All Comments on 'Shattering Crystal'

Loved it. But he needs to come in and catch them in the act. But...it will make him complicit sending him up there. Hmmm waiting for next chapter.

My only comment being sending Tony up to his wife... Kinda like sending an alcoholic a bottle. Too bad she killed her marriage. Course a wife like that is going to be way high maintenance. Would have been an interesting conversation next day! For sale sign on the front lawn? Half everything gone? Should have got pix for court. Of course if it's a no fault state, why bother. Very passive aggressive, but be gone.

As you indicated you have part 2 in mind. I think these stories always need a confrontation of some sort. How long has she been cheating? Was the role play really his idea or has she subtly been putting this into his mind?

Reconciliation might be possible as he didn't seem to mind as long as he knew so it is the lies rather than the action that has upset him.

Yes she's a slut and should be taught a lesson and booted to the curb if need be, but to set her up to be fucked by Tony is bad enough, but to be raped, not just raped, but roughly...the husband is a complete cunt.

Tony's a moron if he can't read basic body language, the bristling would be very visible and to believe the "don't say anything, don't take no, do it rough".

I think the only likeable person in this story is the person serving the drinks.

Sorry, KB this needs a follow up, as it stands it's one of your worse offerings.

what about the confrontation?

What a whore.

I don't understand why husbands go along with games like this. Letting a wife openly flirt with other men in bars to get her horny, is just encouraging your spouse to do the same thing when you're not around. He indulged her behaving like a cock-crazed slut and that's exactly what she became.

Author somehow XXXcavated nifty nuance on tired trope .

Ergo the obvious score *****

Liked everything but the ending. I would have preferred the confrontation. Somehow present the facts to the wife where she cannot deny. Maybe Tony shared some knowledge of a tattoo or mole only known from being intimate and have husband tape that conversation on his phone. I don't know, but sending the guy back to the room to basically "rape" his wife appeared just wrong or not in the flow of the rest of the story.

And call an uber? I had assumed they drove there earlier and checked in. So he is leaving her the car?

Of course she burns, but...

... turn her into a slobbering slut for any and all cocks, maybe to the point she finally hates it but circumstances prevent her escaping, probably by getting hooked to a nasty pimp? Or out her all to family and friends? Or make her your own “Crystal” permanently, and whoring her out yourself, never letting her back in “from the cold”? Or BTB with eventual RAAC?

Or something more original (which I don’t have) than the usual LW tropes.

Oh, and please show us how bad Tony treats her. She deserves it. Or does he abuse her and she absorbs it all, showing us how big of a slut she truly is.

For this part, since I’m expecting more, I’ll score it for its potential — 4-stars.

If you were to leave it as is I give it 3-stars.

Finish the story.

Good story line, but needed to finish the story.

But it definitely needs a chapter 2 to put a pin in it. The aftermath, and resolution are as important as the discovery and action. Please continue this tale at your leisure.

5/5

Pretty good twist, I like it. If you don't do another chapter, it does have a sort of finality that's implied, but we are left to imagine what happens to Crystal after Tony goes in. Does he ravish her? Does she break down and try to go home and make it up to hubby? Thanks for a decent read this morning.

Hubby started it...... So dont be hating Crystal...

I hope there is a 2nd part so you can finish with what happens between husband and wife. Your stories always are so good I have no doubt you will.

You really should write an additional BTB chapter.

Very nice rendition of a well used plot.

You actually combined a couple plot devices I have seen before and used a nice twist on top.

This is a good train wreck with the wife causing the crash and the husband blowing up the wreckage.

I can't look away.

Part 2 would be fun.

Absolutely shattering, indeed!!! While i would love to read part two (maybe Crystal's lament?), it is clear that wifey has been enjoying on her trips....who knows for how long? No amount of explanations can change Tony's story. Why cheat when you're enjoying amazing sex with your other half and in a loving relationship? I guess it's all about the thrill, "because you can".

Human nature....temptation....faithfulness....discipline....its tough these days when there are so many ways "you can".

Yes please have a second part. I wanted to see her kick the guys ass, and try to track down her husband. Lying, cheating, slut.

As soon as read about her flight delay, expected former lover to recognize her. Still, the build up to the revelation was perfect. His “confrontation” works really well as someone really hurt and can’t face her.

Feels u finished. Like it need so more at the end. Its just hanging in the wind.

His wife is an ass. Good plot, well written.

