All Comments on 'Sex on the Beach: Family Vacation'

Awesome, Part 2, plz

Very long but great detail, might want to break it down to like 2 chapters/sections to keep people interested and wanting to keep going. Glad it wasn’t 1 page but also 10 was a lot to keep track of if your busy.

I only read the first and last pages. I didn't see anything in that to motivate me to read anything else.

What I did read was bloated and awkward. Boring would probably be a good way to describe it.

Your description of getting out of the car as if everyone waited until the person before them got out was exceptionally weird, and unnecessarily protracted. That's just one example to illustrate this story could probably have been a third as many words without losing anything. In fact, it would probably have been more interesting had it been a third as long but told the same story.

Much of the unnecessary and useless details not only bloated the story, but detracted from the continuity and believability. They rented the house, but then went on to describe the sharing of it with the rest of the family, and they just arranged with others in the family to make sure no two groups tried to be there at once. If they rented it, would it be up to whoever received the rent to make sure to not collect rent from more than one group for the same time period?

I'm sure that had I had any motivation to read more of this, it would have been much of the same problems throughout. You have a lot to work on to make your writing even readable, let alone interesting or entertaining.

The text conversation was very difficult to follow because of the mechanics. I might have read more of the story if you had put a little bit of effort into making that more understandable. I really didn't want to have to wade through something like that again.

Halfway through the last page, a paragraph started out "The four of us...", then you proceeded to name five people in that very paragraph: Austin, Sasha, the narrator, the narrator's dad, and the narrator's mom.

Wow! Cageysea you are a bit of a dick to a first time author. Would it kill you to be supportive?

I thought it was a great first effort SuperWriter. Please ignore the overly critical from the cheap seat and continue to improve your craft.

Best one so far. Normally do not like long ones but this was well paced.

I enjoyed the story, it was long, but but fun. There are so man thrown together stories lately. Please publish Chapter 2,

I enjoyed it story very much. I like longer reads that have an actual story, build up characters, n have got sex scenes instead of short sex stories that leave a reader wanting more.

I hope ur not gonna build it up to where the bf is unrealistically fucking the mom n then have a 4 way with the bro n sis. It's a far too common story written on here n are usually not that great of a story n so obvious it will happen that it doesn't add anything of benefit.

Idk what the one commenter cagey read but my opinion I see a complete opposite of theirs. I can't wait for ch 2 n hope u don't keep us waiting too long but please make it at least just as good as this if not better, if that's possible. Gave ya 5 stars even with any misspells or other errors.

More please

Kept me hard all the way through, please go on!

10 pages of great sex every 5 minutes between brother and sister and occasionally sister and her boyfriend. But the long absences and times mother takes boyfriend away from house or out alone must mean something, how did how did brother or sister not catch them on the deck at the BBQ grill, etc.

As one other commenter suggested there will be a foursome or moresome. That could be a good mini portion of the next chapter but not a major insert.

Keep up the good work

great story. can't wait for the next chapter

Great straight up sex, like the interesting build-up over time. Looking for two next installment.

Kept me hard all the way through. So good. Can’t wait for the next one.

I loved it! Can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! Five stars and a favorite point!

can't wait for the next installment...

Can’t wait to find out what Sasha and Jake have gotten themselves into!

be good to have him eating her pussy before and after cumming in it.

Wow, was hard all through it! Can’t wait for the next one, and hope there’s some painting of her face and tits with cum too!

using another guys cum, yuck, fucking gay ass story

Please continue this! It's one of the best stories on this site!

Please continue this incredible tale. 5 stars.

If you're interested, here are some errors I found. Please feel free to delete this comment if it does not serve you.

["Probably a good idea, I grinned." I could feel myself getting harder in anticipation of getting naked in front of my sister (again), which was definitely a good thing.]

*"Probably a good idea," I grinned.

[Sometimes I'd love to the sides and grab her hips as I probably would if we were having sex in this position.]

Sometimes I'd *move (?)

["I could read down and massage your balls while you emptied them deep inside my pussy."]

*reach

[She clutched me in different plays,]

*ways (?) *places (?)

I appreciate that you did not spend a lot of time on build up to sexual activity. I was a little worried, since it was 10 pages, and I've encountered so many other stories that bored the shit out of me for three pages, but you got to the point without immediately jumping right into it. I do appreciate SOME build up.

I do have to complaints, tho. The first is more of a personal preference, in that I do like a little apprehension, so the fact that the brother was initially so cool with the prospect of doing things with his sister was a negative for me.

The second complaint is that there was a lot of repetition. It felt like parts were all but copied and pasted, which made me zone out a few times while reading.

One thing I DO appreciate is when the female takes the initiative.

The story did not go where I had thought/hoped it might. I was imagining the sister being part of a ploy to get the brother receptive to a 3-way, resulting in an ass/pussy double penetration, but oh, well.

I will be following you.

I keep coming back to this story. Really looking forward to a part 2 that I hope is in the works.

Where is part 2 !!! Best story on here. Read it about 3 times now. Please write part 2 or someone else write part 2. This story needs to continue.!

Part 2? I like how you tie in Brian and Ashley.

Decent story, but it was a tad too repetitive for me. The dialogue was just the same old thing everytime. "Can't belive were doing this" "Can't believe how good it feels" "Little brother" "Big sister". Definitely some good in the story, but you should work on not repeating the same dialogue so much.

More Please!