All Comments on 'Taken Ch. 02'

Getting darker by the minute.

I hope she can keep up the defiance.

Good luck with your story. I'm sure it will be popular with certain folks. You can string sentences together into coherent paragraphs. Tell an old story in a new way. Tell a new story in an old way. Keep writing, you may find your own voice.

But here's how your story goes:

She's beaten, whipped, fucked - learns to love it - love him - love the life - they settle down, have babies that she indoctrinates, and she helps to brainwash the younger brother's bride. Story is told a hundred times on this site. Just once - ONCE - I'd like to see an author write about a woman who figures out how to outwit these witless thugs.

Here's the general plot outline for that story - she's wary, watchful, notes the patterns, notes how they think - uses that knowledge against them. She's very intelligent, a superior actress, she's eventually able to convince even the asshole older brother that she's "submitted." When she makes her escape she lays a false trail, knowing they have superior tracking skills - she takes months to lay the trail - after she appears to have been broken, they trust her on her own within the confines of the ranch. When she makes her escape she makes it seem as if she's gone off a different way - the false trail works - they think she's taken a rubber raft down the river rapids - but really she's hidden it in an out building. The same outbuilding she stashed her supplies she's been slowly accumulating. All of the men take off looking for her, needing to head down river - but really, she's still hidden. THEN she leaves - knowing the local folk are in league with these astonishingly hateful, stupid racist assholes, she avoids the main town - using back roads until she can reach safe harbor. She was able to find an old map underneath layers of old posters in a barn - long forgotten, and improve upon it with the small bits of information she gets from time to time.

The idiots think she's drown. She's had 3 days head start. Maybe she's pregnant - heavily so - and there's drama before she makes it to safety. Maybe she was able to bring one of the other wives or older daughters over to her side and that character is with her and helps her. When they get to safety it's kept quiet so a rescue of the others can be planned and executed with minimal bloodshed. The animal "men" head back to the compound dejected and defeated having not found her and her accomplice - believing them dead.

Within days, a stealth unit moves in getting the women and children out safely when the men are out working. Then - helicopters, SWAT teams, a whole fucking national guard unit descends, capturing the perpetrators. LINDSAY - gets to lord it over the asshole older brother who survives. Tells him - "And you thought I was stupid - you thought I gave in - you thought I couldn't get away. I never gave in. I am stronger than you. FUCK YOU." He's raped repeatedly in prison. He's the cell block bitch. He has to submit - repeatedly - forever. The "husband" is mortally wounded, but she gets to tell him before he dies that she never loved him - and cannot raise his child - it's put out for adoption. She is never the same - but she's nobody's slave. She is not a slave to her sexuality. She doesn't fall in love with someone because he knows how to work a clitoris during a rape.

I get the appeal of the strong male overpowering the weak female - it's fun to put the onus of one's sexuality on another person - rather than owning it - and being responsible for it. Oh no, don't - sex is bad - oh, no - oh, oh, oh, oh, but it feels so good - you have to force me to do it because it's wrong - oh, oh, oh, Ohhhhhhh. It's way more fun to be empowered sexually - to be a full partner to your partner - and play, with full consent, in whatever way floats your boat.

yes fucking dead...kill them all now!

and to the anonymous who doesn't like it or ASSUMES s/he knows how MY story is going to end. well shove it. because you dont know shit. and if you got such a fantastic idea of something you'd like to read, write it your damn self.

You know Jade, don't be discouraged by negative comments..you have a great start and i hope you keep going with it. The sign of a strong person is one who keeps going in spite of those that try to pull you down. If they think they can do it better, then by all means they should create a profile and submit a story of their own!

You are right anonymous.it's crap same old same old..isn't this the last tritain?????

I think your doing a great job with your story, don't listen to those nasty people who say hurtful things. I don't see any of them writing anything for anyone else to judge! It's easy to be a dick behind a computer screen, but it's hard to put yourself out there, especially if it's your first time writing. Keep at it, I'm sure you'll get quite the fan following in due time! We're all here because we like non consent, and however you want to write it is up to you; it is your story after all. If people are so concerned with the quality/content, perhaps they should grab a published, edited book along the lines of their interests, maybe then they'll shut up. Nasty people.

Good luck with writing, I know I will continue to read your stuff :)

Great start but for once I wouldn't mind a happy ending for the captive, haven't seen one yet!?

I dont like that she stabbed Clyde. Don't get me wrong....I just wish it was George as he posts the most threat as to her getting free. Chris had taken a shine to her... Anyone see him killing the others to get Lyndsay/Skye?

P.S. This is nothing like "The Last Tritan"....so shut up. Don't lime the story? Fine....I can't say don't read it because you need to read it in order to not like it but after that shut up. Go rub one out, or in ;) and on to the next.

I agree with anonymous on how this story is going to go, but if its not then please prove us wrong and write the story different than any other story like this.

Another great chapter! Please continue writing and post the next chapter up soon. I didn't like that Christopher get to have Skye first. Since she's Clyde's first wife and how the story so far about him helping her shower and that she's still a virgin, it's only fair that Clyde gets to "break her in" first and then let his other brothers have a turn with her. Perhaps you can make Clyde change his mind when you write the next chapter? Like maybe it's a retaliation to her stabbing him on his hand? Lol

Anyway you're doing a great job! Look forward to read the next post :)

I love the start of this story and the storyline. I really like the characterization of the family and the three brothers and cannot wait to see more from them, the crazy that they give off is extremely interesting. This story is very intriguing and I am anxiously awaiting the next chapter.