All Comments on 'Summer Sabbatical'

Except WAY TOO LONG

Just very long

I love the longer stories, they give much more insight into the characters. Are they really based on real people who corresponded with you?

I attended ODU and envy their situation at the beach. I fell in love with Tim and his aunt, but Gina sounds exactly like me. I'd visit them regularly. I bet Ava would share him, but I'd really want her to join us.

This was a great love story and although it was long, it really allowed you to fully know each person in the story. I felt the ending was rushed after the long build up. I was beginning to think your twist at the end would be that his Mom took his cherry. After their love was consummated I would have liked to read more about how it deepened over time together. Do they marry and have kids of their own?

The length was perfect, the characters were well rounded as the story built. By the end i felt I knew them personally . Bravo

Sorry that some believe that it is to long, but with its twists and turns it was perfect.

Thanks again again for an excellent story.

Good luck with the competition.

I don't think I have read anything this good on this site, and I've been reading stories here for over 10 years. Bravo! Most Excellent! In answer to the complaints, yes it is long, but better than having several chapters spread over days or weeks. I thank you, and look forward to your next story.

This story is rather engaging, but I haven't been so cock teased since Ophelia got told to join the nunnery. I don't see Candy or Gina being nearly as forward and open with Tim as the story presents. And as aggressive as Sybil is, Tim might have decided to spend his summer elsewhere are the pressure to get involved with several women who aren't taking the time to let him get to know them would cause him to question their motives. He'd become more hesitant rather than more confident, and would be questioning everything. These social complications which don't strike me as realistic are why this story only got four stars.

I find how quickly people engage in sex is as subjective as speed in a car. Anyone going faster than you is crazy and anyone slower is a slowpoke. As for Shakespeare "Get thee to a nunnery" is a double entendre, like this story has in abundance.

I loved the story, reminds me of my nephew.

-BS

Excellent, I would have liked to have known what happened to Gina.

This was the most heartwarming yet sensuous love story I have ever read! My heart and feelings were entwined in both Ava and Tim throughout the entire story. My emotions were so wrapped up in them and identifying on a personal level what they were going as it was happening in my own in a similar way! I share their deep love feeling for each other as if it were my own! Thank You for such an incredibly passionate Love Story!

Probably the best story I have read on here, amazing, well done!

Did his mom cheat with Ava deceased husband. Few things made me think he's her husband's son.

It was a great read. I have pretty much liked all your work. With this one showing both perspectives worked. The only thing I could possibly criticize, would be him succumbing to temptation, when he's supposed to be in love. Other than that, it is great. Also, on another note, What happened to page. Did u hit a block or are u going to finish that series. That was the series, for me, that brought me to your writing, back when u started it.

I kept this open on my computer when I went to work, then went to sleep at night as I didn't want to forget where I'd stopped, and for fear I wouldn't find the story again. What a wonderful story! The way it built, settled then built again was much like an erotic night of blistering hot sweaty sex. Love mixed with raw and animalistic passion. The ebb and flow was mixed superbly! ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC! I was sorry that as all good things had to come to an end!

BRAVO!

We may eventually write about April, Don and Jon or even Don and his sisters. April is significantly older than her sister Ava. Don and Jon are between them. When Don asks Jon if he'll help them get pregnant, Ava isn't old enough to date Jon yet. She's 12 days short of being 12 years older than Tim. So, no cheating occurred. Jon was going to be a military bachelor, but April set them up after Ava graduated high school.

As for other stories, we show the Works in progress (order of activity) on our profile. We're working on the continuation interlinked stories, Page and some other stories.

Hello again, Don’t listen to the hater. It a wonderful story from start to finish. Each character was engaging and seen thoroughly thought outthought. Can’t wait for part two of unwittingly discovery and others. Still my favorite authors. Thanks, Rick W

This was a really great story with likeable characters. I really enjoyed it and all of your hard work really paid off.

The only thing that bothered me is that he was in love with his aunt, but in the space of a few days messes around with three other women. I mean, I get that he was making an honest effort at honoring her request, but it just seemed unlike what I would think someone truly in love would do. But, hey, it's supposed to be an erotic story and it succeeds in that respect.

