All Comments on 'Sister/Brother Always/Forever Ch. 01'

I enjoyed this story and am going to put this as succinct as I can, more please! I like your use of what I guess is past lives of soul mates. I can't wait for the next parts.

Congratulations on your first piece. It is a delightful read. I am impressed with the details and the continuity they bring to the story. I am eager for the next of (hopefully) several more chapters.

Man,could u hv written a more brilliant tale??If u think so u r mistaken. Wonderfully written.

Nicely done

oh yes brother and sister reunited more chapters

next chapter ASAP

Well written with fantastic transitions this has fantastic potential

Please do not wait to long to continue this story.......

I was sleepy and a touch tipsy when I started reading this story. I was able to hang in there only a few paragraphs. It simply didn't grab me and suck me in....not for a story at least. It may have been different if I were starting a book.

However, i will return to this story at another time simply because i was so impressed by your writing style and your artful use of language. My hat is off to you for that.

Having said that, i find, on here at least, stories written in the first person are more enticing.

The Serenity/Daemon dream/fantasy sequences are interesting in their own right. I sorta get how it's connected. To me this kind of device is more fitting for a novel. Here it feels awkward and grandiose to me. There's not enough back story developed yet to connect the dream stuff to the main character(s). Why not just tell the story straight out with shorter dream sequences until farther in? For me as reader it feels like you're asking me to put the main story line on the shelf and hold it there for a long spell -- as if the main story line isn't the story at all. Maybe I'm feeling impatient.

What you've got is well written and a pleasure to read. I hope you'll keep developing this.

Thanks!

Thank you so, so much for all the ratings and feedback that you guys have given me!! It has been amazing to me the responses I have received not only here on the comment board, but also from people that actually went to read my bio then messaged me their thoughts. I thought it might end up that there would be two views of this story, the first one being me and then the second one being me again to double the amount of views, but thankfully that is not the case. I initially planned to wait a week to see if there was even anyone that wanted to know more of the story, but after reading all the comments and messages I am already formulating chapter two in my head!

I really appreciated reading your comments! I gave serious thought as whether or not to use first-person viewpoint, as I share a similar view with you that the vast majority of stories I enjoy reading on this site are written in first person. Frankly, there are shorter stories I am considering writing that will be shorter than this and will be only first person. I am struggling to respond in a way that does not spoil something I am planning on doing in the now-likely 2nd chapter, but as everyone posting read the last paragraph of this story this will not spoil any story plots. Chapter 1 had two characters that I considered writing in first person. In Chapter 2, there will be two more people that I could also write in the first person. So by the end of the 2nd chapter, when I use the word "I", that could mean one of four characters and the reader would have figure out who else is in the scene in order to know whom that pronoun was specifying at a given time. While I would have preferred to go first person, taking away reader confusion ended up winning over a personal preference. I hope you will feel free to comment and give constructive criticism again on future submissions, I really do appreciate it!

First, thank you for leaving comments on this submission! When someone critiques either this story or my music in a constructive and intelligent way, that makes me really think hard about the comments as I always strive to improve in everything I do. Now, specifically to address what you wrote. When I was trying to decide what I was going to write my first story about, a good friend of mine had suggested a brother/sister theme. The thought immediately popped into my head of a purple-eyed man waking up from a dream and trying to figure out who the woman with purple eyes was. Some stories start out with the thought "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit"; my mind latched on to that thought of a man waking from a dream. (P.S. I will be the first person to say that in writing stories I don't even compare myself remotely to even the shadow of the level of Tolkien, but hopefully you get what I am trying to say). Once I realized I knew that was going be my story, I knew some people would easily be able to go with the flow of two related story lines going on simultaneously, and there would be some people that would not care for it. I also knew that some people would love feeling an emotional attachment to a character before the sexual component gets more heavy and prominent, and there would be others that don't like to wait that long. I totally respect your opinions, and I hope that the now-likely second chapter interests you more as the majority of the character introductions are out of the way and I can now dive into the "good stuff".

What I can say is I love how this is written and I want more. Yes, please continue.

I can tell you this, it is rare and far in between when a story or a first time writer gets his story favorited that many times in less than a week. It is very well written, an extremely well picked story and something that I will be looking for another part for until it comes. Please don't stop and please don't have us wait too long in between writing.

The first-time author is in his 30s and a professional musician. (I'm glad AM doesn't go in for the current fashion of Lit writers, pretending they're some non-sexed ageless robot.) I'm of the school that'd love to see more carnal action between the siblings in the dream story. The very sight of Daemon makes Serenity wet between her legs, and feeling her brother's big hard cock makes her run like a river. I'm sure Daemon has the same thoughts about his kid sister that lots and lots of brothers have (and plenty of them nowadays do something about). That pretty little hole between her legs is mighty enticing to a big strong guy like Daemon. Serenity's a virgin, and it's an older brother's job to bust his baby sister's cherry anyway. I look forward eagerly to sequels from this gifted writer.

Wonderful timing, weaving and building of story lines and characters. Leaves the reader anxiously anticipating the next snippet. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause and perhaps even reincarnation. Great premise! Keep the chapters coming.

OMG I LOVED IT, please, please, PLEASE write another one to this. I loved the ending that it's a girl who's getting the same dreams as Alex! PLEASE WRITE ANOTHER!!!

Awesome start... love the reincarnation theme you seem to have begun here... keep it up, can't wait for the next chapter...

Well done. Keep going....

Fantastic Story I loved the jumping between the past and the present please finish it

The story seems to have legs, so do not worry about those who want carnal action yesterday. However, may I advise that you take more time proofreading and editing prior to hitting the submission button. Though some of the mistakes may appear to be minor, they still interrupt the flow of the story, especially for those who may be reading challenged.

When I was younger my brother would come in my room at night and play with my pussy. He first started touching it then licking to having sex with me. I would pretend I was sleeping I loved when he cum in my pussy after he would leave I would finger my pussy and rub my clit with his cum until I came. This went on for a long time then I pretended to wake when he was fucking and showed that I liked it so we fucked every chance we could. I eventually got pregnant and have his baby we had a baby boy now we live together as Husband and wife we have another one on the way now and it's a girl.

The dude doesn't finish the story, quits after the 3rd chapter. NO point in readhing any further chapters as he leaves you hanging..........