While I enjoy the premise and the story itself, I've never been a fan of the forced rape scenario. With that being said, I think s second chapter is definitely a good idea.

With a bit of bad luck for Angie/Crystal. Not sure about the way Hubby handles his discovery. When his wife screams rape there will be hell to pay - all around. If this is the end, then I didn't like the unfinished nature of the story. We don't know what happened in the room or in their marriage. The confrontational part of the story is missing. If there is part 2, then we'll just have to wait and see where you go with it.

When best laid plans quickly go down in flames. A case of ‘seller beware”.

Question 1: Did his fantasy trigger Crystal getting excited about it and doing it for real on her own in Cleveland or was this not the first time? The fact that she used the name Crystal (his idea) and the dress she purchased for the event makes me think it's the former.

Question 2: While I don't remember the exact details, but years ago there was a story about a situation that this story reminded of. Essentially this man put out an Ad in the paper pretending to be a woman who had rape fantasies that she wanted to live out. He corresponded with the men in writing pretending to be this woman, and basically told this one particular man that "her" fantasy was for him to break into her apartment, rape her, that she is going to "play" like she is resisting and for him to keep going.

Of course, the woman knew nothing about it. If I remember correctly both the rapist and the one that set it up were brought up on charges (the police obviously were able to figure out who the man was, and if I remember correctly it was someone she had rebuffed, but could be wrong). So the question is does Crystal go to the police after the rape and is the husband and Tony prosecuted as well. Because what the husband set up is rape and if Tony goes along with it, and Crystal complains then they're up the shit creek.

It would have been better if he gave the key to Tony and told him Crystal was waiting for him, without the not taking no for an answer bit. As soon as Tony shows up with the key she'd realize her husband knew and her world would crumble. No need to get all creepy and add rape to the whole thing.

Looks promising

and they think no one will be burned??

That one took a.little different path to the end, but I really enjoyed it. Don't think I've seen a story where the wife gets caught like this. A second chapter would be very welcome.

Part 2 please! :)

hilarious

Add my vote to the “next chapter please” crowd. This is a great start, and would be a fine ending as is, but damn, I want to see what happens next!

When I read a story about a couple that have hit a dry spell and decide to play games to improve it I see trouble. My guess would be that as the both filled out their little slips of paper little evil grins and laughs were going off in their heads.

With each slip of paper came a more daring challenge. When this challenge was put in the jar it was with the idea they would both be there to prevent anything bad from happening.

Yes the stupid wife got ahead of her self and did the wrong thing, but did what she did warrant a possible rape as he told Tony that when she says no she doesn't really mean it.

Do I see a marriage in ruin, yes. Do I see a way back, no. They both have now committed an act to not sink the marriage but to obliterate it. Crystal would have been better off coming clean than trying to buffalo her husband.

Can’t wait to read Shattering Crystal 2, just wondering from which POV, Tony’s or Crystal/Angie’s? Regardless, it’ll be another great read!

Love story, but really hoping you don't leave it as setting her up for rape. Letting her get the fear, while knowing her husband knows, and then have him rescue her long enough to leave her. I can't see any man who truly loves his wife to want her to endure a painful rape - that's worse than having her killed. I do have faith KB will do something other than what the incels want!

I don't think she had been cheating before Cleveland. I'm not sure, but I believe she drew the slip before she went to Cleveland, and for some reason, maybe she found it especially hot, sh decided to act it out on her own, and got carried away.

I don't especially mind his sending the guy up, I could MAYBE be talked into the "rough sex," but the "no doesn't always mean no?" Uh-huh, and besides, so when DOES it mean no?

Personally, I would have either walked in with the guy, or NOT given him the key card and just left, maybe packing up and leaving before she got home.

Has a lower melting temperature. Yep, Angie/Crystal got hot quickly.

Is much more reflective. Yep, Angie/Crystal sure looked good on her perch.

And has a higher density. Yep Angie/Crystal was very dense in her thinking.

She definitely is appropriately named in this story!

Fun story, thanks for sharing! Please keep writing!

Will look forward to Part 2, if you decide to write it. If not - this was a great short story and could stand alone.

5 stars..... be rough and fuck her up the ass stranger!!

Would love for there to be a part 2 .

Is it necessary a part 2? Until the husband "handed him the key card and told him the room number" all was clear and finished...But that stupid act requires a part 2...And as some other comment said, her behavior and his response destroyed completely this marriage...3* for now

She cheated and didn't want to get caught. She wanted her cake and be able to eat it also. Sounds like the divorce is going to shatter her. Thats the part I want to read.

