Staring at the Sun Ch. 13

"Maybe Rob would like a go afterwards, eh Richard? She's one hell of a cat in bed and I'm sure she can handle two men."

"No!" I struggle as Jake rips off my shirt, exposing my lacy bra. Rob is still fighting with Richard whose face is red with fury. I try and hit Jake but he grabs my hand and holds it behind my back, our eyes meeting.

"You like it a bit rough, eh Louise? Like to be watched as well, do you?"

"Bastard!" I spit at him and he laughs. "Not what you said this morning, sweetheart. You used a whole lot of different words then, didn't you?"

I cry out as Jake pushes me back onto the armchair, his leg between my knees. I gaze helplessly at Richard who is breathing heavily, his wrists secured with a pair of handcuffs that Rob must have brought with him.

My skirt is pushed up and with a sharp tug, Jake removes my knickers. I'm fully exposed now and I can see Rob staring at me, a leer on his face. Jake starts to unbutton his shorts, his face contorted with the emotions he's experiencing. I never believed anyone could be so evil and I close my eyes to shut out his face as he bends down to me, kissing me on the lips, his fingers groping at my pussy and making me cry out in protest.

"This can be avoided if you both sign those papers. What about it, Louise?"

I stare at him in confusion as he hovers over me, his eyes boring into mine. "Give me the controlling share and this will end now."

My eyes fill with tears as I realise what he's doing. Total humiliation for my husband in revenge for something that happened years ago. This is all about Richard, not me. I'm just a pawn in the great scheme of things and the realisation makes me feel worse than I've ever felt in my life.

"What then? What will happen if you take over?"

Jake smiles. "You'll have to answer to me, won't you? I'll be in charge of your little business."

We stare at each other and I can see the years ahead, Jake controlling our every move, our lives totally dependent on him. He smiles and looks around at Richard who has his eyes closed, his face deathly pale and clammy with sweat.

A crunch of tyres on the gravel makes all of us jump with nerves. Jake stands up and strides to the window, his fingers fumbling with the buttons on his shorts.

"Shit!" he exclaims as he stares out of the window. "This wasn't meant to happen."

"Let him go," he barks at Rob who reluctantly unlocks the handcuffs that bind my husband. "Get up!" he shouts to me as I hastily pull my shirt together, noticing that most of the buttons are missing.

He strides out of the room, followed by Rob and I'm left alone with my husband, who is looking shocked, his eyes wide in his pale face. He picks up the photograph again, rubbing his wrists which are red from the handcuffs.

"Who is she?"

He looks straight through me and I stifle a sob. I've never seen my husband look so confused. The strong man I married seems temporarily gone and my heart twists with a desperate sadness at what's happened to us. How can something that happened so long ago be relevant now?

Richard doesn't answer my question. He pushes past me and I can hear his footsteps receding away down the hall, leaving me with a deep well of emptiness that I'm convinced will never be filled.

I pull my shirt together and fumble with my knickers before making my way to the main entrance door, hearing female voices and the deeper tones of my host. The main door is open and I can see two tall slim figures standing there, piles of bags around their feet.

There is a sudden silence as they realise I'm there and Jilly looks at me in surprise. "What's up with you, Louise?" she asks as she takes in my wild hair and torn shirt.

I pause and suddenly sense that I have the power to end all this now. To put a stop to the blackmail. Why hadn't I thought about it before?

Jake looks at me and I can see the tension in my face reflected in his eyes. I can almost hear his thoughts as I hesitate, see his reaction were I to tell Jilly what had happened in her living room, adding to the mix the news that her best friend is betraying her at the same time.

And where would that leave Jake? By all accounts, he's completely dependent on Jilly's money for his lavish lifestyle, his business ventures and the lucrative vineyard that produces his stunning wines. The money would dry up, no doubt about it and a divorce swiftly follow. Sophie would slink back to her wealthy husband and Jake would be left alone and penniless. Hardly in a position to exploit Richard and me.

The women wait patiently as I continue to stare at Jake, his eyes dark and unreadable. Maybe he thought he was invincible but now I've found a way to pierce that armour and I'm not going to let him off lightly.

I shrug and smile. "Richard and I were fooling around by the pool...you know how it is. He was trying to throw me in."

