All Comments on 'Sprung Ch. 12'

You have three pretty good stories here, but this is my least favorite. Sarah turned into even more of a cheating slut than in the previous stories. We knew what was coming when she and Michael went to Mexico. They landed in a pretty posh Mexican whore house. She even got a free boob job. She spent three years refining her chosen craft as a whore. Like B'rer Fox throwing B'rer Rabbit in the briar patch. Not much punishment there . She blames Michael first, then Dave for something her own selfish actions brought on. I just really hate to see her end up landing so softly. I would have liked to see her land at least as badly as Michael. Dave, an Aussie badass, softened up in the end. Bitch was singed, but not burned. You are pretty good at this writing thing. I have been messing around with finishing one of the Sprung scenarios for my first story, but you've pretty much told the story. Good work.

So Sarah cheats, is kidnapped and forced to work as a prostitute for 3 years. Possibly earning for the Pimps around 3,000 per week, so 150,000 per year meaning she made them around 450,000! Her overhead and drugs wouldn't cost much.

Her Ex husband, a Government agent, divorces her but only gives her around 25% of their pre-split assets. Just imagine the court cases she could hit her ex with as Michael is able to confirm her story. Plus, her family deserves to know the actual truth what her ex did to her after he discovered her cheating. Plus, all the lovey dovey, big job offers etc by her former kidnappers where everything is all sweet sunshine back in Australia. It just defies any belief at all.

The police would know cartel was in Australia. Odds are they would have known before the plane landed... those phones internet and any property would have been bugged immediately.

She is lucky to be alive and reunited with her kids. She should be very grateful to he husband. Slap her sister and thank her husband!

Like to see her stay in Mexico and become El Senor's Mistress. She has no remorse over what she did to her husband or Family. She was always blaming someone else. instead of Dave going back to "make Love" to her she should have read about him and his new wife in the Society page or a Magazine.

OK 1st off, you not only jumped the shark with this, but swung right around and kicked it in the arse. Having moved past that, you write well and dug into Sarah's head pretty well I thought. I think toward the end her mental condition was such that she was not only suffering from Stokholm syndrome, but also she had been conditioned to accept that it wasn't that unreasonable of Dave to do as he did.

Some of your commentators seem to think she should be thankful to Dave, I think he got off lightly. I like to root for the wronged party, but in the grand scheme it was primarily the kids, then Racheal and her family then Sarah and Michael. Dave was wronged, but talk about sled hammer to crack a nut.

I had hoped that as her anger built she was going to come right round and throw it in his face, as it is all it will take is to piss Racheal off at the wrong time and she is likely to let everyone know what a cunt he was. I find it curious that no questions were raised about the blow up that night and more so that Susan didn't challenge Dave about doing it there and then.

She could tell her kids and Suzanne exactly the sort of psycho that Dave was, it's only fair they know what sort of man they are dealing with. A man that is willing to kill his wife over an affair her could have warned her not to continue, but preferred to remain silent and let her walk into his trap, like she said he was not the one keeping her safe.

The kids would hate him for depriving them of their mother for 3 years and putting her through that kind of hell. Suzanne, if she had any sense would run a mile and Sarah could get the divorce cancelled or at least reassessed and Dave locked up for fraud as it was done with false paperwork, plus everything else he arranged. More than that the cartel now have an affection for Sarah and are in Sydney, Dave really needs to be watching his back.

In my mind leaving her and Michael jobless, without money and severely shamed to friends and family before or while divorcing her would have worked that would have been the life sentence. Punishment though is usually with the end in mind that people become a better whatever they were before, student, citizen, etc. in this case wife, but he stripped her of that too and didn't have the balls to do it to her face. Sorry, there are BTB stories that are disproportionate, but fun, this one was so over the top without the internally logical resolution that she either remained away or came back and balanced the scales by burning him down. No mother would have accepted being kept away from her kids for 3 years so casually, no woman would have accepted being sold into prostitution and having surgery against her will so casually. The retribution she would have bought down on him would have, should have been scary to behold.

As I've said, you're a good writer, don't jump too far over the shark and retain internal logic even if you are walking in the realms of complete fantasy and you should do ok, I just couldn't mark this one high.

This was so bad. Every character was unlikable, no redeemable traits.

This is by far my favorite ending of this story, except for one thing. Although her anger at dave is understandable, she brought the entire thing on herself and is alone responsible. She shouod accept the situation, realize that she is blessed far more than she deserves and strive to correct the situation with her children and yes even dave. I have 0 sympathy for her, but do approve of her chance to get back to the real world and she should recognize it was daves decision to let her cime back. Just saying. I have 0 sympathy for cheaters and she was the worst kind of cheater and liar.

