All Comments on 'Snow Job'

... and then you copped out with that epilogue. Instead you could have fleshed that epilogue out and made the story maybe a couple pages longer - the outline presented in the epilogue would have made this story a 100, had you actually written it out in full.

I do like happy endings but like many stories like this the husband really should not have even started talking to the wife after what she did.

The Wildone always tells a good tale and this is one of his better ones. The ending seemed right. It goes to show how most incidents do have a silver lining, and this had a very nice one!

I liked it from start to finish. Thanks for the words and your time.

Very good story, enjoyed it. Thanks!

i liked it. it certainly is different from the usual LW stories.

Very good story. Glad to see you didn't end with the overly sweet idea that the husband and wife got back together and lived happily ever after.

Well written and well paced with very

real sounding people. It sort of irritated

me to think that Dorothy thought that he

was waiting for her to come back and probably

could not resist her despite what she had

done. She took a dominant role for that night

when she all ready had learned that it was not

what turned her on. Basically they would never

make a perfect pair and they could have gotten the

divorce earlier.

I loved everything right up till the ending. Great writing. Please continue to grace us with you work.

A pointless excercise in political correctness in forcing the split couple back together. Whatever stopped her love for her husband in the first place will ignite again if they stayed married. No point in wasting the time and effort. It would seem that jess and he were soulmates destined to love and deeply in love with each other, lying about it all the time. A shame you used the age excuse to prohibit them from making each other happy. She was grown, he was grown, no reason not to stay together. Personally I would have kicked the exwife out of the house she had already walked out of for no real reason than her own ego. And the exs personality isnt sub, is it user. Users find reasons to do everything they do, good or bad, she used her husband, then her "lover" and when that crashed she wanted to go back to the husband she abandoned as her safety net. Sluts such as her dont deserve marriage. And just for those that try to say it is a double standard, look at divorce law when men or women cheat in marriage and see who comes out best int he divorce, then try to explain double standard in the womans favor.

Glad to see a good man end up with the ill treatment he endures turning into gold. The epilog makes sense - no way this couple would end up staying together. Also, appreciate the tale being told from the daughter's perspective. Well done JWO.

Frank was a fool to let that skank Dorothy back into his life. He's just TOO GOOD a man for his own good. Jess wasn't all that heart-broken really because deep down she knew she wanted a young man who'll make babies with her. She was just in love with the idea of being with a really good guy. Jess might have loved Frank, but their relationship had an early expiry date and both of them knew it. Loved the way you wrote the dialogue. Cindy sounds like a character worth revisiting.

Fast paced would be an understatement. Still, it was fun. Thanks for the story.

Just wanted to say that it was a very different perspective and was well written and enjoyable.

...how could the wife think it would all be forgivable with a few words and why did the husband let it happen? As far as the story of her cheating and running away was reported so far, she had hurt him for a lifelong.

Pretty good story until the end. Frank should have kept Jessica, and not just as a lover.

but years between them are hard. a 20 year difference means she is 40 and he is 60 and that is a lot of difference. hell 25 to 45 is a big difference.

but a good story.

Jess loved her Dad and he loved her, should have left them together. The old slut could have grown up without destroying her exhusbands life again.

Frank should have stayed with Jessica. Dorothy was a cheating slut wife who deserved to be alone after what she did to her husband. It was he who got the short end of the stick in the end. Damn.

laving the torpid shaft, he groped a hirsute scrotum, betrayed!

Jessica loved Frank... The line where she said she wanted him to be happy, that's a sign of real love... As for the cheating slut, she had NO right to slap Jessie. Really don't like the ending, she hardly shows remorse even for fucks sake... Sucks.

definitely worth a 5!

You wrap everything up in a nice bow in the final epilog? Seemed to give short shrift to an otherwise entertaining story. It turned a good story into an unsatisfying story.

Seemed so rushed at the end. Thanks for the offering.

In the end all the ex did for him is mess up his relationship with Jessica, gee thanks.

Rushed unsatisfying ending.

Horrible ending.

Good start. Bad finish. I think you could not work out where to go with your story and copped out.

Agree with the previous comment.

Author lost their way.

Author got bored with the tale.

shhhhucks ..

still voted it 5 star , coz i loved it up until then.

xxxhugsxxx

Had to give up. Your misuse of commas and semicolons in the first paragraph was funny. After that, ugh! Juan, go to the nearest community college, give them your credit card, and don't leave until they give you a thorough comprehension of what punctuation is and is not. And run on sentences. And possessive use of apostrophes.

Not a bad story until the end. I can't believe that's how you really saw this story ending. It just made no sense. Why didn't he divorce her for abandonment when she left? If you change your mind you can always re-marry, but given what she did and how she wanted to come back it just made me laugh. Even for fiction it was just implausible. The ending ruined the rest of the story.

