All Comments on 'Summertime Sadness'

Possibly the first time I've ever appreciated a story told in second person. Marvelous job. GT

Second person? I'll second that, I don't usually like that POV but as you always do, your writing gripped me and your story held me through to the end. A few typos, but that's small cheese. You've done a beautiful job of capturing that sense of loss and love and poignancy, Chloe. And if even a fraction of that is reality, it's raw and it feels genuine and from the heart to this old guy who has tears in his eyes after reading that. Thank you for sharing with us, and if that was your reality, a virtual hug to go with the praise for your writing.

But so sad it was depressing

Great co tribute on it's not always about the guy and girl riding off into the sunset. The more poignant moments in life are these.....burned in our memory banks by the emotions, pain, and the experience of loss. Thanks. Keep writing Chloe! And hold onto that special one you can share these memories with and strengthen your bond by doing so!

Dan

Thank you! Gripping and Realistic.

My “Teresa” and I had our 'summer' over 40 years ago (over half of our life times ago). The pain, the sadness, the lose, were the same. Life DOES go on!

Our “letter from the past” provided our love’s reunion? Our second “summer” continues . . . .

P.S. Loved second person POV

Wonderful!++

Dear Chole,

Thank you for sharing,your story brought tears, as a reader, I do not write, but really appreciate your effort,this particular story seems to be heart driven,and seems to be a true and accurate account of time past, a very moving tale.

I am pleased that you found a loving and supportive partner, wish you all the best

Again thank you.

North

Jeez girl, that's all you've done this summer lol. This is fantastic Chloe. We can all feel the heart and soul in here. Well done.

Well written. I enjoyed your story, you have expressed yourself well.

I understand and have felt the pleasures and guilt from loving, It can be hard when someone is loved by more than one. I believe it is truly possible to care for and love more than one person, doing it without hurting others is much harder. Even if you have to walk away I also believe if you have loved somebody there is always a place in your heart for them, just as they will have a place in their heart for you, the connections are separated not destroyed. On a quiet moment you may drive past a place you shared with them, the memory returns, your love and time together not forgotten. Almost like a distant ache you wonder about them, sometimes wish for a chance to see them, hopeful for a fleeting glance or opportunity to say hello, then it is gone and you are back in your current world. Need to get home. Sort the shopping. Do the washing. Taxi the Kids. Hug your wife.

Thank you

you have a guy and cry over another that must be tough for your current guy to know he isn't enough i'd be insulted

He's not insulted. He knows how much I love him and he knows what he means to me and he knows the past is the past. Also, it's a story based on reality, it's not all the reality and he knows that too. He knows me too well to ever be insulted by me andas I said, he knows what he means to me. He's big enough to look past my flaws and see me the way I am and love me all the same, just as I love him. Which is about as personal an explanation as your likely to get on an open forum to someone I don't know. The only reason I answer publicly is coz I did dump the whole emotional dump into a story publicly so an honest question deserves an honest answer. What happened hurt me a lot back then and the memories hurt now. Writing something like this, even as a fictional version, really takes it out of you. I'm putting down my soul here and hanging it up in public. I think my final note said enough. You get it or you don't and he understands me more than anyone. I wouldn't have written this and submitted it if he wasn't okay about it. ....... Chloe

But thank you for reading and taking the time to comment. Both you and everyone else. It's hard to write something this open about oneself, even as a fictionalization. It's not all reality, as I said. Close enough, maybe, but it's an interpretation. And it means a lot to me that you read it through to the end. Thank you again.

Summertime Sadness

Knowing it's real and this personal makes it a bit harder to review.

You rock us with the emotions, the feelings and the sensations from the characters, scenes, thoughts and sex. It heightens the pain knowing it was real--especially with a married man that could have known better and a wife that finds out but keeps up the pretense until Teresa leaves for college. Just when I thought slamming the character and readers couldn’t get worse, we discover the dad knew too. You depict it so well I can actually see her side, his side and why it ended up more complex than it could or should have been. I felt the emotional rollercoaster tossing and turning me as I read it and the genuine romantic genre requires a tragedy or even a death of at least of the characters. Both suffered in their own way, hands down.

On how the story hits us so many ways, it’s a 5. However, while a good part of the repetitious nature of some of the feelings sometimes in more distant paragraphs could be explained by the mind and soul rocking constantly back-and-forth, some of it cannot be and I’d say at least 25-50% of about 6-7 paragraphs should have had descriptions and emotions consolidated with other related and earlier ones. Sometimes one can get away with repeating the same thing by carefully varying and rewording a new paragraph, but in my experience it’s one paragraph at best separated by a lot of intervening and different ones and then you can pick it up if you can find something of the new content that ties back into the old in some slightly different yet similar way. Sometimes this extra repetition did subtract from the reading flow but overall the pathos overrode that. In general I would have said (allowing for ½ stars) 4.5 because of that.

