All Comments on 'Squire Wilson's Saga'

.. . . it was still a good story.

What a great story!

It was nice to see Rene lose everything that mattered to her... the evil materialistic slut deserved nothing less.

Brilliant! Your stories are always a fantastic read five stars!

Thank you very much for sharing this with us

You kept having Maddy give confusing looks that pretty much told us how the story was going to end. You also had a conversation between two people away from the first person narrator that was not something he could know. Then you revealed the secret thoughts of an employee that even the two women having lunch could not know, never mind a guy miles away in a strip mall. Still, I did enjoy it!

The top 5 Foremost RIGHT (and wrong) Literary Features Employed To Multitudinous Effect by Charles_Bovary in the estimable and yet oh so HUMBLE opinion of LSD : the Lord of Literotica Exegesis. 

1) What Charles_Bovary did RIGHT : Nifty mix of first and third person narration. The intro had resident Jezebel opening with nascent plans to betray hubby. Then CB puts us directly in Squire's shoes and lets reader see how his core integrity and trust have made him vulnerable to her machinations. The hook is set and the game is afoot.

Kudos.

2) What Charles_Bovary did WRONG : File this under nitpick. I would have like Rene to have " a moment " or hesitate in process to scuttle her marriage .

Villains ultimately have to be true to their dastardly selves , but if author can briefly humanize them and make audience understand just how they took wrong fork in life road then a very good story goes sublime.

Maybe next time .

3) What Charles_Bovary did RIGHT : Supporting characters were MONEY with multiple distinct, individual voices. From Rene's ' BFF, to Amber's double agent turn to entrenched yet savvy law firm honcho.

Plaudits ... Mega-Plaudits in fact

4) What Charles_Bovary did WRONG : This is a matter of taste, but my preference is Robert have an Achilles heel outside of being such a relentless 24/7 Eagle Scout persona. I do desire a sympathetic lead but geez ! This guy made Tim Tebow look like Charlie Sheen in terms of virtue.

Just saying. 

5) What Charles_Bovary did RIGHT.

Really enjoyed the deke in terms of exactly who Robert was going to take on sea cruise. Maddy was right choice of course but Mary Margret had charms of her own.

Tip of the Tophat is accorded to deft nuance that MM wanted to catch Robert's marital fall , but wouldn't take direct role by betraying Rene's confidence.

Bottom Line(s): The good guys ( and girls ) came to cliff's edge and nearly took big fall but stiff upper lips and core integrity endowed them with golden parachutes. Leaving me with but one irksome question. Where can I search and evaluate Amber's Instagram account ? She's got diamond in rough sequel potential.

Ergo the obvious score and high seal of LSD appreciation.

Full marks * * * * *

Very enjoyable story.

This work was a very entertaining story, but I feel the time shifts were both unnecessary and distracting. Once or maybe even twice can be useful to create some tension or foreshadowing, but as used here, it was just Tarantino style jumping around. This is just my humble opinion.

Aside from that, I really enjoyed it and thank you for sharing.

Gave 5 but should have been a little less. I would have liked to have his wife suffer a lot more and be full of remorse for throwing away a good man. Apart from that well written and looking forward to more stories from this author.

She's well on her way to becoming a partner. Yeah, by screwing the boss!

"if we split I'd probably wind up paying alimony to Robert, and I won't stand for that" - So, it's fine for a cheating wife to collect alimony, but SHE won't stand for it when she's the one who has to pay?

Even with his mind clouded by X, how can he not see what that was about?!

He should go to the hospital to get tested for drugs.

Why wait until the meeting is breaking up to plant the camera, except for artificial dramatic tension. And muting the speaker won't cover his sigh of relief!

If Vance is violating the firm's code of conduct, THEY have a beef with Vance, Robert has nothing on the firm.

Heh, if Mary Margaret had been straight with him, she might have nabbed him!

If Amber's story was phony, and she didn't pay back the money. that should release Baker from his deal not to at least can her, if not prosecute her!

Is Maddy going back to Law School? She should, then they can open up a practice without worrying too much about money.

Thanks for sharing your work.