The tension dissipates and I can feel Jake relax next to me. "If you'll excuse me I'll go and get changed."

Both women smile stiffly as I pass and I stare straight into Sophie's eyes. Her smile falters slightly and I feel a sense of jubilation as I make my way out into the afternoon sunlight.

*

It's evening and I'm sitting at the table in the tiny garden next to our room, a glass of water in front of me on the table. A terrible sense of loss and emptiness fills me as I watch the sunset. My life has changed beyond all recognition over the last ten days and I wonder if it will ever be the same again.

This afternoon, I stayed in our room and packed our suitcases, my heart filled with sadness as I remembered how excited I'd been at the start of the holiday. I feel betrayed and used, manipulated and taken advantage of. My husband's ulterior motives have made me question our marriage and my guilt at what I've done with Jake is a chasm that I doubt will ever be bridged. In some ways, Jake has got what he wanted. Our marriage split apart, never to be healed.

Richard disappeared again and I haven't seen him at all this afternoon. Our car has gone and I can only assume he is driving around the idyllic French countryside contemplating the future of both the business and our marriage. There are so many questions I want to ask, but my husband has shut me out completely. I know that the journey home will be painful and I can hardly think of the weeks to follow when we'll have to sort the mess out and deal with our crumbling marriage at the same time.

Footsteps on the terrace make me turn and I see Sophie LeGrange approaching, her beauty breathtaking in the early evening light. Her long blue dress shimmers in the glimmer of the candles and her dark hair flows over her shoulders. The half-smile on her face tells me she expected to find me here alone and I know that Jake would have ensured that we speak privately. One more minion to do his dirty work for him.

As she nears I smell her musky perfume which makes me almost reel. She's perfectly made up, her clothes and hair immaculate and I presume she always gets what she wants, including every man she's ever set her sights on.

"Louise...you're looking more composed now!" She laughs but her eyes fail to light up, giving the impression of coldness. Maybe she doesn't warm up in bed...

I smile politely and feel my heartbeat quicken. Women like Sophie have never made me feel at ease and I recognise in her the sort I avoid at home. Women who see life as one long competition to be won at all costs. I wonder if she knows how passionate Jake was in bed with me and have the satisfaction of knowing that his lust wasn't faked.

"Admiring the view? Beautiful isn't it?"

I ignore her question and she takes a seat next to me, gazing out over the view of ripening vines. I think back to Mike's vineyard and wonder how much Jake paid his friend to try and seduce me. And what was Lisa's role in my downfall?

Sophie seems unaware of my discomfort and turns to face me. "It won't work, you know. Jilly knows about us. She's known for ages."

Only now does she get a reaction from me. "You believe that, do you? You honestly believe that someone like Jilly would put up with her best friend fucking her husband? I know...shall we go ask her? We can all compare notes!"

Her eyes widen at my words and she looks shocked. "What do you mean?"

"Jake raped me last night, Sophie...he drugged my glass of wine, brought me back here and raped me. How does that make you feel?"

Her tanned face has paled at my outburst. You're lying. Jake would never do that."

"Wouldn't he? How can you be so sure?"

"Why? Why would he do something like that?"

Her confident demeanour has vanished and I can see her hands trembling slightly. She runs a hand through her hair, the rings on her fingers sparkling in the light, and glances nervously over at the house.

"You're lying to me, aren't you, Sophie? Jake's put you up to this. You've got just as much to lose as him."

I turn away and sip my water. I'm trembling as well, my hands shaking as they hold the glass. This is all just a game and Jake is the puppeteer controlling our strings. Richard's, Sophie's and mine.

"Did you tell Lisa about your affair with Jake?" I look back at Sophie as she sits in her chair, her face pinched and nervous.

She shrugs her shoulders. "I might have done. I can't remember."

I stare at her, wondering what her real relationship with Jilly is. Whether she secretly despises Jilly for her controlling behaviour and sees her affair as a way of getting back at Jake's perfect wife.

I lean towards Sophie and stare into her eyes. "Tell me, please. I feel so confused by all this. I don't know who to trust anymore. I thought I could trust Mike and Lisa but I couldn't. Do you understand?"