Looking forward to a part 2 and even a part 3, great start

His wife is a cheating bitch and has probably been fucking around on all her travel but, the husband telling the guy that she likes it rough and to not take no for an answer can lead to some serious violence or even accidental death if she fights too hard. Divorce her is one thing letting her get beat to fuck is criminal. I'm interested if you decide to finish this story as I normally love your stories. I'll wait to score it until I read what happens next.

Really? You're just trying to be like JPB who doesn't finish stories. It's not cute or good, finish your damn story or don't post unfinished ones.

As for shattering Crystal, when did that happen? Is that supposed to be when he sent the asshole up to RAPE her? I don't care what she did RAPE is not the answer. 1*

I think it stands as it is, but if you want to write chapter 2 I won't complain.

Can't wait for part 2.

and would love to see a continuation. I wonder if there could be yet another twist in this sordid tale.

Shards, little bits, will be all that are left of Crystal once Tony bangs her brains out and then she discovers it is not her husband doing it!

As we began to read your story my wife and I assumed it would be just another typical “Wife Flirts in Hotel Bar and Fucks Stranger” story. However, what an amazing way to end your extremely well-written story; kudos!

We have played this little hotel bar game many times and it is a lot of fun. However, while my wife will sometimes fuck a stranger, when we are playing this game, she would never fuck another man without my agreement ahead of time. And, she would never lie to me. Crystal was a deceitful liar and the husband handled it appropriately.

Your story is so fine, so complete, and so perfect just like it is. How would you top that by writing a sequel? Again, we both thank you for a wonderful story.

"Love story, but really hoping you don't leave it as setting her up for rape." - I don't know how you can have that hope. Look at the last sentence: "I called up an uber and went out to meet it." He's gone, he's not going to be there to rescue her.

Now, KB may pull a fast one on us, and have him turn around, but if he intended to "rescue" her, why set her up for rape in the first place? Wouldn't the "rough sex" have been enough? Besides, he gave the guy his key card, how is he going to get in the room to rescue her?

I'm going to have to give this one a two.

A part 2 with the aftermath would make for a fascinating read.

where husband is not a whimp

5starrs

I’m a fan of your work, but don’t get this story. The main character wants the wife to act sexually at a bar with strange men because it’s his fantasy. When she gets caught up in the fantasy and goes too far, thus fulfilling her fantasy, he gets pissed. Main character is a little boy who doesn’t know what he wants.

If setting his wife up to be raped is not being a wH(?)imp then I fear for anyone that crosses you.

I have thought of a twist that would fuck most of us over...it turns out that she did play the game in Cleveland. She played by the exact rules, except her husband wasn't there, so when fully turned on, she returned to her room and bashed one out, on her own.

Just so happens that Tony was the one she was playing with and he didn't take it well that she flirted with him then dumped him, hence the argument and ruining her mood for the evening...

Now Tony has carte blanche to exact what he sees in his tiny little as 'revenge' for being denied what is rightfully his.

When the bloody remains are identified the next day, Dan is arrested for rape and murder. Or she fights Tony off and goes home and kicks her husband's arse as he no longer has anyone to do the dirty work for him.

Oops!!

C'mon KB, don't keep us waiting.

First, thought: why are so many guys who sway wives and make their husbands cuckolds named "Tony"? If I name my infant son "Anthony" will he be cursed to only find erotic fulfillment doinking some other guy's cum bucket? I suggest next time call the guy "Everett", so eventually you can worm in the punchline " He was the best sex I Everett had"

Second thought: can this story be some kind of Sybil schizophrenic thing? How original THAT would be. A wife who transforms depending on what clothes she's wearing. The plotlines are infinite.

Third thought: okay I get that he is behaving with bitter hostility, but they were playing a high risk game to begin with. Why go apeshit after he was implicitly involved in the "fantasy"? Come on Mister Uber, time to play that Michael Jackson song "Man in the mirror" and admit you were playing with fire and now that you have gotten burned you want to blame others.

Fourth thought: I so much look forward to King Bandor stories , your character development is exceptional and the sex is raunchy and sweaty. You are the D H Lawrence of Literotica

Yeah, good twist, having Tony mess with her for leaving him with a case of blue balls in Cleveland. Only thing - why didn't she SAY that, instead of pretending that she never saw him before, especially with him knowing "Crystal."

having the husband setting up his wife to get raped is fucked up he is going to end up with a cheating wife and a prison sentence

This is great plot deviation with a rapey twist. Stands alone just fine. I don't have to like the characters to enjoy the story. Its a cautionary tale. I don't see how finishing the story could improve it. I cant vote 6 stars.

