All Comments on 'Strawberries & Bubblegum'

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It doesn't seem to matter that you're a guy - this was just fantastic! Well done, (from a girl with a <i>very</i> wet pussy)!

Seriously? Ok, very impressive, I won't generalize about the ability of guys to write g-on-g erotica again! This was sweet without being sugary, credible, & fun. Thanks! :)

Thanks for the kind words folks. Yes, I'm a guy and yes I wrote it. I just sorta dug extra deep for my inner girl. The change was a challenge. I'm mostly happy with it (for my first crack at it) but if gals want to point out flaws (or, put more kindly, make suggestions to improve) my attempt at switching gender perspective, I'm glad to hear them. Do it public though because my darn private feedback is still down. Anyhoo, Cheers!

for those new readers who seem pleasantly surprised to find that a bloke wrote this I can only say that the rest of his work is pretty damn good as well. -- UK CYNIC

Probably sick of the a guy wrote this, but damn. This is awesome, realistic, and *cute*. (only word I could think of)

It's so sweet - it's so perfect, it's everything you set out to do, and it hits all the right buttons and makes all the most delicious sounds and smells.

Now, I've always been horrible at constructive criticism, so please forgive me for lacking any. Not that I could find anything wrong with your story, that is :) VERY nicely done. This'll be one of the ones that I come back to over and over again.

A few quetions. Did they win their next game? Is Lauren just a bit curiuos?

2nd in my top 5, wonderful story i just wish u didn't end it with saving berry (i won't say why for spoilers)

For tha anony below and others who feel the same way - yes, "Strawberries and Bubblegum" took a vicious but necessary twist at "Saving Berry." By way of atonement, I wrote "Peaches and Honey" to describe in detail how deeply Heather (aka Bubblegum, aka Peaches) falls in love with a woman again. It fits into the context of my "Hero's Life" series. If you're also worried about Stacey (aka Berry), read "Bobbie's Lesson" to see that she winds up on the road to something happier too.

Hi there! Don't know if you still read these feedbacks.

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So overall I loved your story with a few minor points I'd like to mention. For some reason the introduction had me think the author of this story was a woman (I only found out you're a man in the comments). There was just one thing where I became suspicious: It's all the boob talk, and about how big they are etc. Personally I think that's something typically male to write, from a perspective of a female I don't think boobs or the size thereof are a huge matter. (Personally I don't care about the size at all! I don't mind about flat-chested girls. Don't know whether my gender matters, let's just say I'm into girls.) Now both the girls in your story have size D cups. How often do you see size D cup boobs?? I rarely ever. XD So the one girl is obsessed over the other's hair, the other is with the other's boobs. What if you just changed that to both girls obsessing over each other's hair? Or giving the one girl B cup boobs and the other still loving them? Aah I donno. I haven't yet published a story here so maybe I've no right to talk and you mightn't give a shit. XD

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Last thing; how the one girl smells of strawberries and the other of bubblegum may be a nice idea to have in the story, "unrealistic" or not, because it's sort of romantic... but when it gets to the point that even the pants have that smell, personally I just find it slightly ridiculous. XD

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Hope I helped... all the best ~

Can't argue with your take aways. There are some unrealistic points to S&B. Many of those were intentional because it's an idealized, sweet, perhaps slightly immature, teenybopper romance. Admittedly, some of the flaws were me working out the kinks of a teenage girl's voice. For something that feels realer/grittier I beg you to read my follow-on story "Peaches and Honey." I tried to make it more mature because it's "Bubblegum" when she's older/more experienced. Also, if you haven't read her yet, I suggest you look up RedEmerald for a couple of knock-your-socks-off G-G stories. She's got the G-G gift but, well, she also has a bit of a headstart on me what with being a girl and all.

I really enjoyed this story. The dialogue was witty and the girls were adorable:-) Thanks for the really good read!

Yep.

I liked this story its really cute and sweet. The fact that your a man doesnt change how well you write. I enjoy how much you get into the girl state of mind. also the fact that the girls have big chest is not a bad thing at all and im a women saying this.

Was hooked from start to finish, loved their pet names and how skilfully it was written - Gonna go check out the rest of your stories!!! Job well done

This story was sweet and addicting, and not to mention very well-written and almost poetic at times. By far the best story I've encountered on this site. Well done. :)

All excellent: pacing, dialogue, humor, sensitivity, caring, and fantastic sex. And sex education to boot: my wife will soon be the beneficiary of that beautiful "bu-bump lick/tap/wriggle" technique. Very intimate connection of the heart and the "goodies." Thank you!

This is a wonderful story and I can feel it's based on truth your friend had a lucky teenage love. Simply beautiful now I wish I were a girl sounds like fun.

that was just great. JUST Great very happy and kind of melancholic and probably unable to sleep now, thanks I think :)

All around great story !!! Thanks !!!

im a straight guy but i was realy touched by this story i didnt masterbate at all and i feel wonderful it was so insightful i loved it its great to hear there is still real love out there somewhere. :) best story iv ever read.

All I can say is that last scene was fucking hot.

I love this story. It's really sad to me that you broke the relationship off. You should've kept it going. I understand its hard to make new plots but it really was sad for me. It's not too late though. Make another story where they meet and get together again. I'd be so happy if you did. Amazing story by the way. Thanks if you took the time to read this. Keep writing!

You are officially my favorite writer ever! You take your time and the build-up throughout the story is intense and beautiful. I'm in the switching over phase where I'm slowly falling deeper for women...while forgetting completely about men, and this just probably took me all the way.

