All Comments on 'Swimmer Returns Home To Mom'
by drtruth
- 16 Comments
Fubar2kover 15 years agoAs I said with your last story, I like what you write; I like the romance you put into your characters. But this time I have to say you were not at your best form. There are literally dozens of typos in this story, which are there solely because you did not proof your writing.
At the start you describe Marie as being "36C" - I God I hate that. For one thing, I want to imagine how I see her, not as a statistic from an underwear advert. I want you to draw me a word picture of how beautiful she is. If you are going into detail like 36C, then why not describe the moles she has, her appendix scar and the three acne blotches on her cheek! Get the point. Less is much, much more.
On the next page you call your lady Melissa, and then three lines later Marie. Losing the plot are we, or getting muddled as to which story we are currently in?
And finally, another major pet hate - stating and restating the obvious ... Early in the story, you go to great pains, and very well, to describe how well endowed Tim is. And half a page later (twice) you refer to his "big cock"! We already know he is well-built. Marie would probably not have spoken of his "big cock". I get the impression she is far too classy for that - would someone like that not have "your beautiful cock" ... ?
These are mistakes made by second-rate writers on this and other similar sites. You have written beautifully in the past. This however is really not one of them. But again, thank you for an enjoyable story. Regards, Michael
digdaddyrichover 15 years agoThe characters are very vividly sexy, and come to life in this well written story. Thanks for the good work....Rich
Anonymousalmost 15 years agoMichael is a fine young athlete, with a hunky body. His mother is in trim voluptuous shape. Driving home, Michael recalls how his mother looked in a bikini, with her maternal cunt practically in full view. Their reunion is joyous, while Mom already can feel her boy's big hard on as they hug. Mom keeps close tabs on what's happening in her son's pants, and vows that soon she'll be making him cream his jeans! Michael has other ideas of where he'll be creaming, and mother and son play little sex games, exciting and inciting each other. A time at the movies has both of them playing between each other's legs. Michael has every son's deep pride and satisfaction, as he finger fucks his mother to a fantastic cum. Mom discovers her boy's 8+ incher, and goes to town. She strokes her boy to a fabulous cum as his big balls yield their rich creamy treasure. And this is only the beginning!
Anonymousabout 13 years agoPlease keep going with this story. It really lit me up. Lots of potential here and you have made an excellent start. Well done.
Anonymousalmost 12 years agoLots of ways to go from here, very nicely put together with just the right touch of edge of the seat getting caught stuff. South Florida is a good place for this story with its warm beaches and the feeling of innocence in the air... Please continue.
LAROCover 11 years agoNICE START, THIS KID HAS IT MADE. HOT MOM, WILLING MOM. HOPE HE WON'T SCREW IT UP. YOU NO KIDS. INCEST IS FOR FAMILY. ...........................LAROC OF AGES
Jagnagabout 7 years agoLoved the story but in places i was thrown by the spelling mistakes or wrong word placement and so as a word of advice, please proof read at least twice and get a friend to read it too prior to publishing it.
Loved the story, first effort is excellent bar the above :)
rufriterover 6 years agoYou must have been reading a different story.
Other than one time he calls his mom Lisa Marie Cross -- her full name, the name Marie is not repeated, and there was certainly no mention of a Melissa.
The typos were insignificant in an otherwise very good tale.