She nods. "This has all turned into such a mess. Jake spoke to me about you and Richard, of course. He told me that he was friends with your husband years ago and that he'd lost touch."

"What else did he tell you?"

Another shrug of her shoulders. "I can't remember everything he said. Sometimes he'd get so angry, as if the mere mention of Richard made him crazy."

I stand up and look over at the house. I can't face seeing anyone tonight and the thought of being with Jake feels me with fear. Memories of last night still fill my mind and I feel myself grow hot at what we'd done and how I'd given in so easily to him. I could, with just a few words, bring his perfect world crumbling down around his ears, but I know I can't. Enough is enough now. I want to get through this evening and stay in the room, pretend everything is fine in my world and then disappear tomorrow.

"Jilly doesn't know, does she?" I ask softly.

Sophie shakes her head. "No. She'd kill us both, I'm sure. Jilly can't abide anyone doing anything she doesn't know about. She wants to control everything."

"Does Jilly know about Alice?"

"Alice?"

I explain about Jake's long-lost first love and she looks confused. "I don't think so. Jake's never told me that she does and he never told me about her either. I doubt Jilly could bear the fact she was second best, do you?"

I have to agree. Whoever Alice was, she must have been pretty special to have affected Jake so much and to have remained an important part of his life years later. Richard has never mentioned her to me, or if he has, it was so unimportant that I never remembered. I wonder what this woman is doing now, blissfully unaware of the crisis she's causing in my life, how her actions 20 odd years ago have ruined my marriage.

I hear voices and see Jake and Rob walking out onto the distant terrace of the house. Diana and Jilly are standing a little way behind them, deep in conversation. Sophie and I fall silent and look at each other. Our faces must show the tension we're under at the moment and I know Sophie is watching me carefully, aware that I could disrupt the whole happy scene at any moment.

She puts her hand on my arm and I smile. "Don't worry, Sophie. I'm not the sort to make trouble, and Jake knows that."

The little group has stopped and Jilly spots us but before she can come over, I make my excuses to Sophie.

"I can't face anyone now. I'm going back inside."

The shadowy interior of the room is a balm to my tired eyes and I can hear the two women talking, their voices receding as they return to the terrace. Richard's still not back and I examine my mobile phone in case he's tried to contact me. But there aren't any missed calls and I sink down onto the bed, despair and worry making my hands shake.

I try Richard's number again but it clicks onto voicemail immediately and I stand up and go to the window, willing my husband to appear. When I turn and see Jake standing there, I cry out with surprise and fear.

"Not joining us tonight?"

"What do you think?"

We stare at each other and I can't help thinking back to this morning when he held me in his arms and made love to me. Was that real or just an illusion?

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I just want to find out what's happened to Richard."

My heart is beating furiously as he stands and watches me. A mixture of fear and a terrible attraction to him which I find almost impossible to comprehend in the circumstances.

"I need to explain."

"I don't want you here, Jake. I can't stand to be anywhere near you."

He pauses and I can feel the tension. "I know that, but I need to tell you about Alice."

"Why? What the hell has she got to do with all this?"

"I loved her, Louise. I thought you might be able to understand that."

"OK, you loved her. But why are we paying for that now?"

Jake runs his hand through his hair and his face is tortured. "I needed her so much. She was all I ever wanted. Richard wanted her and made sure he got her."

"Wouldn't it have been a good idea to have got back at him then, rather than now?"

Jake shrugs his shoulders. "Yes, you're right, but I thought that by doing that I would have driven her further away."

I sigh deeply. "I don't understand this at all, Jake. You don't come over as the sort that can harbour a grudge like this for so long. It was a youthful love affair. What has this got to do with us? How can you set out to ruin our marriage and our business over something that happened so long ago?"

"I've never forgotten her."

"So this offer to help Richard with the business...it was just a way of getting back at him. Revenge?"

"Yes. I've waited over twenty years and when he came to see me I took the opportunity."

I'm shocked at how calm he is. To stand there and admit to wanting to ruin our lives without the slightest hint of remorse make me shudder.

"What about my parents? The children? Did you never think of them?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I wanted to make Richard hurt as much as he hurt me. Do you know how it feels to see the person you love in the arms of another? How the pain can cut through you like a knife?"

I stare at him in astonishment. I would never have believed this was possible. "What happened?"

