All Comments on 'Summer in Dawson Ch. 01'

Very nice beginning.

good pacing, good writing (not sure what a roamer is), and some real characterization. Looking forward to the next installment.

Really enjoyed this. Looking forward to more.

Really liked the start, 5* but you may want to consider an editor. Rumor not roamer, for example. This type erroe really turns some people off and they will let you know with a low rating.

You're off to a great start. If I could suggest anything, I would encourage you to be mindful of the use of the word 'then' when you mean 'than.' I noticed roamer/rumor had already been mentioned by other readers.

nice story, hope it turns into a series, but a grammar check for several errors would be great.

Interesting beginning and you continued to keep the story interesting. I hope there is going to be more to come - Thanks for sharing!

RecHiker

I totally loved your story. I really got caught up in it. I was even smiling at what Charlie was saying and doing. I soooo wish I would have been there, hope there will be a part two to your story...

...otherwise a great story.

Reads like the city to me.

Except for buckin hay, fucking Charlotte will more than make up for that little inconvenience.

So up at 10 swimming around 3 ish, wins at cards, fucks over the QB with a steak knife, and his posse is scared of Jason. So far so good. Then gets an A+ on his cunnaliquist test provides her with multiple "Orgasims". And gets swallowed while he fills her mouth with man gravy, rebounds hard off the ledge and scores a home run.

FUCK DUDE, in what universed do you just think it will be a good summer !!!

OH ya I almost forgot she has a sister. Shwing.

Loved the story. Hope there is a part two soon.

Reminds me of a town I grew up in. Can't wait for ch2!

Continue with this story i like it alot and think this could possible make it into literoticas hall of fame.

you could make this into a movie!

While the descriptions were fantastic and you really are great at the show don't tell, I think you need to improve your pacing and relationship development. Charlie and Jason relationship was basically sudden stops broken by even more sudden big jumps. No natural progression. Finally, you really should focus on writing how the characters are feeling, their emotions and sensations, during the sex scenes. Just a dry description makes it all so mechanical, no matter how good is the description.

Great story, will there be a chapter 2?

Fantastic story! Need more Chapters!