by Harddaysknight
I won't say too much and spoil it for other readers.<BR>
Definitely one of your very best, and one of the best of all time of its type.
I would start seeing movies again if I knew that this story was going to be a scene in one of them. A very inventive tale.
Not much to say. Another good story from one of my favorite authors. Thanks for writing.
Revenger did you not read the story or not understand it? Your comment makes no sense.
Dan is obviously the (very) tight end, QB Nicole fumbles (but it turns out it was a fake fumble), Marge is the down and dirty halfback and Debbie is the (obviously) frustrated free safety.
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Dan is the kind of player that the only way he can score is to tell him the play is Big Dog 17 left when the real play is Lazy Red right 12.
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Marge picks up the fake fumble, laterals to a surprisingly alert Nicole who in turn throws a bomb to Dan who makes a miraculous one hand catch, scores the touchdown, bangs his head on the goal post and wakes up in Hawaii for the pro bowl where he finds he is a substitute.
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Meanwhile Steve, who is the sports anchor at the local station enthralls the listening audience - both of them - as he explains how the Mudhens won on a last second hail fellow well met pass. Steve got a contract with a bigger station in Ogallala and lived happily ever after.
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Ummm, I think I have it right - just a precis, nada más.
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Great story, hdk, the famous double con in action! Fun read.
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Regards, Jack
ALWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR STORIES YOU NEVER DISAPPOINT...OF COURSE YOURS ARE NOT AS GOOD AS "REVENGER"...OH THATS RIGHT THAT MORON HAS CONTRIBUTED NOTHING TO THIS SITE EXCEPT PSYCHOTIC RANTS...HE IS ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS WHO WILL KEEP LOOKING BACK AT COMMENTS TO SEE IF ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING ABOUT HIM SO HE CAN RESPOND...WELL ENOUGH OF MY RANT...HDK THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR TALENT
At this time there are seven comments. Six comments gave you a score of 100, and "Revenger" gave you 0 and a bunch of semi-literate criticism. Do you suppose that he is correct???
You always write an interesting story, often with a clever
surprising twist. Please keep them coming.
This is a great example of why I love your stories. You have a talent for exploring the little games that couples sometimes play with one another that makes life very interesting. This is number two on my list of favorite stories by you. Number one is the story of the husband shooting his wife's lover in the nuts with a pellet gun when he finds them screwing.
Keep up the great writing,
Boyd
All anybody can say if he/she/it is not a moron is amazing.
HDK, another winner. I love the way you end your stories with the twist. Thank You. Ronnie W.
I guess he heard it over the radio while she knew he was driving to the parts store? The ending was good from the point of view of him giving Debbie then his wife a good going over but very poor in that she planned for him to know what was going on and would surpise her someway with the trip. The wife all along assumed he was really drunk and was planning on waiting downstairs for a bit for him to wake up. It is not logical for her to make the final statements she did. Had it been me, Hawaii would be last place in the world she would have ever visited! Deceit, disrespect, and betrayal come in many forms, this wife is all of those. Divorce papers would have been a more logical ending to this.
Then the ending hit. How was she supposed to have Dan overhear the conversation if he was driving to the parts store?? Other than that, I loved it. Husband and wife getting busy and not with anyone outside the marriage. Awesome story.
Is this story a Joke ?
Is it serious Like OHIO's superb blue Minivan?
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Look I know some one will say its just a story. But also I dont think its wrong for me to expect a little bit or REASON in a HDK story. I dont expect that in a JPB story.
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How exactly was it even remotely possible for her to deduce that Dan had over heard everything... and that the pool conversations with Marge was some sort of a GAME ..something like a CIA double scheme?
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if so WHY would Debbie go along with it ? I love the plot twist at the end but I dont see how it works.
I got to think about this one....
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Hmmmm......
Luckily we have enough of them to keep us from sleeping.
I can not understand how people can comment without reading the whole story. If you remember Dan took off in his car to buy a part but went back to pick up the defective one and then overheard the conversation at the pool. And apparently was seen by his wife.
Lots of fun, I was afraid for a moment that we were going to have the friend Marge blackmailing him for sex or he was going to catch the two girls doing it at the pool, but how it went was very well written..
