Shame, Shame, Shame!

I couldn't believe him. My heart was torn in two, and he was calmly washing his car. As I walked over to him, he continued applying his wax or whatever he was rubbing on the car.

"I'll be leaving in a few minutes," he said. "I wasn't expecting you, but we may as well get this over with. For today please don't take anything that isn't yours personally. By next weekend I'll have some of those little pink and blue stickers."

"What?" I asked. I had no idea of what he was talking about.

"You know," he said. "Anything that you want to take you put a pink sticker on it. If I want it, I put a blue sticker on it. If something has both colors on it, we argue for it when we have the meetings with the lawyers..."

"Danny, we don't need any God damned stickers," I said. "That's not what I'm here for."

He didn't say anything. He calmly picked up a bottle of some sort of Turtle Wax product. He sprayed a small amount of it on the car and started polishing it in.

"What are you here for?" he asked calmly. "I already gave you what you asked for."

"I'm here because I want us to work this out. I want to come home...." I said. "What do you mean you gave me what I asked for?"

He dropped his rag and stood up. "Do I have to send you a copy of the video?" he asked. "It's almost like what I heard you telling Greg the first time I caught you. You told him that you wished the two of you didn't have to sneak around anymore, remember? You told him that the two of you could get rid of the boring people in your lives and then he could get all the pussy he wanted. So I'm giving you the divorce you want. I gave it to you for your birthday. I gave you the papers myself to save you any further embarrassment. I didn't realize that there would be that many people at the concert...sorry."

"Is that really what you think?" I asked. He turned away from me and got a fresh microfiber towel out. Once the first one had touched the ground he wouldn't use it again until it had been washed. He worried about dirt particles scratching his car.

"Danny, none of that shit was true. It's just trash talk. I didn't mean a word of it and neither did Greg. You're the only man I've ever loved and Greg loves Amanda. We just..."

I made a huge mistake then. I reached out to touch him the way I had literally thousands of times over almost twenty years. I hadn't counted on the revulsion he felt for me at that moment. Before my hand even landed he'd violently lurched away from me.

"Get the fuck away from me," he yelled suddenly. "You don't love me. I don't think you ever have. If you did you wouldn't have...." I saw it then. The confidence, how calm he'd been, the seemingly unconcerned demeanor, it was all a facade. As the mask faded I saw the anger, and all of the pain he'd been hiding behind his Mr. Macho mask. I saw the tears that he was trying so God damned hard to blink away. I knew this man far better than anyone else did. I had lived with him and slept with him and shared his joy and his pain for almost twenty years. I had hurt him worse than anything else ever had. His pretending that he was fine with what had happened and pretending that he didn't care was his only way of holding onto his pride.

I had been so busy worrying about my own feelings and the pain I was going through that I had failed to consider what I'd done to Danny. Then I started to realize the full scope of what was going on. I knew then that this was not going to be a quick fix. An apology and a blow job were not going to come close to fixing this. I would be very lucky if this didn't end up changing my marriage forever. The easy loving relationship I had enjoyed with Danny and the knowledge that there was nothing he wouldn't do for me was probably gone. It might take years for us to even come close to that. We would probably be a lot closer to some of the other couples we knew. We'd be lie the couples who lived together and stayed together for their kids or because they'd been together for a long time. I had always felt superior to them and sorry for them at the same time. Now I'd be lucky just to be one of them.

"Danny, I know how hurt you are," I said. "And as much as I don't want it, you probably need some time to think. I'll give you a few days and then maybe we can talk."

"If you're really interested in what I need, you should get a lawyer so we can move the divorce along," he said without facing me. "I really won't feel better until I get you out of my life."

He had just hurt me more than anything ever had. I wasn't him. I saw no need to cover up my feelings so I let the tears flow. I had nothing and no one to blame it on except myself.

I went back home and sulked. I was hoping that time and distance would give Danny a chance to think about what we stood to lose. I hoped that he'd begin to miss me and think about giving me a chance to work things out.

