Slow Separation

"And...you're not going to divorce me?"

"I can't make any long term promises but I don't think that'll be necessary, at least for now."

Bonnie leapt to her feet and had a big smile on her face. She had got in her mind what she wanted: her loving husband at home and a lover on the side to take care of her extra needs. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big kiss before I had a chance to go on.

"I love you so much, baby. Let me take you to bed and show me how much I appreciate what you're doing."

I put my hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her away from me.

"We're not done yet, Bonnie. Please sit down."

She frowned a bit, now wondering what was coming, though I suspect she didn't expect what I had to say to go the direction it did.

"As with any compromise, neither party is getting everything they want. Obviously I've compromised on your two main points but I have some...demands of my own. You are free to decline them but that will mean I will simply proceed with the divorce. Understood?"

She nodded.

"Once you are done with the need for other men, you will let me know, at which point you and I will resume having sex."

"What do you mean resume? That implies that we'll be stopping at some point."

"We will be, and that point is now. Going forward any intimacy between us will be limited to kissing and cuddling, and maybe hand jobs for me and fingering for you. No more oral or intercourse."

"But I don't want that, Henry! I thought I was clear that what we do is important to me and I need it as well."

"You did, and you also made it clear that your fuck buddy was more important to you, at least right now, than our marriage. You were prepared to allow me to divorce you rather than give up your little side project."

"I was simply trying to express how important it is for my well-being, but I need you both."

"And you'll have us both, but with limits. Again, you can decline and we can file for divorce. It's up to you."

The expressions changing on her face reflected the thought process she was clearly going through, and I could see her finally resign to the fact that she had no choice.

"I guess I accept then, but under protest. And not just for me, honey. I know you don't need it like you did when you were younger but you still have needs, and I don't like you suffering by having to go without."

The words I spoke next clearly hit her like a knife through her heart.

"Who says I'll be going without?"

"What...what are you talking about?"

"Just what I said. I have no intention of being celibate while you work through this."

"Henry, I'm definitely not okay with this. The whole point of what I'm doing is I need more, but you said yourself that I keep you completely satisfied. I don't see why you'd stop making love to me, your wife, to go find it somewhere else."

"Again, if these conditions aren't acceptable then we can proceed with the paperwork."

"Can you at least explain it to me? I don't understand."

"I have two reasons: First, I have no desire to expose myself to whatever diseases it is you're exposing yourself to..."

"They're completely clean, Henry! I insist on a clean bill of health before I...well, before."

"And how often do they have to provide one, or are you assuming these young, healthy twenty-something men are limiting themselves to your charms a couple of times per week?"

She didn't have an answer for that, which suggested I was right about her only getting one before the first time. I continued.

"Exactly. So I would suggest getting yourself to a clinic as soon as possible. I have an appointment for tomorrow already. And my second reason is that you've already made it clear that I can't hold a candle to these young guys, and I have no desire to continually subject myself to a comparison."

"I've never done that and never would."

"Perhaps not consciously, but you said yourself that after being with Darrin the first time you were acutely aware of how effective he had been and, by contrast, how ineffective I had been just the night before. I'm not necessarily suggesting you made a conscious comparison, but you were certainly aware of it. But this is more about me anyway. I don't care to have the thought that I already know I'll be leaving you unsatisfied by the time we're done. I just don't need the constant run down of my confidence, even if it's entirely in my own mind. Even if you're not thinking how poorly I compare, I'll be thinking it and also I'll believe that's what you're thinking. I won't subject myself to that."

"I guess I have no choice. I don't want to lose you, baby, but I can't do what you're asking, so I guess this will have to do for now. Is there anything else?"

"Yes, a few guidelines. First, weekends our entirely our time. Even if one of us has to work that is not a pass to hook up with someone while we're out. I need to be confident that, whatever you and I end up doing, your body will be clean, and I will offer you the same courtesy."

"That's perfectly reasonable and acceptable."