A little to sweet for me. They were sent to a bordello but he was kind of punished but she enjoyed it and enjoyed most of the men, etc.

Then she ends in a real good place. She lost her husband but I don't think that she really cared. She did care a little about her children.

I like to see the cheaters punished and the non-cheaters rewarded.

Thanks for the story and continuing the idea...even though I may not have liked the ending.

First, I rated five star. Obviously a lot of work and the story is well written.

I think the fun of these wife-cheats-aftermath stories is in the possible outcomes, from reconciliation to murder and all in between.

I have not seen another that enables the ruined wife have a come back. Good job with that.

A couple of twists and in all a great effort.

People don’t really care: Adultery. Monogamy. Cheating on taxes. Embezzlement...you think the majority of people, including the law, cares that someone cheated? My best friends wife cheated on him, you think I stopped being friends with her? When he tried hiding his income to avoid alimony, I told him to be honest. Likewise when he left his second wife for a woman he met off Tinder I’m still his friend.

No one really cares. I sure as fuck don’t. And if my wife were to be having an affair, I wouldn’t expect anyone to take sides. It’s our business, not theirs.

She got what she deserved and then some. though the whorehouse thing is a bit much. She blames him for what she did still to a degree and laments losing sometime with her kids, She really doesn't seem to regret what she did just getting caught.

NINE pages? Let's see how I do!

"Having a man besides my husband want me as much as Michael did, was doing my middle-aged ego a world of good." - I think I said this om one of the other versions, but I thought that it was only the HUSBAND'S ego that was the problem?

"If only sex with Dave wasn't so same-same." - Again, been said many times, if not here then in other stories, and of course sex with HER is NEVER "same-same," right? Maybe if SHE put the effort into their sex life that she put into this weekend, the sex with Dave wouldn't be so "same-same"! Maybe use some of that lingerie that was supposedly "too expensive" with Dave!

ASIS? No, please tell me you're not going the Special Forces route!

Where the hell is the money coming for this trip? Since it's NOT a business trip, she must be using vacation time. How will she explain the missing vacation time?

She felt ashamed that a "strange" man had fucked her? But another man (Michael) is okay?

Why would she feel guilty about FORCED sex, but not over cheating on her husband?

El Senor says she's one of the most beautiful women working for him? I thought she was a frumpy middle-aged housewife? I know she's exercised and had a boob job. but still!

Why does allowing Michael to return means that she has to return? Because Michael will talk? How much does he know?

Isn't it strange that the husband with the "same-same" sex was able to bring her to such sexual heights when she let him!

"Good-bye note?" This wasn't even mentioned until later!

Heh, I never thought of the bordello as a money laundering operation!

I thought El Senor was going to offer her Ana's job, what with Ana's illness.

I know it is her sad experience talking, but it's too bad she didn't follow her own advice before cheating!

If he cashed in favors OWED him. why does he now owe favors? Someone owes you a favor because of a favor you've already done; you don't owe a new favor for collecting on an old one!

"Dave" finished strong in school?

How is getting a card a "kickback?" It's not like she doesn't have to pay for what she charges!

Dave should have a cover story from Daniel for Sarah like hi did for Michael in case bitch Rachel tries to spill the beans. Then Dave can show how he was "protecting" her with is cover story about her illness and that she actually as bad as everyone thought she was.

Definitely the worst of the three.

No way Jose!!!

Pretty good until it got closer to the end and I began to feel like Dave should have gone ahead and had her killed. Nothing like a little money, powerful friends and an over paid job to blur the “moral to the story.” Sanctimonious doesn’t go far with me.

I doubt you'll please many readers with this one.

The point of the Mexican whorehouse cliche is to force an unfaithful wife to get fucked ragged and hate every minute of it as punishment for infidelity. Sending her to some "world class" bordello, where she learns to be a better whore, befriends the Madame and the wealthy crime boss didn't even seem like a punishment by the end!

Sarah barely regretted cheating on Dave, only being separated from the kids for 3 years... then she effortlessly reinserted herself into their lives. The tone of the whole story was far too sympathetic towards Sarah, especially with her ending up more beautiful than she started and loved by the rich and powerful. Dave getting kneed in the balls was pretty much how I felt after she magically turned her life around.

Get some comments by SB and PS. And whoever said the money and power ruined her ability to perceive her responsibility.

Yes murder and brothel were OTT options.