On Sunday things got worse. My mom convinced me to come out of my room. I was sitting on their back porch thinking and trying to figure out anything I could do to get Danny to talk to me. My dad came out and looked at me. He shook his head.

"So how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Like Hell," I said.

"Imagine what Danny feels like," he said. "At least you knew what you were doing, I guess. Put yourself in his shoes. He probably feels like shit right now. Imagine feeling like you weren't enough for your wife so she had to go out and...."

"Shut up, Dad," I screamed. "Danny is more than enough for me, this was...."

"How's he supposed to know that?" he asked. "And imagine how embarrassing this is for Jordan. Everyone in town knows about it now. I wonder how my grandson likes being the son of the town whore?" he saw the shock on my face and just shook his head again.

"You haven't even thought about Jordan have you?" he asked. "Shit, the only thing you're worse at than being a wife is being a mother. At least call him to let him know you're alive."

So that was what I did. I called him. And like his father, he didn't answer the phone. I started to worry so I got my mom to call him and he picked up on the first ring.

I listened in on their conversation. He sounded fine. He was spending the day with friends and had slept in the house as usual. Since neither he nor his father liked to cook they'd gone out for breakfast.

As soon as she handed the phone to me, his demeanor changed.

"Hi Jordan," I said. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," he said. "Shouldn't you be worrying about Dad? At the end of the summer, I'll be out of here. And after college, I'll probably live somewhere else. Dad will still have to live with what people in this tiny town think of what you did and how it makes him look."

"I know Jordan and I'm sorry. I'd do anything to make it up to both of you but..." he interrupted me.

"Mom, so you really want to do something for me?" he asked.

"Yes, Honey, anything," I said.

"Then don't call me again," he said and he hung up. I started crying even louder then.

"Betty, he doesn't mean it. He's just embarrassed and hurt," said my mom. "You guys are a strong family. Just give it some time and you'll all be back together before you know it

I didn't feel like eating dinner last night. I stayed in my room. So this morning I was ready to get out and do something. I needed to do something other than sit there and think about how stupid I'd been. The drive in to work was odd. I got my mom to drive me to the house so I could pick up my car. She'd called Danny the day before and he had no problem with me taking the car. He reminded her that in his proposed divorce settlement we each got to keep our own stuff.

My plan was to get there just before he usually left for work. I hoped to speak to him or even just to tell him to have a good day. I thought that anything, even just the small courtesies would remind him that I did love him. But we weren't in luck. Danny was already gone.

"Oh nuts!" said my mom. I just stared at her and smiled.

"I was going to invite him to dinner, darn it!" she said.

I just smiled and hugged her. Sometimes I wished that my life was as simple as hers. My mom thought that any and all problems could be solved over dinner.

I took a deep breath, got onto my car and drove away. Twenty minutes later, I was driving into the teachers' parking lot at the school. I got out of the car with both hands loaded up with books and my laptop. Even thinking about something as stupid as my computer made me think about Danny. My laptop was light years ahead of what they gave most teachers. It had, of course, come from Danny. He'd been given the laptop at work although he didn't really need it. He had a great desktop on his desk and another one at home. Of course, he actually needed it once at a meeting.

He took everyone at the meeting to his office to show them his designs. They loved them of course, but after the meeting my dad pulled him aside.

My dad told him that meetings like that one were the reason he'd gotten him that tricked out laptop that could connect to any projector via Wi-Fi. He told my dad he'd pay for the laptop. My dad just looked at him and started laughing. "You gave it to Betty didn't you?" he asked. He just shook his head and told Danny to have IT get him another laptop.

I had to sit back down in the car, because suddenly I was crying again. It took me a while to get myself back together. Had it only been 72 hours previous that I'd been happily living a double life? I'd been cheating on a man who loved me more than anything and thinking that I was the smartest bitch on the planet. I didn't think that there was any way I would ever get caught. I never considered what I could lose if I did.