"Also, on weekdays we immediately shower and brush our teeth as soon as we get home, whether anything happened that day or not, to prevent giving anything away."

"That seems like it will be awfully burdensome, but I have no choice but to agree."

"And we are home by 9:00pm no matter what, unless we absolutely have to work late. And I mean work late, not I want to keep having sex so I'll say I'm working late. If you lie I'll file the papers."

"I really don't like this, Henry. All of these rules for our love life when it would be so much simpler to just do what we've been doing. Can't you just forget you found out?"

"Could you?"

"No, I suppose not. But I have to go through all of this and then I don't even get to make love to my husband. It doesn't seem right."

"Nothing about this is right, Bonnie! Not a God Damn thing! But you made your choice and I came in second, so now I'm making my choice. If it's too much for you just say the word and you know what'll happen and then you won't have to worry about me anymore."

"Okay, baby, okay. I agree. Just please consider, you know, throwing me a mercy fuck every now and again. Just because you don't give me multiple huge orgasms anymore doesn't mean I don't need you."

<><><><><>

And so it began.

I admit to having no shortage of women I had seen that I wanted to fuck, but approaching and convincing them was a whole other animal. I'm not exactly an Adonis; I think I look okay but I'm not the type of guy women throw themselves at. And being a married guy that everyone I know is aware of would also be a severe handicap.

So I did what so many people have done in this day and age to score the anonymous hook-up: I hit the internet.

I was astounded at the number of websites devoted to casual sex. And that doesn't even include things like Craigslist for which the sex stuff is only a portion of what they have. And I couldn't believe how many of these women willingly posted naked pictures of themselves as part of their profile. (Yeah, I know. I eventually discovered that the pictures are rarely the actual women themselves, and when they are they usually aren't recent, but that's not what I thought at the time).

I signed for one that looked promising and created a profile. I did include a picture of myself but blurred the face, not wanting to take any chances of someone I knew seeing it. I figured the most important thing was that they could see me from the neck down.

I actually had my doubts about it working. I mean, let's face it, if a woman really wants to get laid she can do it any time she wants to. Even if she's a butterface (you know, she's got a great body, but her face...) she can still manage it if she's not overly choosy. So I figured any woman I showed interest in would have me among hundreds of other options, if not more. The odds of her selecting me seemed astronomical.

What I didn't expect was the amount of inquiries that I would receive. These were women that selected my profile and were suitably interested to actually send me a message. And the tone and content of the messages left no doubt as to their willingness to simply meet and fuck. This was no romance. There was nothing about getting to know each other or anything like that. The wording might change but the basic message was 'I want to fuck you. Let's set up a time and place and don't forget condoms'.

I was genuinely surprised. Of course it had been over two decades since I had been out there and technology had obviously changed the dynamics completely. Women were also more assertive about getting what they wanted than they had been 25 years ago. It was quite an education.

The very first surprise I got was early inquiries from two black women. For some reason (probably because I'm old and out of touch) I expected only white women to be interested in me. I had known several black women I found very attractive over the years but I had my doubts that they would be interested in me.

So I decided that as long as this was happening I was going to use the opportunity to broaden my horizons a little bit. That's not to say that I was going to say yes to every offer I got but I was going to try and sample a variety.

I sent a response back to the very first message sender. Like me she had included a full body picture with the face blurred out. I took the very appealing image with a grain of salt, despite the profile's insistence that the picture was her and current.

Despite the impression I might be giving here, I had never been one to be comfortable with the idea of just jumping into bed with someone. I had done it before but that was in college when that type of thing was expected if not encouraged. I actually wanted to get to know these women first, though time was certainly a factor. The idea I had was that we'd meet for a drink or something to just chat for a bit before finding our way someplace.

I took a week to get everything set up online and to get acclimated to the idea of doing what I was doing. I weeded out some of the inquiries I got that, for one reason or another, didn't spark my interest.