I can see the Tony/Crystal confrontation in the hotel room going not as the husband had envisioned but with Crystal/Angie recognizing Tony right away, absolutely refusing his advances and getting the story from him of how her husband had sent Tony up to their room with sex on his mind. She now realizes that her husband knows about her and Tony in Cleveland and she has been outed as a cheater. Yet, what her husband did, takes him down a notch from the moral high ground he was on as the cheated upon party. The husband has the greater outrage but Crystal now has some ammunition of her own. Probably makes for a very angry, messy divorce.

Was Cleveland a first time for Crystal? Her ability to lie so easily and plausibly to her husband's pointed questions makes me wonder.

Hope you're going to keep this one going. I (and probably a lot of other folks) are hoping the same.

On one hand I enjoyed the short succinct nature of this story. On the other hand I really wanted to see the fallout and devastation. In either case I think goading Tony into raping his soon to be ex wife is a little too far. Sure, send him up there for her surprise and let her realize what it means exactly, but go ahead and rape her...a bit much in my opinion. Loved the story all in all.

Honestly, from the cheating, highly deceitful wife, to the unsuspecting husband trying highly dangerous sex games with her; add in some BTB and an open-ended finish, and what we got is something that would definitely fit well under JPB's huge library - only missing the bar were the couple were being called the Landing Strip, and the waitress serving them being Pauline French!

Do yeah, if I'm going to start comparing one of LIT's biggest legends with another author's work... well yeah, it's going to be highly favorable. Like Bob, even when you're not at all done with what Bandor wrote, you still respect his writing. Which, by the way, is actually getting better and better.

That being said... This opened end definitely can ends up giving us some kind of RAAC here, which would turn the MC here from a sad bastard to a pathetic moron. Let's be clear here: Angie's adultery is bad enough, but her ability to convincingly lie at the drop of a hat to cover her ass is, in my book, the main reason why her marriage should be dead now. There's a case to be made that, if she came out clean about her cheating, she could have somehow save her relationship (btw, that is genuinely crazy that I'm writing this... reading so many LW disasters made me see most unions in a dark shade of grey - 'turns out a character can indeed salvage their union after a moronic decision, if he/she truly care about their spouse... sometimes... not often, though); her lying, though, makes it completely improbable for anyone, let alone her husband, to believe she wouldn't do such a thing ever again, in the future.

Since I see this whole thing as a JPB-type of story, I'm OK with how it ended - I guess I'm used to it... but getting a proper ending out of it would actually be OK. 'Just have to hope it makes sense to what has come before.

I am in the middle of writing part 2. it is coming along nicely.

KB

I'll withhold judgement, but I don't see how you can salvage this. If you simply sent Tony up, or even had him go up with Tony to confront her, there would be good possibilities for what happens next.

But sending him up to essentially rape her? Whatever happens, or doesn't happen, he's gone a bridge too far, unless somehow Tony doesn't do it AND doesn't out him.

Ending not my cuppa. Just up to and including the lights out part it was OK.

I think she should admit it and cuck the poor hubby, it was his fantasy, and she did her part. he (hubby) was hard as hell the complete time, thinking of his wife getting fingered at the bar. just go for it.

"Crystal likes it really rough, and loves to roleplay," - If Tony played with her the prior weekend, I'm sure he knows how she likes it!

Look for it in a couple of days. There may even be a part 3....

or not.

I enjoyed the twist with Tony in the bar as he recognized Crystal from Cleveland. I don't know if infidelity has been discovered in similar fashion in other LW stories but it seemed unique to me. I really appreciated your description of Crystal in the dress she was almost wearing. Five stars.

enjoyed this opening gambit, hope we get some insight into Crystal's reasons for betrayal of vows.

As always mate

They say you shouldn’t defile your own nest, so she went out on the road. Sucky timing for her. Nice revenge for him.

Wow, whatertheodds, huh? If this was real life I could just about see it happening. The stars alighned for her, in a very bad way, just like the old gypsy said - lol. anyone who gets that old 'Archer' reference gets three points.

So far a good story, sad, but good.

The odds are slim, but I have met neighbours on different continents and unless they were stalking me ....

You normally write stories which take a nosedive during the last chapters. This one crashed already during the first.