Before I met Danny, I never gave a damn about any of the guys I fucked. They were just dicks to me. I was addicted to dick. Danny was the cure. I'd spent my life leading a double life. At home and around my parents, I was daddy's little girl. Up at school I was one wild assed slut.

For the past couple of years, I'd had my double life back. Ninety-five percent of the time, I was a very happily married wife and teacher. The other five percent of the time, I was a wild assed slut again. I had risked it all for some sex on the side and my whole house of cards had tumbled.

I needed to stop staring at the cards. I had two choices. I could just pack the cards away and move on with my life. Or I could pick them up and rebuild my house. That was the option for me. And I'd build it taller and stronger and even more filled with love.

Just thinking about what I was about to do filled me with power. I began to look at winning back my husband's love as a sacred quest that I had to undertake. At the end of the quest I'd have my Danny back. My back was a little straighter and my gait was a little quicker as I walked down the hallway. I felt empowered.

Then I saw her walking down the hallway coming from the direction I was heading in. That bitch has hated me for almost twenty years. She smiled at me as we approached each other. Then she stopped to talk to me. "Don't worry Betty," she said very sweetly. I was shocked. With our past, Rhonda was the last person I'd have expected sympathy from.

"I'll take really good care of Danny. A year from now, he won't even remember you...Oh...which side of the bed does he like to sleep on?"

If I hadn't been so shocked, I'd have strangled that bitch in the hallway. I shook my head to clear it as the sound of her laughter echoed down the hall.

I got to my classroom with a couple of minutes to spare. I opened the door expecting to see most of my twenty students there. Of course there would be a couple who'd be late, there always were.

I was unprepared to step into a classroom with only two students there. It was especially bad, since they were two of my worst students.

I sat down and arranged my stuff and they didn't even look up.

A few moments later there was a knock on my door. My boss the principal stepped into the class room. He looked at my students and shook his head. "Why don't you two pull out your phones and text someone?" he said.

"She doesn't let us use our phones in class," said Seth Wyatt.

"Well, go down to the study hall and text your hearts out," he said.

With the sound of two kids screaming and running down the hall in the background, he turned back to me.

"Betty, we have a problem," he said.

"Does it have anything to do with why the school is empty?" I asked.

He looked at me and shook his head. "Betty the school isn't empty. It's only your class that isn't here. I got calls from the parents of eighteen out of your twenty students. I have the feeling that the other two kids' parents don't give a flying....well you know what I mean. Anyway the parents all want to pull their kids out of your class. A few of them were either vague about it or didn't give me a reason, but most of them claimed that they didn't want their kids to be taught by the town slut. I guess there's no easy way to tell you this..."

"I'm fired, right?" I asked.

"No," he said. He looked down at his shoes. "To be honest, I wanted to fire you, but our lawyer told me that I'd have to consult with the Teachers' union first. So for the next couple of days, you're going to help out in the office."

"But, what about my class?" I asked.

"Miss Barbie will be taking over your class," he said. "She's probably our most popular new teacher and she doesn't have a home room class of her own yet."

"But she's only been here for a year," I said. "Your rule says that we don't get a homeroom class for three years."

"Office, Betty, he said. I was pissed.

I spent the day in the office. I filled out forms and did other tasks that were both inane and mundane. Most of the women in the office didn't speak to me, even though I'd known them for years. I also noticed that the only people who dealt with me, we're the ones who were in a hurry and then only when everyone else was busy. Some of them immediately grabbed the large bottle of hand sanitizer after touching any paperwork that I had handed them. I thought that was really funny, since I hadn't made any actual direct contact with them.

It didn't matter. It was only a job. I just did what they wanted. I used the time to think about ways that I could work on getting my husband and my son back. At the end of the day I had several plans in mind. I drove back to my parents' house and as soon as I walked into the house, my mom handed me the phone.

"Betty this is Dennis Colton. You got out of here before I got a chance to speak to you today. I have some good news for you," he said.

