Sweet Southern Comfort

I slowly opened my eyes while I panted for breath. Her cheeks were flushed as she cupped my cheek. My whole body shook from need, emotion, and desire. I couldn't find my voice as I opened my mouth to tell her... anything. How wonderful she was. How incredibly beautiful she was. Anything and everything. The words failed me.

"What are we doing, Erik?"

I stared into her eyes, lost in emotion. "I don't know." I pressed my cheek against hers and felt her smooth skin and melted. "But I like it." I pulled back to look at her. "I like it a lot, Claire." It was only a tiny lie of omission. But it didn't seem the right time to make declarations of love. I cupped her face in my hands and stared at her. It made me smile. "Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

She bit her lip cutely in indecision. "I should really sleep. They know to call me if there is any change." She stifled a yawn and I made a decision. I stood with Claire in my arms and headed down a hallway.

"Which door is yours?"

She grinned as she pointed one out. I stepped inside to find a feminine room with a comfy, double bed. I set her down and cupped her face. "Get ready for bed. I'll turn the down the covers."

She slipped through the door to a connecting bathroom as I turned to the bed. I lifted off the excess of pillows before I got to the one she used. It smelled of flowers and powder. I sniffed it deeply before I pulled back the bedcovers. I turned around when I heard the bathroom door open. Before me stood a vision of Claire, her face freshly scrubbed and her hair loose around her face, as she stood before me in an old shirt that was probably Liam's. It gaped at the neck and exposed a bit of her shoulder. The hem ended mid-thigh. She couldn't have been any more provocative if she had stood before me naked. I swallowed deeply. "Climb on in."

She sat down before tucking her feet under the covers. I pulled her blankets over her. I turned to leave. "I'll let myself out." Her hand on my arm stopped me. I turned to look at her and saw the indecision on her face. I knelt by the bed and took her hand. "Tell me."

"I don't want to be alone." She shrugged her shoulders and her cheeks turned a bit pink. "Would you stay?"

I sat back on my heels, my heart racing. She didn't know what she asked. "Sure. I can bunk on the couch."

Her shy smile tore through me. I knew what she asked for, but I had to hear her say it. "Will you hold me, Erik?"

I swallowed again as I sat back to take off my shoes. It dismayed me as I fumbled the laces, because my hands shook so badly. When my shoes were off, I stood and moved to the other side of the bed, unsure of myself, I felt like a clumsy oaf. Her eyes never left me as I moved. I went to crawl beside her, but her frown stopped me. "What?"

"You won't be very comfortable." Her smile warmed my already over-heated body. "How do you normally sleep?"

Her impish smile I'm sure was in an effort to embarrass me. I stood to my full height and slipped my t-shirt over my head. "As naked as the day I was born." I stepped on my socks to remove them then reached for my belt. I paused, in order for Claire to protest. She never did. I undid my belt and unbuttoned my jeans before they slid off my legs. I stood before her in my briefs. I wasn't about to go completely bare, at least not yet. I lifted the covers and crawled in beside her.

As I settled on my side, Claire turned and wrapped her arms around me and burrowed her head into my chest. She chuckled. "The chest hair tickles."

I chuckled too, but it came out nervous sounding. She felt so good in my arms. I never knew that sharing space with someone in a bed could be so rewarding, so much like coming home. "Sorry about that."

"Nah." She looked up into my eyes. "It's nice."

I smiled at her. Then my smile faded as hers did. I wanted to kiss her again. She clutched my arms with her hands. "What are we doing, Erik? This is crazy. We hardly know each other."

I took her in my arms and pressed her against me. "Shh. We're only sleeping. The rest we'll determine later." I kissed her forehead and stroked her back until she relaxed. "Nothing is happening that we don't want to happen."

Two days of hard driving and unpacking had wiped me out. I fell asleep almost as quickly as Claire did. When I awoke in the early morning, just as the sky began to lighten, I became aware of where I was lying. Claire lay against my chest, her hands resting against me. I lay on my back and savored the sensation of finally understanding why people slept side by side. I was content to lie there until she woke and savor the sensation of being near her.

