All Comments on 'Sun and Moon'

.........but the brother is pathetic.

Loved it.

Loved it, hot sexy teasing & a good fucking then hopefully down to some lovemaking and romance.

Very erotic story that happens so often when one family member is sexually attractive. Always a chance when desires are revealed. Wonderful writing showing Richard's reactions and Luna's end response.

Keep writing! This is a good first story and I look forward to more stories. Thanks for your time and imagination.

Outstanding for your first story please keep going just don't add anybody to their story keep it just them and let it grow.

yeetus on her fetus

Keep this going you have a great start make them fall in love

Enjoyed the great read. Looking forward to reading more of this story. Thanks

Some little sisters freaking love to get a rise out of their big brothers. Mine didn't go quite that far. Still teenage sisters especially cute, built ones can be a challenge. Nicely done.

I like your writing style, but I have to concur with the other commenter. The brother is pathetic. Honestly, it is a tired cliché that the guy is sooo resisting and responsible beyond any realistic measure, and it is especially unconvincing if this guy, who was able to control himself for days, suddenly ragefucks her without thinking about hurting her. It's not like he has had a trauma that would explain his behaviour, he just has a hot sister who sucked him off. He comes across as a bit of a pussy. It's a shame, because your writing and the sister's character is really well done.

I generally liked the story, parts of it were pretty hot. What I'd like to suggest for the future is to write more natural dialog. Use contractions, can't instead of 'cannot' and don't in place of 'do not' and so on.

Also, pay more attention to details: when he awoke after fucking his sister his cock wouldn't have laid on his chest unless he was a freak of nature. Additionally, he protested too much. He could be reluctant, sure, but it can go on to the point of being unbelievable or boring.

I offer these critiques as constructive and objective criticism, not to demean your efforts. By all means, write again. I look forward to your next offering. Thank you!

Whore fucking other guys. Nasty cunt. Crap story. 1 star

Thank you very much for the feedback and for liking my first story. My explorations into writing this sort of thing is very young yet but I still have ideas rattling around. I hope to live up to expectations with my future works.

Pretty good story. Hot in parts. The brother was unrealistic as has been mentioned. His sexual prowess was beyond realistic and completely unbelievable.

Terrible, terrible dialogue! Real people just don't talk like this.

As an ami reading what I assume was written by a brit, the cross-the-pond difference was meager by contrast to most of what the Limeys scribe.

Characters were easily picked up, point & motive.

Plot: easily identifiable & concise.

Identifiable archetypes & familiar shtics.

Who doesn't love the strong femme fatale?

The reluctance was well intoned & plausible. Enough anyways.

Her emotional fire and his indulgence were illustrated well..

The lemon was illustrated well enough.

Best way to build for the well deserved sequel? Her surreptitious, ambitious plans for his unplanned creampie.. "On the pill" she said.. Not her first bent-truth ;)

I enjoyed the story very much but do agree with others that people just don't talk the way Richard does or at least anyone I know. Again I really like the story.

You built the action and reaction well.

I am interested in how you continue their love making and whether they continue the relationship and tenderness.

"His member lay fairly limp against his chest" ... Jesus Christ, how long is his dick? How is his member laying against his chest? He must have 12 or 14 inch dick..

Let's use some anatomical correctness. His member would be laying against his lower belly. Not against his chest.

a wimp gets raped by 900 pound sis, given a blow job (MEH). hey wimp there is a pussy in the house made for a dick and cum. Then bro turns into the HULK! and stops lil sissy...SILLY story

classic example of displacing all moral responsibility of the eros on the woman, drawing the man as clean of 'bad' desire. Incest stories obviously, or should, work off of the tension between what is and is not appropriate. But a more mature or balanced POV would place this conflict in both characters rather than leveraging cliches, rather appealing to the amoral, lusty woman who alone is responsible for the eros.

Don't listen to the detractors. We all should be aware that these stories are fiction. And this was wonderfully sexy fiction. Keep it up!

continue please

It is Classic Behavior to have Luna be the typical sex-crazed horny teenager without emotion of what she is doing,simply targeting her brother to get him to fuck her like a wanton whore or slut,but after the deed,Richard pretty much berated her for her selfish childish acts and pretty much told her he wasn't gonna put up with her one-sided obsession.

And after listening to Richard,Luna broke down and confessed that she was really in love with her brother,but like most typical teenage girls she lacked the courage to tell her brother how she really felt,due to fear of rejection from her brother,but Richard assured Luna he wouldn't abandon her like she thought he would if he found out she loved him deeply with every fiber of her being.

Ultimately I think Richard and Luna were destined to be together as they should be,I mean who is to say love between siblings or family members is morally or illegally wrong if their love is as strong for each other as anyone why shouldn't they be together,just because some law was written that condemns incest as disgustingly gross doesn't mean they are right,love shouldn't be judged if brother and sister feel the same way about each other.That is all and great story.

I wish I had a cogent response to why I viscerally hated this story...she LOVED him? How the heck is this love? Great for incest fetishists, I suppose. Or those who are looking for nasty brother-sister fantasy sex...I was hoping for more emotion...

A person just doesn't treat someone they love like this, ESPECIALLY a sibling. Both characters are wrong. Good jerk material, I suppose.

I can watch fake step-fantasy porn online for that.

Treat siblings better, they deserve it, especially with those who are supposed to be loving each other. This story could have been so much better. The premise was decent. The writing and story was not.

I need a shower.

Seduction should be slow, gentle, intimate, tender, and loving. This story felt like nothing more than a gender reversal of the commonly accepted belief regarding how Highschool Boys pursue girls.

Yes, it was a bit on the Luna-y side but, I loved it. If my sister did that to me, I'd probably still be with her today. To each his own. 5*

Damn so hot, one of the best erotic stories with bro/sis