..without reading the whole thing, but I couldn't get past the stilted dialog and preposterous set-up. The plan to blackmail her husband by conning him into believing he fucked around while drunk is a convoluted and flimsy plot device. And the self-indulgent "handyman" boasting lent nothing to the story. Also, the positive comments sound like you wrote them yourself.
<p>My theory to answer the comments of those who can't get past her knowing that Dan was in the kitchen:</p>
<p><i>Nicole sneaked up on Dan when he was asleep (she seems to like to do things to him when he is asleep) and stapled a global positioning device to his ass. From that point forward using her SuperDuper global positioning system and decoding device wrist watch, she always knew where Dan's ass was within one meter.</i></p>
<p>Here is another possible theory, although this one isn't nearly as cool:</p>
<p>Sometimes an HDK story requires a healthy suspension of disbelief in order to work his twists and turns into the fabric of the story. When I read an HDK story, I'm there looking for the punchline, trying to assimilate the humor. This one was a very funny story from the very beginning.</p>
<p>To those of you who have trouble with the logic of some of HDK's stories: relax and read them for the humor and twists. I think you will enjoy them a whole lot more.</p>
Harddaysknight i think you have a winner i couldnt stop laughing I think Nicoles plan worked for her But Dan got the upper hand on her and other places also a beautiful story HD.
About 3/4 of the way through, I was thinking a different ending but I enjoyed this one just as much. As I said in a comment in an an earlier story, it is getting increasingly difficult to find new twists in the LW category. Fortunately, HDK can do it.
one more paragaph would have made it perfect. why he did not have the part? that needed to be addressed to have all bases covered.
i like your stories. A LOT. i would love to write as well as you
nonsense; didn't even pretend to be any story of any value.
I'm still laughing at this sneaky pair who were perfect for each other. This story was not only funny it was HOT! HDK, I didn't know you had it in you...very sexy.
And what was the plan if the wrist was Marge's? Shotgun law {Steve's} may have 12 gauged a different scenario - or he may have just sold tickets and taken odds - or not.<P>
Author - next try to work a little - just a smidgen - of imagination into your journey.<P>
Great Stuff by a resident Story Teller - another helping please.<P>
P.S. - woe the day the Beattles titles run out to the levee - Perhaps some Segar eh!<P>
With Very High Regard
Still can't believe that some good things, as your stories, come to us for free. Well, almost. We do owe, thanks and if needed - explanations; every one should enjoy. And perhaps as THE BULLET suggests - HDK is an acquired taste, but trust me,it's a taste worth acquiring.
I don't think she wanted to admit what an ass she was, so she pretended that it was only misdirection. She realized that Dan must somehow have known, so best to pretend that was the plan all along. I hope he can use this to get her out of her spoiled mindset and get a better balance to the marriage,
Humor is the toughest thing to write. Some of us just aren't funny. What really hurts is to see something like this that looks so efortless.
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It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. Generally, it's just a little chuckle. The bedroom scene had me holding my sides.
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I do know that those whose life experince has taught them that women can't be trusted would have trouble with this story, and I'm sorry for that. I understand, but part of what makes HDK a master is that you can see from the start that it's a setup. Cliches and all.
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Thanks for making my morning.
Nicole's try at the save was good, but I don't think Dan bought it. What a great story about the double fake. Turn things around and see her try to save it, while getting a few bonus pleasures on the way. She can't say a word! Very funny as usual HDK. Thank You!
HDK, Kudos! i keep thinking of 'I Love Lucy' while reading your story. great read.
