All Comments on 'Strands of Gray'

Keep on writing, your stories crack me up and make me smile. We all could use more humor nowadays.

Hubby stopped. Stopped seducing his wife. Stopped being a husband and father. Stopped treating his family like they were important and more like they were an imposition on his valuable time. No wonder she cheated on him, she had an admirer who desired her. Thought she was worth pursuing.

If hes upset, he should admit he was part of the problem. Now both of them get to grow old alone because oddly enough, most hotties dont want some potbellied loser boinking them.

Not much of an effort, not much of a score. She had sex with the teenage neighbor because she found some gray hairs? Just one day decided to cheat because she had gray hair? Ridiculous. Everything here was ridiculous. If this was supposed to be humor, it failed. Two stars.

You know, I didn't despise the tale. I thought it was completely average. Therefore, a three rating.

a statement is made that the man stopped seducing his wife but why is it always the man's fault. The wife is not working and it should be her job to ignite the relationship. She has the time and energy, when she did in this story William was all in so don't blame the guy who works all day and brings home the bacon. TK

A very good portrayal of a realistic scenario. Most intelligent people think before resorting to violence but that doesn't mean they can live with a selfish cheater. He may not have forgiven her as his wife, but after a period of time he will probably be able to forgive her as his ExWife. That forgiveness will help him move on but wil likely be cold comfort for her.

Vaguely unsatisfied. Needed more.

Didn't mind the plot or direction but was maybe too short to satisfy what was happening.

I'm a BTB crowd, and I liked it!

When the Preface lists all the reasons why I shouldn't bother reading, who am I to argue.

Bye!

You've literally pulled that shit straight out of your own asshole. Made it up whole cloth. What you said isn't in the story. The wife's infidelity was clearly triggered by a bout of insecurity and a little bad timing. I'm really curious why you want it to be all hubby's fault so damn badly?

As to the story, it really is too short. There's not enough time for the emotional fallout to play out in a satisfying manner. You rushed through the good part to get to the boring as hell splitting of the assets bit.

You're intro is annoying as well. Just starts the reading experience off on the wrong foot.

I agree totally.

In so many of these stories the husband is blamed for "not seducing the wife," but when was the last time she greeted him at the door in a sexy nightie? Maybe not here, but often the wife swallows for the lover while rarely giving her husband blow jobs, or does anal when her husband would get kicked out of bed for just fingering her ass! When was the last time SHE suggested a different position or something?

Just a question no one asked: If he found her fucking a strange 40 years old man, wouldn't he reacted the same way? Almost all his reasoning began with: "You fucked a 18 years old boy"! This writer have written way better stories...3*

She learned you don't fuck around on William

Two rotten people divorce- meet an idiot judge and counselor. Whoop

After “Nobody” there was REAL crap to read, this is only two pages, decided to give it a shot.

“William Richards, her husband, often praised her rear as well.” – That doesn’t sound inattentive!

She takes her gray hair out on her daughter, nice person!

“Penny had teased her stick in the mud husband.” – Oh, I forgot, her husband’s a stick-in-the-mud, okay, you can cheat.

SHE calls HIM “Daddy,” and we’re supposed to feel sympathy because she feels old?

It’s “been a while” since they “got busy?” – How many times since then has she come on to him?

“Then she leaned over and kissed him.” – So far there’s been no indication that her husband has been neglecting her, certainly no more than she has been neglecting him; other than some looks Harris hasn’t exactly been seducing he, and she kisses him. This is all on her!

She couldn’t shave her pussy for her husband, but to hide her gray hairs? SURE! “What better reason than a few strands of gray?” – Um, to please your husband?

What a monster! He wakes up, only “murmurs ‘Love you’,” makes breakfast and lunches, boy, he deserves to be cuckolded!

"Want you get to, what is it? Thursday? No, want you to get to Western Civilization," - What the Hell does this mean? I THINK Clay’s first class is Western Civ, and William is afraid he’ll miss it if he takes Jennica to school? I know you said you don’t want an editor, but when I have to read a sentence two or three times just to make a GUESS as to what it means, it takes away from the story.

She rebuffed William’s advances, so much for the neglected wife excuse.

She wanted to “fight” for the marriage? No, she just wanted to fight the divorce!

She herself said it at the end, she should have just got some hair dye.

Thanks for sharing.

Short but true. I have found that in a divorce NO one wins.

disapointed it was so short though, as my wife often says!

I wish I'd thought of that.

If the husband isn't fucking young Theresa Prejean, then he's a wimp.

