by BurntRedstone
Another 5⭐️ for one of my favorite authors on Lit, first I was shocked by the statement of a short story! Short story by Burnt? But at the end of the first page I had seen, 11 pages, and was happy!
Very well done story. Excellent flow and the perfect amount of twists and turns to keep it interesting.
Another great story although it does not reach the heights of Jack Danner's adventures.
I liked the double protagonists. Writing 2 main characters was a challenge for such a short story and it ended up quite nicely. Yet I was probably more invested in Candace and would have liked even more of her POV.
Her sister was not only a stereotypical mean bitch, that was nice too.
And steamy (but respectful) sex as usual :)
I'm definitely looking forward to your next story!
What better way to start a day than with a new BurntRedstone story! Stellar story as always!
Thought it was a great story, that is until Candice wanted Greg to start fucking Missy. How does he even look his mother in the eyes while he's fucking both of the Tafferty women? Bet he wasn't raised like that. As for Missy, she may not be schooled or have a trade, but I betting she could have a line up of guys to pick from for ending her loneliness. Candice may truly be a little bit mentally challenged. I find it hard to believe that the FBI would just cut Candice loose while her father was still on the loose. Of course the FBI now days isn't like it used to be, but putting her under surveillance and using her for bait to draw her father out might have been worth the effort.
Well written and an interesting plot. That said some of the dialogue was so hokey I expected the credits to the Andy Griffith show at the end... my point being that the language, interactions of the characters were not terribly believable for this day and age
Yet, the author is still one of my top 10 favorites on this site
Thanks for writing
4 * It was a great story. I could have done without the threesome stuff at the end.
Another very nice story. Although I know that this author likes to create polyamorous situations in his stories, this one seems a bit forced in my opinion. But it didn’t take anything away from this story
Lost a star for bringing Missy into it. Wasn't needed and spoiled the end for me. Otherwise 5star.
Well, our poor MC, relegated having to take care of two lovely ladies emotional needs, tee-hee! Pretty good story. Plotting and being plotted against. But superior intelligence wins out over evil.
I agree with Wh00sher. I love the story, the mystery etc. was so disappointed when missy was brought in at the end. It was unnecessary and only took away from the story.
Mr. Redstone’s tale knocks it out of the park! Great storyline and build up. As for the introduction of Missy everyone missed the fact that Candace knew the hurt and loneliness for so long she could empathize for some one else feeling what she felt! Thank for your great stories, and sharing your talent with us low life!
Love the story - it's a cracker. The ending was a surprise and didn't really fit, in my opinion. But, it's your story and thank you for sharing it.
It was a really good story until the stupid threesome stuff at the end to ruin it
Delightful twist at the end with Candace helping her Missy over her loneliness.
Amazing story. Extra 6th star for Missy - wasn't necessary but it did add a bit to the story. Thank you so much for your effort and the pleasure of reading this. Karma for all the bad people concerned (except maybe the mean nurse :)
Only wish there were mor than five stars. Personally this is a ten. Wonderful to read a new Burnt Redstone story.
A 5* story until Missy made it a threesome at the end. Completely ruined the story.
Damn, I've read every one of your stories at least twice and half three times. I can't get enough of your genius, by far the best Author at Literotica! Another 5 BIG ASS FUCKING HUGE FLAMING NOVA STARS! Thanks once again and please never stop writing.
Never mess with a genius …. Candace what a spectacular character ….. alcohol, the worst drug, as it is a legal drug - alcohol is poison for a human’s body and destroying this body slowly , but drunks destroying other lives quite quickly ….. a wonderful tale
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨☘️🙏
Thank you for this incredible story. You really made Candice and Greg believable characters. The bonds between the characters were realistic and heartwarming. I truly enjoy reading your stories. Looking forward to your next piece. K
I love your work but you HAVE to finish your stories in this genre (unless you have a sequel already bouncing around in your mind)! How did college go? What happened to Crystal and did she catch on her former boyfriend was servicing the other women in the house when she was back on break? Did they get married? How many kids? See what I mean? LOL! 4.6*
This was a great story, didn’t miss a word but I did lose interest when you involved Missy
What a truly wonderful story!!! While there is potentially much story left, this offering felt satisfyingly complete. I know some people are uncomfortable with adding a third into a good relationship. In this case I found it to be not only acceptable, but a wonderful gesture of love. Helping others to heal after a lifetime of pain is never a bad thing. The way it was handled here was respectful and very thoughtful. - I love that Candace mainained her intelligence.
