All Comments on 'Sovereignty Ch. 01'

I don't want to come off as critical of the story and this is the first time I have read any of your work but it's not very well structured so it's hard to follow, not to mention it kind of just... Now that is an example of a running sentence that should be rewritten. I think you should have someone proof read and make suggestions on how it can be better written. I see the story in the writing. It has potential. But it is a very rough draft.

The story isn't half bad, but proofreading is desperately needed. It all seems a continuous litany with no head or tale.

I read to enjoy a chance to get away from the real world and you go far in helping me achieving that goal. I am not sure why people insist on perfect grammar and punctuation, when the work is free. Some are really crude; others I think are trying to help. More than once I have seen writer give up after a rude and obnoxious review, never ending the story and leaving those of us that appreciated the work hanging. Please do not let that happen to us whom appreciate what you do.

Thank you

C

It was a nice read. Gut yes needs a editor. Please keep it up

Listen I've read all your work as of today and I have loved every word you've written grammar can sod off I understood your meaning every time I enjoyed every story so far don't let the people who only say bad things to you this is wrong that is wrong ignore them there are lots of your readers that enjoy things as they are now and I'm one of them so please keep up the good work please.

It was a nice little read. I want to see where you take this.

I'm not usually into the sci-fi stories here...

Quite frankly because many of them read like the porn remake version of a really bad movie. It's quite refreshing to actually read something ORIGINAL! Please keep the story going, can't wait to see what happens next.

[5 stars]

All your writing/story's are great I just wish you would use this site as your main one as its much easier to navigate.

A good premise, but terrible execution in my opinion. Instant death is silly and not worth reading. Instant mastery of your powers, also silly and unbelievable. Would have been better if he had to train his abilities, make mistakes, etc. Pacing of the story was also ridiculous. We received little to no background as to why the character was in the circumstances he was in. Why did his wife throw him out? Why was he fired? I'm sure we'll find out more why he is able to wield these powers, but I don't know if it will be worth reading if it continues in this style.

What nonsense is this?

Different type of story but it is original. A great start of a good series. Thank you for writing this.

Like it so far, see how the rest of the story goes.

Interesting...

Sorry, but this reads like an eleven year old wrote this. On drugs….

While in the middle of this I remembered reading the first chapter awhile back. It is still fun to read.

This definitely should be tagged Fantasy and not science fiction. His "mind" powers are too fantastical for fiction but it is an interesting read. Looking forward to the next chapter.