All Comments on 'Sunday School'

I've just read this, and then your previous two stories. Each is comparable to the best I've come across here. As a trifecta, even better. I've only scored them five stars because it's not possible to give them six. What more can I say?

It feels too short though; the ending was definitely too abrupt and unsatisfying.

Would be interesting to see Anna's progression as she submits to Liz

I hope so. Soccer mom so naughty! You've left me wanting more. Really good story.

Great storyline but it seemed to end too fast. Some more resolution, a set up for more, something. Great work though, very erotic

Seriously, you need to write more of this. So many possibilities.

Ending was rushed. More details needed about the C chemistry between the pair. Awaiting further installments.

you need to write more of this. So many possibilities.these young girl can with your help anna have some other moms in same bed and stable..sunday school can be a hot way to teach to perfect housewives a lot of fun..amy friend of anna can be involved and more possibility can happens

dn't be shy and continue these good story..

thanks

Loved it! I hope there's more on the way!

Love this story and need to know how they get on

I think you should definitely continue with this as there are many foreseeable possibilities. The ending felt extremely rushed.

I enjoyed it...but I wanted more....

Thank you Emily, great story hoping for another chapter, kept me hard for the full ride and a happy ending !!! #BBN

Top notch writing overall with the pacing and buildup. The sex itself was good, that I will admit.

However, the closure was a little off. It needed one more sex scene of lovemaking to close the gaps. Besides serving the need of erotica, because we all want more sex, it would help with the pacing of the transformation of Anna becoming a bisexual slut and the bond between Anna and Liz.

Better yet, have another chapter of these two erotic women, they have barely overstayed their welcome yet.

Proper endings can make and break a story. You're good enough of a writer to avoid that trap, that I could see.

Excellent story and very well written. The build-up was perfect and the sex scene very erotic however, you could have carried the love making on in more detail with Liz commanding Anna to perform many sex acts on Liz. The story could further go on to explain why Liz performed so many sex acts at college and have Liz bring Anna further into her world, but as lesbian lovers only.

Really liked the story but really, really would like this story to continue for many more chapters.

Keep writing, THANKS

Your story was superb. You have talent - please keep applying it......

would love to have seen you be more descriptive of your love making

I agree with 'No Qualms' below. I absolutely love the way the hotel room scene was portrayed. I also agree that it was waaaaay to short. Please write some more, especially this story. More bdsm (in small caps as I am not into BDSM), perhaps husband is humiliated as well. MORE, MORE, MORE.

THANKS FOR A GREAT STORY - KEEP UP THE WRITING. :-)

wonderful! There is no doubt that the scene in the hotel was verrrry hot. What made it extra sexy, at least for me, was the truly wonderful build-up to it.

You did an excellent job of telling the story. The enticing "something" that caught Anna's attention and wouldn't let go. The way you let us into her thoughts, her disbelief that would do nothing to quench the smoldering desire... first for knowledge to confirm what she couldn't believe (and hoped for), and then for carnal knowledge.

Without that well written build-up, it would have been "just" a steamy quickie. No worries, the quickie might have gotten a 5 on its own, but wouldn't have made my Favorites list. Just a wonderful story.

A quick review of your submissions suggests that the winter of 2016 had you snowed in, or something. Great use of the time, in my opinion. I join others who encourage you to write more. Even if you don't ever submit to Lit again (please do!), I hope you continue to use your writing skill for many years. Thanks for sharing.

A good story, and the (heretofore straight) protagonist's crush on the young woman was well handled, allowing an unlikely situation to be credible. [This website is full of unlikely situations that are a great deal less believable!]

The story could use a bit of editing, though. The church's name changes half way through the story, for example, and at one point the protagonist is bent over with her hands on the bed while her fingers clutch at the couch... in the same sentence. Granted, she would have been a bit distracted right then, but the author shouldn't be! Cleaning up those, and a few typos, would improve the story-- not that I docked you any stars for the mistakes.

It's a shame that you seem to have disappeared after a quick flurry of stories, each of which was well above the Lit average. This one was good less for the sex (about which I have no complaints, mind you) and more for the extended lead up, with first your protagonist's growing crush, then her learning about Liz's college "extracurricular activities" turning the crush into an obsession.

It could definitely use a bit of editing-- it might help for you to physically place yourself in the positions of your protagonist (with or without a partner!), so that you can better picture and describe what is happening. That way you can avoid having a character who was supposed to be on a bed grab the couch, for instance. Also look for the sorts of typos that SpellCheck can't recognize: check for cheek, for example.

I only mention these because your descriptive writing is too good to be damaged by distracting flaws... and I still gave you all five stars, of course.

I've been working on my dissertation for the past year, but plan to start writing again after January of 2018. Thank you all so much for the great feedback!!!! See you soon!!!

Best regards and thanks for the first time I've ever seen.

So naughty, so yummy.

My fav Love. Please come back and write more

I really love the beginning but when she arrive at the room i give up. I'm not in bondage, sorry

First act good. Hotel act not so much.

running the side of her check against the smoothness of my ass, (I believe the word you are looking for is CHEEK)

Grabbing a handful of my hair, Liz prope her leg up on the bed, (I believe the word you are looking for is PROPPED)

All in all the story is Great! Sorry for the spelling lessons.