After I finished wiping the extra tears (extra laughing) from the GPA wicked suggestion by thebullet – (Ha! I got your name right this time), I thought about the questioning. So, there are two main options we can work on: <P>
1. THE WIFE DID KNOW about him overhearing her scheme. HOW did she know? well, how about seeing his car coming back; seeing him coming back; overhearing him coming back; detecting signs of him being around after he left with the part and concluding that he might have heard them, or simply catching him picking at them and STARTING THE WHOLE SCHEME KNOWING THAT HE WOULD LISTEN. <P>
2. THE WIFE DID NOT KNOW about him overhearing them. HOW DID SHE LEAREN ABOUT IT? 2A THE SIMPLE DEDUCTION: certainly by the time she found the itinerary to Hawaii, combined with his miraculous recovery from his drunken stupor she put one and one and came with the unavoidable conclusion that A. she was caught with her scheme; B. she has an especially kind husband, who decided to look at the big picture; let the natural consequences of her stupid scheme - i.e. the embarrassment with in front of her friends and the guests teach her a lesson, and C. she understands that the underlying message- i.e. that of the husband’s relative ‘deafness’ regarding her hints to go on vacation has been heard –hence the itinerary. [Special time for more serious talks should be set aside for her M.O. on the matter –but that would violate the genre of the story of course]. To save face she is coming out claming to have known all along. <P>
2B. THE CREEPING SUSPISION: Which is a variation of 2A, the wife who presumably knows her husband pretty well, is getting suspicious, but can’t say a thing as this was her ploy. Similarly both women friends must have suspected that he is not as drunk as he is supposed to be (up to a point alcohol suppresses psychological inhibitions, which would make you more “daring”, but beyond a moderate level –especially on a stupor level, you are not much better in the sack then a sack of potatoes), but so a great opportunity for some safe fun while pretending to “help” their misguided friend (and preaching to her at the same time!). The Suspicion version explains the wife’s angry exclamations to her husband while he was “drunkenly” groping her friends. By the time he vigorously has sex with her and the itinerary is dropped, her suspicions are confirmed of course. <P>
DEAR AUTHOR: don’t even think of writing simplified stories. The more you write the better you get. You will educate the taste of those who are willing to pay attention and read carefully, and as for the rest, oh well, there is so much trash to read out there.
<p>Well......</p>
<p>The story had me except that there were a couple parts that didn't make sense. Like this part of: <i>On Friday morning, George Harmon handed me a plastic pill cylinder with a couple of very blue pills in it.</i>, where the heck did <b><i>George Harmon</i></b> come from? Who was he? Where did Dan meet him to get the pills? We know the "why" of Dan meeting him, but what did he say and how did he agree to get Dan to give him some of his private stock? There really wasn't a leading up to him, no reason for him offering him those "Little blue pills" he just appeared and disappeared as fast as he came in the story. And the second point was that he seems awful "cavalier" about his wife trying to manupliate him. I still don't know why he put up with someone who was oblviously trying to manupliate him in such a calous way. I mean one part of the story says he left, but then he returned to the house to the part he left. How would Nicole have known that he was back? Did he announce it? Was the house loud enough that they heard him? Did he have a really loud car? If you mention that she staged the conversation for his benifit, then I'm really curious how she knew when to start talking?</p?
<p>I thought it was funny up till the end. Then ........ I guess I didn't understand. His wife was trying to manipulate him, and for some reason he went along with it? I guess I have to parrot back your character Debbie's question: <i>It sounds like positive reinforcement of a bad habit to me.</i> Why would he do it then? </p>
<p>While I believe you were trying for the "I Love Lucy" TV show feel, I always wondered why Ricky didn't divorce her and find someone who created less drama for him in his life (^_^)</p>
<p>Nice story, but confusing in the middle and at the end</p>
-Risq
Joesephus has said it all for me but in a lot less words then I would use. So funny and I love this humorous look at life with a totally self-centered wife and her screwed up friends. It is like a great little sitcom of misfit friends.<p>Please people enjoy the humor, not all things in this life should be taken seriously. Life is just too short.<p>Thank you so much for the uplifting chuckle.<p>PT
Interesting hypothetical and educated guess work. Comments below
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<i>1. THE WIFE DID KNOW about him overhearing her scheme. HOW did she know? well, how about seeing his car coming back; seeing him coming back; </i>
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No that is a 2nd order conjecture... and that is a No no here at lit.