You're pathetic, Johansen. That's all I thought while I held her in my arms. No one falls in love so fast. And yet, I couldn't discount how I felt either. I'd give anything to be with her, to hold her forever. I only hoped that one day; she would feel the same towards me. When the nearby clock said six, the alarm went off. Claire woke and leaned over me, pressing herself against my torso. The pleasure of it made me stifle the groan of excitement. She looked down at me and smiled sleepily. "Good morning, Erik."

"Good morning."

She stood and stretched, revealing a bit more of her thighs. She looked down at me and grinned. "When do you have to report to work?"

"Eight." I only choked a bit on the words.

"There's a shower in the bathroom down the hall. Why don't you get ready and I'll feed you breakfast at the café?"

I sat up as I threw back the covers. I wasn't exactly able to stand and walk around. Beyond aroused, I knew I'd embarrass myself if Claire saw me. Sitting away from her, I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on. As I stood and buttoned myself up, Claire shut the bathroom door. I headed down the hall, showered and dressed. Shortly after, she led me in her car to her café downtown.

After one of the best breakfasts of my life, both food and company, I went downtown for my first day on the job. I spent two hours in Human Resources filling out paperwork, another hour meeting a bunch of city officials, and even an hour signing away vital body parts for my gun, uniform, and car keys. Once it was all done, I found Jackson in his office. Only this wasn't the fun-loving, humorous, playful but professional man I'd met almost two weeks ago. The only thing the same was his professionalism. The entire office walked around on eggshells around him. He wasn't mean or angry; he was cold, almost turned off. All these people needed to do was look in his eyes. They brimmed with pain. They cried out for someone to understand. They searched everyone for a shred of hope.

Biting the bullet, I decided to lead with my heart. "Hey boss man? Why don't you take some time to be with Liam?" When he looked up at me with a frown, I almost backed down. Almost. "There's nothing like trial by fire at a new job."

Jackson smiled at me, probably the first smile I'd seen him give since I'd arrived. Then it washed away into nothing. "I can't do that to you, Erik."

"Hey. If the one I loved were in the hospital, I'd want to be there."

Jackson swallowed. "Thanks."

*** Jackson ***

I spent three days in a tear filled, drunken funk in a hotel room not two blocks away from Liam's hospital. It took that long for the pity, fear, and remorse to wash through my system. Then I got angry and started fighting back. It didn't matter one bit that the bartender asshole broke into my home and tried to take my life away from me. I won. I survived. Now I had to make Liam see that the future didn't have to be bleak.

I left the hotel, a hangover the size of Montana resting on my shoulders, and headed for the nearest library. I spent hours pouring over every piece of research there was on how to cope with HIV. When the answers were sketchy, I wrote down my questions and found a local doctor who could answer them for me. It took the rest of the afternoon, but I had a list of questions that I could take to him the next day. I had to know. I had to find out if I could be in Liam's life without hurting him, without making him sick.

It was the following Thursday when I finally had the courage to go home and face what was left of it. Black smudges for fingerprints dotted the walls and around each of my telephones. The creepy feeling causing the hair on the back of my neck to stand on end didn't leave the longer I spent in the house, avoiding my bedroom at all costs. I used my cell phone and called Sam.

"Sam, Jackson. What do you need from my house?"

"Where the hell have you been? We've been frantic trying to find you."

I sighed. "I needed time. I needed to get my head on straight."

"Did you?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I finally did."

Clearing away the emotion from his throat with a brisk cough, Sam became pure business, pure cop. "We need a deposition. The crime scene has finished with your home."

I didn't want to ask, but knew I had to anyway. "Are his test results back?"

Sam was quiet for a moment. "Yes. They are. They're negative."

My knees gave way as I sank to the back step. "Thank you, Sam. Thanks a lot."

"Why did you want to know about the house?"

I chuckled, dashing tears from my eyes. "I want to sell the house. I don't think I can live here anymore."

I heard the caring, understanding Sam come back. "I hear you. You can come stay with—"

"No. Thank you, but no. I have some work ahead of me with Liam, but no."

"Do you need any help?"

"No. I'll call you if I do. When do you want me for the deposition?"

Sam blew out his breath. "Yesterday. But tomorrow morning at police headquarters will do."

"I'll be there. Thanks Sam."

When the phone call was over, I knew what I had to do. I grabbed my jacket and keys and headed out, enjoying the feel of the warm, late spring breeze against my skin. Today was a good day. I was alive. Now there was no fear. Negative. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face. I drove to Liam's house. A phone call to Erik earlier in the day confirmed that he was home and even back to work. When I got out of my jeep, I walked up to Liam's door and knocked. I waited. Then I knocked again. After a few moments, I did it again. His truck was there.