Well written!! 5/5
This isn't a category I read a lot, but I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed this story... 5 stars worth.
The story you wove had a few formulaic parts, but they were handled well, and I don't think they took anything away from the overall tale.
Thanks.
Excellent story. I initially wasn’t sure where it was going but you brought it together beautifully. Thank you.
All in all it’s a cute little story just a bit rushed. Not something I’m used to from BR. Wouldn’t recommend but wouldn’t advise avoiding.
A very good story. You made Candace a very special person. It seemed that Kal deserved some pain of his own from his crash, then prison. But eventually he’d be released from prison and go after Candace - so killing him off probably worked better.
I liked this story. I wasn't surprised nor hugely disappointed that Greg ended up with two women. Unlike NovemberComingFire, I thought the ending was fine; I thought the last of the Superman series had a rushed ending - or at least partly illogical and partly didn't make sense to me.
Why oh why did you have to ruin a 5* romance with a group sex ending? Very disappointing.
This is disappointing to have a handicapped mental individual be the theme of a sex story. This story should be removed from this site as it is totally inappropriate. Just wow......
It's kind of hard to admit, but this is one that actually felt too short. I'm used to or I guess I've gotten used to, many of your stories being around 30 plus pages.. and while I'm so very grateful that this is 11, and something that can be obviously red comfortably in one sitting, it needed more developing. Now I can definitely say that I love the idea of Candice playing like she had a traumatic brain injury, because she should have, as that was a very logical and plausible idea to exploit. Also how you developed it in a shorter version on the whole proved quite credible. Certainly nothing wrong with how you wrote Greg, as he's one of the star athletes with some great friends, but obviously very slow on the uptake when it comes to the female sex, and especially in Crystal's case! You certainly miss nothing painting his pain well from the breakup, and I enjoyed you visited some appropriate comeuppance on crystal right away for being so decidedly one-sided, as well as just illogical. So, I really can't fault anything and how you decided to play out Crystal and Greg's break up. You even wrapped up the state championship game nicely by using Greg's takeout to galvanize the team.. kind of giving us a flash of a high school version of The Replacements, where they most definitely come together as a team and smash Dallas at the end. You also segued well into bringing Candice into Greg's orbit, by using Candice's plans to catch her dad in the act, but also sensibly making her flee the hospital and therefore ensuring she arrives at the Hughes' home. Certainly no one laments that douchebag's death by the name of Kal, which struck me as quite comical how he kind of flew over that bridge in his car.. although it was very painful how he ran over Mrs Gordon.. which wasn't that really a Batgirl jab?? Then, we move on to you drawing Candace and Greg close together, then with reconciling positively both Crystal and Greg. While some of those elements seem to be a shade convenient, I can't say they didn't seem believable. So definitely we're on largely good footing, but while Byron was a total jerk with Missy, it's pretty obvious that with Missy's looks she could have snagged any guy that she wanted despite how you chose to spin that...well because she was Byron's trophy wife, that she was damaged goods no, when you've definitely got part of the part of the family riches, the males in that county were probably going to be quite willing to overlook all that. So when I combine the idea of in some cases for example you could have taken more time to draw out Candice's deception and while it was sufficient for the length of story you penned, I really think there would have been greater merits to drawing out more details about how well exactly Candice had planned this, by really giving her more to hang her hat on metaphorically.. because the part that really stuck out as rushed was that she basically had to blurt it out to Marion hughes, which wasn't bad... but it was a very tangible loss that somehow that reveal happened way too quickly. So when I combine that part with effectively making a threesome that didn't really have to happen because the whole point behind the story was making Candice the main character, so you telegraphed part of your ending.. which I don't remember you ever doing before. I'm not sure what that is owed to, because I knew that obviously Candice was going to come out ahead, and I hadn't read any reviews before I started reading the story so I would not enter with any preconceptions or other ideas. So yeah, the fact that Candice ruminated about how unfair Crystal had treated Greg.. it only made sense for Candace to be front and center stage not just pleasing Greg but also receiving and really enjoying him, and therefore explaining the need to exclude Missy in some plausible way from the ending threesome. I really hate to say it because with very few exceptions is there ever a time I skip one of your stories and that's to say nothing of the fact that usually every last story I've read of yours feels easily worthy of a five. So, while I'm exceedingly grateful for this tale and be published in such a way for us to enjoy, it feels like a let down... but I have to be true to myself and to the structure of the story, and I have to award it only a 4 for the reasons I've already named. Just to know that I've always admired your stories, and if you are an author in here that in many ways needs to be emulated in so many ways by the quality of your work- - especially what I've always come to associate with it - - which is the depth and complexity of the characters and the exposition.
