All Comments on 'Surprise From Calvin'

Wonderful , One of my fav storys , pls cont the series :D

I do hope you have some more for the siblings. I do however, like that you didn't try to cram all types of sex into one short story. I believe you have more to say and wonder if you will.

Kevin

...but get a fucking editor! So many mistakes and clumsy spelling that, in places, it reads as though it's been translated from another laguage.

The story may have been good but after that confusing start about who was screwing who and who married who and THEN this:

"(apparently they broke up last weekend at my birthday party, and he never told me). Calvin and I are very close. We tell each other everything." Well obviously NOT! You think you might pick that up reading over it.

The story was ok but THAN should be THEN!! Almost stop reading because of the grammar errors!

Yes, some of the criticisms are valid. However, just because there is a blemish on the skin of the fruit doesn't spoil the meat within. You have a good story sense. I can see another chapter and/or two for this story theme. Please keep writing.

I like your story a lot, it heads in a direction that promises more. This is not a story that horrendously ruined by grammar like some are. There are a few things to fix that will mostly come to light through proofreading. Will they make love the following weekend and then fuck, or is it the other way around? Just how will they use that house? How can they take advantage of a remote location to pursue their relationship? A good story is forming; keep it up.

This story had great structure and direction. There was a definite sense of realism in both the dialogue and action (within a fictional framework). Yes it would benefit from editorial skills, but to damn it as some have done is unmerited. This community used to be more supportive of the authors' efforts. And I wonder how many of those here, and in other submissions, who offer up such vociferous editorial advice tender that service themselves? I would proffer that support, advice, and criticism be offered in that order.

To “s_kitten_1”, thank you for your efforts.

I hope you post another chapter of this story soon! One can see there are many ways for this story to go and I hope you take the time to develop it.

As I read the first 2 paragraphs I started to get worried. Could it be that somebody had actually written a story to go along with Ray Stevens song, "I'm My Own Grandpa"? Thankfully that wasn't the case.

As to the spelling errors, shit happens. Don't let the anonymous put-downers get to you. Just try to get better as you write more.

dezurtdawg

just because this is an amateur site doesn't mean you don't need to do it right. if you want to write for yourself that is fine but don't post it! if you want to write for the readers make sure it is done right. SHOW SOME PRIDE IN YOUR WORK AND A WHOLE LOT OF RESPECT FOR THE READERS AND USE A GOOD EDITOR BEFORE POSTING DO IT RIGHT OR NOT AT ALL.

Very nice story, pacy, one small criticism, it needs a little editing, just a polish-up, otherwise hot and sweet!

A nice story, but the spelling/grammar mistakes make it a bit hard to understand at times. I'm still not clear if Calvin and Lori are truly half siblings, or not related at all, except by the parents' marriage. Kids who grow up together are likely to feel pretty much the same way about one another, though, even if they do not share a genetic line. And others may feel that if they become lovers, they have "sinned", even if they aren't actually related, except by the marriage of their elders. Damned one way or another, by those who love to cast stones.

Good story so far. I know this story is quite old and the author hasn't uploaded anything for a few years but I was prompted to comment because of one sentence at the end of this story where Lori says ""I could sneak into your room after mom and dad come up and check on us? If you want me too?""

These are 18 year old teenagers, or almost 18, why on earth would their parents be 'checking up on them' before going to bed.

I see this in a lot in sibling incest stories where the 'children' who are adults, 18+, whose parents walk into their bedrooms without knocking first. Is this an American thing? Do American parents treat their adult children with this much disrespect for their privacy.