Svetlana in Olive Drab

But then one day, this new girl showed up. She was from another country; Germany, I'm pretty sure. Well, West Germany because there were two Germanys back then. I liked her right off the bat. I guess that I thought that she'd be like a lot of the kids who'd sometimes show up because they'd just come here from somewhere else. They all had a hell of a time trying to get a grasp of the language and the way that it must have been really hard to fit in. Most of them had trouble.

But not Monika, now that I remember her name. She just appeared one day and she could already speak, read and write English really well. I used to just stare at her and the way that she just fit right in. I think she must have had more friends than I did in about an hour. Believe me, self-confidence was not an issue for that girl at all."

So what happened?" Natalia asked, "Did you ever talk to her? Did it turn into something?"

He laughed and shook his head as he walked to fill the kettle and get a little instant coffee going for them, "Hell no. I didn't have much of whatever she was looking for. There was a dance coming up and I spent a little time trying to get my courage up to ask her to go.

But when I finally had a chance, it was only as she was in a hurry to go to another class. I walked up and I introduced myself, saying that we had a few classes together, and she nodded and said, "Yes" in a sort of way that sounded like a combination of 'yes, I know that' and 'yes, what do you want?'.

I did my best, but she looked at me in the slightly uncomfortable way that I'd imagine that a rocket scientist must look to find herself suddenly face to face with a head of cattle. She looked rather bothered and then she said that she already had a date for that evening. Then she was gone and I slipped back into the undergrowth and stayed there.

She'd sometimes feel it if I looked over at her in the classes that we had together. That's when she'd just look annoyed at me. It made me feel like a first-class creep, so I just kept my head down after that.

She wasn't in my classes the next year anyway. I heard that she was skipped ahead and though I saw her now and then, she never saw me. The next thing that I heard was that she finished that year and went to university way early, being a genius and all. Mostly, I just remember her looking so comfortable and really confident and almost mysterious to me, as though I really was just a dumb creature who had no business even having those thoughts about somebody like her.

I guess I must have learned something from it, though," he smiled as he poured the milk, "which eludes me at the moment. "

"I think that I was a little like that," Natalia said, "But I don't think that I would have just looked through someone who asked me to a dance -- even if I did not want to go with him. If I didn't want to go, I would say that, though not in any hard way. I was just honest.

There was one dance a year -- only one, where the girls could ask the boys to go. The rest of the time, one had to hope a little if she didn't have a boyfriend.

I liked this one boy. He was very, ... I don't know what the girls say here - or said then. I have heard Nikky say that someone was hot, but when you are from another culture, it sounds a little stupid. Anyway I really liked him, and I tried to learn if he had a girlfriend."

She laughed a little, "I must have followed him around for half a week, but I only saw him studying or sometimes playing soccer with his friends, and he did not have many. I planned what I would say and then it was a little agony to get my courage to hold.

Finally, I went up to him when he was alone and I asked him.

But he said that he did not plan to go to the dance at all. He thanked me very politely for thinking enough of him to ask him and then the rest was some mumbling which I did not understand, because I guess that I wasn't listening anymore. I walked away and then I was almost in tears. I felt so stupid then.

That's why I was never hard to anyone who asked me, even if I did not want to go. I was never rude or cold. I just told them that I had something else to do that night. Of course, I sometimes went anyway with my friends and sometimes I saw the boys who had asked me, but what could I do?

I found out later that the boy that I'd liked would often go to attend party meetings like a good socialist boy. I hope he got what was so important to him. I wouldn't even look at him after I found that out.

I think that I might have been something like a, ... I don't know, a hippie? I got good marks easily, but I was only there because I had to be. I went to the Black Sea with two of my friends and we looked for a hidden place and then we just took our bathing suits off.

I guess now that it was a stupid thing to do, but it felt so good to do that. There were only the three of us, my friend and her boyfriend and we got a little drunk. It was after dark and my friend was always having sex with her boyfriend in the most unbelievable places. I don't think that they cared very much at all. That night on the beach, she asked me if I was a virgin or something and I said yes."

