All Comments on 'Steppin' Stone'

2 invitees 'write together', technically NOT a 750 word story for either. What's wrong Bebop? Couldn't come up with your own? 1*

Not to be too picky, but "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" was a song by The Monkees, not The Beatles.

The rest of the story was pretty somber , bordering on self-rightous. No dig at Bebop3 , this was skilled reflection of workaholic who as a breed are much like champion boxers past their prime . Just one last deal/ comeback fight and then I'll devote self to family. A likely story… and in this case constructed with nuance and care.

Ergo the obvious score

Full marks *****

Sometimes the best revenge is letting the other guy have your wife! Well played!

"she didn't allow me to do the small things" - THAT'S an interesting line!

I guess I'm mean, I would have exposed his affairs.

You DID notice that Bebop had another story, didn't you?

This in combination with steve was quite well done!

Nice nasty little twist. This is a great companion piece!

Congratulations?

I'd say they didn't write together (Stev and BB)....

I had a feeling of disjointedness in the shift from Lisa being pretty and happy in the first piece to her being haggard and self involved in this one. I suppose if you want the guys' "you look good" to be polite fiction, and the work with Tim to be... I'm not sure what, it could be supported.

Anyway, an interesting swing from the earlier story - I thought the part with "God help you if you don't make her happy." at the end showed some heart.

Green-something

I.like this.one better than it's companion. Seems a little more real to me.

This one from the husband's point of view, but it was also almost the exact opposite of what Steve wrote. In this one, the wife cheated, in the other, no one cheated. Hmm.

This was well written, thanks for posting.

A lot of folks simply can't stand having a LW story with a strong woman character, so they have to shoehorn an alternate ending making the woman the villain and her husband the tough-guy hero. This ending added nothing to the original except that ham-fisted BTB twist that we've seen in every other BTB tale.

One story where the woman was decent and the man had issues and immediately there has to be a counter-story. I swear LW is full of bitter, lonely, misogynist men that can't even have one story where a wife is a decent human being and the husband's character is conflicted.

Plus, this story completely contradicts all of the info which Martin in the original story doesn't counter. Such as the wife walking away from the money, the wife looking better than ever (according to Martin), him being an ass holding his money over her where she doesn't care about it.

That is a great ending to the story. Thank you.

Payback is a bitch

Money buys many things. But when Tim goes to the police, I don't know if Marty's money can buy his freedom. Your choice to make Lisa a Doctor of Philosophy was funny. But even if she teaches at a small college, she'd do pretty well. Of course if Tim is a complete sleezeball he's probably going to simply disappear. The worlds a big place. Is Marty really going to waste time and money just to try and find him? Not likely. I wonder if Marty ever considered Tim might just decide to permanently hurt Marty? Again - not likely. I guess because I did read Stev2244's story first this one was less palatable and seemed less believable. Thanks for the contribution.

How is it that the wife is being the husband in in never comes up about the miscarriage and lost baby? But the husband can recall?

Costermonger? You hoe! Did you think you could conceal this from me? My vengeance will be swift and horrible. Good story though, hoe. Randi.

This is not a companion piece but a poor counter piece. You should have left it alone.

"In this one, the wife cheated, in the other, no one cheated." - Um, no. This one agrees that she hadn't cheated, YET, but puts the lie to her statement that her threat to leave was just a "wake-up call," since she had reservations, plane tickets and lingerie purchased.

Wow, really craptastic and does not show the husband's perspective, but rewrites the whole story so the whiny loser husband can win. Talk about fragile masculinity. Can't let the women win one, could you? How about you write your own stories and stop ruining others.

There are three sides to every story. What she said, what he said, and the truth.

I've seen several experimental pieces in the 750 Project. It's a good place for them. I'm not sure this one worked though. It's almost like you tried to undermine Stev2244's story rather than expand it. It came off as kind of petty. But just trying to flip the script was a worthy experiment. Kudos for having the idea to try it.

"Title

Not to be too picky, but "(I'm Not Your) Steppin' Stone" was a song by The Monkees, not The Beatles."