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<i> overhearing him coming back; </i>
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No that is a 1ST order conjecture... <b>WHY didnt she stage this fake conversation right away? why did she have to WAIT for him to come back to the house/ </b>
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<i> detecting signs of him being around after he left with the part and concluding that he might have heard them, </i>
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That means the wife had to Know that he knows is Just a ploy/ trick. seems like an awfullly BIIIIIIIG risk to take
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<i> or simply catching him picking at them and STARTING THE WHOLE SCHEME KNOWING THAT HE WOULD LISTEN. </i>
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Again that is a 2nd order conjecture
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<i> 2. THE WIFE DID NOT KNOW about him overhearing them. HOW DID SHE LEAREN ABOUT IT? 2A THE SIMPLE DEDUCTION: </i>
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lets see
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<i> certainly by the time she found the itinerary to Hawaii, combined with his miraculous recovery from his drunken stupor she put one and one and came with the unavoidable conclusion that A. she was caught with her scheme; B. she has an especially kind husband, who decided to look at the big picture; let the natural consequences of her stupid scheme - i.e. the embarrassment with in front of her friends and the guests teach her a lesson, and C. she understands that the underlying message- i.e. that of the husband’s relative ‘deafness’ regarding her hints to go on vacation has been heard –hence the itinerary. [Special time for more serious talks should be set aside for her M.O. on the matter –but that would violate the genre of the story of course]. To save face she is coming out claming to have known all along. </i>
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This is your best line of reasoning and most probable
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<i> 2B. THE CREEPING SUSPISION: Which is a variation of 2A, the wife who presumably knows her husband pretty well, is getting suspicious, but can’t say a thing as this was her ploy. Similarly both women friends must have suspected that he is not as drunk as he is supposed to be (up to a point alcohol suppresses psychological inhibitions, which would make you more “daring”, but beyond a moderate level –especially on a stupor level, you are not much better in the sack then a sack of potatoes), but so a great opportunity for some safe fun while pretending to “help” their misguided friend (and preaching to her at the same time!). The Suspicion version explains the wife’s angry exclamations to her husband while he was “drunkenly” groping her friends. By the time he vigorously has sex with her and the itinerary is dropped, her suspicions are confirmed of course. </i>
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DEAR AUTHOR: don’t even think of writing simplified stories. The more you write the better you get. You will educate the taste of those who are willing to pay attention and read carefully, and as for the rest, oh well, there is so much trash to read out there.
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<b>I could not agree more. I have enjoyed this story and IMMENSELY.... and I have been thinking of the endig for several hours now. Franklu as an intellectual excerise I am stimulated no end!!!</b>
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I will head out to lunch (wendy's maybe ) and think about this some more.
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I raise my score to 75
A fun read as we always expect from HDK. Always a good day when I find one of his stories posted and today there are two. Gotta go read the other one now. HDK, thanks for the effort.
It's great to just "unlax" and let a story take you where it will. When you read an HDK story, you know all of the technical details of the story telling craft are going to be taken care of so all you have to do is scroll down the screen to enjoy each new line. Personally, I've downloaded all of his stories so I can enjoy them again and again offline. Kudos, HDK. Another fine story. Enjoyed it very muchly. :)
Not funny. Not erotic. Just piss-poor crap for the weak minded creeps that will extol the virtues of the writer. The other writers will all tell HDK how talented he is and how the story was wonderful so they can depend on his vote for their next pathetic submission. They ALWAYS scratch each others backs.
Thank you for the consideration and for sharing your thoughts. I have a question though. What do you mean by 1st and 2nd order conjectures?
I am familiar with the concept of filling gaps – but that is considered to be not only a legitimate procedure in reading fiction, but in fact a necessary one, which we do in part automatically and all through the process of the reading. All the gaps that we fill are assumptions which we take to be logical per each story. The one type of assumptions which indeed is a categorical ‘no no’ would be of those which contradict the text. But I can’t see what in my assumptions contradict anything in the text. <P>
IMO, while there is no certainty (and there need not be one) about the particular way she might have been alerted to her husband coming back, none of my suggestions is by itself far fetched; illogical; or impossible as an option per the story. For example, I can recognize the familiar sounds in my house and around it; and it’s not like the husband was coming back with a decision to snick quietly. It’s only after he was close enough to hear the conversation that he decided to leave without letting them know that he came back. In fact, if he was close enough to hear them, it’s more likely than not that they could have heard him coming back with the normal noises of someone not sneaking quietly. <P>
As far as your question about the timing of their fake ploy. It’s a bit tricky. They would want to make it look like it’s real. If they initiated it when they knew that he would be aware of their knowledge of him being around (sorry about that), they would have known that he would have suspected their motivation to bring up such outrageous plot knowing that he might be hearing it. Then, they would have concluded, that he would have dismissed it as an effort to pull his leg. Only under the curtain of full pretence of not being aware of him being around that they could have made the effort to sell this ploy as authentic. Remember all that is under the sub category of the wife trying to influence her husband into either offering her a preemptive trip or going along and (in her mind) paying a price for it (I would have to assume that she did not figure out all the counter measures he could take once becoming aware of that plan). <P>
Still –there is the possibility that she was not aware of his coming back and that she truly wanted to set him up without him having a clue about it. That option led me to the second part. What I don’t see though, is how the second part is more solid than the first. IMO, they both involve (to different degrees) the reader filling gaps – or creating hypotheses.