The way you write doesn't just make it a quick release. It's beautiful. It doesn't matter whether it's erotic or not. I would read anything you wrote! I've read some of your other stuff and it's the same with them too.

You're truly amazing. Keep writing and hope you publish something. If you do, make sure to announce it to the whole site, as I'm sure we'll all want a copy! :P

The overall story line is unbelivably good. The characters seem to come alive. The "plot" moves well with a lot of fine details and suspense as well.

If the author is female - Bravisimo.....

If the author is male - Bravo !

All in all another great piece of work by "THIS" author-

Thank you. And More please. 5 - 2012.

This is one amazing and sweet story. I absolutely loved it. Thank you so much for writing this gem.

Before I read this story, I'd never read one that captivated me as much as a story called Words On Skin. I can't say I was amazingly surprised to see that this was written by the same author (also the author of Stolen Kisses, another of my favorites). Bravo. Simply perfect.

Best Part:

Lauren giggled. "The cat is out of the bag. It left your house. It walked down the street. It rang my doorbell and when I answered the door it looked me right in the eye and said 'Those two are total lesbians.' ", I could not stop laughing at this.. But it was a very nice story I gave it a 5, because I could not give a 4 1/2, and it does not deserve a 4

I love this one!! I am not lesbian but this story leaves my wanting a girl licking me up!! My undies are soaked!!

As a very mature hetero male I was blown away by your descriptions of the girls.

5*, wish it could be more.

Your descriptions make me feel like I'm in the story, you have a fantastic way of describing events very eloquently. If I can write only half as good as you, I would be pleased.

I favorited you as an author, and IF I ever finish any of my stories, maybe you'll read one.

I completely loved it: so tender and beautifully written. Thank you.

I love love love this story I've read it twice now and have read all the others too fantastic story line fantastic writer more please

A really good little story. A couple of lines made me laugh out loud (weird? asking a strange lesbian how to lick pussy? what's so weird about that?) and that's unusual in one of these tales, no matter how good they are. So thanks for that, Paco.

A very fun read. I liked the running "good to know for later / how much later? / not much later at all, I think" gag. I thoroughly enjoyed the sense of discovery and exploration that you gave to these two characters. Thank you for sharing your efforts with us.

I really enjoyed it..hoping for more

That was one of the most beautiful love stories I have ever read! You are an incredible writer. Only two authors here regularly get 5* from me...one is you.

(If you're curious, the other is The Technician.)

John

You're so baaaaaaad.... yeahhhhhuhhhmmmm just like that....

Xox.

You took everything wonderful about secret teenage girlfriends and served it up on a silver platter. Having first-hand experience in a (now comparatively boring) similar relationship I have to say it felt really authentic and made me nostalgic.

I can't thank you enough for this story, it really rang true and touched me emotionally.

Ur 2 wicked, X6 2nite!

Absolutely incredible piece, well worth it's high mark, heck, maybe even worth higher! As much as I'd love a sequel, I understand that the feel wouldn't be the same, but it'd still be nice-an'-all... >pout<

Sweet Jesus, that was awesome!

Loved it so much!!!!!!!!!!! Pls write more: )

amazing to find consecutive super erotic stories. Can this continue? Will soon find out.......

About what "Distantdrums" wrote: WORD!!!

This story made my day. Absolutely amazing.

Truely a 5* story. More.

I felt like you were right here telling me this story. I even laughed out loud several times. Super feel good story. 🖒😉

I totally loved this one, thank you for sharing it with us!

So well done! Deliciously yummy! I hope one day it will continue! Thank you!

... I read this, but voted 5 Stars nonetheless. It was well earned.

It was the second story of yours, Paco, that I read, being listed right above Words on Skin and also being worthy coming back to for another read.

You have a wonderful way with words, drawing the reader right into the stories you write.

Thank you for doing so.

Now I want to be a hot lesbian! Damn gender and aesthetics barriers!

Really well written piece with some good nice characters. I think it could have been a much larger story than the build up to their first time but it is what it is and it doesn't lose any quality in being a solo piece.

That says it all. :-)

I gave this, as with all your stories, 5 stars. With reluctance. I'm more of a DreamCloud guy for story, or a Xarth guy for banter. For my tastes, your writing has waaay too much descriptive sex. It stalls the story. That said, your imagery in the sexual encounters is so fucking perfect that I can't help but read everything you post. Bravo for dragging me through again and again!

I first read this a few years ago and the whole thing pops up in my head every once in a while. This was the second time I read it and I actually got sad because I know how they end up in the very end, because I've read Hero and Saving Berry and Bobbies Lesson. As much as I enjoyed those too, I still wanted these two together. But you're an awesome writer and know how to draw your reader in to care enough about the characters to make them want what you eventually give them. Well done.

In the intro of another story you wrote that a bunch of people asked for more of Berry.

The character in this story that left me curious was Lauren. Maybe the answer is already in one of your other stories.

This metaphorical description of a female orgasm is hilarious.

"It was like I turned a street corner and got spackled by a mack truck. It was huge and sudden and it made me instantly squishy."

My mental reaction:

Sentence 1: "uh huh"

Sentence 2: "WHAT"

OMG, the conversations between them are incredible!!! The scene with Lauren in the room the next morning and her reaction is priceless!!! I love your work and have been reading the Hero-related stuff non-stop for days now!!! Thanks for sharing!

Excellent! Loved the dialogue. Started following you when I read Words on Skin. Consistently one of my fav authors.

THAT was a delicious story. Thank you!

Warm, warm, warmer, HOT ...! And fun.

Sweet and hot...like cinnamon candy. Best lesbian story I've ever read. Thanks!

Love it. Amazing series and characters.

Excellent on the re-read.