All Comments on 'Slightly Broken'

I know you stated that this was the first story you'd posted. Maybe you should have read it. There were SO many mistakes. It was just...poor.

1) This is supposed to have at least *some* erotica. One passage of approximately 4 lines:

We went on for hours just fucking...fucking until I came four times and her countless more. -- Basically enough to say "oh, sex" but not enough for ANYONE to enjoy.

2) Why is this in incest? No indication of it.

3) Yes, I do get story arch...but how about a decently written sex scene?

According the the teaser on the title page his sister is supposed to help him and you put this story in Incest/taboo, but it does not fit that at al as there is no sex between his sister and him.There are many ways I can see this story going if you decide to do a second chapter. Just remember the area you posted in and make sure the story matches the area you post in.

too short why did you do this you just get started on the story and you stop it

WTF With ,She'll Live ?

You asked for comments good or bad & Story was #BAD!!!

The Story Had No Explanation! No Backstory! Nothing Really!

Made Very Little Sense

Maybe C2 you can explain WTF is going On ??

Horrible effort.

It wasn't. It was obscure and pretentious. Give me back the time it took to read it.

I'm not sure a cliffhanger is a good idea for a first attempt. You need more development. More details in the characters and action, too

Ok... So you have some ability to write but you need to practice your planning and story development.... We don't care for you ex marine... We need to be invested before you can end. Slow down and take more time... C2 needs to be alot longer with more story.... You have a lot of talent

And yes there will be a C2. This was just an introduction chapter so its no where near as descriptive or long as my next chapter I'm working on. Sorry if I disappointed or wasted anyone's time but I kind of wanted to get a feel for the community on here as well. Thank you :)