No matter whether she knew he was listening or not, she was purposely trying to "play" her husband, because primarily as far as he knew, she was really going to try to make him think he had cheated on her and, again as far as he knew, she was willing to let him go on thinking this. If it was me, the last thing she would ever get was a trip to Hawaii. It may have been better for him to let her think he thought he had fucked Debbie, and instead of trying to make it up to her by the trip act as if he was so devastated by it the only solution was divorce because he was no longer worthy of her.
HDK, I have enjoyed just about every other story you posted, but this one doesn't make sense. Your story portrays a wife willing to do anything to get her husband to take her to Hawaii. She is willing to drug him, and set him up so that it appears that he has cheated on her. What is interesting is that they are NOT loaded in cash. You make that clear since he is fixing a dishwasher on the weekend, instead of golfing with the woman's husband who drives an expensive car. Lets look at this logically: He overhears that his wife is willing to drug him (excessive drinking also counts), and set him up so it appears that he cheated on her, just so she can go to Hawaii. Hmmm. Somethings sounds really screwed up here. Why would any woman who loves her husband want to drug him(risking his health), and risk the damage that this will cause to the relationship? Maybe it is a joke to her, but it sure doesn't seem so to the husband. He sounds like someone who loves his wife, and takes his marriage vows very seriously. So what will this little conversation do to him? Probably cause him to wonder who he married, and whether or not her can ever trust her again. He would expect his wife to support and help him; not to set him up and abuse him. This kind of act could cause severe depression, and serious marital issues. He may never be able to forgive himself. I believe he is a man of integrity & honesty. I believe he might have gone along with it similar to what initially happened, but I would have changed the endding. He may or may not have had sex with his wife, but instead of giving her a trip to Hawaii it should be legal seperation papers or divorce papers. He should shock her completely. he should tell her he knows all about the scheme, and not only will she not be going to Hawaii, but one of them (his choice) is moving out the next day. He should tell her that her attempted manipulation has seriously damaged the marriage, and he has lost a lot of both trust and respect for her. If she wants to fix this marriage, if it is not too late, she will need to go into counselling, and they will take marriage counselling together. Until the marriage is fixed, no sex, seperate bedrooms - if not seperate housing. Let her worry that she may have driven him away, and there are plenty of available women that would go with him in a heartbeat. Is the marriage savable? Maybe. I would say a lot would depend on how she reacts to therapy. If it was to survive, I'd have lawyers draw up a post-nuptial agreement and insist on lie detector tests for both fidelity and lying. She needs to know that IF he accepts her back, 1 more screw-up and not only will she lose him, but she will lose a lot finacially in the divorce to follow. I'm very disappointed that your endding showed he gave in.
another excellent story by my favorite writer on LIT. Not one of your best, but you have so many great ones, how could it be. Still better than 99% of what is submitted as Loving Wives. Nuff said..keep on posting.
All of HDK's stories, or nearly all, are enlivened by his great ability to write humorous lines; but this one is surely at the very top of the list.
Among the many lines that cracked me up, the absolute best was the one about the parts salesman needing "grief counseling".