Natalia laughed a little then, "I don't know what I thought would happen if I wasn't. She asked me if I would like to borrow her boy once and I was drunk enough to say alright. The next thing that I knew, I was standing in the water bent over and he did it to me right there. It hurt when he pushed in, and then it felt better.

Well it was nice, but it wasn't what I'd thought that it would be like. Then it was over and I had to worry for the next few weeks.

I never did anything like that again. It didn't feel good enough to me to be worth the trouble and the worry.

But I remember that then -- and not now - I was usually confident." She sighed, "I wish that I had that now. But I know that I feel better with you, so I am happy, Pete."

"Hey, could you help me with something. Natalia?" he asked as he fished in his pocket for something.

"You said that you can speak Russian. Can you read it as well?"

She nodded, "Of course. Why? What do you have?"

He handed the key fob to her and she looked at it for a moment, "I have seen this emblem before somewhere," she said, "It was a long time ago, but I am sure that I have seen it."

"What does it say on the other side?" he asked, "It's stamped in some sort of Cyrillic text that I can't read."

"It has the same words in two styles of writing," she said, "One is the Cyrillic as you have said. The other is the same thing in English style text. It says 'Irbitskiy Mototsikletniy Zavod', or 'Irbit Motorcycle Factory'.

Where did you get this?"

He chuckled, "I bought it last Saturday from a man who is selling me a motorcycle."

Her eyes opened a little wider then in realization. "I think there must be some mistake."

She pointed at the leather again, "I have been there, to Irbit. It is a place where there are summer fairs and markets. The people there have done this forever -- for almost four hundred years and my school went there to see it. The only other thing there really, is a big, huge factory where they make motorcycles.

But they are not any sort of motorcycles which you could buy. They were once made only for use by the Red Army, but when I was there, they were made for a few Russian people and a little went to export. Many went to other lands, but the ones which I saw leaving there looked military to me. I thought that they might be sold to other armies."

"When were you there?" he asked, and she said, "The early 1980s."

He laughed a little, "Well I'm buying a motorcycle and sidecar which was built in Irbit and the name on the tank says Ural."

"I would wish to see that," she smiled, "But you say it wrong. The town is not called 'errbit'. The right way to say it is 'Eerbit' and the motorcycle is named after the mountains, which are not 'You-rall'." She laughed a little and Pete just had to laugh along a little.

"We say 'Ooral'. If you ever go to there, I want to be sure that you do not sound like a TOOrist."

She looked at him a little funny, he thought and he waited. He didn't know her all that well, he thought, but he had a feeling that there was a question coming.

"But, Pete," she began, "I came to your garage and went inside as you said that I should to look for the key. There is a motorcycle in there, a Harley-Davidson. Why do you wish to buy what you have said?"

He shrugged, "A couple of reasons, I guess. The Harley will be sold as soon as I can manage it." He paused then and she saw that he was trying to order his thoughts a little.

"I've owned many motorcycles over all of my life, Natalia. It's just who I am. Most have been Japanese of one kind or another. The last one is the one that you saw. Maggie loved to ride with me. I think she was more impressed with the Harley than I was. But it ran well and it still does. The trouble for me is that it reminds me of spending time with her on that thing.

I've always kind of loved any bike that I've owned for as long as I've owned it. I had a big Honda before the Harley and that love lasted almost fifteen years. Through almost all of my adult life, since about my second bike, I've also loved only one woman.

Now she's gone, and I know that it's not the motorcycle's fault, but I find now that I don't love that bike anymore. In fact, I hate it. I only rode it a couple of times early in the season this year.

Now?" He shrugged.

"I don't ever want to ride it again.

So I was looking around last Saturday, thinking that I might want to find a bike that I can like enough to ride. But my style and my needs have changed. I never really was into that whole biker lifestyle and neither was Maggie. I've always just been a guy who likes motorcycles.

These days, I find that I don't care about fast, or loud or really, really shiny bikes.