No glaring errors and as an 18 year old who went from weeding a neighbors yard to ploughing her mound in what seemed like less than a heartbeat its not tough to believe. Unlike this there was never a round two and her muff was something Livingston might have hacked through trying to find the Nile. Just can't fathom reconciliation, certainly can't blame William. No comeupence for the horny little truant. That is the glaring ommission. He stalked his prey, he worked the room and got the pay off. He is an adult desrving consequences as well. At least take away his phone. Great story. 5*

Well paced story of imperfect people making mistakes and bearing the consequences of their actions. Willam was correct in explaining to his wife and the counselor that wifey would have gone ballistic if the situation had been reversed. IRL they will both move on.

Yes, this story had many of the faults both you and others point out, but I had absolutely no trouble reading and understanding it, so I give you a 4. I deducted a point because of your lack of buildup. I think the setting of the scene—the things you describe between first contact and actual sex is as important to a story as foreplay is to real life sex. Sadly, you are lacking that in this story.

There was a point made by one reader that made me go back and check: "Want you get to, what is it? Thursday? No, want you to get to Western Civilization," William said.

I had no trouble here, but I can see how another, who may not read as much, could be thrown. I’d suggest this may have cleared up the problem.

“Want you too…what is it…Thursday? No, I want…”

Anyway, it was a good enjoyable story and I thank you and Lit that I got to read it for free.

A true to life dissolution to a long term marriage, although I would argue the dalliance with the 18 yr old is a bit of a stretch-not to say it never happens, just gotta be a minority of the time...

That was me regarding that sentence, and I read quite a bit, as well as write some and helping writers far better than me, and if you understood that sentence on first read, congratulations! I think we reached the same understanding (though I think the author had the first "to" correct, not "too!"). My issue is that I had to stop and re-read it a couple of times.

A woman sees a gray hair and immediately beds some 18 year old? Maybe, but extremely unlikely. I get the sense that this story was written with the divorce ending in mind, and then you contrived an excuse for it.

Hi Jim,

I enjoyed the story and your comments at the end are right on. It's been my personal experience that divorce doesn't have to be BTB as we are all human and flawed. Not that I don't enjoy some of that when the betrayer is real nasty. Men cheat for the same reason in not wanted to be old and feeling less desirable. Probably more men cheat than women as the opportunities tend to favor men.

So, thanks for the story regardless of length. Look forward to reading more in the future.

Sincerely,

Santacruzman

Let's face it, just about every conceivable scenario has been written about. Kind of hard to come up with something new. We are left with the presentation and the writers take on the situation, scene, confrontation. It's the authors story to take it where he wants.

Liked this one. Not a five but efficiently presented. What made it a good read, for me anyway, was the confrontation with the counselor. Really like him standing up to the DR. What brought it down a notch was the lack of delving into the wife's psyche. Couldn't understand the couch scene. Then merrily run to bed again. That's the authors take and can appreciate the presentation even though I found it a bit lacking. 4 stars.

were damn funny

he is a fucking retard... and the great thing about it is that SEVERAL other readers pointed out how irrational his comments are before I did.

Enjoyed the whole damn thing from the opening disclaimer to the closing remarks.

All I ever require is that I be entertained for a few minutes. Job well done. You sir can keep the entire fee I paid for reading your tale. Wink Wink.

Where did you see that he stopped seducing her? She rebuffed HIS advances.

I like your story. Keep writing. I love your comments too there were right on target.

Usually long before any gray hairs arrive, though. Otherwise, it doesn't happen at all.

Thanks,

MGM

worth every one of the 5*s.

Always nice heading back to Louisiana with this author... 5*****

What a way to ruin a marriage. I like the streaks of color in brown hair. 4* Please keep writing . Thanks again

Simply great! Thanks JimBob44 for another terrific LW story.

As another poster said, I like a few grey hairs amongst the brown, but most of all I like a bush where it belongs, cause you can't see any grey when it is bare!!

Jimbob44 didn't discover new way to split literary atomic this story. He just observed and reported the repercussions of the tawdry trysts. When you have an eye for irreverence amidst the permanent and irreversible damage post irresistible impulse, that hella -works for me.

Full marks * * * * *

Good story and I see from most comments I skimmed that many think so too. No problem about too many characters, too short, etc. like you mentioned at the beginning. I've read several of your stories in the LW category and liked them all. No word mistakes I could see.

5 *'s and FS status

....I'm puzzled about why the scrawny neighbor kid with the little dick who skips school all the time was in any way appealing to a woman like Penny. A few strands of gray just doesn't cut it, IMHO, but it does lead neatly to the last line!

A 5* effort from here, thanks!

Penny.

Nice variation on the standard theme. Not Vanity, Not the mid-life threatened man.

