All Comments on 'Speed of the Sound of Loneliness Ch. 03'

Jack is still a very weak person when it comes to Molly. And Molly comes off as being selfish. The story just did not support or justify them getting back together. I am again shaking my head at trying to understand Jack and even more so Molly. The main thing is that you never addressed the central issue of why Molly did what she did so cruelly to Jack and what her mindset was at the time. And on top of that you had Jack take on all the responsibilty of causing their break-up and that definitely did not work. Marriage is a two-way street and Molly drove off the road by her cruel actions to Jack. You did not do a good job portraying Molly as being sorry for her actions. She appears more selfish than anything else. And as for the tragic ending of the story -- Why get them back together if you are going leave the main character sad and lonely anyways?

I'm sad because the story ended. It was interesting and it had a lot of potential, but you rushed through this third chapter at the speed of light and left many questions unanswered.

I am a fan, but this story wasn't up to par with your talent.

Seemed like you glossed over/ignored your own setup then tacked on an overly sappy/sad/emotional ending trying to cover it (lack of real ending) up. <p><p>

I also dislike this type of outcome usually. Most authors just dont pull it off very well - sad and depressing isnt the same as deep and profound. It often comes off as a cheap ploy and blatant grab at the readers heart strings. Maybe you were trying to show whats really important and the message was to pursue happiness while you can, but it didnt work for me. Seemed too much like a totally unrelated ending tacked on to a story that skipped over too much stuff before that. Sorry for being so harsh, but the ending made me mad more than sad. <p><p>

Still like your stories though even if I didnt get this one. Thanks for writing.

I really felt I knew and liked the couple and was

shocked when we get the bad news.

Although I hate sad endings, I still think this was a good story. We didn't really need to know all the details because in break-ups we don't always know everything the other person is thinking. They both knew they did things wrong in the marriage and both were committed to changing those things. Besides, the story was from Jack's point of view not Molly's so it was natural that we only knew what Jack was thinking. If anyone has seen the movie Premonition you'd understand that not all movies/stories have your traditional happy endings.

But it is your story and life does not reflect my desires!

<p>

I have to agree with the commentator below that we should

have had some explanation about what led Molly to ask for

the divorce. I admit that things that lead maybe people to call Jack and Molly weak are the things that make them real

to me! Another subject that was soft pedaled was the reaction

of the children to the original separation. I certainly expected them to have been telephoning all the time to make sure there father was not doing anything stupid. In fact the normal would have been to invite him to visit when he was

on his leave.< p > This, of course, suggests that either that

they did not like him, or that they were so selfish that they were unable to share his pain. There is a suggestion of this after Molly dies. As I said before, I would have

preferred a ten chapter story. Now I can see I would have preferred that it ended with him marrying again.. You have

room here for a lot of failed relationships before chapter

nine! Why not do it as a sequel?

Loved it. Keep writing. I'll admit to sheding a tear or two. Glad they got back together if only for a short time. High marks all around.

Frank,

Long Island, NY

I liked your story very much but didn't anticipate the ending.

Boyd

were very good but this one was very dissapointing.At one stage I began thinking that you were either a fashion designer or a real estate agent.The ending was to contrived and(for me)just did not work.

<p>I tried, I swear I did, but when the math of the months didn't add up, and then there was how quickly he couldn't wait to take Molly back, combined with the ending just killed it for me</p>

<p>By my calculation he had been separated from his wife, based on stories 1,2,and 3 for 11 months, but you start the story off with them having been separated just over 6 months. ??? It's things like that that start to hurt a story I start to get into, because in the back of my mind I start going "wow could I have handled the last 6 months alone" then I go "wow another 3 months there", then the main character starts talking about his lonely 6 months then I start wondering why the character can't add and I managed to do so just fine based on the story?? I don't mean to seem mean, but it's kinda of distracting for random months to be thrown in and then dismissed as quickly as they are added.</p>

<p>And the story seems to be told from the standpoint that if his wife didn't kick his butt in gear, in the form of throwing him out of the house, then he would never have bettered himself. Huh?? Cruelty is rewarded because it works out in the end? I guess I just don't get that point</p>