Enjoyed this a great deal. Nice. Thanks! 5*

a realy good read,, and it was something equating to realistic, no superman, no ex navy seal, just a normal chap with a shitty wife,, well done, realy enjoyed it,,

Entertaining to boot. But you killed my choices for who he ended up with. I would have thought Mary Margaret but perhaps that was too close to home, her being BFF's with his ex-wife. And, of course, her not telling him that Rene was cheating. Then I thought maybe Amber. She was the hot one, right? But you killed her off when you made her a liar AND an embezzler. I wasn't happy that you randomly made Maddy black because, lets face it, stereotypes suck. Two big questions came to mind. Why couldn't he remain and practice law in Houston? Baker wasn't likely to rock the boat as he knew that copies of the tape were out there. Maybe the deal should have included protection for Esquire's firm and work thrown his way that the bigger firm either didn't need or wasn't interested in? And why not let Maddy finish law school and open her own practice with him working in the background? They seemed to be in a rush to go to Costa Rica for no particular reason. Five million dollars is a lot of money, but they could blow thru it in a hurry if they weren't careful. Anywho, nicely played story. Well worth the read.

5 stars

It was more than just a BTB. It really told an interesting story.

Then, again, the BTB aspect was exceptionally good, too!

I loved this one. How he treated his wife's and his 'mutual friend' was perfect.

It's so rare to see in a story, but so accurate. No immersion lost.

And he picked the right woman to pursue, not greedy for money...but for experiences.

She'll make plenty of money with that attitude anyway

My ONLY single nit-pick was how he last interacted with his psycho wife. Who used black mail to hire an 'escort' to drug and seduce him....use it as blackmail over his head....and chuck him to the side to fuck her lover. When she asked for another chance...the proper response would be to laugh...laugh at her stupid unfeeling face.

That or be sarcastic and say. "sure, i'll forgive you! so long as you're cool with me taking lovers while i have you drugged doing something horrible i set up to personally keep you on a leash. that cool with you?"

Because it doesn't go up to 10 stars! Very good read

a safe escape route should be well planned and thought out, TK U MLJ LV NV

Thank you for a well written and entertaining read.

This is the best work for 2019 so far that I have read.

One weakness in CB work is that while he is driving solid crescendo of suspense he makes his heroes look more stupid than it is needed. For example entrapment by "Amber" was quite obvious in the way writer wrote and yet the main hero needed "Maddy" to reveal it to him even though "Maddy" knew a lot less than the main hero.

There is some editing needed as well since the writer mixed names of "Maddy" and "Amber" on the 5th page. Not a big deal but it shows there was no enough editing.

Overall this is a great story.

a 5* effort.

What you need to do is PROOF READ your work before you post it or have someone who's competent do it for you.

Here's just ONE of your truly DUMB errors that even a lousy proof reader would have picked up on.... <<< so I answered. "Hi, Maddy, sorry about disappearing on you last night. >>> He was talking to AMBER on the phone, not Maddy. He was in his office talking to Maddy when the phone rang.

The story is so good that I still gave it five stars.

Fun story to read. Baker agreeing to $5 million settlement on the spot against a video that was illegally made, and was illegal for him to even possess (remember Tripp is the one that went to prison, not Lewinsky or Clinton) was really contrived. But the author wants the protaganist to hit a lottery ticket (pretty close to the odds Baker would have agreed to that agreement), I'm fine with that. For a seasoned attorney, Baker was a pretty shitty attorney and negotiator. Amber agreeing so easily to help them out made no sense either as it was majorly against her interests and she didn't know him at all.

But the thing missing is both the emotions towards Rene and the emotions developing towards Maddy. Honestly, I really don't think he had any more feelings towards Rene at that point in marriage than she did towards him. During her law school years she probably spent hardly anytime with him, and when he was working full time and going to law school full time for 4 years he says most weeks they spent a couple of hours a week together at most. So 7 years of hardly spending anytime together, this relationship was dead. It was obviously dead for him as well, since he was falling for Maddy when he didn't know Rene was cheating and he was more than happy to cheat with Amber after one meeting (he didn't want the evening to end before he had the ecstacy) again before he knew Rene was cheating. She wanted out and wanted to protect her assets. If you don't love your spouse anymore (and I'm sure at that point neither of them loved one another) you're looking to the future and you want to come out of it as well as possible, especially if you feel that your spouse is being financially irresponsible on purpose. She should have lost something for trying to set him up and not just wanting to walk away with half the money and her lover, but not lose everything.

The one thing that worried me a bit was him getting Maddy out of law school to go travel around with him so impetuously. Her father was an attorney, mother a maid (assuming they were divorced, but a little detail not mentioned in the story), so that worries me about Maddy's future. But she had taken a leave of absence so felt a little better that she hadn't just left law school and then he realizes he really isn't that much into her and she's working as a waitress.

The reality is that firms would be fighting over Maddy. Strong grades, black, female. Every major firm would have been trying to recruit her.

