All Comments on 'Slippery Sister Ch. 02'

I enjoyed reading chapters 1&2, can't wait to read the nest chapter.

This was better because you reached the completion. Now you can create a sequel where it gets even better or move on. For instance they were caught, they decide to seduce mom, whatever. BUT be consistent! What do I mean, well here is a paragraph from your story:

***""No! I never had sex before, but Mom told me all about it. Come on, my back really itches Bobby!" Cat said, and moved her shoulders like she was trying to get something off them."***

Then he slid in easily, what happened to her hymen. You should have put that in. She "...never had sex before..." but yet he slid in and no hymen? Yes, girls can break their hymens in many ways, but you didn't cover that. I believe consistency makes the story that much more; when things are off it distracts me and based on other comments on other stories it bothers others as well. Either way, it was well written and I gave you 3 stars. I would have given you a 4 if you were more consistent.

good but you need more background chapter one should have been chapter two with one telling what thier lives were like before this happened it's like reading a book but instead of starting at the begining you just start in the middle it's good but you miss alot also use an editor and stop relying on comments from the readers to fix your goofs and please if you continue keep the parents out of it they can find out but don't get them involved sexually remember with incest it is always the fewer the better

You have the beginnings of a winner here. Well written - you might be worried about punctuation, but that puts you leagues ahead of most who kant spel 2 sav der lives!

and even believeable. Please don't make it unbelieveable by having Mom, Dad and 22 brothers, sisters cousins, aunts and uncles all join in. More sex between the two is obvious and doesn't need to be written.

If you haven't written Chapter 3, be creative, throw us a curve, you have the beginning of what could be one of those "Wow, I never saw that coming" stories.

Part 1 was good but part 2 is even better im hoping for a part 3 and as for the comment about an editor I for one dont think you need one i mean sure there are a few unanswered questions but those questions can be answered in part 3 with a little " flash back" at 1st before going on with the story so reread this chapter and answer the questions that were posed or have Bobby ask her the question about her hyman and how it was broke....btw i gave you 4 stars sorry ive yet to read a story that gets a 5.

Yes by all means continue! This story is told well and you can escape into it!

Thanks for writing!

A really hot story and very well told . Sorry I can't write more , you made me get all sticky . More from these two, please hurry .

This is by far one of the best series on the site! Please write a part 3 I'm dying to see what happens next!

I could do with a little more information about the characters, eg age, looks etc. I don't need cup-size or length of dick, though.

Very good effort.

both were excellent.....enjoyed them a lot....next one maybe a little more info on the charecters and some sneaking around a little....but very good.

I think you have a great story, and you posses strong native language skills. I won't comment on your story development-- I think you've got that under control, and isn't my strong suit anyhow-- nor will I say something overly pedantic about adverb placement, but I would like like to make some suggestions about semicolons and fragments. To avoid reading the rest of this post simply check the oatmeal.com for some thorough, and humorous advice on semicolon usage: http://theoatmeal.com/comics/semicolon

If that is too much for you, just remember that you should have two full clauses on either side of the semicolon (Noun and Verb). The second clause should carry more meaning than the first. Often, when you are using a semicolon, you should just use a comma: "Bobby; I never imagined how beautiful that would be." vs. "Bobby, I never imagined how beautiful that would be."

Or you can defer to Kurt Vonnegut's "lesson in creative writing": First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

I hope that my critique doesn't overshadow my appreciation of your work. With your talent, you can improve your writing in a very short period of time.

Beautiful story

This is a great story. Well done!

Both chapters were fantastic reading and exciting. Please continue the relationship with them.