Written by Tommy Boyce and Bobby Hart.

You are much better than this. Don't do it again! Yeets!

R.

I wonder if they knew that Stev2244 was aware of this and authorized it, in advance? Weird. Anyway, you're obviously a misogynistic bastard, and I am going to break your arm, next time I see you. I can take a 94 year old man. Good writing, as always. Thanks, Randi.

I realize that this is from a different point of view. But these felt like different characters. I think Chad disappears with no consequences. No problem. And Pauline French didn't go very far. She shows up in JPB's stories all the time.

Too short,would have liked to know if Tim was adutiful husband.However I can't see why he would want his ex wife to be happy.Pay back would for Tim to still mess around and his ex-wife to find out,KARMA.

Sang stepping stone

You seem to be doing the monkees, so to speak and HDK... okay, my bad.

Old Testament, don’t you think? Haven’t seen this before.

One where she susses out the new guys scam leaves tries to go back to first hubby who says Nope sorry not do overs

No mater how high you pile the crap, it’s still crap!

Was stinking in original and looks worse in the retry.

...she’d have show true intent. Empty threats wouldn’t work. But he gave her enough rope because he wanted to see if she really meant it.

Hmmm... I guess we’ll never know.

You actually took a good story about love, companionship and caring overcoming wealth and made it into a sham where the ignored wife was fooled and the workaholic husband turns into some kind of savior. What a crock! How could you do something like that.

Thought your addition was very smart, added a bit of reality to a simp story. Didn't btb, nor was waving a soy milkshake in my face.

It's a plot twist for for the sake of a plot twist. No real man would do this, but you seem to write pretty good. So two stars.

I liked it a good twisted chater.

Now we need another chapter to close this story line up.

She gets sense and comes back somehow, or she is remorseful as he finds someone else.

But ending the story of him being hurt and always looking out for her is far to sad a way to end the tale

Well... The comments were more interesting than the story, if you can call it that. You could tell which character the readers identified with by their comments. Besides the title, I'm not really sure what the story had to do with the Beatles' song. Of course, HDK doesn't need me to defend him his writing speaks for itself. Was it your intention to have people rate this as a story, a 750 word essay (actually doesn't really qualify for an essay) or what? no rating

Like the twist,Tim is forced to marry her knowing she is broke and as to stay true to his vows,good payback.

Wow, sounds like all of them get punished in this scenario. I can dig it.

Well, that was different! Well done nonetheless. Great twist for a flash story

I enjoyed it the first time, but knowing SwingerJoe hated it makes it that much better.

"Steppin' Stone" isn't a Beatles song. It's a Monkees song.

A bit incoherent to me. Especially the first couple of paragraphs. Believe the author changed Jay's sex several time. Not impressed by rich bullies that can't hold onto their wives.

Interesting twist, short a sweet. Not sure about holding on to wives makes you a man or not. Why should you have to hold on when we take a vow and make a promise? I as a man, married twice and never even thought about cheating. The first wife thought about it and did, no excuses, no faith no real commitment. If you want to cheat why get married.

Experience has made me give this advice: Never get married, but, if you do never get a divorce.

Why would you want the cheating cunt to be happy? Just ridiculous ⭐️

That's true love.

Ed

Good story, but I have to ask, as an old man, what the hell is yet? I gave it 4 stars

Aaah, no. Not nearly as good as the other one and that was bad. Have faith in your own stories and keep away from :wanna make chicken soup outa chicken shiiit, mon.

Cheers,

Captcha

Eh, discombobulated and convoluted.

"You're about as useless as a poopy-flavored lollipop!"

-Patches O'hoolihan

Stepping Stone was a song by the Monkees, not the Beatles…….

I read the first, and this is just so different that I'm not giving you any credit. Taking someone else's story and then completely flipping the story on its head to suit your own just doesn't work for me. So I might check out other stuff you've done, but this isn't great.

Actually it wasn't even the Monkees even though they did cover the song. The song was first released in the US by Paul Revere and the Raiders.

different, interesting