He has to chose himself, apparently gives away his job to some slut he was 'grooming" so that he can slack off, since divorces, the bottom of the shit ladder in solo practice are what he likes to do and he feels his wife should support that forever not just college but forever. And if she doesn't she's stealing. Meanwhile, he extorts five million from an innocent man.

The Wife is just plain a cheating slut who won't fairly split.

The only non asshole is Maddy.

But seriously, what kind of jackass is happy being a divorce lawyer?

I was thinking squire would become successful and figure out his wife cheating and dump her. You took it to another place. So he blackmailed the owner of the law firm into coughing up 5million for his silence. I think it would have been better that he got success on his own rather than the way this was ended.

Very well written and plotted story. 5 stars.

However, the charges that Richard was threatening to sue Mr. Baker's firm with, conspiracy to defraud, legal malpractice, misuse of client funds, embezzlement, extortion, blackmail, violation of the Texas Bar Association's code of conduct would all be charges that might be brought against Rene, Vance or Amber but not the firm. The embezzlement by Amber might be an embarrassment to the firm, but not a crime by the firm. All told, I don't think Richard would have gotten a dime from the firm.

Great little tale. Smooth from end to end.

Danke

Don't know what to make of the new hotness, though. :-) Randi.

others will notice and do notice your character, TK U MLJ LV NV

"If Vance is violating the firm's code of conduct, THEY have a beef with Vance, Robert has nothing on the firm."

Vance was a junior partner of the firm. He was caught on video discussing, with another lawyer in the firm, a blackmail attempt that involved drugging someone, during a company event at the hotel. They wouldn't want that getting out.

One does not 'jump-shift'. The term is jump ship. Thanks for writing. About 2 pages too long.

Thanks for a great read I enjoyed every page. Would have like the two baddies to suffer loads more but hey that's real life for you. Thanks again.

Very enjoyable adventure with a pretty little romance thrown in.

Thank you!

That's the way to wrap up all the loose ends. He's a little slow on the uptake but he got there.

Thanks

A good little page turner. Worth the time and my energy. Solid. Hubby was a moron early on but got wise and came out on top.

What else is there? 5*

Very well done, my thanks to the author.

That was a very, very good story. On the surface, just another cheating wife, sexual blackmail story, but with subtle differences. One of the main characters is Black. Not just Black, but a beautiful, intelligent, strong, woman. A super rarity in LW stories for starters, but then there is relationship with a White man. Oh great, an ir relationship in LW? It works wonderfully. No extreme racial stereotypes, no superiority myths, no humiliation scenes. Just a relationship that grows between two likable people. A relationship that grows and makes the story work. An ir relationship that gets no notice, because it isn't shoved in anyone's face. Congratulations on that and your entire story.

Very good!

There have been *plenty* of black women 'final girls' in lw. Stangstar, qhml1, Randi, Cpete etc have written plenty of stories like this.

5* to this one , of course.

26thNC did have one strong point: the fact that Maddy is black in no way affects the central plot. Though even a narcissist like Rene would probably have recognized Maddy dressed in a maid’s uniform, it added a little suspense to the whole camera caper. All told, this is an excellent story well worth 5 stars. Thanks for writing. JPR

But why do authors have to portray men so stupid that they can't tell a shark from a guppy? Rene' didn't change from the woman he originally married, it was he who changed, at least in terms of career and earning potential. Which means Rene' was always selfish, shallow, unethical, and cruel. She just never turned it toward her husband until he became a liability to her image and happiness. But you can bet she treated others with the scorn and arrogance and superiority she turned on her husband once she identified his replacement.

Which begs the age old question, how did this dumb shit not see he was dating, marrying, then living with a snake? Just another shallow distant tepid marriage of convenience and momentum. They started dating, then fucking, then, well, let's get married, I guess. Why not? They never really knew and understood each other. And when the relationship started to sour there was no real effort made to explore, analyze, and resolve what was going wrong. Sure, Rene' was already one foot out the door, but in a real marriage a real husband would have questioned, then challenged, then confronted the obvious deterioration of the marriage. What did he have to lose? Either the marriage was worth fighting for or its was worth ending quick and clean, then moving on.

Oh well, most author's can't write characteristics they don't understand. Assertive intuitive discerning men are outside the understanding of most of these limp wrist timid writers. Weakness is not sensitivity. Temerity is not gentleness. Hesitation or procrastination is not thoughtful deliberation.

Let's hope his embracing a strong assertive intelligent woman is a sign that he has finally acquired some gonads. Hell need them to be an equal deserving partner with a woman like Maddy. They will make a beautiful couple, and even more beautiful babies.