I do have a humble request, however. In the future, can you please consider breaking a story of this length into two or three parts? There isn't a way on this site to bookmark your spot to come back to and it was a chore to keep track of where I was for 19 LE pages of material over the course of a couple of days. (This in absolutely no way affect my score or opinion of the story, however.)

The ending, with the reveal of Mom's approval, Dad and his relatives, Jon as father -- too much, too quick, too much of a deus ex machina turn.

Would also benefit from a copy editor and, perhaps, a story editor. The switch back and forth is useful only for information not already obvious in the scene. Some of yours conveyed new info, new nuance -- others seemed repetitive and mechanical.

Absolutely loved it. I hope it wins the contest. Well thought out story that had me hooked from the beginning. I can’t believe others criticizing a word here or there. I didn’t notice in the overall flow of the tale It should always be about love. Thank you

We just make note of them as they come in via contacts, comments or PM. We regularly release edited/revised/corrected versions of our stories.

All of these errors are on us an in no way should be directed at our editors. They found a ton of issues. We're both dyslexic and appreciate the corrections however they come. If you're interested in being an editor, drop us a PM.

-MM

Enjoyed the plot line, a little long though. Appreciated the changing perspective, but again, too much. The ending strained belief. Overall I enjoyed it.

I rarely get into uncle-aunt-cousin stories, maybe because I don't consider it incest to any real degree (unless it's practised for so many generations that it results in cyclopes and bottomed out IQ). I do, however, acknowledge the unfair advantage of experience held up against smitten youth. That aspect you managed to keep very real (and responsibly approached) indeed. Well crafted tale - thank you.

I typically wouldn't sit through a story this lengthy. I actually didn't realize the length until the bottom of the first page....BUT I was so gripped by that time that I could stop. Excellent story, characters, visualization....the WORKS. Thank you. Off to wank now.

Like said above, this is so captivating!

Thank You

An Epic story

R

Took me four sittings to finish the story but it was well worth the time. You two just keep getting better!

It took a while to get through it... I didn't check the length before I started, but I tend to like longer stories with character development anyway.

This was a very fun read, and I thank you for sharing it with me!

great read. makes me want more. lots of good story left. your a. ery talentex writer. yku write and i guarantee i will read it. mike

You out done yourself! Such a wonderful read. Five Stars for it.

This was a great (not so) little story with some real heart. I really enjoyed it and appreciate the length for character and relationship development. I still think you tend to wrap up your characters relationship bumps far too quickly although it doesn't negatively impact the story unduly. Gina, Sybil and Candy were all packed off and forgotten about when not needed anymore and the revelation about Tim's parentage was glossed over a little too quickly for my liking. Realistically linking Jon as Tim's biological father could have been left out entirely if nothing was going to be done with it, it could even have been used (along with other interactions) in a sequel if you so desired but seemed a little redundant just laying it out at the end of the story. Still a great read and a nice love story, as always from you two.

Excellent from beginning to end

One of the best stories I’ve ever read on the site. Absolutely superb!

Thanks so much for this story. I enjoyed every line from the beginning.

Well written, I enjoyed the way the story built up with addition of the additional characters. The surprise in the ending have the story an extra twist.

Great read!!!!!!janDLw

Thank you MindsMirror

This is the first book I checked out of your library. I have marked you as a favorite and will be in your reading room often.

Gh

a shame it had to end so soon.

I wish you'd finish your other bloody stories it's been driving me nuts

I enjoyed this story immensely and I'd love to see an epilogue!

This is the best story I have read on this site.

Cuoldnt stop reading

A brilliant work mixing a good level of emotions and physical feelings, very life-like. I rate this the best I've read on lit.🌋

Now add in a section where the dickhead brother gets some sense kicked into him by Tim! 🚑

An English teacher once remarked to me that any story or essay must be the length of a piece of string: just the length required to get the job done. I think you come very close. The character development was excellent and really made the story stand out, especially the comparative perspectives of the two main characters. That was an interesting, if risky, move; but I think you carried it off. I noted that you managed temporal context by repeating some aspects of a scene as perspective changed between characters signifying a view of the same scene at times; at other times no such overlap when the scenes were sequential. Well executed.

I very much enjoyed the story, but felt the ending a bit rushed. For example, you did not directly address a major concern each character had, that of preserving the relationship through Tim’s school year (although by deduction it weathered well enough to consider marriage in Australia). How did they overcome the effects of time and distance as the separation approached and as they endured it? How did they maintain their new relationship once separated when so many others fail? Still, 5 stars.