I walked around the side of the house and let myself into the back gate. Nothing. Where the hell was he? I left Liam's feeling lost. That had been the first obstacle since I'd sobered up. I drove around town, hoping to see him. Only after two hours, he wasn't anywhere to be found. I headed back to my place and packed a couple of bags.

*** Claire ***

After Erik left for his first day of work, my morning flew by. They always do. I do a steady business for breakfast with barely any break before lunch. It was probably the only thing that kept me sane. Every time I thought of Liam in the hospital, my heart squeezed in pain. He was the rock in my life, the one I could turn to for anything. And boy, did I have something I could use his advice on.

Erik Johansen had become something to me so quickly, that I needed his advice to make sure I wasn't making any mistakes. When he'd shown up at my door, the shock and pleasure at seeing him again broke through the dam I'd put up against my emotions. When the first brick fell, the rest crumbled until I could do nothing but cry out my hurt. The fact that he didn't run, like Isaiah had done, or yelled like Ben was prone to do, endeared me to Erik even more. He'd simply held me and tried to comfort me without speaking. I'd felt safe in his arms. But more than safety, I felt peaceful, as if I'd come home and never wanted to leave.

And then he'd kissed me. I couldn't believe how much passion and need could be conveyed with a simple kiss. Of course, the kiss had been anything but simple. It took everything I had to pull away from him. The way he kept his eyes shut, his mouth slightly open, and the way he panted made me realize how much I affected him. My body screamed from wanting him, but my heart, my heart nearly crumbled with his sweet, slightly naïve approach.

It had been nothing to ask him to stay. The devil inside me challenged him about his clothes. It had been a true treat to watch him undress. His shoulders were so very broad and covered in thick, beefy muscles. His skin was burnished tan. His chest was forested heavily with straight, baby soft looking golden hair. As he shucked his jeans, I nearly moaned. No man should make underwear models pale in comparison like Erik did. Once he'd covered up and pulled me to him, the raw desire mellowed and I could simply enjoy lying in his arms. It was even better to wake up in them.

Over the next few days, Erik and I developed a pattern. He'd join me for breakfast or lunch at the diner and then stop by after work to take me to the hospital. He'd sit by me at Liam's bed, fetch food for Jackson, and be there for me when Liam didn't wake up. Each night he'd leave me at my front door with a kiss. Gentle and chaste, it still spoke of that raw desire he'd shown me that one evening he'd held me in his arms.

When Liam woke, the happiness swamped me and I had to fight the tears while I was with him. It was only when I could leave the room that I gave into my relief and cried out my worry. Erik held me in the halls of the hospital and let me cry. His strength and ability to comfort me endeared him to me. In such a short time, the raw desire that I'd felt had grown into so much more. That night, as I drove myself home, I realized I had fallen in love.

The next day, Erik joined me at the diner and waited for a quiet moment so he could tell me what he'd found at Jackson's house. My heart stuttered in my chest at how close both of them could have been lost to us. Erik covered his hand with mine as he pulled me into his arms. "It isn't like this normally. My life is seldom in danger."

"But you could die."

He pulled back to look at me. "So could you. Either of us could be hit by a bus." He grinned as he cupped my cheek. "A rogue eagle could dive bomb us in our backyard. We could slip and fall in the shower." He shrugged his shoulders. "Don't give up on us because you're afraid." He brushed his lips against mine. "Please?"

I nodded as he stood to leave for work. His uniform hugged his legs and accentuated the breadth of his shoulders. "Erik?"

He turned to look at me with a grin on his face. "Yes, Claire?"

"I'll see you tonight after work?"

"Try and stop me."

The night we brought Liam home from the hospital was one of the saddest days. He looked so lost as he sat in the backseat. I didn't understand why Jackson had done what he'd done. He loved Liam. They were crazy in love with each other. It didn't make sense.

After we dropped Liam at his house, I offered to stay with him. But he sent me away. Erik drove me home. I expected our usual kiss at the door. Instead, he took my key and came inside with me. He took my hand as he led me into the living room. Instead of sitting opposite him on the couch, he pulled me into his lap.