Yep...I totally enjoyed this tale. Well done! 5* from me! Thanks so much for the story. Please keep writing and I will be watching for your next.

"Buckeye Fan"

Outstanding story!

Terrific story.

Liked it but before he picked the girl to settle with he definitely should’ve fucked his wifes best friend and Amber a few times. He deserved at least that.

Decent story but money doesn't last for ever,so what then?

The weakest part of the story is Amber doing a 180, and them some reason trusting her, when she could so easily stab them in the back.

Playing about who he would choose simply didn't work. It's pretty hamfisted trying to hide stuff from the reader like that in order to create fake drama, if you want to improve as a writer, avoid doing that, and perhaps edit it out of this story to boot.

It was super obvious that he would choose Maddy, he's shown being attracted to Amber, but the reader really didn't get to see any emotional connection, the author's choice shone through too clearly.

Great story, but terrible ending. It ruined it all. With a student, really!

Maybe a few weak moments,

but the only thing that ruffled my feathers,

was Squire getting turned on

watching his slut wife having sex.

I really didn't like that.

But I decided to forgive that, this time.

After all, Roland Garros on TV

and a smooth single malt by my side

tends to make me forgiving.

Top ratings from me.

This is fiction, remember? Look at the characters and how the story was constructed. How was the plot. You don't have to worry about your own morals be besmirched. After all, where are we? Literotica, correct?

And spotted 26thNC's I didn't realize Maddie was black. The story was so good, I knew he'd end up with her so it didn't even register to me as race by itself wasn't important. Guess that in itself means there is still hope for me. Thanks to the author and I agree as usual with 26thNC. Signed: BTW

In a simple bank accounts depending on the instirution you can get upwards of 4% interest

5 mill @4% is 200k

Average us income per household is just under 100K

That is 100K with taxes at wage levels roughly 30%

vs 200K with thasts at investment levels rougly 15%

70K vs 170K

witha nest egg of 2 million dollars, extremely conservitive investment strategies and not spending like a drunken salior anyone could avoid work for the rest of their lives

This wasn't a straight BTB story, How about a followup just with Amber.

This wasn't a straight BTB story, How about a followup just with Amber.

I see my wife fucking even having cheating kisses etc I am thinking of hanging him privates down over low heat until well done

Or maybe privates wrapped in wet leather bindings and letting them dry

Too much not for my kind of men

I agree a little bloody minded but I know a lot of men and women same mind set

Getting aroused by watching wife with another

Yes

Mental arousal thinking of all hurt and pain I want to inflict on cheaters

I'm looking forward to reading more of your well-crafted work in 2020.

This is my first read of any of your stories. If the others are a good as this story then I am in for a nice reading frenzy. Thanks so much.

good characters but Rene was the star, not satisfied with ending the marriage she went all out to completely destroy him, a truly evil self serving bitch always makes for a great story. great read 5*.

You nailed all of the boxes in my Good Story list. Well written, good character descriptions, characters all had some flaws, good folks win and naughty folks are punished. 5*s. Thanks for sharing.

"Most people would love to be in your shoes."

Hopefully not! Hopefully most people would rather have the love and support of their spouse than trade it in for their contempt, betrayal, and a bag of money.

Doesn't seem like a very good deal to me.

5 stars. Very enjoyable and well-written. The paranoid conspiracy theorist in me was half-expecting Vance or Rene to have engineered the buy out of the oil company he worked for.

Your bad characters are consistently bad and "get theirs' " and the likable characters are well behaved and reap rewards. Grammar and pacing are very good - you even know the difference between "lay/laid" and "lie/lay", a rare skill here on Lit. Nice plot although I agree Amber switched sides awfully quickly. Love the story!

Keep 'em comin'.

Excellent Sir, Excellent!!! 😊

What you wrote about law firms, however, is generally wrong. For example, the bit about Baker being an enemy who could force him out of town is ridiculous. There are a lot of small, highly profitable, firms whose practices wouldn't be affected one whit even if the managing partners of Vinson & Elkins and/or Baker & Botts hated them. So, that bit fell flat and was unnecessary.

I LOVE when a plan comes together!

Good story, till that last remark about amber lying about the money and her sister and never paid back didn’t fit.

Good story. Likeable characters, and most of the villains get some kind of retribution. But the last line was truly unfortunate. Maddy suggests that they have sex by referring to the video of his wife cheating on him? Ouch.

I am convinced that the gross majority of writers on here as masquerading as men. Men do not write this way and men would not portray their male lead as a complete fucking moron. I have a feeling the only actual honest writers on LW are the kink folk and that does nothing for me.