<p>And the ending just hurt the story for me, because it didn't seem to fit the rest of the story. =(</p>

<p>Sorry I just didn't really like the story as much as I thought I would.</p>

-Risq

Your story faded since Chapter 2 at the moment they've met first time at "Brunos" after a long period of separation. Since this moment the story lost tension and suspense. I am sorry but it's boring to read about a couple reconsile so easily. Besides the characters act a little bit wooden.(I'm not sure if it's the right expression in english. I imagine a pair of wooden marionettes. They only can live with ongoing reanimation by the author.) Maybe such stories are true but I don't want to read boring true stories. The sad ending doesn't compensate the lack of exitement. Maybe you'll give another writer the chance to write another run of events.

<p>Sincere regards</p>

<b>Nucleus</b>

*I was disappointed but try it again ... ;-)

Yeah Risq its clear Coaster 2 the author cant add. I came up with 11 months as well.

<br></br>

this story fails b/c even though the make up sex occurs Christmas day and Molly dies in OCT he never gets around to asking the BIG questions.

<br></br>

Just where did she learn to suck cock like that??? According to the story she NEVER did before. If she over heard other woman talking about HIM that does not explain her new found joy over oral sex!

<br></br>

why was she so unhappy? why didnt she bother talking to him first?

<br></br>

When MOLLY threw him out he could of started drinking.

He could of Killed himself.... he could of found someone else. The husband was handed a pile of shit... and he made turned it into Gold

<br></br>

HE chose to fix his diet NOT molly

<br></br>

He chose to stick with his diet plan and excerise

<br></br>

He found the new and better job.... Not Molly

<br></br>

it is offensive for the wimp husband to assert that Molly got him to make these changes.

<br></br>

what a waste of time.

Ch. 01 and 02 were as strong as any story on the site, but this chapter didn't quite work for me. The ending was too abrupt and seemed like it was added on as an after-thought. I think 03 would possibly have worked better without the last page or so. As far as the reconciliation - I guess it made sense, but I think I would have been sorely tempted to upgrade.

For those of you who struggle with the basics of the calendar, I offer the following. Molly kicks Jack out on June 5th (see Ch.03 re proposed 2nd Anniversary date). They reunite on Dec. 25th. One might argue that's closer to seven months than six, but nonetheless, it ain't eleven! They buy the new house in early January, and Molly is killed in November. Once again, since no date of death is specified, one might assume a span of eleven months. Is it really too complex for you boys?

She knew he was better than what he settled for. The fact that he exceeded her expectations and they ended up sharing happiness is more than many could realize in a lifetime. Unfortunately, not all lifetimes end in natural causes. Many end because of shear disappointment. Not all relationships end or are tested because of infidelity.

Thanks for a great story!!!

easylivin

Months smonths - so its hand grenades not darts. The variation on separation and divorce was interesting and a new path. It could have been gambling or drinking I suppose but I don't recall a sensible story on those subjects and divorce.<P>

Author I think your effort was strong and will pass the test of time and reflection. This was a simple shy man who turned his life around once provoked. It wasn't a kind jab by her so I'm not sure that I could have rebounded with her so easily as he did. <P>

She could have discussed it with him first while offering the reasons why. In defense however it might not have been as emotional nor the story that this was.<P>

All things considered, it's not all black and white and for every path taken there are a dozen others more better if only their vision could have been as good as ours - ha?<P>

Thanks Author - well conceived and delivered - and appreciated! -- More at interval please.<P>

With Very High Regard

In spite of what some detractors have said, I found this to be a very interesting and entertaining story. It certainly has more realism than a lot of stories posted in this category. The ending is sad and opens the door for a sequel. I think the husband's actions are typical of a

man who has been married that long.

I thought the pacing was off in a place or two but overall the storytelling was pretty good. The tale reminds me of the old ditty: "Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off. Start all over again." The author does a fine job of showing us how personal responsibility figures into our lives. Your happiness is your responsibility, no one else can make you happy. It's a state of mind that you must achieve for yourself.

