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Click hereHis tone is cold now, no hint of emotion at all. At least when he was angry I felt we were getting somewhere, some way to sorting out our marriage, but he is detached and business-like now and the feelings of panic and fear return. How can I stay here on my own without him?
"Please, Richard...you can't leave me here like this..."
"Why?"
"Why? Because we need to sort this out. We have children, a home together. What about the business?"
"The business is over. I give it a couple of months before the bank shuts us down."
I slump onto the bed, my heart hammering. Richard remains at the window staring out at the evening sunset. "Let me come home with you, please. We've got to talk about this."
He shrugs his shoulders and I seize the opportunity to go to him, the tears streaming down my face. As I put my arms around him, he doesn't resist, and I hold him tightly, feeling his body start to finally relax...
- COMMENTS
Anonymousabout 17 years agoAnother case of writing on the fly. You have talent but a lot of this is non-sensical. The revenge I understand but little else with this cast of inhumane characters who step and fetch at your need but can't stay on the same path as 5 minutes ago.<P>
13 chapters to get here - puzzlingly extended, supplemented and blown out with contradictions and character changes.<P>
You have done better and will again
john-the-authorabout 17 years ago...but Richard's a goddamned fool. I think that he's seen quite enough of Jake's behavior and general brutality to give every credibility to Louise's statements about what happened. The fact that she was eyeing Mike.... eh, so what? Nothing happened and it's a poor excuse for a man who's going to get so wrapped up around what *might* have happened even when it didn't. In addition to which, it's fairly clear that Mike was pouring on the charm to seduce Louise at Jake's behest, so we're talking about an artificially created situation that Jake has still manufactured as part of his plan of revenge.
I gave this a 5, but Richard should just suck it up and get on with it. The woman he loves has been drugged and raped and all he's thinking about is how she might have been unfaithful given half a chance but didn't? Jerk.
MacDukeabout 17 years agoSuch a nice morning after fuck for Louise and Jake! Not sure where you are going with this, but am looking forward to the final chapter.
Anonymousabout 17 years agoa person who has just made an accusation, loud and long, about Jake having drugged and raped her --- who was, before being interruped by others, was going to hold her husband and make him watch her being raped again, by different men --- now stood next to Jake and calmly discussed history, psychology, and quasi philosophical thoughts with him? <p>
errr, year, right,,,,,,,, And, Oh, Richard, the great hero and former Romeo: just just walked away to drive around for HOURS after he and his wife came close to doing a rough sex, gang-banging orgy,,,,,,, he left simply because Jilly and Sohpied walked in on them, disrupting Rob's and Jake intended rape and sodomize scene.....<p>
"Oh, nothin' at all, dear Silly.... My beloved husband threw me into the pool and I'm all wet, 'tis all.... Now, show we go and serve the men.... Hmmmm, where's that little darlin' husband of mine... He and I was just makin' love a few minutes ago.... where's he now....Oh, well, no matter... Dear Jake,,, could you come and help me take my wet bathing suit off, since Richard's not here?" LOLLLLL!! <p>
Sort of like Don Dellilo's WHITE NICE, the surreal-ness of it; except this is not sophistictaed enough. It's a little soap opera that's totally silly and unbelievable.... But, oh, the fake tears of Louise,,, they run like the amazing rains! LOL
PEATBOGabout 17 years agoWow Janie, this was a mind twister! Jake the ace manipulator, controlling events just to get revenge on Richard for taking Alice some 20 years prior. An interesting twist that I need to think about! So my suspicions regarding Jilly were unfounded her only offence being that she controls Jake's purse strings. Louise knows that "she can, with just a few words, bring his perfect world crumbling down around his ears", so why can't she? If Chapter 14 is to be the finale then we can look forward to something outstanding with you tying up many loose ends. Don't keep us waiting too long please. Pete.
