All Comments on 'Signing up to be a Sex Slave Ch. 03'

You can't end it like that, so wrong. I kinda wished now I hadn't read it at all. I want to see the end of Amber's ordeal and I think it was wrong of Veronica to get off so easy and the organization should have to pay in some way.

Try pathetic, both in story concept and execution; no buildup of tension or interest.

An uneven story, but this last chapter had far too many errors in it to even remotely be an enjoyable read. I felt as if I needed to get out a red pen and then toss it back into your hands for corrections.

Bridal = pertaining to marriage Bridle = headgear for horses

"in the care OF" not "a"

Sight = pertaining to vision Site = location

Frustrating, sophomoric, and definitely not worth continuing.

Learn how to spell!

ignore the negativity this is a very good tale and is NOT done yet

obviously you used spell check, the typos I saw were real words, just not the right words.

Really disappointed with this 'ending'. Amber is forcibly left acting like a mindless drone (or beast) and she has to share a seeming life sentence with the bitch who screwed her over out of petty jealously, while the company do nothing.

As a writer, you set your own rules when you write a story, but once you set them you must stick to them otherwise you risk angering your readers – I admit I am irritated.

You have set up a company who signs up people/clients for four years of voluntary slavery in a placement to be fairly judged by that company – OK.

Their top trainer (Nicole in Chapter 2) stated that by the company's own rules Amber should have been placed/trained as a Mistress; but, a vindictively petty employee (Veronica) sabotaged her processing, breaking the company’s own rules – still OK.

Saying the company won't absolve Ms. King’s contract 'because it wouldn't be fair' – NOT OK.

This makes no sense within the structures of your story and quite ruins it.

A logical chain of thought keeps shouting at me that any company who so horribly abused such a basic founding principal of trust, rules and service for clients (Amber in this case) would be bankrupt in a heartbeat – without trust and rules there would be no volunteers.

I also keep thinking that the company wouldn't have to absolve anything; Veronica would be a direct substitute, upholding the contract, punishing the guilty party and mollifying Amber all in one go - then Amber would be re-trained for her originally contracted service or absolved from continuing because of her unfair treatment.

Then I get really annoyed with the whole thing and think I wish I hadn't read it at all – a pity it had potential to be an entertaining read, now I'm just left feeling annoyed.

I really enjoyed it. I especially love the the way Veronica was tormenting Amber, and had her eat her asshole in the last chapter. That was very hot.

thanks

Too many problems with the internal logic of the story . With this kind of screw ups this company would be out of business and Veronica would be a 5$ whore with STD's . Frankly the story could work but doesn't conform to it's own logic .

A BRIDLE is used on horses! Notice it ends "LE"

You used BRIDAL which is anything related to a bride, as in bridal gown, bridal veil, bridal bouquet, etc. Notice it ends with "AL".

I doubt those ponies were prancing around in bridal gowns & veils.

Amber's arch enemy sharing in Amber's fate.

a very excellent story. ending up on Mistress King's ranch would be very nice

I do not agree with the ending. Amber's contract is for four years and it looks like it may be longer based on how the story progresses. It has been about a year I assume before Veronica is processed as a ponygirl. Veronica should have taken Ambers place to be fair for the length of the contract. Now the company can get away with this as there would be few people that would know about the breech of the contract and Amber and Veronica could end up very old ponygirls. Amber should be given a way out to better serve the contract and Veronica is made to take her place. NOw that would be fair. Plus Amber gets a bigger payout at the end.