<P>

I liked the couple's recommitment to loving each other, and the rebirth of their long-dead marriage. The sham was put aside and replaced with a living bond between husband and wife. It's a feel-good story, and the author succeeded because he made me feel good about the two main characters. They're admirable, and while they make mistakes, they're human enough to admit it and overcome them. Molly's death is tragic because Jack must go through the pain of loss and loneliness again, only this time there is no surcease.

<P>

My thanks for a story well-told.

Nothing I like more than someone who doesn't know what they are talking about accusing me that I can't do basic math. I'm sorry this is long, but it needed to be to prove a point.

<p>Dude (or Dudette) you need to go back to the <b>first</b> story if you want to start challenging me and say I can't do math. I said "from the start" that I was confused <i>"based on stories 1,2,<b>and</b> 3</i> (notice the point I made in my comment that all <b>three</b> stories didn't reconcile with each other) and that they all three didn't add up, not just because the author gave an artifical date in part three of the story, that suddenly the other date that were mentions were now all thrown out the window. Don't hide behind an "Anon" tag if your going to start throwing around veiled hidden insults.</p>

<p>But since "you" obviously feel I can't do basic math, please follow along with me a sec will you? Here's what I was talking about.</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page one Paragraph 1</i>:</p>

<p><i>When Molly threw me out of my house <b>four months ago</b>, I didn't know what had hit me. I couldn't figure out why the hell she would want to get rid of me.</i></p>

<p>At this point in the story, he didn't know why he was thrown out. He hadn't come to his realization yet it was him yet. He was still floundering and confused. Now 'Anon' poster stay with me here a second, if it was a total of <b>6 Months</b> that they were separated, give or take a week till he got back with his wife, why was he still floundering unsure and feeling unloved 4 months later with no idea of what to do and why it was happening to him. And this was before the months of severance pay, weightloss, new job history and etc..</p>

<p>But let's move on .... (^_^)</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 24 and 25</i>:</p>

<p><i>I think the thing that caused the change in my lifestyle after Molly chucked me out was one Sunday morning when I got out of the shower and walked into the bedroom to find some clothes for the day. The back of the closet door had a full length mirror and I guess I stopped and looked at myself critically for the first time in quite awhile.<p>

<p>What I saw was a 5 foot 9 inch, overweight, white skinned 54 year old male with a beer gut and more hair on his chest than he had on his head. In short, I looked like shit. I couldn't think of a single thing that would attract a woman and I began to see what Molly might have seen.</i></p>

<p>At this point the author's character mentions a few days going by here (just gave credit as sometime after the 4 months going by, because remember, according to the first paragraph at the 4 month mark he still didn't have a clue. But after that (days or weeks) he suddenly sees the light so to speak) But this is when he "First" comes to the realize that he is basically unattatractive. But lets, for the sake of keeping it a <b>round</b> number, say its still one day at the four month mark.</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 40</i>:</p>

<p><i>I'm willing to write a letter to your boss that you are suffering from a serious stress disorder and that you are currently unfit for work. Your insurance will cover you for up to six months, but I suggest we give you three months of leave.</i><p>

<p>If he just goes for the whole 3 months here as the doctor suggest, that will set him right up at the 7 month mark. 4 + 3 = 7. And if he and his wife split in June, then they wouldn't have gotten back together before <i><b>January</b></i> at the earliest. But again I digress.</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 51</i>:</p>

<p><i>When I stepped on the scales at the end of the month, I knew I had lost weight but I didn't know how much. Eleven pounds! From 207 down to 196 in just over four weeks.</i></p>

<p>Month 5 (4 + 1 month of weight loss = 5 months without Molly)</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 52</i>:</p>

<p><i>At the end of the second month, I had only lost another seven pounds and I was disappointed. </i></p>

<p>Month 6 (4 + 2nd month of weight loss = 6 months without Molly)</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 53</i>:</p>

<p><i>At the end of the third month, <b>a week after Labor Day</b>, I had lost another six pounds and I now weighed 183.</i></b>

<p> I can't speak for you, but here Labor Day is in September. And if we total up, Month <b>7</b> at this point. (4 months alone + 3rd month of weight loss, = 7 months still without Molly around)