You have no idea how weird it is to say “finish the damn story” on an 11-page story, but there is so much more to say 🤣😱. I enjoyed this tale. Initially, I, too, was out off with the idea that the love interest was a brain trauma victim. But I’m glad I continued and a real story came out. Well done.
Very nice, although I don't think Missy added much. I agree it needs a final chapter.
Decent story. While Cadence's side of romance is very well developed, there is very little reason described of why Greg falls in love with her apart from her flashing her scars and visiting a few times at the hospital, all this while she was supposed to be "simple minded". Hence, the part where they seemed deep in love seemed to take the diminish the quality of otherwise excellent story.
[02.01.24]
Top Tier!
Love the Python (?) reference:
Greg looked at Tim with a shaky smile. "Tis but a flesh wound."
11/10!!!!!
[02.01.24] Duex:
Hey:
Anonymous [19 days ago]
This is disappointing to have a handicapped mental individual be the theme of a sex story. This story should be removed from this site as it is totally inappropriate. Just wow......
Are you dense????
Did you not read the plot that she was pretending to be a "handicapped mental individual"?????
Pay attenrtion next time.
Loved this story, I have it bookmarked but lost me when missy got involved in the relationship, seemed unnecessary
Well done again, another great story from the Master storyteller. I love how your short stories are sooo much longer than other writers chapters are. Thanks! Anony Mous
Another great 5⭐️ story from you, this is also in my favorites. Missy getting involved with them was in my opinion not necessary, Yet also interesting.
Why?? Why did you have to drag Missy in the final part?? It ruined the flow of the story.
I understand your passion for harems. In some of your works, harems are constructed very well, but not here. It's just a stupid harem that came out of nowhere. There is no meaning to this, other than the very fact of its presence in this work of yours. The initiator of the group, Candace, given the speed of her decision-making, her intelligence and ability to get her way, I really feel sorry for Greg in the future. She doesn't love him enough not to share him with others immediately after the first intimacy. I can imagine that very soon she will be sharing her body with other men. This romantic relationship was doomed the moment she asked her boyfriend to have sex with another woman. It's a shame, the story was good almost until the last page. 4*.
Completely ruined the ending bringing Missy in. Wrecked the whole story for me.
A teenagers version of classic, "Its a Wonderful Life".
Polyamory with a peer and a mile as a young teenager is more than a wet dream. How can one concentrate on information security with such hedonistic distractions. Nerds and geeks find solace on the web and antisocial behavior for a reason.
A benevolent CEO would find resistance in traditional corporate practices exploiting mining resources for great profit with the same management. (Complacent business as usual? Chauvinistic Conservative industry? No corporate childcare centers onsite?)
No 'greening' of extracting scarce minerals to save the planet or avoiding existential extinction...(acquiring cobalt and lithium mines instead of coal?)
The stepmother- in- law thing was off putting. It didn’t come across as erotic, just warped. Letting her and the sister stay would have been good, maybe a boyfriend from the FBI or State Troopers?
Good story but dropped the rating because of the decision to write Missy into their sex life. It was unnecessary and for me, a disappointing choice. Missy had options— re-engage with the community or relocate. It seems unlikely that she would have been held accountable for Byron’s actions.