by sr71plt
The gist and emotional impact of your story is lessened by your addiction to a thesaurus and polysyllabic words. I would suggest reworking it without such a heavy reliance on advanced vocabulary lessons (and yes, I know and understood all of those words, but after a while it grew distracting).
I may not be Daphne's greatest fan, but getting good sex in the same room she wrote Rebecca in is two wins in my book.