All Comments on 'Son Gives Mom a Special Hug'

IF YOUR GOING TO COPY SOMEONE ELSES STORY AT LEAST COPY AND PASTE IT CORRECTLY

AND WHEN YOU EDIT THE NAMES MAKE SURE YOU CHANGE THEM ALL THROUGH THE STORY

STARTS OF AS CADEN THEN BECOMES GARRET,

IF YOU CANT THINK OF AN ORIGINAL STORY DONT GO COPYING OTHERS AND PASSING IT OFF AS YOUR OWN,,,,,,!!!!!!!!

Caden holds her in place while

Garret plays with her?

Thank you. That was an exciting ride.

Yes, do proof read your stories better. The story is hot and arousing. Now, you have to go to the next step as Caden gets on his knees to suck her nipples and eat her slowly. Hopefully, Mom will really want more and gives him the chance to be screwed by him. Yes, please post the next chapter or two. Thanks.

Caden...then Garret?

The son's name changes from Caden to Garret out of the blue for no reason. It would be fine if it were a nickname of the name for example "Thomas" becoming "Tom" or "Tommy"...

Who the heck was Garrett?

I look forward to the next story. Other than the name change it was great. 5*

For a first story it was great. I hope many more parts are to comekeep up the good work. :)

Except for the Garret, very nice

More please.

Grammar and spelling at about a fifth-grade level. And no consistency in names.

A pretty good story, spoiled by illiteracy.

Bored by the 8th paragraph. Too mechanical. Don’t need to know the movement of every physical joint of his arm and fingers.

Reads like a poorly written Instructions included from a cheap manufacturer from China.

Boring...Zzzz

Poor Grammar....yes.

So much detail can become tedious - it worked here, The name change was disconcerting.

you switched caden to garret towards the bottom 3/4 .

Thanks for the feedback. I didn't like the name Garrett so I changed it to Caden (it sounded more modern.) But missed a couple of changes. I'll triple check next time.

As to the issues with length, pace, grammar and style, ok. Thanks. No one makes you read it. Just move on if it's not your cup of tea. Better yet, leave a comment with your username so I can read your stories to see how it's done correctly.

I appreciate all of the feedback. I will likely write more about Allie since she and I chat regularly.

Not too bad for a first story. Unfortunately I see some of the Trolls from LW have migrated here to Taboo. I think you have a knack for telling a story, and if indeed you were too wordy, as some have suggested, you built the sexual tension in doing so. Perhaps it’s a case of those complaining being young studs, who in real life like to hurry through the first climax, secure in the knowledge they can always try a second time to do the job right.

Older guys, like you and I, know the value of doing it right the first time. This, of course, requires foreplay in lifting things to a white hot flame before using the ‘ole hose’ to put out the fire. The young studs should not worry—age will solve their rushing problems and in a few short years, so it seems, they will wonder why they were in such a rush to finish.

I’ll offer a couple points of constructive criticism—you can ignore if you like, but they are surely worth every penny they cost you. #1 You wrote in present tense—mostly—but as you found out, not only is present tense awkward when telling about something that has already happened, it’s very hard not to jump to past tense from time to time, and that is a big no-no. First or third person, past tense, will always be your best bet.

#2 If you use Word when writing, make use of the search and replace function when you want to change names. It will make life a lot easier.

#3 You do need to proofread more. I find it helps to start at the last paragraph and read to the first, at least once. Also read aloud at least once. Then, and this is the hard one, start writing or doing something else and let the story sit a week or so before posting.

WITH ALL THIS FINE ADVICE, I SOMETIMES IGNORE IT, OR GET IN A HURRY AND POST A STORY FULL OF MISTAKES, SO THE WRITING LIFE AIN’T EASY. LOL

I too think you have the beginnings of a great series here—after they finally do the dirty in CH02, the other son surely will discover what he’s missing and want in on the action, and maybe Ch03 will have the boys showing sister and Mom what it means to have a REAL CLOSE FAMILY.

Good luck and keep on writing. cd

PS: I loved your comment, Re: authors note.

I enjoyed your story right to the end. Keep up the good work. Waiting patiently for the continuation.

needs part two.

Great story. Just remember your characters names next time

Your story was written straight from the heart. Yes, that did render it imperfect, BUT it also made it GENUINE & more EROTIC & more ROMANTIC! Trust me.

The author is telling us a story. Period. They are not writing this for a Creative Writing course.

THE ULTIMATE LITMUS TEST FOR A LITEROTICA STORY IS THE EFFECT THE STORY HAS ON THE READERS. As i read this story, I felt my own mom was sitting on my lap & i was caressing her body gently but decisively. In my book, this story passed the test with flying colors.

Very erotic and I enjoyed it, but suggest kindly a better edit.

For example, where did Garrett come from?

There is a free app called Grammarly which I find most useful.

keep writing!

W

I am hard. Don't stop

I need more.

Can't wait for the next chapter

...but it would have been white-hot had you incorporated physical descriptions, especially for Allie, and some dialogue. Really, more than just some dialogue.

Like: "Oh, Son, you're making your saintly mother come! Now!"

Yeah. That alone is pretty hot.

feel and see a woman climax as you stroke her. To see his mom cum must have filled him with a lustful rage he has never known before. He must take her now and show her he loves her, wants her, and has to have her. She in turn should,show her boy how good mommy sex can be with him!!

STOP changing character's names during the story

It got me got in the most naughty way! ;)

Good story!

From an erotic standpoint, it’s 5 stars all the way. The long, slow build-up created great anticipation and then the payoff did not disappoint. I like how you left it at just furious fingering. The scene and characters were very believable.

Now from a technical standpoint, the story was very rough. I know this was your first time out, so I give this feedback in a constructive manner. There were many misspelled, misused and missing words which distracted from the prose. The main character’s name changed from Caden to Garrett then back to Caden again. And just a personal preference, the present tense took a little getting used to.

I strongly recommend proofreading before posting. Sometimes reading it out loud helps catch things that you mind glosses over while reading silently. You could also enlist the services of a volunteer editor.

The bottom line: the story was hot and you have a beautifully dirty mind! Keep writing.

Such a natural and even flow of the tale. The tight and forceful hug allowed Allie to continue without guilt.

Relaxing to enjoy life with mom

Not much to it and too many mistakes first it's Caden and then it's Garret!!! a 3