Severe fiscal and social consequences were justified, but not those two options.

Sprung 10 and 11 were impressive takes on and already epic start. Sprung 12 seemed like a stretch in a direction that was well researched but not very well thought out. I understand the "Mexican whore house route" and sending the lover along to service shemales was a nice touch but it seemed to far fetched to be believable . I gave you three stars for the effort and look foward to some original content from you.

Methinks

Putting Dave in a military intelligence job was a mistake. The architect career worked much better. Probably would have been better if Dave had a brother, cousin, or former client, with the contacts to make Sarah disappear. Suddenly throwing international espionage into the mix... made the story less believable. It might have been better if Dave had sold her into slavery.

Re: storyline- I really believe that Dave wasn’t out of line, putting her half a world away and imprisoned. Punishing the cheating wife is justified. If she wanted out and started a divorce, it’d be different. She lied to her family - all of them, son, daughter, husband, and sister. What she did, made her a terrible role model for teenage kids. I get Rachel’s anger, but she was out of line. Sarah, for her part, doesn’t realize that her actions would have done far more damage to her kids, than her disappearance.

Also, it almost seems Sarah benefited from her confinement. Her body improved, her wealth increased, great clothes, and she has a better job ahead- one she’s probably overpaid to perform. From her perspective, she mostly enjoyed herself as a courtesan. All in all, the punishment wasn’t terrible- it’s not like she spent the time in a cell eating slop.

IMO, as a cheat, she SHOULD forfeit contact with her kids.... and that truly is the only price she paid. One little ‘I’m sorry’ to Dave is nowhere’s near sufficient for the way she betrayed him.

On a final note, Dave should have asked El Senor to send Sarah’s and Michael’s passports, other forms of ID, and credit can, to him (in Australia) for the duration of confinement. I’d have burned all the identification, prohibiting any travel without embassy assistance and lots of embarrassment.

Up until you had Rachel assault Dave with no repercussions

...but worse than RAAC. She comes back rich and powerful. And the kids love her again. She lost nothing but the husband she was already cheating upon, but semi-retained his love. Fuck that.

Only the 3-weeks she was a cheap whore was punishment.

In essence she has access to more power than Dave now. Assuming she still thinks he’s just an architect, she could crush him. Of course he’s not, but he is backed by a slow, “shy”, though powerful bureaucracy, while she is backed by a multibillion dollar ruthless crimelord who loves her in his own way.

And how beautiful could she be? Very pretty? Very attractive? That I could understand. But you have her a raving beauty by the time she is kidnapped. From very pretty to the hottest thing in one of the most exclusive brothels. Please!

Also, Michael should have been given hormone treatments to transition. I that that was going to occur when it was shown he was depilated, but then he retained his masculinity.

Nope. Nope. Nope. Don’t like this one on so many levels.

3-stars

You went from BTB to RAAC and now this. Such is Literotica.

...but wayyyy too long.

And REALLY overdone with the luxurious lifestyle that Sarah now has, as if you had to overcompensate for her three years of punishment.

Your best work by far. There are always those that insist on RAAC, others that will settle for no less than BTB. I pity both camps. Just realize that either outcome can be appropriate in the right circumstances, and enjoy a well written entertaining (and let's not forget FREE) story.

Yes, I certainly think a related story would be good....El Señor becomes her live in lover and she becomes more pissed at what Dave did to her......Soooooo.....Dave and Suzanne disappear and end up in a Mexican whorehouse for a few years! Suzanne really likes it and becomes the Madam.....Dave doesn't fare so well and ends up coming home and hooking up with Michael/Michelle! Follows your story line pretty well, don't you think?...and you could do this in only another 6-8 chapters!

This has the makings of an entire series of stories about each of the characters, with all or some of the others intertwined. This was a great start, don't stop now!!

Keep going. Enjoyed the hell out of it. I don’t recall a story on here requiring more willing suspension of disbelief, but it was a page turner for me.

First ending was a dark story of betrayal, murder and an innocent unknowing husband.

Second ending was realville.

Third ending was a mix of 007, Austin Powers and every story device ever seen on LW. But it worked.

Very well done. Thank you for sharing.

I agree with Dave that she should have been killed or turned into a Crack whore. Michael should have been forcibly turned into a woman; then a crack whore!!!

Even better cut them both and let the sharks eat them slowly!!!

He is Bond, James Bond. I think it is silly and unnecessary to come up with that.

Death was a much simpler and safe option.

She was far too accepting of the rapes with little anger and forgiveness.

Well written, but unbelievable.