I think I want something slower, not that it's all that important to me, but it has to have some storage space that I don't have to pay extra for in case I want to buy groceries, and a huge reason for me which won't make any sense to you, is that I want something that isn't a car or a truck that will take me to the store where I met you so that I can buy a --"

"Coffee!" Natalia grinned, nodding.

Pete must have looked insane to her then because she laughed to see him that way.

"Yeah," he said, "either there or in town farther south. The one I saw last Saturday is one that looks a lot like what you described that you saw in Irbit. I just don't know quite how I'm going to pick it up after I pay for it. I mean, it's a little too wide to take on my trailer. I'm sure that, for a fee, they'd deliver it to me, but, ..."

Natalia's index finger shot into the air between them, "I would be happy if I could drive you there and you could ride it back. I would be happy to even see a Ural again. Please, can I?"

Pete found himself grinning at her enthusiastic expression, "I like you more every minute, Natalia. I'd love that too. But I'm a little worried about the weather. They're calling for light snow then, though it might change, I dunno. It's about fifty kilometers, maybe sixty, I didn't keep track when I went there."

Natalia smiled at him a little as she spoke, "You have to be the judge of these things for your own safety," she said, "but I can tell you that there is very little which stopped the army ones which I used to see. If it was wintertime, that was just the way that it was. I used to see them in Romania quite often in winter. The Romanian ones were the same as the Russian ones; they were only painted a little differently with different markings.

But they went everywhere, snow or not," she smiled, "Road or not, too. I think they are like the goats on a mountain. Most times, they did not go fast, but they always went."

She thought for a moment and then she looked at him, "Who will go with you in the sidecar to get coffee? You live alone here, no?"

He nodded, "I was told that if I was going to be driving without a passenger, that I would need to put about a hundred pounds of sand bags in the trunk or on the floor of the sidecar."

She shook her head at that, "Only sometimes, Pete. If you like me for your friend, I am happy to tell you that I am a little more than fifty kilos, so that is, ... one hundred ten pounds and a little. Imagine a woman who is happy to say how much she weighs."

"So you're saying that you'd like to ride with me?" he asked, and she nodded fairly vigorously, "Yes."

"Even in winter?" he asked, leaning forward a little and trying to look at her a little evilly.

She still nodded, "Yes, as long as you are careful and if we can stop for coffee sometimes. I would love that. When I was a girl, I always wanted to ride in one.

Come on, Pete. We are friends already. Take me with you. I promise not to complain too much. I am from Romania. It gets cold there in the winter, the same as it does here.

Where did you find out about these Urals?" she asked, "I have not been here long. I came in March but I am sure that I would have noticed one if I had seen it."

"I saw it on the web and from there; I was able to find the dealer and his site. Want to see?"

She nodded and then she watched his eyebrows knit together.

"I uh, ... I can't remember where I left my laptop the last time," he said.

"I think that it is in the bedroom," she said, looking away for a moment, and studying the window.

When she looked at him, she found him looking at her and she laughed a little.

"Pete," she grinned a little sheepishly as she put her hand over his, "You told me to let myself into your home, so that is what I did. Take a look at me. What am I? Am I a sheep or a cow or a donkey?"

He didn't get it, "You're a human person," he said.

But that only made her chuckle a little, "What kind of human person? And please don't say a Romanian one."

"You're a woman," he said.

"Oh!" she grinned, "Correct. I am a woman. Here. In this house. Where her friend lives all alone. I did not sneak all over in here, but Pete, what kind of woman would I be if I did not at least look around once? I would have to give back my card to the Nosy Ladies Association if I did not at least look."

"Fair enough," Pete laughed, not offended at all. He'd lived with a woman for over three decades. It made sense. She took him by the hand and pulled him gently to the bedroom.

"Show me, please," she said, and after a moment, they both laughed at her gaffe.

"I did not mean, ... " she laughed, even though she couldn't finish the sentence, "Well, you could if you really wanted to. I must admit that I haven't seen one in a long time, but could I see the Ural site first?"

He nodded and he took the laptop out of sleep mode.