HDK, you're a true original! Keep it up--and thanks, ohio
I made a bad error in my previous post. He did overhear his wife say she didn't want to hurt him, or use drugs on him. Although that lessens the severity of this, we still have a case of blatant manipulation and the perception of wrong doing. If the husband had not overheard the conversation, and did get drunk he may feel remorse and be depressed for "cheating" on his wife. That leads to a lose-lose situation: does she keep the secret and let him go on for years with the guilt and depression or does she spill the beans and tell him what she did. I still feel the husband should give the wife some payback for pulling that crap on him. Maybe he should give her a 1 person ticket for Hawaii, and tell her to enjoy herself because 1) he won't be living at home when she gets back or 2) she will need to find a new place to live after she returns. Sorry, but I won't go along with the majority and condone this type of manipulation. I would demand a seperation and marriage counselling. A reconciliation would require all parties come clean; including the "helpful friend" to her husband. I expect my wife to be my best friend and to watch my back; this is an example of blackmail/extortion and back stabbing. It would hurt the marriage, and may cause it to end. I'm sorry very few people also saw the potential danger this situation could lead to. Oh well, I'll look forward to HDK's next story - no one satisfies 100% of the people 100% of the time.
I start feeling like am HDK’s Lawyer, only I am not, nor do I wish to feel that I will soon need to prove my independence by looking for the first opportunity to discover some weakness in HDK’s stories (actually just look at the other recent story…).<P>
The reason I am posting again is that, in my opinion, this story is truly a remarkable one, and at the same time there are two types of misunderstanding which I see in many comments –both are not HDK’s fault. The story is at the same time subtle and complex. The complexity is in the restrictive selection of POV. We are never allowed into the mindset of the wife. It allows for fantastic shifts and surprises but it forces the reader to work on constructing working hypotheses. The subtlety is in the humor and it reflects mostly through the use of the language. I can see how a reader who misses the humor indication in the language could be puzzled by the whole drift of the plot. Who would even want to deal with someone so terrible like hthis wife? TRUE –only if it was in earnest. It’s harder to grasp the humor because the content itself DOES NOT tell you directly that this is not to be taken seriously. In fact, THE SAME NARRATIVE could be easily turned into a very dark story just by changing the use of the language. That’s why I say that the humor comes mostly through the use of the language and not so much (there is some of the sit com at the end, but you laugh througout the story) through the situations. <P>
RISQ, I feel that you got it just right with the example of “I love Lucy”. She was a hustle. One could indeed say why did he even bother to stay with her? (Although Ricky was quite the macho man himself…). But they loved each other and at the base they would never think of cheating on each other - misguided and confused as they could otherwise be, and they knew it. With that great example at your hands I can’t understand how could you ascribe then callousness to the wife in the story? Say mindlessness say manipulative and I am with you. As far as the cavalier approach, I don’t know how you got that. Seems to me he prepared for her quite a spicy dish of humble pie in his counter scheming! <P>
But the most important thing I want to say is simple. We should never comment on a story out of its genre. If we miss read the genre all our understanding could be totally skewed. Watching the fights of the clowns hitting each other in the circus and not realizing the context could lead one to alarm the police (much to the chagrin of every one else…). If one wishes to argue that the story is NOT meant to be read as a comic piece, most likely a comedy of manners, where at the end love and harmony are restored despite some temporary disturbances, then we can work on establishing the comic foundations of the story. But apparently no one argues that. It just seems that it somehow gets forgotten because the plot itself is not light enough all the time. Well, in fact most comedies do have dark middle from which they rise towards the end. In that respect HDK keeps to tradition, only we have not read here too many comedies of manners of late...
that was great. unfortunately, some readers are too straightlaced to appreciate the humor of your stories. life is good.
Things just looked so bad for Nicole till the end, driving her nuts.. I thought he was gonna screw 'em all for a minute there!! Some really funny stuff there!!
Great humor all the way through. Those that can't smile and then laugh at this are just taking things too seriously.
HDK: just wanted you to know i was taking notes through the whole thing... gotta get me that trip to Hawaii! Remind me to send you photos of me in a bikini as thanks.
