by mightyhans
you should get you and your sister involved with your mother, then maybe your daddy if you need help contact seve461@yahoo.co.uk
Very well written, engaging and sensitively written first chapter. Good characterisation, a nice build up to the next instalment with some built in tension and hints at what may be coming later. Well worth reading.
Nice setup, enjoyed it very much! Lokking forward to chapter 2.
A good beginning to what I hope will be more erotic adventures between the two. PLease keep it to the sisters and their friends. Please keep the guys out of it.
Check your tenses, shifting from present to past is a distraction. Nice Story.
Get it on and bring their mother in and then their father perhaps catching the three of them out and and being seduced to join them
I have to question myself. I've never been turned on by a piece of incest work, but, Lord have mercy, I do believe that I am now! Good work! It definitely needs some editing, but it is a good beginning.
Very nicely constructed story, especially good considering the lack of editor. I'm looking forward to more in this vein. Thanks for your efforts, keep up the good work.
Don't go making the situation more complicated until your readers have a solid understanding of the two major characters you've introduced so far. Lesbian incest is only an interesting area to explore if there are real chracters behind it, otherwise it may as well just be two random people screwing.
Must continue. Always keep it slow and deliberate. Add mom, then mom's sister then a multii-way as a finish. No men allowed
Loved the slow burn, the tension and the gentleness. Can't wait to read more from you.
Your writing skills made me feel like I was right there, experiencing all of that with you.
Regarding your editor, you don't need their help in my opinion. Just keep writing....PLEASE !! 5 Stars from me.
This is a great start to what promised to be a great series. Keep up the good work. I'll be watching for chapter 2
Agree with the general sentiment that this needs at least one more chapter, hopefully one long enough for Corey to explain what suddenly prompted her to make a move on Taylor, and for Taylor to explore her own reactions.
I have to agree with all the comments about at least another chapter. Would love to see some more character developement. Maybe get another set of sisters involved or heck, maybe even Mom too. Don't get carried away with turning a great story into a sexual extravaganza. Keep it light and erotic.
Please add another chapter. I can wait to hear how the sisters become even closer.
I do hope that you add more to the story. It drew me in and I'm sure the next installment will do exactly the same.
This was one of the best ones ive read hands down. what happens next?!
one of the best stories I have read, you MUST continue this story!
This is the best one yet. Totally continue! This is so hot lol I luv it!
This NEEDS to be continued. This is one of the best lesbian stories on here.
I really think u should continue, but try 2 make the next 1 longer
keep writing the story I would like to read the endig if there is one.
please comtinue this story it is wone of them ost erotic stories id ever heard so please continue it PLEASEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Excellent story, please continue! I'm sure Taylor is excited to return the favor for her beautiful and sexy older sister. They'll have to be sneaky since they both live at home but it will be worth it I'm sure :)
Great stuff!!!
This was so hot! We'd love to know what Taylor does next. Good job.
so sender. so passionate. so loving. i think you should involve toys in the next one.
This was truly amazing, both hot in that DDAAAAAAMMMNNNN but also very sweet in their gentleness. I don't normally do incest but other than that this story was amazing 5stars and a favorite from me. Please continue this one day will you?
Wow that was so hot!!!!!!!! Yes I want more!!!!!!!!
I really don't want to sound generic, but this really WAS an INCREDIBLE story. I really hope with all my heart that you continue it.
yes i think you should continue the story. it sound like it needs to be continued or something. more chapters.
It had to be one of the most erotic stories I have ever read. Please continue
Great story! You need to continue this story. Please give us more! Excellent!
its almost a crime to not keep going. 5 stars. more chapters plox!
You did emotion really well. Really drew me in. One of the most realistic and plausible scenes I've seen. The build-up and nipple play was really cute, for want of a better word.
