Sundown Ch. 02

I shook my head negatively.

"Do you know what that is?" she asked

"No" I replied.

"It's love" she said simply.

"My cousin, is not that pretty. Her tits are too big and they're sagging, her ass is too big, and shit she's what, 46 or 47? Unless she was lying there naked in front of them most guys wouldn't give her a second look! But you look at her through love colored glasses, so she's just everything to you. That won't just go away, no matter what she's done so you might as well talk to her. Hear her side of it, she already knows your part from that beautiful letter you wrote her but that letter, as beautiful as it was, and as mean as it was in some parts didn't do anything but strengthen her resolve to be with you" she paused for a second.

"You know what happens when a puppy shits on the floor? The owner spanks the puppy with a newspaper and then rubs the puppies nose in the shit. The puppy immediately forgets about having his nose rubbed in the shit and few hours later the sting of the paper is gone, but the memory of the pain makes the puppy not want to shit on the floor again. You packed up your stuff and left Mary and then you wrote her this letter and called her a whore, and a bunch of bitches but you also told her that you still loved her. The woman almost had a fucking heart attack when you left her and the whole town you live in thinks she's a whore but the one thing she focuses on is the fact that you still love her. That alone will give her the strength to follow you anywhere you go so why not just talk to her and try to resolve this some how?"

"There is no resolution to this Arlene" I said softly. Then I fell asleep again.

My first thought was 'Why was I always waking up, in the middle of the night spooned up against Arlene?' but something seemed off about that.

Oh shit, even in the darkness I could tell this was Mary. For one thing she still had the kimono on. It had risen up and she was slowly and gently rubbing her ass against me, and my body was into it.

I pushed her away from me like she was a rattlesnake. The move exhausted me, and although she wasn't physically damaged Mary started to cry.

"Do you know how much I've missed that?" she asked through her tears. "I swear I wasn't trying to take advantage of you, and you started it" she said.

"I was asleep" I said pointedly.

"Well maybe your body knows what it needs more than your brain does" she said.

"Mary what do you want from me?" I asked. "I mean what will it take for you to just let me go? There is no future for us" I said in a matter of fact tone.

"I'm not saying that I don't love you, because I do" I noticed that as I said that her face got a tiny bit of its color back.

"But it's not because I want to. I hate you Mary, I hate what you did to us but I also can't turn off the love we built over 10 years, just like that. I am working on it though, and I'm working hard"

"Why would you try to stop loving me?" she asked

"Mary if we sit down and talk right now for as long as you need will you go home and give me some time alone? Because if not this conversation is over. I know this isn't what I wanted but I'll do it, if you promise to leave me alone for a while"

"How long?" she asked.

"A year" I said quickly.

"Never" she said just as quickly.

"Six months" I said.

"Two days" She countered.

"Two weeks" I offered.

Mary started to nod, but then in a quiet voice said "one week and we talk again on the phone, then the 2nd week"

I could accept that so I said "Deal" she stuck out her hand reflexively for me to shake, and the tears started up again when she noticed that I didn't even want to touch her hand.

"You find me repulsive now don't you? I'm just another wrinkled up old whore and I really messed this up didn't I?"

"Mary we have a deal, so start talking" was all I said.

"That wasn't our deal" she quickly replied. "This wasn't supposed to be like what you were offering me before. You said "we" would have a talk not I could talk for 30 minutes while you pretend to listen and then say see ya later bitch" she said through her tears.

"Like it was some sort of community service" she spat out.

"Mary what do you want?" I asked

She turned off the lights and pulled me back down on the bed, and then lay down in front of me, and pulled my arms around her.

"For the past 10 years" she said. "This is the way we've always talked about things. When you asked me to marry you, this is how it was. If I wanted to change the brand of toothpaste we were using, or you didn't like my Lasagna this is how we told each other" she said trying not to cry.

"We have to get used to not doing this though, so maybe we should sit up and face each other and talk like everyone else does" I answered.

Mary didn't often swear, so when she said "fuck everyone else" I was shocked.

"If you have your way, I'll never get this again, so why shouldn't I have it now? Even now I can feel you trying not to touch me, like I'm some piece of dog shit on the ground. It hurts me more than you can understand and I feel like I just want to die" she said.

"Take that and multiply it by 10, and you'll know how I felt seeing you in that motel but the thing I just don't understand, Mary, is why? What didn't I do for you? What did you need that you weren't getting from me. I didn't think that we were bored with each other and if there was anything you wanted all you had to do was ask me. I would have died trying to do whatever it was to make you happy but you wouldn't even tell me what was wrong with us or give me that chance. You had to go to someone else, and now that Sundown is dead, you want me back. Do you even have a clue how much it hurt me to see the woman I love more than I love myself, fucking some other guy, some other guys? How would you feel if you walked in and found me fucking one of those 20 year olds at work? But now that I've seen it you with those guys, every time I think about it, I hurt all over again. I don't think we can go back, to what we had ever and if you're thinking that maybe we can have one of those modern relationships where you have your guys and I have my girls and we even watch each other, I'm just not interested in that."