I guess I'd give up family for 3 years having sex 2 x's a day and ending up millionaire status. The story rambled in meaningless BS. Found myself skipping many paragraphs. All I've ever know about Mexican kidnaps don't go so well. Nice Try

Stupid story, sorry I wasted so much time on it

Wut? How is Dave not in jail? Her family had no response to him having her kidnapped and sold into prostitution for 3 years, except a slap and a nutshot? Not badly written, but too ludicrous to follow.

Decent enough story.I think the punishment she was subject to was way over the top and on her return should have used some of her contacts to even up the game with some punishment for Dave.

Decent story.I think Dave's revenge was over the top and that she should use her new friends ,to get some sort of payback to even the score.

Dumb

He left proof of his conspiring with an international criminal organization in writing in his ex wifes control

Even if she doesnt go to the criminal justice authorites she can go to his boss

He also let her out of her punishment and now she is telling people, you really think Rachel wont tell his kids?

Loved Dave's revenge. If you had him deck Rachel at the end, I'd have given it a 2 star rating instead of a 1. 2nd worst ending for this story. Congrats.

I can't say if version 10 really pleased me, despite the cheaters' death, that version was less credible.

A cartel owner is complacent about a traitorous woman, simply because of the memory of his own ex-wife, who was also a traitor who was killed by him, and when he repents, he moves the betrayed husband to change the punishment.

A luxury brothel, in a distant continent, where the manager and the bouncer "took care" of her, where "El Senõr", falls in love with her and treats her with zeal and affection.

The courtesan, becomes the "educator" of young people, internships as a manager, in the absence of Mrs. Ana and gains the respect of all.

Finally, she is "loved" by her betrayed husband, as a way of ending her penance and getting him out of the system ...

And other developments, which did not make much sense, functioning as a "resurgence from the ashes".

I will read your other works. I hope I was not mistaken when commenting on your first submission.

I will not give any stars. I will read again, more slowly and draw my conclusions.

And it is always the same thing: that is just my opinion.

And I will not say that English is not my native language.

You did to Mexican brothels with Pretty Woman did to streetwalkers.

Way too long. Unrepentant slut comes out happy? Terrible story, sorry I wasted my time reading this one.

Kidnapped in a foreign country: Kool!!!

Forced physical transformation: Yeah Baby!!

Relegated to whorehouse: Very Fucking Fitting!!

I 'm liking this story!

Wait, what? All those other young , fresh whores but El hefe wants the used up old slag?

The husband comes back and wants to fuck this long term whore that betrayed him in the worst way?

Wow, this started strong but the author ran this right into shit filled ditch.

Good story, loved the way it went all over the place. Believability quotient: pretty low, but I think the writer made it work somehow. It is fiction, after all. The story was worth way more than the sociopathic commenters here gave it. Wish they would have to experience just a fraction of what they want their women to go thru. No harsh and diabolical treatment or torture is enough for them to be happy. Despicable people.

I would end it here. Beyond this, for me, would seem tedious.

The woman earned what she got. She had not a care in her heart for the pain she would cause her family and husband.

Yes she suffered but deserved it.

She barely understood, even at the end, that her fate was of her own making.

She came out end better than she deserved.

Your three endings were amazingly diverse and thus fascinating.

A superb effort sir!

-highcountryrider

Sorry, but this is a ridiculous and really dumb version. It‘s for the haters on this forum.

Nope bad ending possibly the worst. Unbelievable to the point of being unreadable

El Senor? A thug with a heart of gold is still a thug. Maybe he should end up cleaning bodily waste in a drug rehab facility. And Rachel of the quick knee should be outed as a cheating slut like her sister

I generally liked this ending, but thought it got too tedious. Maybe 33% shorter might have been more interesting. I thank you for the story.

Ed

Uggh

I couldn't finish this. It started out out okay, but drug on way to much and was pretty stupid in implementation.

Convoluted and unrealistic to a ludicrous level. Dave should have caught Rachel and laid her out. Ridiculous that the cheater ended up better off with a happier life.

Just crap. I couldn’t finish it

This just story just went completely off the rails...

Hey, being in a Mexican brothel turns you into an angelic powerful lady.

Not worth a comment.

She’s lucky to be alive. Should have chummed the water and scuttled the boat they were in.

I’m sorry, but this is the worst of s10, s11 and s12. My God, this thing rambled on and on, going way too far off the rails and was no longer relevant to the original story. Absolutely zero need for so much info and detail. I had to start speed scrolling thru all the boring stuff just to finally make it to the end. Just nope.