But after all that build-up, Corey doesn't even touch Taylor's privates? WTF? And then it seems like Corey orgasms almost as soon as she starts masturbating. Much of this story, especially towards the end, joins the ranks of the many stories who don't follow the "show, don't tell" rule. You stood out because you showed and didn't tell the emotions, but then you kind of stuffed it by telling instead of showing Corey's masturbation. After all that really-hot buildup, the reader wants something to come over at the end. There just...wasn't. Writing "and then she has an orgasm" is always a great way to ruin an ending. Yours was a little better than that, but could have been much better.
Please, more. And have them go further. Don't turn it into IKEA Erotica, or "and then she finger-fucked her roughly, shoving her digits up her pussy"; keep the same style and intimate, sensual and non-dirty tone, it's really hot and getting much rarer, but please, write more actions. Have them go further. Tell me how Corey's body feels, as well as her mind, and what she does to herself. Or what Taylor does to her. You left too much to my imagination, so I didn't have enough to build on. Don't say "[I] was furiously masturbating my pussy." Tell me how. What does she do?
I'm not saying it was bad. It was much better than most of what I read on here. But it needs something more. Most people go overboard with writing the physical actions and have no emotion. You swung too far the other way.
Like @Da1337dude said, we need more!
I know you wrote this a year ago, but please write more. It is an amazing story!
I would love to read more of this story and if u have more about sisters having sex together i would love to read those too
I read this story long ago and fell in love with it. I just had a sudden urge for this type of taboo again, and couldn't recall the story's name. I searched this site and couldn't find it by what i knew. So i googled lesbian sister story during movie night.
I loved this so much I had tp comment and sign up, to favorite this.
-Quocalimar
lol best author on this site, there needs to be a 6 star rating for unmatched.
LOL... if my sister is good enough for me...
This story is dumb.
The erotic buildup of breast play. Give it 5 cums and more please!
Hey thanks for this mightyhans. It was awesome. Moving so gently, so slowly, so delicately. This is one of the best accounts of young love that I've ever read. I could visualise the two girls so much I could almost see them. I can't wait for chapter 2.
One of the most erotic, heartwarming and adorable stories I have ever read. To say I love it does not make it justice.
Just a quick note: Please, if you are going to add another character to Corey and Taylor's relationship then please, add their mom. Please do NOT add their dad or some other guy or guys, that would utterly ruin the story. At least that is my opinion.
...As Corey said to Taylor, this is beautiful. Yes, indeed!
Very well written erotica. Had me hanging for the next line. Sweet and sexy. You should write more. I don't know but I swear you have to be a woman how well you described lesbian sex. Write more, it was over a 5.
Is it just a coincidence that the two main characters names are the first and last name of a rock singer
You gotta ask if we want more, you're already in my favourite's waiting for next chapter. Hurry
I'm blown away with this story. You just have to bring them into the next phase of their lives. Please. Allow us to partake, of what is awaiting them. 5🌟's 😍😍😍
Thos was a short but perfect story. You're a good writer and I really want you to make chapter 2
Please write a Part 2!! Cory needs to pleasure Taylor!! Like more then hear greats! Please continue this story!!
If you want to answer back, mumclaren@gmail.com
I love the focus of breast play between the sisters here!
I'd love to read more. Great read.
So Taylor is in love with Corey but is Corey in love with Taylor? I would love to see Corey pleasuring Taylor all the way. ;)
Love the first chapter, truly love the slow build up. Definately would love to read more so please keep writing and continue this story into a series
Please continue this! I would love to see Corey go all the way with Taylor! This was Part 1 so I hope we get Part 2! :)
I had my wife read this story while I went down on her and she came twice.
That was the first time she ever reacted like that. My wife who is straight is now reading lesbian stories with me. This is very hot.
Please.....continue
Your story was amazing. You don't need an editor ... express yourself!
I loved this story, it is so brilliantly written you do not need an editor. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE continue this story it is so incredibly beatiful as well as erotic. The LOVE between these two sisters is amazing and so caring. I LOVED IT. PLEASE MORE.
Please please, pretty please continue this story. It's such a good story, I feel this incompleteness inside me, just because this story has no continuation.