Overall though, very hard-hitting history turned fiction. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to get past that.

P.d. I thought of many songs that could have been included in this, as many of these ran through my heard while reading this:

“I Cannot Tell a Lie,” Paul Gilbert

“I Still Have that Other Girl,” Paul Gilbert

“More than Words Can Say,” Alias

“Love Cries,” Stage Dolls

“Deja Vu,” Van Halen

“Warm Regards,” Steve Vai

“Die to Live,” Steve Vai

“Until We Say Goodbye,” Joe Satriani

Thanks again for that. Critique noted and appreciated. Really, it's on LIT as a story, it's based far more closely on reality than anything else I've written here but in the end, it's written as story and if it feels real to you when your reading it, and you can feel her pain and her love, then I've achieved what I was looking for. It could have done with a good edit but I wrote it over about 48 hours and it all just poured out pretty much non stop. Maybe in a while I can come back and edit it but it's all a bit to raw for me right now. But I left comments open so comment away. Please. I write, I post stories here, I love comments. They're my reward.

Chloe, as you know from AH we have writers who scrub and edit their work until it is writerly perfection, but with the soul sucked out. This piece works so powerfully because its core of truth is so palpable and obvious (and if that can't be seen, readers haven't lived), and it's the rawness that grabs at the heart. You've had the guts to wear your heart on your sleeve where we see it bleed.

Sure, it could (like every story written here) have this change here and that tweak there, and it might be "better writing". But it wouldn't be anywhere near as good. Cudos to you - and the men who have loved you.

Impressive writing. Thank you. I wonder why some of us are sucked into abyss and and live to somewhat enjoy the painful memories. Writing about them so beautifully is a very special gift though even when it is composed for some special purpose.

Please do not edit or re-edit this one!

Oh Chloe!!

I feel your pain.

5* for a moving heart felt story.

This could use editing. I'd give it a 4.5 but that's not an option, so I give it the 5. As for the comment about writers editing too much out they lose soul, if you're a writer you should be able to write raw, soulful anytime you want. First time write from your heart & then revise the motherfucker and elevate it with polish and precision and deep thoughts. If you can't do that you'll be writing for Lit forever, but if that's what you like then don't worry bout it. I'm not a fan of the 'you' use in the story. There is a lot of stream of conscious writing here which makes me think of bloggers and not storytellers.

I checked out the Summer Story contest and found your story there before I logged in. Even though it's different story from Fingerprints on My Heart but I feel it's kinda a sequel of that story. Although extramarital affair isn't my thing but this story is so heartbroken. You captured that feeling of change and the end of happy (albeit imaginary) time perfectly while still have lots of sex scenes! I was a bit skeptical like whoa is this 3 pages long will it be boring? But I enjoyed reading it. The ending though is a bit unexpected, like everything came crashing down and suddenly Teresa realized her best kept secret is actually her worst. Anyway, I think the sex scenes could be more descriptive and less rushing though. Also, I want to know where I can vote your story. Just give me a link when they're open for voting!

Nicely done! I've followed your writing since the beginning on this site. Admire your dedication and drive.

That long black hair will do it every time. I feel bad for your current BF. I think this story may corrode your relationship. Unless he's into sharing, this will profoundly affect him no matter how understanding he is (my opinion based on experience with long black hair). Perhaps some things should be written but not shared.

Keep writing!

Don't feel bad for him. He was the one that got me started on LIT originally. He loves my stories and encourages me to write them and he knows me really well. And he loves the long black hair. Lol. So no, don't feel bad. Just enjoy the sadness of the story and that tale of lost love and parting. And the long black hair. Of course.

Thank you again for such soulful writing. Nothing compares to what you write

It's a Loving Wives story of a cheater. and a skank slut betraying a friend. I hope the wife found out...1star just to vote

My wife suggested I try your stories. Your descriptions of sex are intense and passionate and I suspect encouraged her in her own writing on LIT. This story, however, was melancholy. A wistful reminder of teenage years when what we thought was "love" was largely "lust." As a married man with young children, I'm glad I don't have a Teresa to complicate my life. While I don't mind a good cry, I was hoping for more romance. Anything a bit more uplifting you would suggest to a first time reader?

You didn't read it. Cheater. The wife knew. And where's your soul? Your heart? Nasty man. Go away and bother a dead dog. That's so mean to say horrible things like that.

I like your wife! Great recommendation, but this one wasn't a happy one. Let's see, something more uplifting AND romantic? Hmmm, definitely not "September Blue" or "A Teddy Bear for Christmas" (altho Teddy Bear is a romance with a happy ending, it does start off a little sad...)

Happy Birthday to Me and On the Beach are loving wives tales, hardly romantic but they're both fun if you enjoy Loving Wives stories. Hayley's Party? Not so romantic but fun. "Jeong Park" is the polar opposite of romantic but there's a lot of sex. Actually, there's not much else. "Strawberry" is kind of romantic in a ditzy kind of way, but Strawberry does make some awful mistakes every time.....

