud.
Hard to tell a story in750 words. But I think you gave us just enough
Latched onto the twist in the nick of time.
Barely saw it coming before the kick.
Enjoyed, and appropriately awarded stars.
I swear, I am sick to death of 750 word stories. You show me the best 750 word story and I'll show you a weak effort. After all, it isn't a story, but just a scene from a story. We like stories.
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That said, I'll grudgingly admit I liked this one, kind of, and since I also like your real stories, I gave you 5 stars. Thanks for posting.
Wow. Nice twist. I fell for it too. Got yourself a whole lot packed in a very few precise words. Well done.
Predictable. And I'm so frigging sick of the convenient ready-to-fuck female family member of the AP trope.
Very well done, leading us to believe one thing and then flipping the script.
Great twist. I didn’t see it coming. Good job. I would love the whole fleshed out version sometime.
I enjoyed it. I like the twist toward the end. I was surprised you took on a 750 challenge too. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Yep good enough for 4/5.
But l have to agree with Anon below l too am sick of these 750 word stories they do little for me. I do like the longer versions.
With this story, think of everything we missed????
@sbrooks103x1 day ago
I felt that the twist was too obvious. - At what point did you feel this.