"I went to Richard's flat one afternoon and caught them in bed together." His voice shook slightly.

"But she wasn't your girlfriend, was she?"

"No, but she knew how I felt about her and Richard was well aware of my feelings."

"So you decided to get revenge?"

"Why not? I still love her."

I stare at him in amazement. This is not the Jake I know. "Does Jilly know this?"

"Of course not! I married her in the hope I'd get over Alice but it hasn't worked. Our marriage is a sham."

"What about Sophie?"

His face softens slightly and, amazingly, I feel a twist of jealousy inside me. "She's a beautiful woman but I don't love her either. She's just a pleasant diversion from real life."

"And where does Mike fit in with all this? And Lisa?"

Jake shrugs his shoulders. "I promised Mike I'd lend him some money to buy all the equipment he needs to make his vineyard more successful and able to compete with the big guys. He's ruthless in that, Louise. He was more than willing to fuck you on camera in return for an interest free loan."

I gasp with shock. "Why? What had I ever done?"

For the first time I see a hint of shame cross Jake's features. "You didn't do anything and that's why I'm here now. It was Richard I wanted to get back at. You were just convenient at being there to help me."

The tears start to gather in my eyes as I face him and my stomach contracts with physical pain. "You still haven't explained what Lisa has to do with all this."

Jake smiles. "Ah, my sweet little Lisa. She really did think a lot of you and took a hell of a lot of persuading. But the thought of a free flight home and a job with me in London finally did it."

"Persuading to do what?"

He looks at me in surprise. "Well, to get you to go and stay with them. How else could Mike have his wicked way with you?"

I sink down onto the bed and Jake takes that as a sign to move further into the room. "Look, Louise...I'm sorry. If you'd had sex with him I'd never have had to drug you like I did. And I'm sorry about that...never done anything like that before."

"Rob?"

"Yeah, his idea, but apart from that he's had nothing to do with all this. And Diana..."

"Diana what?"

"Don't think ill of her."

A noise behind Jake makes both of us start and I gasp when I see my husband standing there, his face more angry than I've ever seen it.

"Explained everything now?" he asks quietly, but I can his hands are clenched.

Jake takes one last look at me and turns on his heel to go, but Richard puts out his hand to stop him.

"If any of this ever gets out, Jake, I swear to God I'll ruin you for ever. Do you understand that? Jilly will know everything and so will her parents."

Jake pauses and then without a word he's gone, his footsteps crunching on the gravel, leaving a terrible silence between us.

Richard looks at me and there's no expression on his face, his eyes empty. I stand up and go towards him to take his hands but he pulls them away. "Leave me alone, Louise. You've done enough damage."

I sob, the emotions from the last few days too much to keep under control any more. But Richard just stares at me and makes no attempt to comfort me even though he's always hated to see me cry.

"I'm going back home tonight. I've decided. You can stay here and do what you want, but I can't be in this house any more with either you or the Harpers. You all disgust me."

I stare at my husband in shock. This was not what I expected. I imagined us driving home together, the long journey giving us the opportunity to talk about what had happened and the chance for me to explain how Jake had manipulated us both.

"What? You can't just leave like that. We need to talk about this, Richard."

"What the hell is there to talk about? You slept with him, Louise! There's no excuse for that! And what about Mike? Planning a threesome were you?"

His face is furious and his skin flushed red. "When I think what I went through to try and save the business, Louise. The plans I made to try and keep our lifestyle normal. And what do you do? End up screwing every man who comes into contact with you!"

"It's not like that!" I fling back at him. "I never slept with Mike and Jake drugged me! You know how I feel about him!"

"You're a fucking good actress, darling," he sneers, going over to the window.

"Can't you see what he was doing? He was blackmailing us, Richard, and I was just caught up in it. I didn't even want to come here!"

"Then what was it with Mike? I saw the looks you gave him, Louise. You can't deny that."

We look at each other and I can't excuse my behaviour. He's right. If I'd had the opportunity I would have made love with Mike without any persuading. Richard realises this and looks away, his face full of disgust.

"I'm leaving now," he states. "I think it's a good idea we have some time apart. I'm sure you can get a flight from Bordeaux to the UK. You said you had some money saved up?"