For a long time, nothing was said. Mary held onto my arm fiercely and wouldn't let me pull it away. Our proximity naturally resulted in my dick swelling up and Mary sighed as she felt it. I tried to back my pelvis away from her, and heard her sniffle.

"John, I have never in my life felt about anyone the way I feel about you" she began. "I would literally die for you, or die without you, so to me there's really no choice between you leaving me and me moving on. I just couldn't do it. If you said we'd stay together but we could never have sex again or I could be with someone else and have all the sex I want, there's no choice. I'd pick you. Your Attorney showed me the videos that you want to show my parents and the whole town and the world and that's fine, I can live with that, but I can't live without you. If every man in town wanted to offer me money to fuck them, it wouldn't do any good because it won't ever happen again"

"So you just fuck guys for Sundown?" I asked.

"I hated Sundown" she snapped. "And I never had sex with him"

I pushed her away from me, and rolled to the other side of the bed.

She sat up.

"I swear to you it's the truth" she said turning on the light. "I swear on my love for you."

"Oh like that's believable" I said.

"I do love you" she screamed. "I did all of this for you."

"Oh yeah" I said, "Just what I always wanted, to see my wife in a motel fucking strange men"

She moved over to my side of the bed and tried to maneuver me back into the position we'd been in. At first I refused, but then she said "please" very quietly and in an almost desperate tone.

I lay back down and so did she, and again we were back against each other.

It made me think about magnets, you put them next to each other on a table and they just came together.

"This all started about 2 years ago" she said.

I stiffened up and tried to pull my hand away from her.

"You've been fucking around on me for 2 years" I hissed.

"No only a few weeks" she said "will you please just listen. Anyway, we're not rich" she said.

"I know that" I replied. "It never seemed to bother you before" I continued trying to pull my arm away from her.

"It hasn't bothered me since either" she said "I don't care about money, but I do care about you and every time we went to a car show or saw one of those TV shows or picked up a magazine you got that faraway look in your eyes. You're fifty years old, and you've worked hard all of your life and I just wanted to give you the one thing that you wanted most. But I knew that no matter how much we save and tried to put away it just wasn't going to happen. Then when I met Sundown, through Milly and Budd McQueen, he seemed so nice. He was Budd's nephew, so I thought he was OK. He loaned me the money for the down payment and he was talking about .5 percent interest so for a 10,000 dollar loan I was thinking that it would amount to about 50 dollars a year in interest. I didn't understand that he meant .5% daily. So after a couple of months of paying him whatever I could skim from our household budget plus whatever I made selling stuff on ebay, I owed him more than when I took out the loan. After a year, it had doubled. And then Sundown started coming around threatening to tell you, or beat me up or hurt you and I couldn't deal with it so I asked him if there was anything else I could do to work off the money. I thought he'd want me to sell or make or hide his drugs for him or arrange loans for someone else but he started to tell me about how there were men out there that would pay a lot of money to be with me. We could split the money 50/50 so if I did 3 guys a day, at $200 each, that would pay off $250 a day plus the interest. Sundown also agreed not to charge me interest on the weekends since you'd be home and might find out. So I thought that, at that rate, in a few months the whole nightmare would be over and you'd never find out." She paused to take a deep breath.

"Did you watch the videos?" she asked. "What those men got from me, was it like what you and I do, or did? All I did was let them do what they wanted I just laid there like a rock, and thought about you. I cried after almost everyone. Sundown would tell me that some of his customers wanted me to be more lively but I told him they were paying to fuck me, and that was how I fucked. No kissing, that was only for you, No blowjobs, that was only for you, no anal, just plug and chug and go home. When we make love, you know how I move, how I sound how I react. Is that what you saw on the screen? And then when I got home, I always cleaned myself up before I'd let you near me and I always, after the purely physical acts that I allowed them, gave you all of my love. Physically and emotionally in every way I could" she paused again and I looked at her tear stained face.

"Did I ever once turn you away? I belong to you, body, mind and soul so it seemed a small price to pay for something you love so much. There were times when I just hated myself for what I was doing. when I really felt like just a whore and I wanted to just die but then you'd start telling me about something you wanted to get for the car and I'd see that light in your eyes, and I'd think just 3 months. Hell, I'd do this for the rest of my life to see him that happy. If you know anything about me you know that for me sex without love is just something cheap and nasty and this wasn't even that because when they plugged in I just checked out. I thought about us going away somewhere, or doing the bills. I couldn't even think about us having sex for fear that I might react subconsciously and make them think that I was enjoying it. How long does it take for you to give me an orgasm or 2? Not long does it? Whether it's from you eating me, or making love to me or sometimes just from you rubbing my breasts I'm always screaming and quivering and fucking you right back. Did you see any of that on that screen? did you see even one of those guys give me even one shitty little orgasm? In most cases all they gave me was pain that you quickly took away as soon as you got home and as far as Sundown goes, he only thought of me as his whore. He was always telling me he didn't understand why they wanted some wrinkled up old bitch like me. Sundown only liked black women honey, I was not his type. Honestly, the only person who sees me as anything more than some chunky old woman is, or at least was, you. People pass me on the street everyday on my way to the market or the store and never even notice me. The only thing that made me special is the fact that you love me and after 10 years I don't think I could live without that. I know that what I've done is totally and completely wrong but I didn't get any pleasure out of it. I didn't do it for the strange sex, or because I needed someone other than you, because I don't. I'll never need anyone but you but as much as I hated it, as much as I've become the town whore by now, or I will be when your video and pictures go out, I'd do it all again. Except for the part about losing you, because that almost killed me, I'd do all of it except that, over to see you that happy. I don't have anything else left to say, except that I now that you only agreed to the 2 weeks with the call after a week because the doctor said you'd be ready to get out of bed in a couple of days. I also know that in the back of your mind you plan to take off as soon as you can get out of here but please call me after the week is up, just so I know you're alright, before I come looking for you. And I am going to find you again, or at least I'll never stop trying. And please come and get your car, in the spring" she was crying again.

