All Comments on 'Submitting To Daddy'

Next time head to Subway. Deep throat one of their awesome footlongs. You will have a full belly and it is more healthy for you. Just ask Jared

That read like stereo instructions. You didn't do anything to tell people who your characters were, or why they were getting down. So, instead of being hot... it came across as... Person 1 inserted their anatomy into Person 2 using slot B. It didn't feel like a story. It just felt like you said a bunch of dirty things out of the blue.

"Once upon a time... I got fucked! It was with a penis! I liked it!"

(Grins) Sorry, but that's how it came off.