Are you authors yet? I cannot resist an observation, but must humbly admit my poor qualification to ultimately judge. An author is defined to be someone associated with the production of “literary work” which seems to be a near synonym for book-length works. And yet, one of my favorite authors is widely held to be “an author” even though his work is nearly all short stories: William Sydney Porter, also known as “O. Henry”. So, I put the question back to you: are you authors?

Thank you for your work; I look forward to reading more of it.

—RL

This is one of the best on this site, could not put it down. Keep it up!!!!

Loved the story, by far my favorite that i have read so far!!!!

"You think he'll go for that?" Dad's deep voice asked and my ears perked up as I continued down the hall certain he was talking about me.

****

And it doesn't get any easier to read.

Great story. This is the second time I've read it and enjoyed it as much as the first time.

yes yes yes shit yes ive read alot of stories but this is now my new favorite

I really enjoyed your coming-of-age story. The characters were will drawn out and the plot was interesting. Bravo.

I loved it, from start to finish. Some readers are put off by lengthy stories, not me. I'm a long time Tom Clancy fan, whose novels are epic.

One of the best stories I've read in a long time. You did a great job building the suspense and pressure between the characters. Keep up the good work.

You have a flair for writing, but this story was a little long. Not sure you needed to introduce Candy and the other girl into it. Plus, the angst was a little over the top.

But I will say that your treatment of Tim losing his virginity was excellently done.

That was epic and VERY well done. It was long but I was captivated from the start and enjoyed it completely. I like the back story and slow build up, I thought that Kitty was going to ask for a demonstration of his talented tongue as well. I look forward to many more of your stories.

The lead in was an epic struggle between right and wrong. there needs were finally met. The finish was an epic climax. Please don't end here, take them to the wedding and possibly, with Tim taking his mother.

I thought this story was really nice - there is something in it which reminds me of my youthful romances and the angst and uncertainty that came with it. Thanks!

This is easily the best story that I have read in my whole lifetime on this site and I congratulate the writer on this.

I usually find stories written in this style with the constantly switching character viewpoints annoying, but you guys did agreat job with it. I recently discovered your work with Quixotic Reapproachment, great job there as well. Iwill be working my way through the rest of your stories.

I find it hard to read many stories of this length. This one kept my interest and i thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done my friend.

this was a real tear jerker...made me miss my first love.....thank you

I pressed 5 stars but it didn’t come up. It was long but it never lost my attention . Very enjoyable

Chapter 20 reveals that Tim is a raving out-of-his-cage gay, aunt Eva is a lesbian dungeon witch and the rest of the cast are all transgender. Well why not? This sort of twaddle just drones on looking for storylines.

Another great story from you - loved every bit of it.

Please keep up the great work - I've read just about all of your stories and found them all to be very well written. Just the occasional typo / grammar error - certainly not enough of a problem to put me off....

Long story but worth it. I really liked how it took a while to get to every encounter. It made it seem more real as appears to just jumping right in with the sex. Look forward to reading more of your work.

That was a page turner. I haven't got up from bed after I got to the first page ending. Loved it

Who could not enjoy this story. Loved every word and written so well. Many thanks

Got bored on page 4.

One kid stated he was bored. That comes with a lack of maturity. I guess that if the story doesn't contain graphic sex every third word, it may exceed his vocabulary.

I don't ever remember reading a story or book classified as romance previously. However, reading the first few pages piqued my interest. Switching back and forth throughout the story kept both the male and female perspective alive.

Would liked to have known more about Gina and if she had gotten herself free from her brother.

It started so well but then degenerated into a never ending tale that stretches the readers incredulity. The boy at the core of it all is either a retard or just plain dumb. And what, tell us, is so interesting about the baking skills of one of the female cast....who really cares which one.... it was just a 2000 word distraction. The boy allows himself to be manipulated and used to an unbelievable extent by a succession of cock happy women of indeterminate ages. They lead him to the brink and then back away, scheme together and tease him and dumb nuts accepts it as the way things are. By page 5 he should have grown a pair of balls and fucked the shit out of all of them.

I give 3 stars for effort, but maybe that is too much.