<p>Story one: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 57</i>:</p>

<p><i>Thanks. I feel a lot better and strangely enough, I have a lot more confidence in myself. I've got another three months to look for a new job and I've got a couple of leads that I want to follow up, so there's hope for this old guy yet." I smiled</i></p>

<p>Lets see, goes back to doctor after 3 month stint and makes a comment about having another 3 months to look for a job. And this is all in story one. So at this point, working back from the 7 months he's been without Molly (since his weight loss), they would have to have split up in Feburary not June. And you call my math faulty.</p>

<p>Story one: <i>Page 2 Paragraph 9</i>:</p>

<p><i>I had answered an ad for a new position at a plastics manufacturer in Drayton; about twenty miles north of town. It was apparently a fast growing business and needed some people to get their systems under control. I got a phone call in <b>mid-September</b></i></p>

<p>Still September. But now remeber, from story one he's had taken the job that was offered to him in "September"</p>

<p>Story Two: <i>Page 1 Paragraph 63</i>:</p>

<p><i>The next three months were a whirlwind of work, work and more work. I landed in the job and started running that first morning and by the <b>Christmas – New Years break</b>, I hadn't stopped.</i></p>

<p> And at this point the three months from September to December jives. So that would make it 7 months + 3 months = 10 months. I gave it guestimates about a few weeks here based on various elements thrown in here and there, and rounded it up to about 11 months, but if hard pressed to use just the hard dates that were mentioned, it comes out to be 10 months from when Molly kicked him out till they got back together at christmas. Not 6 months as was later stated in Story 2 paragraph 49 where Molly says <i>"You're not the Jack that left that day in June."</i>. We totally lost the first 4 months of Jacks life where he was floundering unsure and didn't know what was going on and living by himself. Not to mention nameless weeks where he was bouncing around with no timeline given.

<p>I never said it should have been fixed at 10 months or the author was a horrible person because he didn't make his months add up, but that just a lot of the time line problems kept draging me back and I found myself looking at the inconsistancies more than I wanted too, and for me it started to become kinda of glaring, based on the first story which was the setup for the rest of the story.</p>

<p>I'm just sorry that in your rush to tell me how wrong I was you didn't acutally do any real reading yourself to make sure</p>

-Risq

a woman named Molly and Jack lived together 30 years, and when she did not do her job as home maker, feeding him fat and bad food he became shapeless, disillusioned and shabby. She got bored with him, kicked him out of their home. He took matters in his own hand, started eating proper food, and put himself in shape. She liked the change and took him back and they lived happily forever.

The end.

(This was about it, wasn't it?)

I am surprised that I enjoyed it so well since there was almost no conflict. It was a nice story about how a man changed his life around and finally lived up to his potential. Things seemed to fall into place too easily, and quickly, but it was a story, well written and much appreciated. I will look for this writer's next submission!

I thought your story was quite good. I liked the fact that Molly got her new sexual being from her own resources instead of having become a slut in Jack's absence.

Sometimes stories occur in unrealistic time frames because of the constraints of writing.

Basically, I really enjoyed your writing and will check out some of your other stories.

You did blow the timeline (Thanks, Risq) and Harry, as usual, nailed the salient points, BUT, I did like the tale. Sure, the Wife was shallow, but that ain't exactly a "man bites dog" kinda epiphany in the US.

A well written continuous story line not gee let’s sees how many sex scenes we can toss in story. You took the time to develop all your characters so many don’t and that leaves you wondering who and what they are. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Happy fucking trails.

yes, lame, tedious, boring, and totally uninspired and uninspiring characters.

I don't normally enjoy the sappy stories but you made your characters engaging and once they caught my attention I found I did not want to stop.

Thank you

Mark

that's what your are. thank you.

I stand by my Ch 2 comments based on what I had read then. My too bad, so sad comment was apt, but in the wrong context. This wraps the story up and is consistent with the title, but it sure is a downer, of course much of life is and then you die. No humor intended.

<P>

-- srgeek --

Complete WhoreShit!

The story fails on so many levels. The first level is she throws him out like so much fish bones. He cleans up his act, then when she sees what she did, HE TAKES HER BACK!! And he though his old boss was a shit. Hell, the wife takes the prize.