My point is made. How many times has that fucking idiot called Kolkore voted on this submission? Always with the highest vote possible. The true quality of a story is lost when the asshole writers attempt only to reward themselves by stuffing the ballot box. The writers have taken over this site. Where did the authors go? There were never very many authors in the first place. Now, there are almost none.
of your two explanations... Number 2 e makes the most sense. She and her friend DID not know her husband over heard them talking... the plan backfired on her.... and shen she gound the trip to Hawaii had been bought ot paid for she put two and two together to spin this as "oh well I planned to do that..."
raised score to 100
Enourmusly entertaining, and light hearted. Lotsa fun.
The other commenters below though, seemed to be working hard at ruining the effect. Maybe you should turn the comments off or something if these morons continue to phsychoanalyse everything you write. It really wrecks the mood. Fucking idiots.
This was very cute. Short and to the point. Good satire. Please write more like this.
don,t ya just love it, when a plan cums togather! YOU OUT DID YOUR SELF ON THIS ONE HOSS! keep Up tha good work. we all need a little hmmmmmmmmm, in our life. ....... rich
I seem to remember reading that somebody famous made a deathbed statement along the lines of "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." Apparently, some have missed the humor here. Thanks, HDK!
Your light farcial touch overcomes my resistance to your fantasies. Lot's of fun. Thanks!
How do we tell these idiots who take themselves so seriously that this is humor (and damn good humor at that) As far as manipulation goes, I defy anyone in a good lasting marraige not to be both manipulated, and to use manipulation. It happens, get over it. it is real life.
The quote I that really covers the work of these nitpicking self righteous correspondents is This is fiction, get a life
PS HDK, thanks for some truly enjoyable reads, the twists that you think up are great
are found here. I wonder how much the wife really loves her husband. She actually tried to get him drunk in reality, she tried to set him up with a woman in bed to basically blackmail him into taking her to Hawaii. Let me see she is lying to him, deceiving him, and had her plan gone down as she planned he would have been publically humiliated. Not bad for a loving wife. She didnt cheat she set him up to appear to be a cheater to achieve her own goal. Let me see she was to afraid of him to simply say lets go to Hawaii on our vacation. At leave he got some muff for the time his wife put him thru. Myself she wanted a trip to Hawaii, I would have set up the trip, let her get on the boat and walk off at the last minute. When she got home the divorce papers would be processed and ready and her stuff in storage in her name. Dont get it, a cheater is a cheater for life, a liar is a liar for life. Marriage is based on love, lust, rrespect, and trust. You can never trust a liar every word has to be analyzed. Divorce her now and say heartbreak.
leave wife behind and take the friend to hawaii and leave wife forever
Humorous? Yes and no, if you're an androgenist yes and if not?
Damn i was laughing my ass off once they thought he was drunk and the things that happened after.
I laughed until I cried. Your mixture of obvious and subtle humor was great.
Like an ending to a MasterCard commercial, "Two tickets to Hawaii $$$, seven nights in a resort $$$, getting to put your face into your wife's friend's snatch, priceless!"
"What kind of a tramp are you?" Former friend, ha, ha, ha, ha....
Thanks and keep writing!!!!!!
You gotta love how HARD she worked to just open the dialogue - or some log - lol
What can I say but lame. If this is considered humor, then you "approvers" must watch Saturday morning cartoons and laugh your heads off.
No cheating, no cucks just a semi funny story. Just fiction however. Life doesn't work that way. Shame.
HA
closet cucks like bbl and the other one track minds. Like watching an episode of Married With Children or the Honeymooners, but rated R instead of PG.
I thought the cookie jar one somewhere else was best but this is a classic.
*****
right up to the last paragraph. When the bitch said that, Dan should have called and cancelled the whole thing. And then filed for divorce. If the bitch is that much of a schemer he needs to get away from the whore in a hurry.
First, this was a tongue in cheek type of story. Second, would you really give up a marriage because your wife manipulated you so that you got to lick a hot woman's pussy? That would be insane.
Thanks for the interesting twist at the end. I wasn't expecting that.
A bit surprised that he was not upset by the whole plan. It was the kind of plan that reveals a truly evil heart. The twist at the end, with her trying to claim she knew he was listening the whole time doesn't fit the facts.