The candy and gina part kept the story alive till the end

I liked this story very much and though some others have complained about the incredulity of Gina and Candy and Sibyl, the reality is almost every story on this page had elements that are a stretch. What I liked was the foreplay that began between Ava and Tim that lasted for weeks, culminating in a great coital scene. Good job.

I am a middle aged male in my 40's and I seldom read stories of this nature. I started reading this story at bedtime Sunday night figuring, after an hour of reading, it would help me to sleep well in preparation for another big Monday workday. I laughed, I cried tears of sadness, then later I cried tears of joy and then I noticed the sunlight ripping through my blinds sounding the alarm that work would soon be in need of my presence.

All I can say is I thank for depriving me of sleep, over valued, and if six stars were possible; I would gladly whip some other guy's ass so you might receive them.

I Absofrigginlutely loved this story from beginning to the end.

I was afraid it would degenerate into just a massive fuck fest with all the women involved but the author walks a fine line competently. Nice emotitional story with a little surprise twist at the end. Well done!

Excellent story! Great pacing. The best story I've read on here!

What a great story ... I loved everything about it .. usually there’s something that disappoints me, but not this time ! Thanks !!

Well-written, great pacing, nice story - full of life without excess fat. The characters were great, the sex scenes were hot, and the climax was worth the wait. However:

There are too many typos and grammatical errors, especially considering one of the narrators is an English teacher.

I hated the ending. Jon being Tim's dad is a meh twist. A better one would be that Tim's mom was adopted. Their parents thought they couldn't have kids, so they adopted. This is why Ava was born so much later - they eventually got lucky. It would also pave the way for them to marry without reprisal. I also thought that his parents coming home with such devastatingly bad news ruined the euphoric mood from Ava and Tim's coupling. A successful business trip and news that Ava and Tim were golden would have been sweet.

A landing strip trumps a bald pussy all day every day!! ;)

Great slow and tantalising build up. Well written to hold the reader in suspense.

Too many stories just go straight into the Fuck scenes.

The pace of this one was just right.

I thought Sybil might have got more of Tim and that staring would be more prominent but clearly Tim only really had eyes for Ava.

Simply "WOW"!!

Great story from start to the end!

It is good like drugs...

Wow what a story, when I first started thinking read it I thought it was going to be long and drawn out, but I was pleasantly surprised at how I could not stop reading, loved it

It was long, but definitely worth it. I'm not sure that I've ever been so pulled into a story quite so much as this one. If you aren't a published author already, I think you should think about trying.

That must be one of your best. A truly epic, gentle, loving story.

I honestly can't think what else to say, except that I'm sorry I've finished it.

I really wish I could give more than 5 Stars. 5 somehow just isn't enough.

You're one great writer !

Rapier

This was probably the best erotic story I have ever read.

The length and build up of the tale is fabulous. I wonder why Cam didn't get a shot at Tim and vice versa but it is about as good as a story can be.

There are a few very good writers on here who really know how to create remarkable fiction. You are in the front rank of that small band. What an amazing story, beautifully paced, properly erotic and culminating in a great climax and a nice twist in the coda.

I think I'm in love with Ava!

This story is long but very worth the time, I enjoyed it immensely!!! Keep it up, your writing is excellent!!!

I enjoyed your story so very much. Masterclass in pacing and putting it together!

So well written and wonderfully sexy! I can only hope that you'll continue this to let us see where they finally go together. Thank you!

I have read many stories here but I can say that yours is the Best I have read. I loved everything about it. Please Please continue writing stories.

...just good. WOW, what a story, until you brought in the other incestuous family members. They were not necessary as a wrap up. Can’t two related people just fall in love, rather than trying to justify it by including antics of other family members?

Captivating, hard to put down.

Well written and thought out. A true romance novel. Real love at its best. Thank you and don’t stop writing. Whether real or imagined you have captured the reader from the fort paragraph.

The build up was great, the ending was a little quick. I agree with the other commenter bringing up the father being into incest as well was too much and unnecessary.

Maybe now that you are done with this story you can finish the Page series, it really deserves to be finished.

I loved it until the end. Why was it necessary to make the father part of an incestuous family. That made my vote go from a 5 to a 4. It would have been better if the ending was a little longer, a bit more information about the following years maybe. Otherwise a long but very good story.

