by StephanieSeymour
Your descriptions move very quickly from one scene to another without enough description to really make the reader feel like hes there; I havent quite figured out how Ramon's cock grew from a hard half a foot in one paragraph to 8 inches in another, that would be 2/3 of a foot.
like some others, i think you moved a bit too quickly and that half a foot to eight inches, i wish i had that power...the one thing that really get me though is the A2M, i just have a hard time suspending disbelief