My first wife was named Penny. Brings back memories of her decision to suck some guy's cock. Sent her home to her mama.

There was a guy named Joe where I worked. He was in his forties and married to a forties woman. Well his wife started fucking their son's 18 year old male friend who lived next door. Joe kicked her out of the house and divorced her ass. She didn't get the house because their kids were over 18 years old! The kids didn't want anything to do with her. We never heard what happened to her. She is probably working the streets as a whore! Joe's comment was only good riddens.

A very realistic tale. That age of grey hairs for women & bulging bellys/balding heads for men seems to invite stupidity in many of us. I really enjoyed this, partially, because it mirrored my brother's first marriage & his recovery due to the love & patience of a truly beautiful younger woman. They now have 3 lovely children & have been married for 21 years. For myself, I also married a Penny (never Penelope), worst 5 years of my life. 9 months married & she informs me she never wanted children, then spent the last 2 years fucking her co workers before I got enough proof to get rid of her. Still things got so much better after that. Thanks for the story, it certainly struck a chord for me. 4 ****

I could not help but notice that the wife did not have all that much patience when dealing with the aftermath of her adultery. I guess she expected him to come around more quickly. I'm sure this is very true to form for too many divorces.

A realistic but depressing story. I'm glad William didn't take any shit from his slut wife or the bitch of a counsellor.

I was surprised that Penny got the house until Jennica turned 21 (why not 18?). Also, I would have expected some serious anger from the kids towards Penny, after all they knew exactly why the divorce occurred and who was to blame. I just can't see them wanting to live with her when she fucked an 18 year old and destroyed their family... especially when she was taking out her anger and frustration on the two children.

The 2 gray hairs made me shave my pussy and fuck the boy next door.

That guy smiled at me, so I owed him a blowjob.

I was drunk.

You left the toilet seat up, so I fucked your best friend.

I got a flat tire, so I tipped the AAA guy.

The kids left home, I'm lonely.

You work too much.

You don't work enough.

You're never home, I'm lonely.

You're always home, I'm suffocated.

Those 5 repairmen were finished work early.

Always, always some lame excuse, some feeble rationalization. Anyone's fault. Everyone's fault. Anyone but her's....

... who would have been 42 or 43 then, had me go through her hair with tweezers and pull out all the white hairs. Then by the time I was 10 or so I noticed my mother was coloring her hair (though she probably started earlier; that’s just when I noticed). She didn’t stop coloring her hair until in her 70’s. Women and their vanity. Go figure.

4-stars

In your story “Righting a Wrong”, Penny Richards has a young son. Penny marries her son’s baseball coach: Russel Jones. Penny was a lawyer who worked for Donald P. Who the hell is this Penny Richards?

Well this was tough to read, i am guessing that the grey hairs she found left her feeling insecure. So like any reasonable female she finds the first person to seduce to solve that nasty grey hair. As the grey continues so does the infidelity, it's not her fault. The law and counseling are slanted in the females favour. So on a fantasy site what's wrong with a bit of Justice, we know it not going to happen in the real world.

Way too close to deal life for.me.

I usually give up well before the end.

@6/01/19 Anon. Obviously Penny is Pauline French's cajun cousin. 😉

I find it absurd that some readers object to your superb use of Cajun dialect. I think it says a great deal about the personalities and social environment of your characters. Bring it on!

Bullet375

.

I doubt it's often an 18 year old boy, but I do know it sometimes is. I've never understood this whole fixation on youth. My attitude has been "At last I am a man!" I guess it can be different for a woman, but it seems rather shallow to me. But the story comes very close to the truth. Good job!

Penny was the winner, who'd want to spend the rest of their life with an awful man like that, I know what she did made her a cheating whore and deserved nothing, but I still think she won

Of the young man next door can make you mean.

Sgain. Another cheating wife found out that you can't put the genie back in the bottle. There is no excuse for cheating.

Insecure women need to constantly test their sexual market value in order to ascertain their self worth. Going to a hair salon and getting her hair professionally dyed would have been less costly in the long run than screwing the horny teenager next just do she could feel better about herself.

I do understand that husband! What adolescent foolishness on the part of the wife. It happens more often than I like to think, whether it's a kid next door or a coworker or a family friend. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

Sad story really.

The amount of crazy shit I've seen people do, both men and women, just because of a few gray hairs. What ever happened to growing old gracefully, like my parents did? Vanity is an awful thing.

Can she say dumb bitch

Very real story that happens more than we'd like to admit. While you make it pretty clear what caused her abhorrent behavior, I would have liked to see her go to counseling for a deeper insight into herself. You spoil me with your longer stories and I would have liked this one to extend out a bit more as well. Still a solid 4*

Just one comment based on some superficial research. Counseling is rarely used in cases where one spouse is determined to divorce. And if it is required because one spouse requests it, the other spouse must attend but cannot be compelled to cooperate.