This fictionalized story was based on individuals described in correspondence with us. Struggles with reproduction often open couples communicating. April's brief backstory of Don's aunt gives insight as to how she understood what was happening between Tim and Ava and why she accepted it. Don's involvement with his aunt and older sisters (Tim's non-biological aunts and great aunt), happened long before April and Don were married. Don and April have an honest happy relationship, in which each knows the other's past. April's accepted Don for who he is, including sharing his excitement during role play. The story gave no indication that Don or April will have any sexual involvement with Tim and his aunt (mother's sister).

How did knowing what had occurred in the past with Tim's non-biological father (Don) change how you felt about what Tim and his biological aunt felt toward one another?

I was wondering from near the beginning if Jon was Tim’s father, I don’t think it changes the story other than giving a reason to Tim’s mother’s open acceptance. Overall I loved the story! You two are very gifted and creative writers. I am so excited to read the next installments of your other stories!

really loved the story overall, yet I still have some reservations about some points or paths you went to write this story. I'll give some points which made me scratch my head a little but not so much to hate the story or enjoy it less, just thought (for my mind) it would've completed the story a little more, with that said:

Yes an encounter like this on the first night can stir things up, but not soo much to rapidly develop into this what it became. (also with how good they understood each other and how she missed human affection/his way of being)

Think there could've been a buildup of a couple more days up until a week for that to happen (ocean "sex").

her conflictness and struggling about the feelings were wishy washy in my opinion. I can understand the reservations she had and if she kept it up and he "worked" through them to "conquer" her "more"/in another way he already had in the story.

One little talk in-between and some cooking and then she's suddenly okay with the suggestions of a sex-lab thing? (can't remember the details how they came up with it and the situation around it). Where were all her reservations and that about the sex-lab thing? despite her obvious jealousy and desire for him.

Then she shouldn't have had something like sex-lab education thing and kept her reservations and he should've "worked" through her reservations and conquer her in another way, like I suggested earlier. (maybe during renovations of the bathroom).

I don't know, that just seemed to me a little wishy washy.

Then the Girls Gina, Candy.

First they didn't really got an ending. What I mean by that is the openness of it of some sort you left them.

"Candy and Kitty left and kitty looked back with an odd look on her face"

could've added a paragraph in the end or somewhere about candys behaviour why she was like that. She didn't seemed to be overly enthusiastic about everything, but still love kitty and this and that? Which left a possibility open for a paragraph explaining her and kittys situation, from when they came back from visiting med school. and kitty's look on her face.

Also with Gina,

She just confined in Tim, she voiced her concern about her brother being this and that, she was a little afraid, scared of her brother, had reservations and basically pleaded him to checkup on her (wait even Candy said something like that), when they talked/69 each other that one day in his bedroom.

But he did nothing, after that day in his bedroom she disappeared from the story completely somehow. He drove past her house, why never just a hello of some sorts? just a little checkup not even a full fledged paragraph dedicated to her just a couple sentences, would've helped clear it up.

Oh and before I forget. Maybe an explanation after sex or a while after, why Ava was on the Pool table and said something about Jon. Tim is such a curious person usually, why not ask about this?

The end felt rushed.

With all the characterbuilding and extensive (very good) explaining of everything (not overly just perfectly with good information about everything), using two paragraphs to end such a great story doesn't do its justice.

Could've maybe added some more meat towards how they lived and embraced each other more and love, up until they get married and maybe a pregnancy?

She was at that point just 31 wouldn't be too wrong of a path to write down I guess?

Like : lived together, some routine came in, he studied there with her (with the parents bankrupt) and fully live with her, they have their fun and sex and plan the wedding in Australia or somewhere.

Then a little sequence of they go bride dress shopping and she "accidentally" blurts out she's pregnant, or chooses a dress which is flexible around the stomach with her sister & Sybils questioning looks and finally tells them she's pregnant. (in the story she had a doctors appointment, to maybe take off the pill, or somehow you could've worked it in there)

Then fast a little forward she well into the pregnancy and they fly and maybe move to Australia (like she thought about) and get married and both their yes/yes. END

Like that I think I would've enjoyed it even more than I already have.

Some people are writers and some people are story tellers, you tell a great story! And I thoroughly enjoyed it!

This is a great story. I couldn't stop reading it!