All Comments on 'Somali Stud For Japanese Lady'

There are three things you need to do in these stories - write the sex well, develop your characters well, and have good style. You have accomplished none of these. The sex is an afterthought when it should be the main course.

Look at it like a meal at a steakhouse. The sex should be like the steak - thick, juicy, the star of the show. This story treats it like it's the green beans shoved to the edge of the plate. The character development is like the baked potato - in this case, it's just a big, flavorless potato with no butter, sour cream, or bacon bits. Not even some steak sauce. It's just plopped out there. Good characters should unfold as the story goes on. We don't need to know everything about them upfront, nor do we really want to.

Try reading some of the highly-rated stories here and using them as a model. Don't just crank out story archetypes the way Family Guy cranks out cutaway jokes. It just doesn't work.

Plain and simple. These stories are meant to annoy idiot anons and trolls.

A fine short story (one "page", but it's enough for all: sinthesis is a relative of talent), not all-sex and this is not bad (an erotic story is not only "poke-here-lick-there"). A good and humorous treatment of interracial thematics (suspect: you a Black man and you like oriental girls, but chubby is better than bony, right?). All in all, a good job.

But is Canada really so boring? This is not the first story where I read it...