by randy1
I thought that was a fun story. Totally unrealistic, but who cares? This site is about having fun and writing about fantasies, and that was a good one.
Very hot. I would have liked some clarification on the recipients of his attentions, but I understand the mystery was the point of the story. Very well done. I noticed a few grammatical errors near the front, and perhaps a few awkward sentences, but it picked up once the party started. Spend a little more time editing after you finish and you'll be golden!
Keep up the good work!
Perhaps you could have figured out if you had fucked your girlfriend if you had not used a condom. In about 9 months, if she was in her fertile period, the baby that came out of her would have or would not have, looked like you, possibly.
With more buildup of the erotic elements. Have everyone come to the party in underwear, draw numbers to see who gets to undress who, and perhaps even throw in some bisexual scenes. I mean, if you're going to choose an unlikely scenario, why not go all the way?
I agree that the story could have been - SHOULD have been - considerably longer. But it was still a very delightful fantasy. One wonders what his girlfriend might have told him AFTER the party.....
Develop the story about the women involved (with each other) and what happened to the girlfriend in the restroom.
at the end u should have the blindfold taken off and have at least three girls in there. A striptease would have been nice
So well written... I loved that you included his thoughts and musings, that really turns me on! Thanks ~alexa
Fun story, cute premise. It could easily be written as a longer more involved story, but was actually quite nice as is.
Wouldn't that be a Christmas party?
Very, very good, how ambivalent would you be wondering who you had fucked, and whose cock your girlfriend sucked and who if anyone had she happily taken in her ass.