"Claire. There's something I want to talk to you about."

"What?"

He took my face gently in his hand and ran his thumb over my lip. "I've fallen in love with you, Claire." He lowered his forehead to mine and smiled. "Will you marry me?"

I sat back from him, surprised. "When? How?"

He sat back and smiled shyly at me. "The moment I met you and I don't know. I'm only glad that it happened."

I couldn't speak. My eyes filled with tears as I stared at him, moved beyond belief. More love than I ever knew existed flowed through me. I swallowed twice before I could speak. "I'd love to marry you."

His smile spread across his face. Erik pressed me into him as he hugged me and laughed. "I love you so much, Claire."

"I love you too."

His lips found mine and devoured me. His hands cupped my face as he slowly opened my mouth and tasted me. I whimpered from the feel and taste of him. When he finally pulled back from my lips, his breath was harsh as he lowered his forehead to mine. "If you want to wait, I'd better leave now."

My forehead moved against his as my lips grazed his. "Wait?"

"To make love."

His words cut through the sensual fog I'd rested in. I pulled back and looked at him. "I thought you were waiting..." I smiled. "Oh."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "No, Erik. I don't want to wait."

He smiled as he stood and carried me towards my bedroom.

*** Jackson ***

I hopped in my jeep and drove over to Claire's house. When I got there, I banged on the door, waiting for her to answer. Her car was there but it took a long time before I heard any approaching footsteps.

When the door opened, I was hit in the face with two realizations. One, Erik Johansen was a big, strong man. Two, he looked like a Viking god and a bit like a comic book hero. The man was one huge wall of shoulders and chest, deep, thick, broader than hell, muscular beyond belief, and coated with a thick layer of gold-blond fur. As I trailed my eyes down his body, I realized two other things. One, my deputy was wet, but not from a shower, and two, I'd interrupted something really important, if the hugely tented towel slung low on his hips indicated.

I know my face burst into flame as I looked quickly away. "Erik, I'm sorry..."

"Stop it boss man. What do you want?"

Oh God. This was more embarrassing than the time my mother walked in on me having sex when I was sixteen. "I can come back." I looked in his eyes and beyond when I heard Claire in the house. "Or better yet, talk to you tomorrow."

Claire poked her head over Erik's shoulder. "Chief. What are you doing here?"

Her tone was less than pleased. "Look Claire, I'll come back tomorrow, or better yet, see Erik at the office in the morning."

Erik looked at me, then at Claire. "Excuse us for a minute boss." He shut the door in my face, and I heard quiet murmurs behind the door. Within thirty seconds, the door opened again and Erik smiled at me. "Give us an hour, and we'll stop by your place."

He tried to shut the door again, but I put my hand against it. "I'm not staying there. You can find me at the motel."

Erik looked at me, and I let him see everything. He nodded once, and then smiled. "We'll give you two hours then."

I left Claire's house, truly chagrined. I made it perhaps three blocks away before I burst out laughing. The small town we lived in had one small motel. It had fourteen rooms and was mostly unoccupied for most of the year. I got a room with no problem and after putting my stuff away, waited two long, boring hours for Erik and Claire. The entire time, my mind came up with wild and outlandish ideas on how to win Liam back.

When they arrived, I had two questions, one for each of their glowing faces. "Erik. I have to go downtown tomorrow and give my deposition. When I'm done, if I give you a call from my cell, will you do me a favor and arrest Liam?"

Without pausing, I turned to Claire. "Can you get me some food for three days together so I can pick it up tomorrow afternoon?"

They looked at me as if I were crazy, until I saw the ring on Claire's finger. "You two are engaged?"

At Erik's sweet blush and Claire's enthusiastic nod, I congratulated them both with a hug. "Congrats you two. Now here's my plan..."

*** Liam ***

Friday was my second day back. It happened to be a three-day weekend coming up, and thankfully, my staff was more than competent in my absence. When lunchtime hit, I headed over to Claire's. I missed my cousin, and my sad, lonely soul could use her company. Three solid days of searching for Jackson had netted me nothing. He was nowhere to be found. As each day passed, my heart shriveled a bit more.

I sat in my usual spot at the back and watched as Claire bustled around, serving people then step into the back, filling up a huge ice chest of food and drinks. When she spotted me, she came over with my lunch and sat in front of me.