I'm very disappointed..

Well written, it combines elements of pain, redemption, self-discovery, reunion and finaly the biggest assbiter of them all----death. Thanks, it should remind many who have been married for awhile that if you or your marriage ever stop growing then you or your marriage can die also....

I read this as a didactic tale of possible self-realization and self-motivation. Carpe Diem in the small steps taken every day to build a better life. Molly's demise is sad, but it gives contrast to their accomplishments and makes them more visible as a couple -- just as an artist would do with light and shadow.

Damn - you just had to screw it up didn't you? Well I guess it is better than ending with him finding out the wife was some slut doing any and all.

throught out time and tide events occur its still a change. TK U MLJ LV NV

I liked the whole story until the end. It was like running into a brick wall. Just as everything was going well for them, BAM! It still gets a five because there is no 4.5.

The yo-yoing of Jack's focus in his personal life was irksome. Why reunite them if Molly is doomed. It seems the author was determined to end this story on a dour note after building up expectations for a successful makeover in matters of commerce & the heart.

Since this is as good a place as any to do a little Monday morning authoring , a interesting choice would have been Jack & Molly backsliding briefly into old,negative habits. The choice of what remedy to counter the return of the old regime had a lot of potential in my eyes.

Regardless, I do thank the author for a intriguing start . The story transitioned nicely & always kept moving albeit not in vectors I myself would have chosen. Here it is Coaster's world & he has generously given us all food for thought on multiple levels.

I actually teared up at the news of Molly's death, I might've didn't like her but I didn't want to see her dead. Ok so I finally understood why she wanted him back --because she found out other women wanted him so she realized she made a mistake . Ok got it--but I still didn't like how she she treated him like shit. Very sad ending.

Odd spelling mistakes that an editor could have cleaned up for you but otherwise a very well structured story. Unfortunately it reflects life - just when things are looking up fate wraps a 2x4 round your head.

But was he really ever lonely? Shocked, dismayed and just flat madder than hell, (Yes). He sucked it up and went on to build a new life. One more chapter please.

What a sad ending. I like reconciliation, but I was going to say that Jack should never trust Molly again. Her death was too much for me. Seldom does a wife do anything that they deserve that.

This chapter didn't live up to the rest of the story. The reconciliation seemed contrived since we never found out what triggered her decision to dump him in the first place. A little self exploration on her part, shared with him, would have helped.

Also, killing her off at the end just seemed cruel. Guy gets his life torn up by his wife leaving. He rebuilds himself into a better him and gets things together. So obviously we haven't handed him enough shit yet and have to start killing his loved ones so he can actually become the lonely old man we want him to be? Not a satisfying way to close what was turning into a love story.

He didn't dump her and move on, so Karma did!

We have to remember that BEFORE the split there were months/years of "Blah!" at best.

Then the trauma of the split.

Then after less than a year of new-found bliss you kill her off?

IF she HAD to die, couldn't it have been after a few years at least?

Better would have been a serious accident with an uncertain/arduous recovery.

She kicked him out and it led to changes in his life that put him on a path toward improvement. He took her back and it led to changes in her life that put her on a road to a fatal traffic accident.

great depressing ending. a story ruined in three paragraphs. good job.

I'm kind of glad she's gone! I'm sad for Jack, but after what she did, she didn't deserve the good fortune.

As I said earlier, I MAYBE could have taken a reconciliation with a post-nup, or after a clean divorce with a TRUE fresh start, but I don't trust that if she lived she wouldn't have divorced him in a few years and taken him to the cleaners.

“That took a lot of courage. I'm sure it wasn't easy for you but you did it.”

WTF? It didn’t take courage, it took selfishness! COURAGE would have been talking to him, risking him throwing HER out if he didn’t like what she had to say.

As I said in Ch 2, just because things worked out well for him doesn’t make what she did right! What if it drove him into a deep depression and he killed himself? What if he DIDN’T change his life and had a heart attack or a stroke?

Not sure what the terrible, tragic ending contributed to this story! I don't seek a depressed mood when I read a new tale. Suggest that the author find a more satisfying ending for his stories. A sudden disaster ending with no lead-in events is not my idea of sophisticated, craftsman-like storytelling Dan (phd70).