Did you get tired of writing and just say fuck it?

too often you read a really good story , one that is engaging , interesting , well written , quality dialogue with a delicious plot . Only to find the ending sort of just fizzles out , damp squib of a finish ..

however considering it's FREE , no cost to the reader . and that the Author is possibly using these short stories & the Lit. site to play with ideas for other work , i am not going to be complaining. :)

5 stars .. even with the poor ending

Thank you for writing something different and with real feeling.

Obviously, some don't like it. However, it's a little different than the usual in this genre. The wronged husband, pulled out of what appears to have been a depressed state by a young hot girl who just happens to be the good friend of his daughter. Then, the selfish whore wife returns, expecting that all will be forgiven. But she lived with the new man, not just screwed him. Living with someone involves intimacy far beyond the sex act. It involves touching, sharing and communicating far beyond momentary passion. Thankfully, he didn't take her back, although the good man tried. In the end the wife, without it needing to be said, can see what she threw away. A believable BTB story, and she's burned where it really counts, not in some fantasy way that stretches credulity.

You developed your characters very well, to include the shadow figure of Mom way in the background. You had an excellent arc through the story, right up to when you seemed to run out of things to say and dropped back to the remainder of the outline that you had written the first nine-tenths of the story from.

Despite the abrupt ending, and a happy one it was for everyone, I gave it five stars. You earned them with the quality of your writing.

I was going to suggest a sequel, but it would probably be more effective to just start over with a totally new story. You have a lot of ideas with which to work and I'm looking forward to future work that you may do.

Her mom left(this mid life chrises is bullshit). If you lov3 someone you talk with them you just don't start seeing an old boyfriend añd when you find he is a user s!imeball you crawl back on bended knees back forgiveness tell him about therapy and promise to be his and his only and that your body belongs to only him and beg for forgiveness

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

The work was a breath of fresh air. I wonder what happened to Frank? Everyone kinda got what they wanted but Frank. His daughter appeared to have been the central character but, Frank was my main focus. He was the ultimate good guy who got his ass handed to him for no good reason. Then he was picked up and helped to start loving again. Then Cindy got involved and stopped Jessica, then the wife tried to come back and Frank allowed her. In the end everyone ended up not where they should have been (to me). What happened to Frank! Jessica even found a young guy and poor Frank it's not clear to me what happened. More please even if it's a better epilogue hot commodity please.

First off it is in my favorites. The wife got used but she could have said no but she ran off with the scumbag not even trying to work on her marriage with the husband that loved her as far as coming back No Way if she stayed in town fuck her if he wanted I think Jess would have stayed around as long as he wanted her to. Thy loved each other I think she loved him more than she let on. As for the wife like Cindy said adios George honey I am coming home just does not cut it let her find another Georg I think father and daughter both knew her coming back was not going to work because the wife/ mother hurt them to bad. Oh well just a story I bet after a while she will come crawling back. I would like to see a sequel to the story.

R. M.

mcwhorter28445@Gmail.com

Jessica went after him and got him yes he was older than her but deep down she loved him and he loved her. As far as the wife coming back after treating him the way she did throw her out of the house naked and tell her to go back to George and that he was filing for divorce . Mid life Cris did not bother to go to counseling just left with George. Jessica could be his mistress and maybe later on his wife. She defended him against his wife. No begging no making up to do to little to late. She would up leaving in the end possibly a follow-up story would be nice you never know Jessica might drop her boyfriend for him. In my favorites

Frank and Jessica would have been married. Vasectomy can be reversed in today’s day and age. As for the wife, well, there are couples that manage to make the trip back from infidelity with a great deal of blood sweat and tears. Leaving the spouse though, no, 99.4% fail to come back from that. It more the once bitten twice shy. The offended spouse almost always feels like they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop! There is just way too much pain to get over.

Now while this story is fictional, I fear that Frank won’t be able to commit to another, I also feel that if Jessica is now with Ryan, she may get feelings for Frank again should her relationship go sideways, and I would love to have them get together permanently. I think if Frank had said anything to her in that direction pre or post Ryan she would go to him with zero regrets.

The start was great, but then it just fizzled out. This could have been fantastic if you'd written the confrontation scene with the wife walking in on Frank and Jessie. Then they should have got divorced so that Frank and Jessie got together... They clearly loved each other.