Generally, marriage counselors do not want to take cases where one spouse is not willing to cooperate because failure to reconcile may reflect on their competence.

It is more commonly used to divide assets or negotiate visitation or other family issues.

I realize this is fiction but the biased counselor cliche' is more than a bit overdone in LW storylines.

Always read your stories. Even though they smack too much of reality, they are compelling and effect my mood.

@Anonymous Re: "Counseling" - Thankfully, I have no direct knowledge, but I wonder if this is an invention by LW writers, like suing the employer "for not enforcing their morals clause." I would think that courts have more important things to worry about. Wasn't the whole point of no-fault divorce to eliminate all the drama?

this would be why I would just leave. I'd send money for my kids but fuck it. She cheats and gets half of my retirement and use of the house till the kid is 21(really the law says 18). Fuck divorce, just walk away.

Women run most relationships and have the exact love life they want. But almost exclusively the husband is blamed for the failing relationship when a women decides to cheat because they're bored or feeling insecure about themselves or a 101 others excuses from the Cheater's handbook. The reality is that people cheat because they feel entitled to cheat.

In your story “Righting a Wrong”, there is a Penny Richards who is younger than this story’s Penny Richards and she marries Russell Jones. Her ex-husband was Darryl Richards, Penny was a lawyer who worked for the black lawyer Donald Pellichet’s firm. Why do you have a different Penny Richards in a small town?

Court-ordered counseling is a thing, but it's not super common. It's rare in most cases, but there are situations where it happens. For example, a Kansas divorce for irretrievable breakdown requires it. Florida judges can order it in certain circumstances. Outside of these, usually one of the parties has to petition the court for it, and the judge doesn't have to grant the request. Even if it would otherwise be required, an abuse victim is usually exempted.

hm, interesting enough. pretty disappointed that harris never got the beat-down he deserved.

She didn’t really even attempt to explain or act like she was truly that sorry. Seemed more like she was losing her walking bank account.

Not BTB, but he did have principles and stuck to them...

Men cannot hit women. But they can hire a woman to beat her ass. 😁🤣😅😂🖕😜🤪

TRASH STORY NOT EVEN WORTH 1 STAR

Not a bad story but, I didn't read where the neighbor boy Harris(?) got his ass spanked. He is in serious need of it. LP

⭐⭐ 👎🏿 Badly written, poorly paced and nebulous in concept.

BUT, the worst part is the BLATANT RACISM!

Penny saw an African-American man watching her. He was not embarrassed at being caught ogling her. The man gave her a smile before continuing to amble into the grocery store.

"Pull your pants up, you idiot,"

This has no bearing on the the story at all. It's just a slam at Black Men, for no reason.

A sad story about two people who should have remained together - seducing the neighbour's boy wasn't going to stop her hair turning grey. Thank you for posting it.

So, Penny was a stay at home mom for twenty two years. I willing to bet that it was Penny's idea to be a stay at home mom and William was just expected to go along with it. Considering that the individual retirement account (IRA) created in 1974 has been around for nearly half a century it would behoove husbands of stay at home mom's to open IRA accounts for their wives and contribute to them the maximum allowed by law to lesson any hits against their retirement accounts in lieu of divorce. Since 50% percent of all marriages end in divorce and that 80% of all divorces are filed by women you better make sure you funded IRA accounts for those stay at home mom's or you'll be working a lot longer than you wanted to just to support a wife who decides to divorce your ass late in life.

First, who the hell is “Trevor Williams”? The husband’s name is William Richards. Simply admitting in the initial disclosures that you need an editor does not forgive such amateurish errors.

Second, the author’s disdain for counseling and near-total lack of any understanding of how a good therapist works is glaringly apparent. Not that counseling could have saved this marriage between a woman who cheated with no qualms and no self-awareness and a man who is a rigid, self-righteous prig. The author does do a good job of presenting both of these immature characters, like them or not. And the author is correct that most marriages that die do so quietly - and sadly.

I like this story! In the end, nobody really wins. That's about as close to the truth as it gets.

Another tale about the female logic and I liked it. 5

I liked how you did this, hard from start to finish, I know men like him, worked with them.

Did you give permission for this story to be duplicated on any of the YouTube cheaters channels? I’ve seen it on at least one - don’t remember which - duplicated word for word.

Got dang. That last line got me.

loved it

carolynne

Not your usual talented story. Just a sad story of an insecure women who ruined four people's lives. You left us with no joy, no upsides, and no interest in reading more. 2*