Like most men I can truly appreciate the beauty of a young woman. Not that mature women aren't beautiful but most women are at there loveliest in their early twenties. Of course, I hadn't been with someone that young since I was that age myself.

The first profile to hit my inbox was from a woman who gave her name as Kim. If her picture was to be believed she had long curly blonde hair, a trim body, and really big tits. The picture was of her in just a bra and panties, and the profile gave her age as 23. I was 44 years old and wondered why she was contacting me but didn't let that stop me from making her my first response.

We communicated through the website's messaging section and finally agreed to meet at 5:30pm the following Wednesday at a sports bar near where she lived. I ran home and took a quick shower and arrived at 5:20, securing a booth in the back as we had agreed.

She showed up about 5 minutes later. I stood to greet her when she arrived at the table and she smiled and mentioned how gentlemanly the gesture was. We ordered a drink and talked a little bit about ourselves, leaving out any mention of our intimate lives.

She worked at a local marketing company that did promotions in convenience stores. It paid the bills for her but she was gaining good experience and hoped to move on within the year. I talked about what I did and she seemed very interested (or faked it very well).

I asked the question that was gnawing at my mind.

"So, why is a beautiful young woman like you meeting an old guy like me for this kind of thing?"

"I wanted to try something different. Guys my age aren't very good at sex. Oh, they can go for a long time but few of them seem very concerned with your pleasure. My mom is always saying that mature men are much better and more concerned about the woman than young guys are so I wanted to see more for myself."

"You and your mother have a good relationship it sounds like?"

"We do. We can talk about anything. I'd ask why a man your age has interest in someone my age but I think I already know the answer to that. So the question is, how much longer are we gonna sit here talking before we go somewhere more private? I've been looking forward to this."

Obviously we couldn't go back to my house so Kim suggested we go back to her place. She shared it with a roommate but said she probably wouldn't be home until later and wouldn't bother us even if she got there earlier.

Her apartment had a shower/tub combination that allowed us to be in there together but it wasn't particularly conducive to doing much else. When Kim shed her clothes I was suitably impressed. The picture online was definitely her. Her tits were huge and amazing, and completely natural. He pussy was shaved smooth and there wasn't an imperfection on her body that I could see.

Bonnie, of course, had some stretch marks and other things that come with being a woman in her 40's, and I don't want to imply that this was somehow a negative. I still found Bonnie to be as beautiful as ever; I was simply aware of the difference, much like I knew Bonnie was aware of the difference between me and her boy toy but still loved me.

We washed each other thoroughly and then she went to her knees in front of me right there in the shower. She worked me expertly and I was soon edging to the point of no return. I let Kim know the volcano was erupting and she just kept on doing what she was doing, and moments later I erupted down her throat.

After she made sure I was empty and clean, she stood up and planted a kiss on my lips. I noticed no trace of myself on her lips. It wouldn't have been a big deal but it wasn't something I went looking for.

We went to the bed and I spent an inordinate amount of time pleasuring her massive jugs, which fortunately were quite sensitive to the touch so she was able to enjoy my ministrations, and she came quite suddenly when I slid my hand between her thighs the first time.

After that we eased into slower, more romantic lovemaking. I took the time to ensure she was properly aroused and we kissed a lot (she said she really liked kissing and I was all about giving the lady what she wanted). I went down on her, licking every little fold of her labia and kissing her inner thighs before really giving her clit my full attention. I licked it, sucked it, and flicked it, giving her a couple of very strong orgasms in the process, the last with her hands firmly on the back of my head and nearly smothering me against her before finally releasing me.

Finally I rolled a condom on and entered her in the classic missionary position, at least at the beginning. We ended up trying a few positions, ending up with her riding me cowgirl and grinding her hips on me until giving herself an incredibly intense climax. Her body was shaking and her breath was coming in shallow gulps. I thought for a moment she was having a seizure before she finally wound herself back down. I'd like to take the credit for what she had just experienced but it was mostly her own doing. I was glad to be a part of it, though.

