All Comments on 'Submission Ch. 10'

WOW!

Goldeniangel I enjoyed your work throughout this series I like the character development and the way you structure the relationship between David & Alanna. However there are mistakes in here that I would not expect from a seasoned author such as yourself. The mistakes; such as using the word taught instead of taunt; detract greatly from a beautiful piece of fiction.

If you would like an editor I would like to help you. You can find my information under my profile. Thank you for your time.

Koollava

I love the sentimentality of this story. He just finds her endearing from the very beginning. Its a very pleasant story. Maybe add a little more daring? I have grown attached to the characters as I do with all the characters in ALL your stories. Maybe you could take this one up a notch though? I am not patient and am not into teasing and feathers and crap. But in stories, it just adds to building sensuality. Good job and looking forward to more of your work!

Nysh series just loving it.. wanting more

I am enjoying the character development very much. I can feel the elation, compassion, dominance, and joyful submission. Nicely done.