She was a little amazed. "That really is what I remember. Which model will you buy?

Wait!" she chuckled, "Please let me guess, ..."

He watched her take the trackball in her hand and scroll around from one page to another for about a minute.

"Here," she said, "This one. Am I right?"

He nodded and she hugged him, "I knew it! You chose the best one!"

They looked at each other for a quiet moment then. Pete thought that it might grow a little awkward and the last thing that he wanted when he was with Natalia was awkward. He was wondering just how to get untangled without making her feel uncomfortable, but Natalia had this way about her.

She looked at him and she smiled softly, "Sooner or later, Pete, we will come to what we want underneath everything else. I am already your friend. I know that it is strange for us both, but I feel this way. You are somebody, ..."

She shook her head in that slow way of hers and she said, "You are someone that I never thought there was. We only know each other for a little while and to me, you feel like a greater friend than I have ever had for my whole life.

You have never asked anything from me, except to read something in Russian to you, but I know that I would do anything for you. You make me feel better when yesterday I wanted to die. I cry all the time, but you make it better even when I do.

It hurt me to cry. Even though I had to cry because I was so, ...

But when I cry with you holding me, it doesn't hurt to cry and I feel a little better when I stop each time."

She looked down for a moment, and then she looked at him again, "I have been afraid of something for this whole day. I have been scared of the time when this evening is over because then, I will have to go home. But it is a place where I no longer wish to be. Maybe it is like your motorcycle to you.

I have had such a good time here with you and even before, I had a special time to look forward to. Now, ... I only have that place, by myself. I do not want to be alone there."

"Tomorrow," he said, "You and I will go there together and we'll look for your papers from when you bought the house. If you want to, Natalia, then please stay here with me tonight. I have a spare bedroom that you can use and it's no trouble.

I can feel how it bothers you to go back there. I know how it feels. I had to come back here after Maggie died. But by then, I was already a little used to it, since she spent the last couple of weeks at the hospital. I guess I knew that she wouldn't ever be coming home anymore. That didn't make it any easier for me to come back here that last day."

He closed the laptop then and he set it down on the nightstand.

"I've never met anyone like you either," he said as he took her hand. "I thought that I'd missed something in the grieving. It felt like there was something stuck in me when I left the hospital the day that Maggie died. I just couldn't get it out. But some of it came out with you last night and I guess there's still probably a little more. All that I know is that I want to know you more than anything.

Helping you is easy, Natalia. It's something that I can do when for so long, I've felt useless."

He slipped his fingers into her hair for a moment and then he smiled, "You're so beautiful to me. I just see so much uncertainty and sadness in you and I wish that I could make everything better. I was thinking while I was driving home that it felt so good to have you here waiting for me. That's a very nice feeling to me. Please stay with me at least tonight. I'm so tired of being alone."

She reached for him and they eased backwards onto the bed looking at each other. Natalia smiled at him and she kissed him for a little while. She touched his face and he watched as her eyes went from one thing to another in her view.

"I want to stay with you, Pete, more than I have ever wanted to be with anyone. I will do whatever you ask of me, but if I can have a little wish, I would like to sleep with you in the same bed where I can hold you without waiting.

I never thought that I would feel this way about a man again, but if you wish for it with me, I would make love with you. We are both not young anymore, but I want my handsome friend tonight or any night that he wishes to begin with me."

She kissed him again and this time, her tongue found his in a lot less time and he was a little surprised to feel that he was ready for that. When they looked at each other again, he smirked a little. "I have to get up at four. I'm gone a little after five."

"That is a very stupid time to have to get up," she nodded, "Maybe we should begin now."

He nodded and he sat up slowly to unbutton his shirt. Natalia sat next to him pulling her top over her head. "I did not bring a toothbrush," she said as she had the thought.

"I've got an electric one with a couple of unused spare heads," he said, "You can just use that."

It seemed so domestic to him all of a sudden. They were two grown up people, not longer young and yet not old, but it was obvious that they liked each other's bodies. The thing was, that it wasn't a big deal to them and they just fell in together very easily.