A paragraph or three to show his jaw dropping at her claim and his rebuttal that she needs to behave better re. playing tricks on ones spouse
I don't know what really happened. The story seems focused on things that women discuss in contemplation of getting their way with their men. In this case the plot was to get a vacation trip by blackmail of sorts on an unsuspecting fool. The theme is great and the goal is realistic but the game leading to blackmail is implausible.
Yes the wife did try to manipulate him. He should have been angry. However, he was able to use it to grope two women that weren't his wife, lick some strange pussy, fuck his wife into submission in front of her friends, and have her thank him for it. I think they are even. I would however let her know that if she tried to manipulate me in the future, all bets are off. But for this time, she gets a pass. Good story.
and we should all accept it and get over it.
ask yourselves this:
if he had not come back for the dishwasher part and overheard them plotting, would it have been alright for his wife to blackmail him into a trip to Hawaii?
As the neighbor/friend said, why not just ask him to take her for a vacation without the manipulation?
If it had been me, I would have walked over to them and handed them the broken part and suggest where they could have inserted it on my way out the door.
.
'The poor guy is so drunk, he's even copping a feel from his own wife!'
Right at the end when you indicated they planned for Dan to overhear.
Should have stopped after "Dan is taking me to Hawaii."
Would have been perfect.
Since she knew he knew his tit grabs and snatch licking will cause problems.
Probably soon after returning from Maui! ;o)
If she was counting on his over hearing the plot and realizing how much she wanted to go and give her the trip, then why go through with the plot?
She had NO idea he knew anything, and that's why she was still trying to trick him.
I think he should take this opportunity to do two things -
1) Remind Nicole about the apple pie incident, and instruct her that she is NOT to volunteer his services without checking with him first.
2) Mention to Marge that when she says she "owes him" she should remember that when Nicole tries to involve her in any plots against him.
Really? That is how you end it? He takes the cunt to Hawaii? Damn this wimp got the bitch good....
for a couple of cheap feels.....TK U MLJ LV NV
totally loved it. I can see it, understand it, and appreciate it. I would consider this new world humor in a marriage.
Very clever HDK comes through again. Cross, double cross, She get the trip, he gets some fun, he knows he is being set up, but does he know that the two women knew he was outside listening? So many questions....
my second time through. So if she only said that because she knew he was listening, why was she following through with the plan? Very risky.
Fraught with disaster. The plot was pretty near bad enough to get her divorced.
I agree with KarenE, she had NO idea that he was over-hearing their plot.
I would have handed her the itinerary and say, "This is the trip I was GOING to take you on until I heard you plotting to trick me into taking you!"
I didn't like the plotting by the wife, but in reality, we all know they do just that, some more so than others. in the story, the wife said she knew he would hear them plot the escapade, but I don't believe it. how many of us readers have said "I knew about it all along", in the normal form of conversation, to avoid a little embarrassment?
I don't know about most of the readers here, but I could never deny my wife anything I had the power to give her. the story said she usually got anything she wanted, but she still plotted, and stated that she hinted for a year, seems funny she just didn't come out and tell him.
Congrats. This was clever, funny and maybe just a bit ridiculous. Five out of five. Often with your stories I want to know what happens next. But this one ended perfectly. Cheers Steve
I like how he got a handful of Marge's tit but he can't fuck her because of his buddy Steve. Hot, horny and cock starved Debbie, though, is a sure thing. She doesn't have to answer to anyone and won't give a rat's ass what Marge or Nicole think, anyway, since she's moving away and won't be seeing them again.
Or... We're to believe she knew he heard the plotted plot and got her the Hawaii vacation because of that... And yet, if she believed he knew about the plotted plot, why wasn't she ballistic about him copping feels and eating out Debbie since it meant he KNEW what he was doing...?
Basically, I guess it means she was willing to let him ACTUALLY engage in at least SOME sexual activity with someone else as long as she got the vacation...
And yeah, the moment she flipped on him about volunteering HER, he should have reamed her a new one...
No one was supposed to be mistaken for real people. And the wife especially was like an episode of I Love Lucy. What fun. No actual pussies were hurt in the writing of this story, or at least none we know of. But I digress. Good deal.
I agree, THAT would have been great, then he leaves the house and says fix your own shit from now on.
The conceit in this story is so absurd as to deserve 1*