Seriously do you think men actually are this stupid, have brilliant women in proximity who guide them along yet fall in love with their stupidity, and at the end get everything? It's the stupid male part that eludes me. The entire story is obvious. Yeah some men are clueless that their wife is a cunt but those men are also ignoring their marriage. They are certainly not intelligent. And yes, I probably just offended many here who believe they were betrayed unjustly. They aren't wrong. No one should be cheated upon but unless you married a total sociopaths, broken marriages never just happen. It is a gradual failure to maintain intimacy and to communicate. That part is never one sided. To cheat is.

Anyway back to the beginning, the male is written with pity and veiled contempt. Men don't write that wag.

Wonderful Karma story!!!

Quite often when a storyline has been cast too widely it gets twisted as it gets drawn back in. The mc spends all night completing a plan which he admits, one way or the other, will end every possibility of his continuing to practice law in Houston. When Maddy wakes him up and tells him good-bye, he says:

"But . . . but, you can't go, Maddy. What will I do without you here?"

He then talks about their teamwork. As she leaves, he can still hear her crying as he answers his cell to act upon his plan.... Maybe the author might time that discussion for AFTER he sees Baker or tell Maddy that his practice is dust so she doesn't feel like she's abandoning him? Killing off Amber and Margaret right the end is unnecessary as it only serves to cheapen his choice: they were liars so he had to settle for Maddy.

Still, it's a very good story and well written. Thank you, Mssr. Bovary.

(Ever wonder why they always call it PRACTICING law? Maybe it's an admission that no matter how long they do it, no matter how hard they try, it's just not possible to do it right.)

LWlurker

An absolute 5! Re-readable and re-readable! A wonderful saga, indeed!

What will they do when the money runs out?.

No man is going to watch his wife cheat on him in real time with his intern and an acquaintance. Oh and those same females who just helped him are going to get off while watching the video and not have any compassion for the betrayed husband? Are you serious with this? Believability = 0

never been an intern never even seen one before tbh but i was sure that they didnt get paid from what i heard. as i said i diffidently could be wrong

The End

Oh, and 5-stars.

Good story. Robert made the right choice. 5*****

Good story, generally well written. If any lawyers from Baker Botts or Vinson & Elkins, Houston's two premiere law firms, read this, they probably are having conniption fits.

Good story.... Most interns (college & Law School) get paid. You had to stretch the truth a bit to get it to fit, however that's why they call it fiction. Besides, most of these stories put their head down and follow the same path....This one has some creativity and ends well. I thought he was going to take Amber....You switch from the friend hunting the husband and that was a good Red Herring. Love your style....

Mary Margaret Olson was a real bitch, like the wife!! She could have told the husband about the affair!!

A truly good story, well laid out and as others have commented, with a few twists! 5*

Dobbin55

Very well! 5*!!!

Great tale of high achievers . LP

Like "Squire" name and Maddy. good read, a little humor and BTB

⭐⭐⭐

another terrific story! please write more

Well written. Not sure I get the romance between Maddy and Robert. Where did that come from? The reveal about Amber at the end was interesting. Ugly on the inside. Though not a monster like Rene the entitled bitch queen.

Good job!!

Well written. Real flaw regarding how Vance was handled. Shuffling him all over the world cancel any value to his child.

He doesn't care about his wife of child so why keep him in the picture. Makes no sense and hurt the story.

Also, not sure where the Maddy love affair came from. Further, Maddie is just going to dump Law School? She loves the law, is brilliant and gutsy and HE should support her to the max. That part seemed rediculous. It depicts her as an airhead and him as a selfish man which is 180 deg opposite of the chracter you developed.

Good story but a simple proof read would have lead you to a path that would have made it great!

(3/18/2023) Loved it!

5 Stars on a well written story . Yes I would have taken Maddy also . Maddy always had his back and believed in him . What a Women to be stuck with for the rest of your lifre

Excellent

Very nice story. One good lawyer out of the whole bunch is probably about par for the course. Or so I’ve heard anyway. Thanks, Monsieur Bovary, for sharing a great story.

5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very good story. In between I had a short idea he would show the video to the whole conference ....

I'd love a nickname like Squire. Great story.

Although pleased the MC ended up with Maddie, I hate that Amber turned out to be so flawed. Her lies about her embezzlement of funds from the law firm change nothing of consequence in the plot. They transform a previously warm and safe place of refuge from treachery, however, into yet another hungry abyss of deceit and manipulation.

Well done.

Great story, 5/5

Great story. Love the justice! 5*