The wife left to shack up with her old sweetie which wound up being a total asswipe runied both marriages in the end result. The wife should have talked with the husband and got counseling before she decided to leave not after she left. He should have told her sure you can come back but when JJ comes over she would have to sleep in the other bedroom by herself give her a taste of her own medicine, Talk with JJ and if she agreed to make it permant between the two send the wife back to her aunt's and file for divorce. So 16 months they finally divorce. I think there should be an additional chapter or two where the get together move to another city and go on with there life.(J J and Cindy's dad)

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com/. Ron

I would like to see a sequil whereJJ and rank get togeather move to somewhere new get married and have a great life togeather. JJ is not one to cheat and run off with someone else. I think she was/is really in love with Frank

That was funny and with a realistic outcome. Nice one.

Never able to get into this one at all.

It's the same old crap I was going thru a crisis in my ,life so I had a affair with an old boyfriend and come to find out all he was is a horn dog chasing anyone he thought he could get in bed. No talking with husband just left with good old George.

Now Jess seemed to be the best think that happened to Frank.

Months later Cindy's mom and dad divorced.

I think a sequel is due where Jess and Frank get back together move away get married and live happily ever after.

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Think about the sequil

Totally unrealistic, we all know (I hope) that all these stories are works of fiction, but they should at the very least be somewhat believable.

On the one hand we have a guy whose wife has shit on him from a very great height, left him for another guy, and when she finds that the grass isn't greener on the other side, decides from the goodness of her heart that she wants her husband back. On the other hand, he has a young (twenty something ?) beautiful girl who adores him,.

Real difficult choice ? How many guys reading this would choose the wife ? Sorry darling, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out...

You wrote it that deserves some recognition

5* from me.

...wanted Jess and Frank to make it work. Ending was real but disappointed me. 4 stars.

She runs off with another man publicly humiliating him after a long affair. An attempted reconciliation? When pigs fly. Why do authors write such obvious nonsense?

I think there should be a sequel where frank and Cindy get togeather and move away

So you want him to start an incestuous relationship with his daughter? Jessica would probably be a better fit for him. Haha

When Dorothy hit the floor, Frank and Jessica should have just kept fucking. Fuck (or rather UNfuck) Dorothy!

5 STARS PLUS NOT MY FIRST READ, I THINK THAT JESS AND CINDYS DAD SHOULD HAVE MOVED TO ANOTHER CITY FAR AWAY AND STAYED TOGEATHER INSTEAD HIM AND HER DAD GETTING BACK TOGEATHER THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BEST FIR ALL. EXCUSE THE CA P S BUT HAVING PROBLEMS USING LOWER CASE. RON. COWBOYRIDECC@YAHOO.COM

A bit of a downer that he didn't end up together with Jessie.

It's the way things should have gone in my opinion, would make for a much nicer ending.

This is one of my favorite of juan's stories.

I love his being with the younger woman. I love the wife discovering them. I wish there had been more details of that scene, but oh well. I think their divorcing makes sense. Too much to overcome.

5* from me.

What a mess.

The writer succeeded writing a very unbelievable story in a very believable way.

5 stars.

If you don’t like what you are reading, stop,

Interesting premise except near the end. There os no believable way that Frank would seek to reconcile with his wife. Heck why did he not divorce her when she left with George? She had been cheating on him a year or so ago and did it for like 6-7 months till the end of October. The mid life crisis and her being submissive are tiresome excuses. Instead of talking to her husband or counseling, she just up and left the marriage and was already cheating before the reunion. So why even attempt to reconcile? Seems nuts. I can understand he and Jess decide to part ways for other reasons, but because of his wife who abandoned him and his daughter for some control freak ex-boyfriend. At that point the story went off the rails.

Well, that's a wild and twisty story. Frank must be a lot more forgiving and loving than 99% of the people I know in order to accept his wife back - or at least try to accept her back. Stupid that he didn't change the locks on the house in all that time.

Thank you for the story!

Debió follarse a la ex, a Jess, a la hija y a todo lo que se moviera

Solo eso baja la calificación de excelente a muy bueno jajaja

Latinoheat

Debió follarse a la ex, a Jess, a la hija y a todo lo que se moviera

Solo eso baja la calificación de excelente a muy bueno jajaja

calor latino

Not a bad story, I suppose. Though, once again, I was under the impression vasectomies could be reversed? So he could easily have provided Jess with children if he so wanted, even if in the long term the relationship might have been untenable. Maybe if he was 40 instead of in his 50s.

Sixteen months later Frank and Dorothy Barlow agreed to an amicable divorce. Their efforts at reconciliation had been sincere but there were just too many problems to overcome in the final accounting.

.

Sixteen months later Frank and Dorothy Barlow agreed to an amicable divorce. Their efforts at making him a piece of shit cuck had been sincere but there were just too many problems to staying with a whore in the final accounting.

/

/

Fixed it for you

cuck get one star,

even if the spineless piece of shit finally gets left "amicably" by the whore