She climbed off of me and slid the condom off of me, which I wondered briefly about but I had more so it wasn't a matter of concern. She took me in her mouth again, though more leisurely. She wasn't trying to get me off; she was just having fun.

Then she looked up at me with those big blue eyes.

"If you want to fuck my ass you can go bareback."

Bonnie wasn't much into anal. She didn't particularly enjoy it but did it occasionally because she knew I did. I wasn't about to turn down this offer but, with an eye toward the possibility of disease I chose to cover up despite her offer. Kim seemed briefly put out, like I was accusing her of something, but she accepted it and we went on with things.

She got on her hands and knees, clutching a pillow under her stomach. Bonnie had told me that doggy-style was the best position for this because it gave her some control so she could gather what pleasure she could and also make sure I didn't hurt her. Kim seemed to echo these sentiments.

I lubricated everything thoroughly then slid into Kim's ass. It was fairly tight but I could tell this was not her first time. She expressed only pleasure (no pain) and we quickly built into a rhythm.

"Fuck me, Henry. Do me hard. Come on baby!"

I gripped her slim hips and did just that. Kim was grunting with each inward thrust and I noticed she had slipped a hand between her legs and was rubbing her clit as well. I knew I was getting close when suddenly Kim came again, and the squeeze she put on me at that moment was all it took for me to blast my load as well, filling the condom.

I pulled out of her and she immediately turned around. She pulled the rubber off of me and took my dick in her mouth again, cleaning the cum that coated my dick off thoroughly. I think she was hoping to get me going again, and I probably could have managed it, but it was getting close to the time when I'd need to leave. Eventually we settled into the bed and cuddled for a few minutes. Then she surprised me.

"That was great, Henry. I know what my mom was talking about. I wish my boyfriend was as skilled as you are at getting me going."

"Wait; you have a boyfriend?"

"Yeah. We've been together for two years."

"Then why...?"

"Look Henry, I love Zach, I really do. And I'm gonna marry him one day and once that happens I'll be all his. But I'm young and want to experience a lot of things, a lot of guys, before that happens. He knows all about it and he hooks up with other girls as well. We both know it's just sex. We love each other and we'll always be together, and we get to take what we learned and bring it into our own lovemaking."

I was wrapping my head around what she had just told me and I think she could tell by the look on my face. She continued.

"We both have our reasons for being here together, and I loved it. I didn't ask about that ring on your finger because it's none of my business why you're fucking me and not your wife. You have your reasons and it's your life to live without me judging you. I had a great time with you and I think you enjoyed being with me. And if you want to hook up with me again just say the word, but let's skip the drinks next time and get right to the naked activities, okay?"

In that moment Kim struck me as a very 'modern' woman, though I wasn't sure how I felt about that. But she was right in that we were just two people looking to have a good time, and I had very much enjoyed being with her. Part of me had lost track of the fact that this was casual sex and not the prelude to, or even part of, a loving relationship, so the reality of her having a boyfriend had struck me harder than I would have expected.

"You're absolutely right, Kim. I guess I'm still old-fashioned in a lot of ways, but if you and your boyfriend are both aware of it and it works for you then it's not my place to judge. And I did enjoy being with you very much."

"I'm glad. Will I hear from you again?"

"I can't make any promises but I think that's pretty likely."

I climbed out of bed and pulled my clothes on as Kim lounged on the bed watching me. An ugly thought passed my mind as I wondered if Kim was fully satisfied, since Bonnie no longer was, but I tried to push it out of my mind. She was young and apparently had other means to finish off any residual needs she may have, so I just accepted that I was fully satisfied and she had a good time at the very least.

She walked me to her apartment door and gave me a kiss as I left. She seemed almost sorry to see me go but I didn't know her well enough to properly interpret her body language so I tried not to read anything into it.