Not sure what the terrible, tragic ending contributed to this story! I don't seek a depressed mood when I read a new tale. Suggest that the author find a more satisfying ending for his stories. A sudden disaster ending with no lead-in events is not my idea of sophisticated, craftsman-like storytelling Dan (phd70).

Your ending sucked

Their lives were going too well, something was bound to destroy it. Sad at the end but a very good story.

Thank you for the strong ending - nice to see you didn't dodge it!

What was the point of putting them back together?

This story overall had an uplifting feel to it until the very sad ending. That is life.

This was a good story...but, didn't like the ending, at all. It had all the makings of a feel good tale of love restored...then you pull the rug out with a negative ending. not sure why and I really don't think it was needed. Instead of love lost/love restored, it became love lost/love restored/everything goes to shit...didn't need that last part.

Man, you can't help but kill the wives off can you? Wasn't needed here

The reality of life is, if your lucky, you find someone and grow old with them. If your not, you or they die early in life. If your luck is really bad, you either find no one or find someone that you have to sit and watch wither away, till they die. The reality of all life is, you live till you die, what you do with that time is up to you!

This was an ending that I could do without. I've been thru the sudden unexpected ending In my personal life and don't really care to read it in a story like this.Been there, done that,got the scars.Not really fond of the ones where the spouse dies and they find their new one in time,but that is better, for me that this kind of ending.This was a first and last reading of this story for me.

giddday coaster2

yep, its tough.

its a real bas%&r#.

from pressure comes diamonds.

your stories are full of life. life force.

life isnt all happy endings ahe.

and life goes on.

i have to say i reckon you did it with a gentle heart.

it aint pretty but sometimes it is wat it is.

cheers

the grief. Great story of a guy redefining himself and regaining his sense of self worth.

Didn't exactly understand the extreme actions of Molly in just divorcing his ass instead of starting a dialog about change.

In all honesty, I thought the story was heading toward our husband finding out that she had been fucking around and had gotten tired of being used as a slut. At that point, he'd have walked out for good.

Very sweet and sad overall.

Easily your best work on here. Yes, the ending was heart-breaking, and I was hoping he was going to find someone else, but it was too soon. Thank you for writing a story instead of just another sex story.

Such a wonderful tale of renewal, rekindling of love and then the ending that I just hate, Molly's tragic death. That after all of the buildup just ruined the happily ever after that you were building to. I guess that is life but it stinks. Well written but the end is a real downer.

The ending broke my heart, but nonetheless it was a great story.

Another great story from the master raconteur.

Among your best, Coaster2.

I particularly liked the unexpected sad twist at the end. Very jolting.

God damn that hurt... What a terribly lonely and horrid life to live. 5* but I hate the ending.

Doing pretty well until you killed off Molly. Disappointed from then on.

Unfuckingbelievable!!!! This bastard man went back to the bitch Molly!! After reading the Christmas party scene and the insurance part, I jumped straight to this page to see that the stupid bastard is back with the slut Molly!! Then the bitch dies!! THEY SHOULD HAVE DIVORCED FROM THE OUTSET!!

THE BITCH MOLLY WAS SELFISH

NOT WORTH READING

REALLY CRAP STORY ONCE HE GOT BACK WITH MOLLY!! SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH THE TEACHER

Thought that some form of infidelity would be discovered in the last part. Giving a reason for her wanting out of the marriage. Otherwise okay.

@anon - this author is wholly in the bag for her, whitewashing all the horrible things she did. No way the author would write anything bad like admitting she likely cheated. Hell, I'm super-surprised she let the amazing molly die, but I'm giving this part 4 stars, as now the main hero can find a deserving life partner.

I loved all three parts. But then I am really into the benefits of forgiveness. Didn’t expect Molly’s death but the “new” man will carry on and life will be good again.

Goddamn the MC just cant win. He rises from the lowest point in his life and gets his perfect life, profound happiness, only to lose the woman that made it perfect. It begins with him being crushed by Molly, and suffering loneliness; and ends with him being crushed by Molly and returned to loneliness.

Way to fucking break my heart lol