On reflection, rry "Sometime Harder is Best".or "Chinese Takeout" - they're about the most romantic. Maybe "The Wolf with the Red Roses", that's a stretch on the romance tho.

Where shall I begin? I knew this was going to be a sad story from the Title to the opening word. Very Good writing as all of your works are. Don't listen to the nay-sayers. Anyway where was I? Oh yeah. I sat back and said Are you ready for this Chrissie? Chloe I really thought I was. After day two of reading of joy and sadness and tissue galore I still had more to go. Just finished. WOW!!!. I was in no way prepared for this. Keep up the good work, love and I'll keep reading. You are on my favorite authors list and will remain there until you decide to stop writing .Chloe this one did me in. Looking forward to more from you.

Thank you again, Chrissie

TBC

...I just wanted to open with that, so it's clear that I appreciated & valued this piece. After reading it eagerly, and purusing the comments here, I feel that this one was difficult on many of the male egos. I know it was for mine. The thing is (for me personally) I gradually came to believe that 'I know this type of guy....he's a douche-bag.' And I certainly don't want to offend you or the precious moment from your life this was drawn from. I also felt touched by the beauty of what you shared as well....and most importantly, I felt those things because you brought them forth for me, with honesty, courage and authenticy. That's what makes this story sing. It called forth a whole host of questions about the relationship you painted, and about myself. And that's literary erotica! That's what I come here for! So Cheers to You!

Hi ChloeTzang, I'm so flattered you took the time to email me!

I felt I should clarify here that when I referred to the protagonist as a 'douchebag', I wasn't trying to be disrespectful, but rather to offer that I resonated with the character in a self-critical way. (I didn't sense from your reply that you felt this way, but I wanted to state here in the comments section). And actually this story has stayed with me for the past few hours, because of how much subtext, situation & story there is beyond what is just on the page.

It can be liberating & satisfying the confidence you can find being with a much younger woman, because you know you have the experience and wisdom to treat her in a more selfless way than pretty much any of the fumbling, frightened, self-centered guys her own age. You feel you can appreciate her, push her love buttons so to speak, and best of all she probably won't be quick to call you on your bullshit the way a more experienced woman might.

This can seem - and in honestly often feels and is - manipulative. Hence the douchebaggery. But that's far from the whole story, and I shouldn't have focused on that. Clearly he also genuinely shared in your beauty as an individual, and in opening you up to feeling your desire, worth and beauty....

You showed ALL of this in wordless ways through your portrayal of this relationship, because you did so with heart-breaking sincerity. You also painted a painful picture of how he undoubtedly suffered intensely for his desire to be an intimate part of your life for this short time.

I have but 5 Stars to give...but thank you.

Very touching and therapeutic. Sorry for your long ago loss. Maybe your old BF will see this and realize you are speaking to him. Your current partner is a very lucky guy.

This is different from your other stories? It's young, naive girl has sex with older guy who's known her since she was a child. Busty, blonde wife, etc. The only thing that wasn't in this (or I didn't see it), was the "I'm not even that pretty" part. So badically, same story as usual (lolzzz)

Practice makes perfect. Besides, you obviously haven't read all my other stories. Just the ones with this theme so I guess you like it more than you're saying, go figure that one. Enjoy the rest.

Very, very powerful. It isn't my favorite, that goes to anything with Baby Blue in it, but this is your most powerful work yet. I think it is because it is so close to your heart and it shows. I'm glad you have a partner to share this with you. It sounds like he knows how special you are and for that we can both be glad.

Teresa can never keep her legs closed when a guy comes on to her. She deserves the sorry she feels now since she could never commit to one guy.

So beautifully written Chloe, as always.

It reminded me of a similar love and pain that I experienced as an 18 year old that summer so long ago. The only difference being my love was a married 30 year old Eurasion with a 5 year old daughter. We both knew it was wrong...yet we were drawn like moths to a flame. She taught me so much over those 3 months her husband was away. It was gut wrenching when we broke up. We knew it had to finish, but neither of us wanted to. We never got back in touch and it took many years for me to get over it. One day I may try to write it down as beautifully as you have done here and try to express the joy, love and pain of an illicit summer romance.

This was far better than I thought it would be. I couldn't really relate to the MC, because I haven't really had any experiences like this that would allow me to draw a common point of reference in either the actions or mentality. What I did like was the heartfelt honesty in which the story was told, and the prose and pacing were so well done it allowed me to feel emotions for experiences I will never have, so thanks for that. It's a harder mark for an author to hit than most people think and you nailed it this time.

Couldn't finish the story tbh. Something about a young girl talking about love this, love that with a married man whose family she knows well was laugh out loud amusing.

I couldn't take it seriously.

There are my stories on here that are unrealistic but they don't try to hammer me with emotions and ask me to take then seriously.