"I'd hate to think that our marriage, and all of the sacrifices we both made for you to have it went for nothing. At least if you still have it, and it still makes you happy, then it was worth it." Her body was racked with little spasms, and I couldn't help holding her tighter.

"I know this has taken longer than my 30 minutes" she said " but I'm almost done. First I just want to thank you for the happiest 10 years any woman has ever, ever known and before this I was never unfaithful to you in any way, and I never would have been. I also want you to know that there will never be another man for me and if you need me in any way shape or form, whether it's to take care of you, or to talk, hopefully this kind of talk, or even just a booty call, I'll always be there for you but you also need to know that you are a part of me, so if you start trying to find someone to replace me, you need to find someone you can be around 24 hours a day because I will kill her or at least hurt her badly, and that includes my cousin. The last thing I want is just for one last time can we stay here tonight and let whatever happens happen, and start the 2 weeks tomorrow, please?"

I didn't answer, but I did pull her closer to me and hold onto her a little tighter.

I rubbed her breasts a bit through the silk of the Kimono and when I trailed one of my hands down between her legs she was already so wet, just from me touching her.

We didn't do anything that night but just held each other and slept. When I finally woke the next morning she had gone home.

"She told me told tell you she loves you and please call her in a week, like you promised. She said she'll keep her promise and not hunt you for the week. You know when she left here this morning she looked at least 10 years younger. It's amazing that someone can love you so much that just being with you can have that kind of affect"

"Start feeding me Arlene, I've got to get my strength back"

"You're really going to run out on her? Are you even going to call her?"

"Nope, I'm not" I said smiling.

"You really are an asshole" said Arlene. "And to think I was going to give you some pussy now that she's gone"

"Well I guess that's my loss" I said "But in a couple of weeks I need a big favor from you, and Mary will too. I think it just might lead to the 2 of you regaining your closeness"

"Well call me in a couple of weeks and tell me what it is" she said. "But I can't guarantee that I won't turn you in to her again; I really think you two losers deserve each other"

A week later I was waiting outside of my old house, as Mary left to go and do some shopping. It was her habit to go out and buy fresh ingredients for dinner and I guess she still did. I let myself in the back door and noticed that not much had changed around the house. There were more pictures of me around for some reason, and there was a pad of paper by the phone. There were also 2 suitcases by the door in the living room. I guess Mary was intending to go look for me as soon as I didn't call, just as she said she would. I quickly ran out to the garage and saw our Mustang was just like I'd left it. I put the cover over it, to keep her warm. I'd forgotten on the day I left her and Mary hadn't done it either. I gave the car an affectionate kiss and headed back for the house.

I got back inside the house just as Mary's aging Toyota pulled into the driveway.

Damn, she got done with the shopping a lot faster than I'd expected.

She ran into the house and quickly checked the messages on the phone. There were none. She threw the grocery bag down dejectedly and just sat down next to the phone staring at it. Suddenly the phone rang and she smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes as she picked it up.

Then she sat down again.

"Hello Arlene"

"No, he hasn't called me yet"

"You did tell me that he said he wasn't going to call me"

"It doesn't matter if he doesn't love me, anymore, I'll always love him"

"I have to get off the phone just in case he calls"

"He said what?"

"I don't know anything about it"

"What do you think he wants you to do?"

"Arlene stay on the line I think I heard something"

She turned around, and saw me standing behind her with my arms open.

"Oh God!" she said and ran to me.

This time I did not pull away from her, and I did kiss her because I didn't care where her lips had been, as long as they were on mine.

One year later almost to the day Mary and I sat holding hands in the delivery room as our daughter Mary-Arlene was born.

She was a test tube baby, we'd extracted several of Mary's eggs, they were fertilized with my sperm and implanted in Arlene. Arlene had carried her niece to term and was delivering her. Mary and I both cut the cord and both Arlene and Mary-Arlene were doing fine.

I never thought that I'd be able to get over what I saw on the screen that day, but my love for Mary, and hers for me was far stronger than one little misstep. And her reasons for doing it were, though not wise, genuinely done out of love for me.

In the end it took a lot of time and some patience and some counseling before things were back anywhere near normal for us. We also spent a lot of time talking things over in bed, and we probably always will. The last time we talked like that was just last night, when Mary decided that we really needed a car seat for the Mustang.