"I can go back to my class tomorrow," I beamed.

"Uhm, No!" he said. "But you don't have to wake up early tomorrow to come in here."

"You're letting me go?" I asked. "But I'm...."

"Unfortunately, that isn't the case either," he said. "The union members voted and they agreed to allow us to terminate you, but our lawyers thought that we might be letting ourselves become vulnerable to some sort of wrongful termination lawsuit. So while they're investigating the legality of the matter, we're putting you on what they call "Administrative Leave." You will still be paid and it leaves you free to sort out your personal affairs. I would appreciate it if you could forward all of your grades to Miss Barbie."

I hung up the phone in shock and headed back to my room.

When dinner time came I told my mom that I wasn't hungry. My dad came up a little while later to tell me that a friend of mine was on the phone.

"Who is it?" I asked. I desperately needed a friend at that point.

"How would I know?" he asked. "She sounds really nice though. She has the nicest Southern accent."

"Hello," I said into the phone.

"Betty, can you please e-mail me the grades for my class," she said. I knew it was Rhonda. It seemed just like her to try to kick me while I was down.

"Well I guess you're happy about all of this," I said. "Are you so happy you're about to burst? I guess stealing my class is the highlight of your week, huh? How many times did you fuck old Colton to get him to give you my class? Did you go around telling everyone in the school about my problems? So is this it? Is this your revenge for what happened back in college?"

"Betty, get over your-self," she said softly. "I'm a professional educator. I didn't ask for your class and I tried to turn it down, but Mr. Colton insisted. Why would I want to put myself into a situation where the outcome is so unfairly tilted? Those children loved you. Now they're confused and hurt and they feel betrayed. I'll be compared to you at every point. At the same time the parents will be putting me under a microscope to make sure I'm not doing the same types of things you did. Who'd want that? And as far as the past goes...Yes, Betty, I hate what you did to me. Hunter was an ass. But he was my ass. I guess I should be grateful to you in some ways because if you hadn't started fucking him behind my back I might have married him and he was probably the same kind of man your fuck buddy Greg is. It could very well be me sitting around crying and wringing my hands over a man who wasn't worth two dead flies."

"I really should be grateful to you, but at the same time you knew that Hunter was mine, but you fucked him behind my back anyway. And you did it for months. The only revenge I want against you won't be through a bunch of innocent children. I'm going to hit you in the same place you hit me. But I'm going to be open and honest about it. I want Danny. But I'm going to give you the courtesy you never gave me. I'm going to wait and see how things play out between the two of you. He needs some space and some time to sort out his feelings."

"Rhonda, that's...that's more than I deserve. I'm sending you the grades now," I said. I got out my laptop and e-mailed the grades then we hung up. A few seconds later the phone rang again. I picked it up.

"Did you forget something?" I asked.

"Yeah, I needed to tell you one more thing," she said in that same soft southern accent.

"Okay, what is it?" I asked.

"Suck it!" she said and hung up.

* * * * * *

Danny

It had been nearly two weeks since the concert and the dinner with Betty's parents. Since then my son and I had pulled even closer together. I had tried to get him to speak to his mother. I'd told him over and over again that what she'd done to me had nothing to do with him.

Once she'd come over to retrieve some of her belongings and had asked to speak to him. I told her that she didn't need to ask my permission to speak to him. He'd be eighteen in a matter of days. He was an adult and could do whatever he wanted. He had just chosen to stay home with me because it was the same house he'd always lived in.

She explained to me that he hadn't spoken to her since before the concert and even when she had used her mother to get him on the phone he'd asked her not to call him again and had refused to answer the phone when she called.

She said that she wanted the chance to apologize to him for any problems her actions might have caused him.

I called him downstairs. While we waited for him to come down, she tried to make small talk.

"So now are you feeling?" she asked. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"I know exactly how you feel," she said.

"No, you don't," I spat. "You have no idea how it feels to have the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with want someone else and..." I had to stop talking because Jordan was coming down the stairs.